The Reconstruction of Cyprian

by Michelle Love

  CAMILLA

  “Lemon! Lemon! Lemon!” I screech, once I manage to twist my head enough the woman has to stop her kiss.

  “Lemon?” Cyprian asks as if he’s completely surprised. “You’re not in any pain, are you?”

  “You mother fucker!” I shout. “Get her off me and get me out of these fucking cuffs!”

  The woman scrambles off me. “She’s mad, Cyprian. This was a bad idea.”

  “Mad doesn’t begin to describe what the hell I am,” I say with a low tone to try to get some kind of control over the emotions that are rushing through me like a tidal wave.

  “Baby,” Cyprian says with a soothing tone to his deep voice.

  “Shut up!” I shriek. “Get me out of these things!”

  Finally, I feel him unlocking the handcuffs. With one hand, free, I pull the blindfold off and see the other woman, a small blonde, standing in a corner. She has on the same thing I do and I see Cyprian is still in those blue pajama bottoms.

  He’s leaning over me to release the other handcuff and as soon as he does, I slap the shit out of him. “Fuck you, you pervert!” I roll off the bed as he looks at me with a stunned expression and a red hand print, whelping up on his face. A face that did look handsome to me but now sends anger through me so intense I’ve never experienced the likes of before.

  “Cami?” he asks as I run toward the bathroom. “Cami, you liked it.”

  “Shut up!” I scream at him and slam into the bathroom and turn on the shower to nearly scalding hot.

  Ripping the little negligee off, I throw it at the wastebasket and get into the steaming hot shower and grab the shampoo, filling my hand with it and rubbing it all over my hair, face, and body. All the while I’m screaming and can’t manage to stop doing that.

  The bathroom door opens, somehow. I did lock it, I’m sure I did.

  “Cami, baby,” he says with a little cooing sound. “You liked…”

  “I’m going to kill you! Get out!” I scream so loud I’m sure people can hear me from a mile away.

  He laughs. The mother fucker is fucking laughing at me and I come completely unglued and jump out of the shower and tackle his ass. I scratch, bite, and punch him everywhere I can.

  I can still hear him laughing and it infuriates me even further. “Camilla Petit, calm the hell down.” More chuckles follow his words and I can’t believe him.

  Worn out, I get off him as I’ve managed to knock him to the floor and have straddled him, buck naked as I am, and find myself weak and full of sadness. Tears start flowing like rivers and I get off him and get back in the shower to rinse the soap off me.

  I can’t look at him. I can’t talk to him. He’s sick.

  “Cami,” he says, soothingly as he gets in the shower with me, as he’s taken off his PJ bottoms. His arms go around me and I bat them away.

  “Don’t, Cyprian,” I cry out at him. “You need to get away from me. We’re done.”

  “No, we’re not, Cami. I just went further, faster than you were ready for, that’s all. I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t know you’d react so badly to that. You were liking it.”

  Then my stomach churns and turns and I am puking my guts up. Holding myself up with the tiled wall, I vomit until there’s nothing left inside me. Cyprian holds my hair back and rubs my shoulders.

  I look up at him through tear-filled eyes and can’t believe he’d do such a thing to me. “I trusted you,” I croak. “And you did that to me. I can never trust you again. Not ever. We’re done. I don’t even want to be your friend anymore. You’re sick.”

  He rolls his eyes and smiles at me. “I am not sick. Tons of people do things like that. And once you watch the video, you’ll see how much you enjoyed it. And I did too. Watching you getting off like that…”

  I dry heave again as he talks about what just happened as if it was a beautiful thing. When I manage to stop, I look at him again. “I’m leaving. I’m not watching that.”

  “Are you a homophobe, Cami?” he asks with a deep chuckle.

  Shaking my head, I slip out of his grasp, thanks to the water on my skin, and get out to grab a towel and wrap it around me. “I am not anything like that. What people do is their business. You did that to me without asking me about it. That’s unforgivable.”

