Say You Love Me

by J. S. Cooper

  “TJ knows better than to say anything.” She laughed. “I’m getting a Brazilian for him next week. He can deal with some hair for a couple of days.”

  “Ooh, you getting a landing strip?”

  “Dunno.” She shook her head. “But most probably.”

  “Lucky,” I said wistfully.

  “Lucky?” She looked at me like I was crazy. “How is that lucky? Waxing down there is pain I could do without.”

  “I wish I had someone to wax down there for.”

  “You could do it for yourself,” she suggested.

  “Are you crazy?” I laughed. “I love myself enough to not put myself through that pain for nothing.”

  “Oh, Sally.” She laughed. “What am I going to do with you?”

  “Find me a Prince Charming — anyone who can get my sorry mind off of Cody.”

  “So what about we go to a bar, then? We don’t have to get sexied-up, but we can look good.” She grinned.

  “I guess I can do a bar.” I nodded. “I can get drunk off of my ass and then dance on the bar top.”

  “You’re going to dance on the bar top? Coyote Ugly style.”

  “If you get me drunk enough.” I winked at her.

  “Oh, I’ll get you drunk enough.” She grinned. “This I have to see.”

  “You just want me to embarrass myself.” I laughed.

  “No, I just want you to have fun.” She grinned back at me. “And maybe if we get drunk enough, we can both do it.”

  “Yeah, that would be cool.” I grinned back at her. “And if TJ ever finds out, he will ban us from being friends.”

  “TJ can’t ban me from anything.” She laughed. “Well, I guess it depends what he’s trying to ban me from and what he’s offering me in return, but he can’t just ban me ban me.”

  “Uh huh, does TJ know that?”

  “No.” She giggled. “He can think whatever he wants to think. And if he thinks he can ban me from something, then let him think that.”

  “Cody can ban me from anything he wants to.” I closed my eyes. “Whatever he wants, I’d do. Whatever he said, I’d listen to. Just for the chance to be with him. Damn, if I had another chance at a night with him, I’d do whatever he wanted me to do in the bedroom.”

  “Sally…” Mila’s voice sounded exasperated.

  “I know, I sound pathetic.” I opened my eyes and looked at her. “This is what your brother has done to me.” I put my hands up in the air and then clutched my heart. “Oh, broken heart of mine, how will I ever live and love another again? Cody Brookstone has stolen you away from me and I fear you may never be mine again.” I shook my head melodramatically and fell back into the chair behind me. Mila just stood there, watching me with a semi-concerned expression, and I knew she was wondering if she’d made a mistake by bringing up her plan in the first place. It wasn’t working out well and, if anything, the added friendship that Cody and I now had was threatening to tear me in two. I didn’t want to be his confidante and best friend. I wanted to be his lover and the love of his life.

  * * *

  “This is the bar that all the hot guys go to?” I looked at Mila with a discouraged face as we walked into Random’s, the bar Mila had been building up for the last hour.

  “Yes.” She gave me a weak smile and I watched her face turn towards the bar and the two middle-aged balding men who were sitting there drinking beers. “Maybe we’re early.”

  “It’s nine thirty.” I gave her a look. “When do the hotties come out?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Ten thirty?”

  “Uh, okay.” I sighed, my spirit sinking. “Exactly who told you that this was the happening place for single women?”

  “Yelp,” Mila admitted sheepishly.

  “Yelp!” I groaned. “You know the bar owner probably posted some fake reviews to attract suckers like us.” I shook my head and looked around the bar once again. “And it looks like it only worked on us.” Except for us and the two middle-aged men at the bar, there was a big bulky tattooed guy sitting with a really skinny girl who looked like she was high on drugs. The bar was dark, dirty and dingy and I was confident that I would be spending no time dancing on the bar top this evening or any other evening.

  “Let’s just get one drink and we can go somewhere else,” Mila said encouragingly as she walked towards the bar. “Maybe the first drink will make us feel better.”

  “Of course alcohol will make us feel better. The question is do we want to feel better in this dump?”

