Island Souls

by Susie Cass

  JJ gave their team a name. The Nightramblers. All the teams on Sea Quest were named after renowned pirate ships. Blending nicely with the whole pirate theme. Tacky really, but the viewing public seemed to lap it up. And Rosa was one of those people who’d been suckered in, so she couldn’t really pass judgement on whether the show was pure kitsch or not.

  JJ wished them all luck, his voice nearly drowned out in the cacophony of meeting and greeting their new teammates. Rosa twisted her head around so she could glance in his direction and saw his dark eyes watching her. Astute. Brooding. Assessing her. And something else. Was that regret she saw? Goosebumps rose up all over her skin at the intensity of that gaze. Then he turned and was gone, leaving the new teams to work out their next move. Her eyes followed him as he got into the small boat pulled up on the white sand and sped off over the aqua waves. The boat’s wake left a surge of white wavelets that danced over the surface of the ocean.

  The show’s motto was, between deception and survival lies redemption. Rosa wondered if this motto might perhaps be a little prophetic. After all, she was looking for redemption, in whatever form it might come to her.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  JJ rubbed the back of his neck. It was late. Really late. Early morning was probably more accurate. He leaned in and switched the large monitor on the desk in front of him off. Staring out the window he tried to focus on the dark shapes of the coconut palms that surrounded the hut, but his eyes remained fuzzy, the night-time vista blurry. He blinked a couple of times, but it didn’t help. The image of a pale oval face framed by a halo of dark hair remained fixed in his mind’s eye. That face pierced him like a knife-strike to the guts every time he watched the replay. He gripped the edge of the desk with his large hands, knuckles strained, staring at the now blank screen, willing the image away.

  He liked to review all the cameramen’s footage every night before he went to sleep. There’d been some great stuff from tonight’s conclave. It’d been a double hanging, pirate speak meaning both teams had to vote someone off. Each contestant walked through the hangman’s noose – a stylised rope noose as large as a doorway – before they were ejected from island. The fans were going to lap this up when it finally aired on TV.

  After watching the replay, he had to admit this year’s set was amazing. Every year the crew seemed to come up with bigger and better ideas for this show. He had to hand it to the creative director, Damien; he was a whiz at this. No wonder they paid him the big bucks. All of the conclaves were held on a huge wooden platform, built at treetop height. There were authentic large metal pots scattered in the corners, set with fires deep in their bellies, acting as eerie light-sources. There were sets of odd-sized wooden chests, all with gold coins and jewellery spilling from them. Jolly Roger flags flew from poles and other pirate totems, cutlasses, tricorn hats and even a tall mast with square sails, were set haphazardly around the fringes of the platform. It was all very rustic and Pirates of the Caribbean. During the day the view was spectacular from the platform, and JJ loved to stand near the guard rail and watch the sun set over the ocean, just before the contestants came up the stairs to start the conclave. It was his five minutes of peace, a haven from the swirling madness of days filled with filming.

  Shaking his head, JJ tried to think of something—anything else—except the piercing look in Rosa’s eyes as she disappeared down the stairs at the end of tonight’s conclave. He could hardly believe they were into day twelve already. This season was flying by. He stood up and stretched his arms over his head, emitting a jaw-shattering yawn. He needed some sleep. It’d be another early start in the morning. Making sure he locked the door to the production hut behind him, his feet found the pathway even in the darkness. Everyone else from the crew would most probably be in bed by now. Except perhaps Nigel, the director, who never seemed to sleep, and the cameramen who were on duty at both the beach camps ready to film any night-time goings on.

  His hut was the last in the row, closest to the ocean and the soothing sound of the crashing waves. Letting his feet lead him forward, he couldn’t help it, his mind kept going back to the last few scenes he’d just watched.

  JJ stood in the corner of the platform and said, ‘Nightrebels come on in.’ The other team, the Dawnbreakers had already voted out one of their members. But as the winning team, they’d been allowed the compensation of eating a large banquet of hamburgers, while watching the Nightrebels vote out their team member. A hush had fallen over the stage as everyone watched the Nightrebels enter, broken only by the rustle of jungle leaves whipped by a growing wind. A line of glowing firebrands wound up the stairs announcing the team one by one. It was hard to make out individual faces, hidden in the shadows cast by the flickering flames. But JJ remembered vividly seeing Rosa’s slim form glide up the steps and onto the stage. He’d tried to wrest his gaze away from her. And he thought he’d been successful in doing so. But he’d watched himself carefully in the footage and his heart had dropped. There was no doubt his hungry gaze stayed overly long, fixed on her. He’d have to ask the editor to cut that bit out, sprout some kind of bullshit about the camera angle being wrong, or that the camera needed to stay on the contestants for this particular scene and not on him.

  Jesus, he was going to have to get better control over himself. He was a fucking SEAL, for Christ’s sake. He knew how to keep a poker face better than most. So why did his hard-earned facade crack whenever she was around?

  Rosa had taken a seat next to Hayden and a slow burn had started in the pit of JJ’s stomach at the sight of her. Hayden said something to Rosa, a smile on his face and then he reached out and touched her knee, as if in commiseration at something she’d said in reply. An instinctive snarl had curled JJ’s mouth up at the corners and he’d seen himself on film, struggling internally not to let that twist of his lips show to the rest of the world. To anyone else watching he was pretty sure his internal turmoil wasn’t obvious. Shit, he hoped it wasn’t obvious.