  He turns off the water and gets out of the shower and wraps a towel around his waist then reaches out and pulls me into his arms. “I can’t let you go. You’re mad right now and there’s no way I can let you leave. We’ll have a few drinks and…”

  I scream and he stops talking. “I am leaving and you are to leave me the hell alone. I’ve never been so upset in my life. If I had a gun, you’d be dead already.”

  He looks shocked I’ve said that and lets me go. “You know what? Fucking leave then! You fucking liked that and you fucking know it! Your little act of being Miss Goody-Two-Shoes isn’t a thing I’m buying. You liked what I did to you and you liked what I had done to you. So, fucking leave if you want to!”

  I’m left in his bathroom, stunned and amazed, as he storms out. My clothes are in here, so I put them back on and run my hands through my wet hair then try to gather my strength to walk out the door and most likely find him fucking that other woman.

  Closing my eyes, I leave the bathroom and walk into his room. I find him lying in his bed and don’t see the other woman in the room. “Where is she?”

  He doesn’t even look at me as he says, “I sent her home. She was worried you’d try to beat her up.”

  “I’m not even upset with the poor woman. She was only doing what you paid her to do. I’m upset, no scratch that, upset is too small of a word, I’m furious at you, Cyprian. And you don’t seem to care at all.” I stand still and watch him as he closes his eyes.

  “Camilla, I will say this only one more time. You said you trusted me to make you feel good and I did. End of argument.” He opens his eyes and looks at me then picks up the remote from the nightstand and presses a button. I see the large television screen that’s hung on the opposite wall, light up.

  On the large screen, it’s me on the bed and my stomach lurches. “Cyprian,” I say as I turn to walk away.

  “Come here, Camilla,” he orders me.

  I turn back and look at him with my heart full of sadness. He was a man I put my trust in and he has hurt me more than he can understand.

  The sound is turned up and I hear myself on the television panting and moaning as the other woman kisses my intimate areas. “I can’t believe you expect me to be okay with what you did. It speaks volumes about the real man you are. You are a sexual deviant wrapped in a very pretty package. You can think I am one too and just trying to hide it. I wanted to be with you. Not anyone else. I was giving myself to you. Not another person, woman or man. I let my inhibitions go with you, and I only ever meant to do that with just you. And you went and took the trust I placed in you and misused it. Goodbye, Cyprian. I’m not a woman who will be ordered around or used. We are done.”

  I walk away and as my hand touches the doorknob, I hear him say, “Please, don’t go.”

  I stand there for a long moment as I think about the man and all he’s been through and how he’s so different than I am. I think how he must’ve meant something else by what he did. But when it comes down to it, I cannot allow myself to trust the man. I cannot allow my morals to be corrupted by him and if I stay with him, he will surely corrupt every part of me.

  Twisting the doorknob, I leave him, saying nothing else because there are no words that can make it right. The trust is gone and without that, you have nothing.

  If this is the right thing to do, why the hell does it hurt so damn bad…

  Chapter 2

  CYPRIAN

  Watching her walk away from me, again, is so much harder than it was before. I know she can be what I want but her damn morals are in her way.

  I turn my attention back to the television and watch her being very pleased with what was happening to her and have no idea why she freaked out. I
t wasn’t until the other woman kissed her on the mouth that she wanted things to stop.

  Some women don’t like that and perhaps I should’ve gotten to know Cami and her hidden sexual wants better before I brought the other woman into play. I wasn’t going to have sex with the other woman, I merely wanted Cami to get to feel the soft touch of another woman. Almost every woman I’ve been with, liked that.

  I watch the television and can see her body go tense as soon as their lips meet. She wrenches her head, making their kiss end and then she’s screaming the safe word and my expression is one of confusion.

  When I was taking her cuffs off, I wasn’t able to see her face. Now that I can, I see she was disgusted and somewhat hurt. Then her hand flies back and she slaps me.

  I run my hand over my cheek and still feel the heat from the hard slap. Pulling the blanket back, I find small scratches where she clawed at me. There’s a bite mark on my arm and I find myself thinking a little differently.

