Incognito
Page 5
Martha Of course.
Patricia Great.
Martha Email is probably best.
Patricia The second thing is obviously about the fact that you used to be married and that, upon learning this, I perhaps flipped out and lost my shit a little unnecessarily.
Martha You didn’t –
Patricia I sort of did and I sort of didn’t; it’s a moot point. But the bit that’s un-moot, or whatever the opposite of moot is – What is the opposite of moot?
Martha I don’t know.
Patricia Point being I’m sorry if I overreacted.
Martha You’d –
Patricia But what I don’t get, sorry, is why you didn’t just put ‘divorced’ on your profile? If you’d done that, I probably wouldn’t have been that bothered, but the fact that you didn’t and you held off telling me –
Martha I didn’t tell you –
Patricia I’m just saying as long as there’s nothing else like major that I ought to know about then, you know, I would like to come back and see you another time when I’m not pretending I’m meeting friends.
Beat. Patricia moves to Martha and kisses her; soft, tender. Beat.
Patricia I am going to go now.
Martha Yes.
Patricia You alright?
Martha Yeah, no. I’m fine. Thank you. For coming to see me.
Patricia See you, Martha.
Otto Dear Dr Harvey, You may be surprised hearing from me after such a long time during which there has been no correspondences. A friend sent me recently an article which was published in the Kansas City Times under the title ‘Einstein’s Brain Still a Convoluted Puzzle’. I am writing you to renew our acquaintance of almost thirty years, but also to enquire about your present intention to describe and publish your work on Einstein’s brain. So far as I know, you have never published the results of the research you did over a number of years. As we expressed to you a number of times, we are of the opinion that the results of your work should be made accessible to a larger audience. I believe we owe the scientific world and also laymen some – positive or negative – results of the research on Einstein’s brain. I hope that all has been well with your family and yourself and wish you would be kind enough to remember me to your wife whose acquaintance I was so happy to make when you were living in New Jersey. With kind regards, Otto Nathan, Executor and Trustee.
Retrieving
Michael Morning.
Harvey Good morning.
Michael My name’s Michael. I just moved in to number forty-three.
Harvey Way-ell, welcome to the neighbourhood, Michael.
Michael Thank you; ’preciate that.
Harvey Good to have you.
Michael And sorry, your name is …?
Harvey Thom. Thom Harvey.
Michael Good to meet you, Thom.
Harvey Settlin’ in okay?
Michael Yes, sir. So far.
Harvey You take care now.
Michael Sorry, Thom?
Harvey Yessir.
Michael It’s not … Dr Harvey, is it, Dr Thomas Harvey?
Harvey …
Michael Pathologist Dr Thomas Harvey?
Harvey Can I help you with something?
Michael Okay, full disclosure: my wife and I are science nuts and we would love to take you out for dinner some time.
Harvey That right.
Michael You like sushi?
Harvey Sushi?
Michael Raw fish. It’s a –
Harvey I, uh, I know what kinda food sushi is.
Michael We know a great place.
Harvey You lemme think about it?
Michael Absolutely.
Harvey Good meetin’ you, Michael.
Michael You’ll let me know.
Harvey You bet.
Michael Pleasure meeting you, sir.
Jon Hello Henry, how are you this morning?
Henry I can’t seem to find my cigarettes.
Jon I thought you’d given up?
Henry Oh.
Jon You’re not allowed to smoke in here, anyway.
Henry I was almost certain …
Jon How did you sleep, Henry?
Henry Tell you the truth, I didn’t stay awake to find out.
Jon Henry, do you know who I am?
Henry You’re not related to Janet Fletcher are you?
Jon I am definitely not related to Janet Fletcher, no. But what if I told you my first name was Jon …?
Henry Um …
Jon Take your time.
Henry Williams …?
Jon (genuinely excited) Henry, you clever bugger, well done. And what do you think it is that I do, Henry? What’s my job?
Henry Surgeon …?
Jon Ooh, not quite, but you’re very close. I’m a doctor; a professor, Henry.
Henry I’m sorry if I get a little mixed up.
Jon It’s not a problem.
Henry I have trouble remembering things, you see.
Jon Henry, I wondered if I might be able to ask you a couple of questions?
Henry Certainly.
Jon Some of these questions might seem a bit bizarre, but bear with me, alright?
Henry I will do my best.
Jon I’d like you to count to twenty please, Henry.
Henry Certainly. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven … eleven …
Jon (beat) Henry?
Henry I’m sorry?
Jon Hello Henry, I’m Jon.
Henry Hello Jon.
Jon Henry, I was wondering if I might be able to ask you some questions?
Henry I wonder if you might be able to help me find my wife? Her name is Margaret.
Jon Henry –
Henry I’m starting to worry about her …
Jon Henry, I’m going to read you a series of numbers, out loud, and what I’d like you to do, Henry, is to repeat each one in turn back to me, alright?
Henry Yes.
Jon Alright, here we go. Four six nine.
Henry Four six nine.
Jon Eight two six five.
Henry Eight two six five.