  “Sally.” Mila looked at me with widened eyes as we both realized that the bartender had heard me.

  “You ladies want a drink?” He looked over at me and barely bat an eyelid.

  “Sure,” I said and reached into my bag to grab my purse, feeling slightly embarrassed that he’d heard me. What if he turned out to be the bar owner? It wasn’t his fault that he ran a dumpy bar. I mean, he was trying to gain new clientele it seemed, if his fake Yelp reviews were to be believed.

  “What do you want?” he said again, looking bored. The expression on his face almost made me turn back around.

  “We’ll get two vodka sprites, please,” Mila said. “Ketel One, if you have it.”

  “Ketel what?” the bartender asked, looking confused.

  “Ketel One Vodka?” Mila said hesitantly. “It’s, uhm, a brand.”

  “I have Smirnoff.”

  “That’s fine,” she said quickly, and I sighed. “This is going to be a long night,” I whispered to her. “I might have been happier lying in bed, crying my eyes out.”

  “Sally, that’s not funny,” Mila chided me, but I could see the smile in her eyes. “I promise the next bar will be much better.”

  “Uh huh, don’t make promises you can’t keep.”

  “I keep my promises.” She looked hurt.

  “You said this place would be swarming with hotties and the only thing I think it’s swarming with is hep B and C.”

  “Sally,” she chided me again, but this time we both started laughing. The bartender handed us over our drinks and we slid onto the two bar stools in front of us. I saw the two middle-aged men giving us the once-over and I gave one of them a scornful look. As if! To my shock, the guy stuck his tongue out of his mouth and flicked it against his lips. I looked away from him quickly and then at Mila.

  “I am going to kill you,” I mouthed to her before taking a huge gulp of my drink. “And it will be a painful death. A very, very painful death.”

  “Sorry.” She grinned and downed her drink. “Not too painful, I hope.”

  “As painful as Cody was the other night with his blue balls,” I said with a straight face and then we both started laughing. I wasn’t sure why I found it so funny. I still felt humiliated and rejected, but Mila had been right. It was better for me to be out of the house, where I didn’t have to spend my time feeling sorry for myself and crying over Cody. At least now I could commiserate and have some laughs as well.

  * * *

  “Hey, so where do you think you want to go next?” Mila chugged down the last drops of her drink quickly and gave me a quick glance.

  “Home,” I said quickly. Even though I was enjoying our time out together, I still wanted to be that miserable person in bed, watching sad romantic movies, feeling sorry for myself, as I gained ten pounds stuffing my face with candy and ice cream.

  “You can’t go home.” Mila glared at me. “We’re already out.”

  “Yeah, we’re out, but I don’t want to be out anymore.”

  “Sally,” she whined.

  “Mila, Mila, Mila, Mila.” I said her name over and over again and she glared at me.

  “You can be so annoying.”

  “Not as annoying as you can be.”

  “You need another drink.”

  “Like I need a lobotomy?” I asked with a small smile. “No thanks.”

  “Sally.”

  “Just stop. I don’t want another drink and I don’t want to go to another crappy
bar,” I whined, getting into my baby-girl act. “I just wanna go home.”

  “I promise the next bar will be a lot better.”

  “What’s a lot better?” I cocked my head to one side and raised an eyebrow at her.

  “Come and you will see.”

  “Why are you doing this to me? I just want to go home and sleep and drown my sorrows.”

  “You can drown your sorrows here with me.”

  “Wouldn’t you rather be home with TJ? Letting him tell you sweet nothings and kissing your neck?” I made a face.

  “TJ doesn’t whisper sweet nothings, so no. And I promised this night to you, so really you should be happy.”

  “Yay, you promised pitiful me a night out.”

  “You’re not pitiful.”

  “Uh huh. I totally am pitiful.” I made a face at her. “I’m going to start dating. I’ve decided.”

  “What do you mean?” Mila gave me a look.

  “I’m going to join an online dating service, or two or three.” I shrugged. “I just need to get out there and meet someone new. Or someone who is interested in doing me.”