  She was like a wild animal!

  Could she really have felt so upset with me for doing that? Or is she just mad because I pushed her further than she was ready for?

  I turn the television off as the scene has become anything except what I intended it to be. I bought all the clothes to match so we’d have our own little video of us. It was meant to be romantic and a keepsake.

  Pulling the blanket back up, I lie down and think about going to sleep. I need to. Work will come early in the morning and today the only thing that kept me going was my plans for tonight. With the way things turned out, on my mind, I doubt I’ll be any good at all tomorrow.

  The darkness encompasses me as I close my eyes and try to think of nothing at all. But her face keeps coming to my mind. She was clearly upset. I’m lying to myself about her being anything less than disgusted with me.

  Is she going to stick to being done with me? Can she really end it, just like that? Will she end it?

  I can’t take her words at the moment, as she was angry and most words spoken in anger are taken back, eventually. Maybe tomorrow will have her seeing things differently.

  If the shoe were on the other foot and she had me tied up and blindfolded and brought in another man, secretly, and had him do the exact same things to me, how would I take it?

  I lie here and imagine that and feel my stomach wrap in on itself. Yes, that would be uncool in my book. But women are different. I’ve watched countless women get off on each other’s touch. Cami will come around. She has to.

  But what if she doesn’t?

  What will I have to do to win her back again…

  Chapter 3

  CAMILLA

  The smell of bleach fills my nostrils as I empty out the mop bucket. “Gina, you don’t understand. I can’t tell you why I broke it off with him. It’s too ugly.”

  She looks at me with a frown. “How ugly could it be? The man looks like a Roman God. He’d have to do something very wrong for me to end things with the likes of him. Add in all that money, and you have a gold mine right there, honey. And, for some reason, you just keep on walking out on him. Are you sure you’re not legally insane?” She laughs and I’m finally sick of hearing her go on and on about how great Cyprian is and how dumb I am.

  Placing the empty mop bucket in the corner, where it goes, I walk around the corner and scan the store to make sure no one is in it. Looking back at her, I say, “So, you want to hear the terrible thing he did to me?”

  She nods and tosses the rag she was drying dishes with, in the sink and comes to me with wide eyes and open ears. “Tell me about it.”

  “He had me handcuffed to his bed and blindfolded,” I say.

  She laughs and shakes her head. “Honey, that’s fun!”

  Shaking my head, I say, “No, that’s not the part I had a problem with. You see, the night before, he showed me some things about the way he likes to be intimate and I liked them too. I liked them a lot and maybe he got the wrong idea about me. Maybe he got the idea that I was a slut and he could do anything he wanted to me. I don’t know. All I know is the man went too far.”

  “Like what?” she asks as her eyes go even wider. “Did he beat you with whips or chains? My first husband was into that and I liked it at first then it got old.”

  “No, he didn’t do that. I kind of half-ass expected that and was prepared for something along those lines. No, what he did was worse. He violated my trust,” I say as I can’t seem to get the words to come out of my mouth.

  “How’d he do that, Camilla?” she asks. “Did he hurt you, physically?”

  “No,” I say then walk away to find my cup of coffee.

  She follows me to the checkout counter and seems to be confused. “He simply violated your trust, you say. But tell me how he did that.”

  I find my stomach knotting up as I recall it all and have to run to the bathroom. “I’m going to be sick.”

  Gina waits and says, “My God! What did he do to you?”

  I barely make it to the bathroom before it all comes up. Everything I’ve eaten all day, which wasn’t much as my appetite has been non-existent. Splashing water on my face, I look at my reflection and want to cry.

  I see the same woman I was yesterday at this time but I know I’m different now. I’m a woman who has been with another woman. When people ask, I will have to say that I’ve dabbled in that department and that makes me furious at Cyprian. That should’ve been my call, not his!