Jon Brilliant. Here’s the next one: ten three five seven two.
Henry Ten three five seven two.
Jon Yes, Henry. Okay. Nine seven three ten one six.
Henry Nine …
Jon Would you like me to give you the number one more time?
Henry I think so.
Jon Nine seven three ten one six.
Henry Nine seven three ten one … six.
Jon Henry: really well done. How do we feel about one more?
Henry …
Jon Henry?
Henry I’m trying to think!
Jon Alright, fair enough.
Beat.
Henry, is everything alright?
Henry shakes his head, growing upset.
Jon Alright, I think we should call it a day. Henry: you’ve done brilliantly. Alright? Bloody brilliantly.
Henry I’m worried about Margaret …
Martha Greg?
Greg Yes. Martha?
Martha I’m so sorry I’m late.
Greg Don’t worry about it.
Martha I had a call from my son just as I was about to leave.
Greg Nice coat.
Martha Thank you.
Greg Looks great on you.
Martha Thank you.
Greg Think you’ve got something in your –
He picks something from Martha’s hair.
Martha Oh.
Greg Fly or summin’.
Martha Odd.
Greg What conditioner d’you use?
Martha Sorry?
Greg Conditioner.
Martha John Frieda?
Greg Nice. Listen I hope you don’t mind standing?
Martha It was like this last time I was here.
Greg You’ve been here before?
Martha With Patricia, Pat, yes.
Greg Great place, right?
Martha Mmm
.
Greg So thanks for meeting with me, Martha. Pat speaks very highly of you.
Martha How do you know Patricia?
Greg We were at law school together.
Martha Yes.
Greg Back in the day.
Martha Right.
Greg Pat’s so great.
Martha She is.
Greg We used to go out. Put that out there.
Martha Oh, okay.
Greg Those were fuckin’ wild days.
Martha Really.
Greg I fuckin’ love Pat. Mean she fuckin’, she was fuckin’. Up for it. D’you know what I mean? And I mean not in a slutty way or anything.
Martha No.
Greg Not in a slutty way At All. Mean that’s what I like about the whole bisexual movement. Mean I’m straight, don’t get me wrong. But. Honestly some of the nicest people I’ve spent time with often swing both ways.
Martha Interesting.
Greg So look, Martha, obviously I don’t need to tell you that anything you and I discuss this afternoon is –
Martha No, of course, I understand.
Greg It’s a juicy case, Martha, I’ll tell you that much. Married couple, mid-fifties, husband is on anti-depressants, has been for the best part of twenty years. It’s their thirtieth anniversary so they decide to go away. Only problem is, y’man’s medication has one particularly unfortunate side effect. Kills his libido, dead. Dick’s as limp as roadkill. Has been for best part of ten years. So he comes off.
Martha Comes off the anti-depressants?
Greg Comes off the anti-depressants so him and his wife can have a right good session, if y’see what I’m saying?
Martha Loud and clear.
Greg So off they go. They drive for I don’t even know what, four hundred miles, ’cross the country, and they stay in some remote bit of Scotland. At this point, y’man’s been off his medication for approximately a week.
Martha A week?
Greg A week. And as far as we know, so far no issues. After two days, he starts having trouble sleeping. On the third night, he wakes up, early hours of the morning, and stabs his wife of exactly thirty years eleven times. Next morning, he wakes up and he’s fucking horrified; devastated. Calls the police and says his wife’s been attacked.
Martha Jesus.
Greg He’s been on remand for six months since the arrest. Crucially, he has no memory whatsoever of the attack.
Martha Wow.
Greg So bringing it up to date, we’re looking to plead automatism and we’re after an expert witness to help us with an MRI, EEG and a full written assessment. So look –
Martha I’m … I’m sorry but I don’t think I’m the right person for the job.
Greg Oh no?
Martha No, I’m sorry.
Greg From what Pat tells me –
Martha I – I suppose the problem is I disagree with the basic –
Greg Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that?
Martha I’m not sure that I could say with any great confidence that this man was any more or less in control of his actions than he ordinarily –
Greg Let’s track this back for a moment.
Martha If I could finish –
Greg Course.
Martha I don’t – I don’t necessarily agree with the legal view of responsibility.
Greg Get you.
Martha I’m sorry?
Greg I’m windin’ you up.
Martha Why would you do that?
Greg Do what?
Martha I thought we were having a serious conversation.
Greg We are.
Martha Then why are you making jokes?
Greg Okay. Wow. Sorry, okay; my bad. Why don’t we
talk about fee?
Martha I’m not interested in money –
Greg You’re not?
Martha I don’t want money.
Greg D’you not believe in money either?
Martha I’m – I’m sorry; I don’t know what Patricia told you –
Greg Martha: calm it down. Just hear me out. That’s all I’m asking.
Martha I understand that, but I don’t want to waste your time, that’s all.
Greg Maybe we should head somewhere else?
Martha What?
Greg I know a great Mexican place literally hundred yards away.
Martha I don’t want to eat Mexican food with you.
Greg Why not?
Martha Because I don’t want to.
Greg It’s on the firm.