  “Sally!” Mila made a face at me. “Come on now.”

  “What?” I looked at her and made a face back at her. “I don’t want to be a single loser forever.”

  “You’re not a single loser.”

  “I am. I’m a loser. I can’t believe I’ve been trying to get Cody for this long. What have I been thinking? It’s never going to happen. He’s just not interested in me in that way.”

  “Cody is an idiot. We both know that. He doesn’t know what he wants.”

  “I’m not waiting around for him anymore.” I shook my head. “I’m done being the girl that every other girl calls a fool.”

  “No one is calling you a fool.”

  “Not anymore because I’m moving on.”

  “Sally, you’re being emotional.”

  “Well, duh. I mean, who wouldn’t be in this situation?”

  “I know.” She nodded. “And I support you. Just don’t write Cody off as yet.”

  “He’s already written me off.” I rolled my eyes.

  “We don’t know that. Just give him a chance. No matter how many awesome guys you meet who want to sweep you off of your feet. There could be many other reasons why Cody went funny the other night. You know guys are weird and my brother is the weirdest of them all. He probably doesn’t even know what he wants. Maybe he’s just trying to figure out what he’s doing and what he wants.”

  “Mila, let’s just go.” I groaned. “This is making me more depressed. I don’t even want to think about it anymore. I just want to forget him.”

  “Fine, but to another bar, okay? Let’s just try one more.”

  “Fine.” I sighed loudly and looked around me. “I doubt it could be worse than this.” We stood up and I did a little shimmy as we walked out. As we reached the door, I turned back around and saw the bartender and the two older guys staring at me. I did a pirouette and then raised my hands in the air. “Peace out, y’all,” I shouted into the bar and then exited, Mila following behind me and shaking her head as she laughed.

  Chapter 11

  Cody

  “So then they asked me if I wanted to be lead and of course I said yes.” Louisa batted her long fake eyelashes at me and I smiled and nodded as she continued to talk about her dance roles.

  “Interesting,” I said as I sipped my beer, my mind wandering to Sally. I looked down at my watch. It was 8pm and I’d only been on this date for thirty minutes, but I was already bored out of my mind and wondering what Sally was up to. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her since the other night. The taste of her skin against my lips had been sweet, mesmerizing and intoxicating. I could still remember the way her back had arched as I’d teased and tantalized her breasts. My entire body had felt like it was on fire as we’d kissed and touched each other. It had been an amazing moment and I’d ruined it. Not because I hadn’t wanted to take her. Every inch of me had wanted to be inside her. Every inch of me had wanted to please her, to take her to heights that would have her screaming out my name. I wanted to feel her nails digging into my back until they punctured the skin. I wanted to feel her whipping her hair across my skin and face as she gyrated on top of me. I’d wanted to consume her so that her whole body would never want another man. The thought had scared me and that was when I’d stopped. Drunken hookups were fine. I had no problem with casual sex, but something about my thoughts when I’d been playing with Sally had made me hesitant.

  “I’m also very flexible.” Louisa’s voice interrupted my thoughts and I looked up at her as she smiled at me in a sexy way with her bright red, vixen lips.

  “Oh, really?” I nodded at her and tried to show enthusiasm at her obvious flirting. Louisa was beautiful and fit, probably better looking than her online photos, but I just couldn’t seem to drum up excitement about our date.

  “Flexible is good,” I said eventually. “I’m not so flexible.”

  “Only one of us needs to be.” She giggled. “I’m flexible enough for both of us.”

  “Good to know.” I smiled at her and watched as her bright red fingernails tapped across the tabletop. “Would you like to get another glass of wine?” I asked her, though I really didn’t care if she said yes or no. I wanted to text Sally and see if she wanted to watch a movie or something, but I knew that would be a mistake. I didn’t want to lead her on or take advantage of her. And it irritated me that I was thinking of her while on this date with Louisa.

  “Sure,” she said and leaned towards me. “We can have another glass here and then maybe head back to my place.”