  I’m not going to lie and say it didn’t feel good, what she did to me. But I thought it was him the whole time and that’s where my head is all fucked up. My heart is pounding and I lean against the wall to stop myself from hyperventilating as I’m breathing hard and fast. “Stop. Calm down.”

  Finally, I manage to catch my breath and go back out into the store. Several customers have come in and I see Gina waiting on one of them. A nice-looking man comes up to me and asks, “Excuse me, do you keep the condoms behind the counter or something? I can’t find any out on the shelves.

  Anger boils up inside of me and I shout, “Pervert!” Then I spin around and go to the walk-in cooler and try to stop shaking with the anger that’s consuming me.

  Tears well up and I can’t stop them. I run out of the cooler, going to the counter and grab my things and leave the store without saying a word because I can’t talk right now.

  Everyone is watching me as I haul ass to my car and then I stop, dead in my tracks as Cyprian is standing next to it. I look around and don’t see any of his cars. He’s gotten dropped off, so I have to take him home. “No!” I turn around and start running.

  I have no idea where I’m going but I’m running like the wind to get away from him. He’s not going to pull me back down to where he’s at. I’m not going!

  Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrap around me, stopping me. “Hey there. What’s wrong?”

  I blink to try to get some of the tears out of my eyes and when I can see, I see it’s the guy who asked me out once. “Sorry, I have to go.” I look over my shoulder and see Cyprian coming my way.

  “Hold her for me, will you?” he calls out to the man holding my arms.

  “Oh my God,” I say under my breath. “Please let me go. Don’t let him get me.”

  “Did he do something to you, Camilla?” the guy asks me and I nod.

  This guy is nowhere nearly as built as Cyprian and I get afraid for him, immediately when he says, “Hold up there, buddy. He says you did something to her.”

  I cower into the man’s chest and pray he decides to let me go, so I can run away from Cyprian. A few more people circle around us as the guy has brought more attention to us all.

  Cyprian gets close enough to whisper, “Are you happy now, Cami? You’ve caused a scene with your theatrics.” He puts his hand on my shoulder. “Come on.”

  I look up at the man with terror in my eyes. “Don’t let him take me. Please.”

  He looks at Cyprian. “Tell you what. Why don’t you leave her alone for a while? It seems you two have
had a fight or something and she needs to calm down.”

  “Cami, come on,” Cyprian says again. “You know I’ve never hurt you and I never will. Now come on. Stop being so dramatic. We need to talk.”

  Gina comes outside and shouts, “Should I call the cops, Camilla?”

  “Should she?” Cyprian asks me. “Or should you stop being crazy?”

  Now he’s made me mad and I find my backbone straightening as my courage builds. “You know what, you’re right.” I look around at everyone that’s gathered around us. “Come on, Cyprian, I’m taking you home.”

  “That’s better,” he says as the guy lets me go and Cyprian and I walk, side by side, to my car.

  Gina’s looking at me with confusion. “You going home, Camilla?”

  “I am. Clock me out, please. I have some business to take care of.”

  She gives me a nod and I walk away with the man who doesn’t realize he’s about to get his ass handed to him. His arm runs around my shoulders as he leans in close. “You had me worried, baby.”

  “You should be,” I say as I unlock the passenger door and open it for him then walk around to get into the driver’s seat. He looks at me with an odd expression then gets into the car.

  I suppose he thinks he can handle me but he’s far from being right. I slip into the seat and start the car up and leave the parking lot, nice and slow. The group of people is still lingering around, to make sure things are okay, I’m sure.

  “Cami, I couldn’t think about anything today except for the fact you’re mad at me,” he says and puts his hand over mine.

  I move it after I change to fourth gear and shake my head. “I don’t care.”

  “You must,” he says as he reaches up and pulls the rubber band, that’s holding my hair in a ponytail, out. My hair cascades over my shoulders and he takes a lock of it and pulls it to his nose, taking a sniff. “I missed this scent this morning when I woke up, alone.”

  I don’t bother to speak as I’m mentally preparing myself for what I’m going to say to get him to understand, we are through. The gate comes up and I punch in the code and in we go.