Martha I’m not hungry.
Greg Coffee then.
Martha I find you strange and I don’t like the way you talk about Patricia.
Greg What?
Martha You’re strange, you’re weird – You touched my hair when I arrived which was a strange thing to do –
Greg Martha, mate.
He takes a hold of Martha.
Martha Please don’t touch me.
Greg Martha – Martha – Seriously –
Martha If you touch me again I’ll break your fingers. I’m serious, I’ll break your fingers and then I’ll walk off, I’ll walk off and no one will know it was me who did it.
Greg Mate, fuck’s sake, calm it down.
Martha No, you calm it down. Goodbye, Greg. I hope we never see each other again.
Greg Jesus, what a cunt.
Harvey Come again?
Michael A road trip.
Harvey Okay.
Michael You and me. You and me, we go see Evelyn, and we show her the brain.
Harvey Evelyn Einstein?
Michael Evelyn Einstein.
Harvey You wanna show –
Michael I wanna show Evelyn Einstein the brain. I called her, Doc. I called her up and I told her ’bout you, ’bout the conversations you and I had been having, and she said, ‘Okay: tell me more.’ So I did, I said, I said, I said, ‘Look: it’s all bullshit. All of it. You wanna know the truth? Thomas Harvey is a decent guy. Now how do I know that? Because I met the guy and we ate sushi together, that’s how I know.’
Harvey Michael –
Michael I wanna write about the whole history. Not some shitty, tell-all bullshit piece o’ junk; we’re talking reportage, Doc.
Harvey You curse too much.
Michael I wanna write about family, about heritage; about science.
Harvey You wanna innerview me?
Michael In part, sure. I wan’ us to spend some time together. I wanna get to know you, Doc.
Harvey What you see is what you get, Michael.
Michael Bullshit.
Harvey We oughta get you some soap.
Michael Listen. I know you don’t like talkin’ about it, and I respect that. I do. But, okay, look, here’s the thing: next year is gonna be the fortieth anniversary of the professor’s death.
Harvey (beat) Huh.
Michael Y’see what I’m sayin’? It’s a great time, Doc.
Harvey You spoke to Evelyn?
Michael You better believe it.
Harvey Called her up?
Michael Called her up.
Harvey She still livin’ in Albany?
Michael Berkeley.
Harvey Berkeley?
Michael Exactly.
Harvey Hell of a distance.
Michael Exactly.
Harvey Lotta gas.
Michael Well –
Harvey That’s some expenditure.
Michael The magazine’ll cover it.
Harvey The magazine …?
Michael Sure. I gotta run it past my editor, but sure.
Harvey Huh.
Michael Y’see what I’m saying? Harper’s, Doc; we’re talking quality.
Harvey Huh.
Michael Listen, take some time to think about it.
Jon Henry, I’d like to introduce you to someone. This is Sharon.
Henry I’m not …
Sharon Hello Henry.
Jon Henry –
Henry I’m sick of having this argument wi
th myself.
Jon Henry, Sharon works at Queen’s Square. In London.
Sharon I’m a brain donation nurse.
Henry I am sick and tired of having this same argument over and over –
Jon Okay, Henry –
Henry I am asking you to stay out of my way.
Jon Understood.
Jon moves himself and Sharon out of Henry’s eyeline.
Jon and Sharon deliberately wait … and then re-engage with Henry.
Hello Henry. Henry, I’d like to introduce you to someone.
Sharon Hello Henry, I’m Sharon.
Henry We haven’t met before, have we?
Sharon No.
Henry I have trouble remembering things you see.
Sharon I know. It’s why I wanted to come and speak to you.
Jon You’re famous, Henry.
Henry I’m …
Sharon Neurological royalty.
Henry No, I’m …
Sharon You’re a very important person, Henry.
Jon VIP.
Henry I’m no good to anyone.
Jon Don’t be ridiculous; we’d all be out of a job if it weren’t for you.
Sharon Which is why I wanted to come and talk to you about tissue donation. Do you –
Henry No, I’m no good to … I’m in the way. I’m in the way. I’m in the way.
Jon Okay –
Henry suddenly shoves Jon, a burst of raw aggression; Jon is understandably taken aback.
Henry Where is she? WHERE IS SHE? You’re lying to me –
Jon Nobody is –
Henry You are lying to me, you are, you are lying, and you are –
Jon Henry, I need you to try and –
Henry again shoves Jon.
Henry Stay out of my way.
Jon Understood.
Henry Stay out of my way.
Jon raises his hands; a peaceful gesture.
Henry is very upset all of a sudden. The following might not be entirely audible.
I’m going to kill myself I’m going to kill myself if I, if I …
Jon …
Henry (to Sharon) Margaret.
Jon Henry, this is Sharon.
Sharon Hello Henry.
Henry Hello my love …
Jon No, Henry, this is Sharon.
Martha Anthony?
Anthony We met at a party. That’s the good thing about the first year of undergraduate study, you get to interact with students from other subjects. I went outside to have a cigarette. I asked her what her subject was and she said physics. She was quite drunk, we both were.