  “Sure,” I said with a grin. I still had it! “Waiter,” I said, calling him over. “A glass of Zinfandel and a Blue Moon, please.”

  “Yes, sir.” He nodded and walked away.

  “So tell me more about you, Louisa. Any surprising stories?”

  “Hmm, naughty or nice?” she said with a wink and I knew in that instant that she was mine for the taking if I wanted her. Which I wasn’t quite sure that I did. And frankly this annoyed me. She was a beautiful girl and I never said no to a beautiful woman. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and immediately my mind went to Sally. Was she texting me? I looked up and saw that Louisa was still talking to me, but all I could think about was the text. I knew that the probability of the text being from Sally was slim, but I wondered if she was thinking of me at the same time that I was thinking of her.

  “Excuse me a second,” I apologized to Louisa and I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. “I’m expecting an important message and I just need to check my phone. I hope you don’t think I’m being horribly rude.”

  “Go ahead.” Louisa nodded and batted her eyelashes again.

  “Thanks.” I grabbed my phone quickly from my pocket and checked the screen. I felt disappointed when I saw that the text was from my friend John. I didn’t even bother opening the full message before turning my phone off and putting it back in my pocket. “Sorry about that.”

  “Was it the message you were waiting on?” Louisa asked me curiously, and I shook my head.

  “It can wait,” I said and leaned forward. “I don’t want to be rude.” I grabbed her hand and smiled at her, giving her my lopsided grin that seemed to make women swoon.

  “Oh, no worries.” She shrugged. “At least neither one of us had to pull the ‘my friend just had a heart attack and I have to leave’ stunt.”

  “What stunt is that?” I asked her, not sure what she was talking about.

  “How many people have you met online?” she asked with a laugh. “So many guys and girls have fake or old photos or completely lie about themselves. I’ve had so many deaths and heart attacks occur on dates that I’m scared that someone I know really will die.”

  “So a lot of bad dates, then?”

  “You’re the best one yet,” she said, and her fingers squeezed mine. “When I saw you walk in, I thought I’d won the lottery.”<
br />
  “Oh?”

  “Yeah, you’re the hottest guy I’ve ever met online.” She laughed. “Though I don’t know that I should be telling you that.”

  “Aww, you can tell me anything you want,” I said with a smile, though I was already regretting having held her hand. Her fingers felt clammy against mine and I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about Sally and how soft and warm and silky her hands had felt against mine. I was driving myself crazy or at least I had been since that night. Everything felt awkward since that night. I’d woken up the next morning and Sally had been gone. I’d felt empty inside when I realized she’d just left without saying goodbye, but I had thought everything would still be okay. But then she hadn’t called or texted. At all. And that wasn’t like Sally. She usually texted me several times a day with random questions and comments. It wasn’t even something I’d paid attention to, until the texts had stopped. And now…well, now I wanted to know why she’d stopped. And I knew I hadn’t made it better when I’d called her for advice for my date. I’d heard the shock in her voice when she’d responded to my question, the pause when she said, “You’re going on a date and you want my help?” I knew it had been a dumb move, but I’d just wanted to talk to her and show her that everything was still cool. We were still friends. I still valued her opinion. Just because we’d almost had sex didn’t mean anything had to change. I didn’t want anything to change, but I felt like it already had.

  “I’m not the sort of girl who has one-night stands,” Louisa said and her words broke me out of my reverie. I looked up at her and saw the shy, demure look on her face, and part of me wondered if this was an act.

  “Good for you. I can’t say the same.” I laughed casually, my words being an understatement. I’d had far too many one-night stands, but really what guy hadn’t? I enjoyed sex and, to me, that enjoyment was enough. It didn’t mean anything to me and I was pretty sure most women understood that. Though once again that made me think of Sally. Why hadn’t I just slept with her? Any other woman and I wouldn’t have even have thought about stopping. But then, I’d never looked at another woman and felt the same depth of feelings as I had for Sally that night. Though, I suppose that was because she’d been in my life so long and was now one of my closest friends. I didn’t want to overstep that line, that boundary that might somehow cheapen our friendship.