  As the contestants had taken their seats at the conclave the storm, which had been brewing all evening finally let loose, lashing the platform with rivers of monsoonal rain. Even JJ wasn’t safe from the ravages of the storm, his tree-trunk chair just as unprotected as the Nightrebels’ team benches. He was soon soaked to the skin, his expensive shirt plastered to his chest and his hat drooping over his forehead. But he welcomed the rain. Let it cool the flames of jealousy rising in his chest. He’d never been one to let jealousy rule him before. So his confusion and horror at the fact he could be jealous over a woman he hardly knew was overwhelming. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t seem to put a damper on that uncontrollable fire. All it took was for him to see Hayden even glance in Rosa’s direction and he wanted to growl like a bloody jungle animal.

  The professionalism he’d fostered over the past six years as host of this show helped to keep him on autopilot, hammering team Nightrebels with question after question. And from the footage, nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary with him. The fact that the storm was having an adverse effect on the Nightrebels—they looked like a string of lost children sitting in front of an angry principal—should keep the viewers focus firmly on them. And not on him.

  JJ reached his hut and fumbled in his pocket for the key. Finally letting himself in, he dropped his hat on the table next to the door. Without bothering to turn on the light, he collapsed on the bed, fully clothed and lay there on his back, staring at the ceiling.

  What was he going to do?

  How the hell was this woman fucking with his head so easily? If only he didn’t have to keep seeing her all day, every day on the footage, then perhaps he might be able to get her out of his system. The problem was, the one thing he needed to do—which was to stop watching her on re-run night after night—was the one thing he couldn’t do. It was part of his job to screen each minute, each second of film for accuracy, to make sure the viewers were getting their full enjoyment out of every second of the high-drama series. And it was exquisite tortur
e. Because Rosa was there, in full technicolour, larger than life on the screen. He saw that pixie smile light up the beach when Jason Paige told one of his terrible jokes. He got to watch her tell her stories about her life. But unlike all the other contestants, he couldn’t seem to stay detached from her plight. From how the ravages of the show were affecting her personally. As if he were falling in love with her while he watched her on the screen. Which he knew was impossible.

  Turning onto his side, he emitted a groan and then got up and started pacing the small room. He was never going to get to sleep tonight. His phone pinged with a text in his pocket. He couldn’t be bothered finding out who it was from. Not this late at night. But the thought reminded him of something else.

  Shit. He’d forgotten to ring Lola tonight. Again. His ex-wife wouldn’t let him forget it, either. He liked to talk to his two girls on the phone every couple of nights. And they loved to hear what he was up to when he was on site shooting a series. Tasheka, at thirteen, probably wouldn’t notice so much that he hadn’t rung. She was more interested in what Dylan said to Daniella on Snapchat. Social media was her whole world right now, and he was becoming more than a little worried about it. But ten year old Anya would know he hadn’t rung.

  He ran a hand over his shaved head. He was an idiot sometimes. He needed to get a grip, stop tormenting himself with Rosa, and get his life back on track.

  He’d ring the girls first thing tomorrow morning, before they went to school. Hopefully Lola wouldn’t get all high and mighty with him, all why can’t you call at a decent time, you’re always disrupting their routine, and at least let him talk to them for a few minutes each. He really missed them. It wasn’t their fault he and Lola couldn’t stay married. He needed to make it up to them somehow. When he got back from this island, that’s exactly what he’d do.

  CHAPTER SIX

  Today had been one crazy roller-coaster ride. Even crazier than normal. A double hanging. Both teams voting someone out. It was huge. So huge Rosa’s mind refused to turn off now and let her get some sleep.

  She snuggled in closer to Hayden’s back. She’d been lying awake for hours. Everyone else was asleep, all lined up along the platform like kittens in a row. She was nestled between Hayden and Susan. At least she wasn’t on the end tonight. It was always colder out there. A light misting rain was keeping everything damp and cool. Thank god Nightrebels had won a large tarp and some blankets in one of the reward knockouts a few days ago, so at least their shelter was dry and relatively warm. A palm frond rasped against her side and she had to wiggle to squash it down. She’d never in a thousand years have thought palm fronds would become a source of comfort, but they certainly added a nice layer of padding between her and the hard bamboo floor of their shelter. If only they weren’t so prone to sticking her in the stomach.

  ‘What’s the matter,’ Hayden mumbled, his voice thick with sleep.

  ‘Just a pesky palm frond,’ she replied.

  ‘Do you want my spot? I’ll move if you like.’ A surge of affection heated her chest for this wonderful man lying next to her. That he was prepared to give up his warm, comfortable spot for her was just so … Hayden.

  ‘Thanks, hon,’ she said, draping a hand on his shoulder. ‘But I’m good. I’m just restless after tonight, that’s all. You go back to sleep,’ she soothed. He grunted and pulled her hand beneath his arm so he could keep it tucked against his chest. The fabric of his shirt tickled her palm and she snuggled in closer, resting her cheek against his back.

  Theirs was an odd relationship. She was sure everyone who watched this show on TV would think she and Hayden were having a fling. But they’d be completely and utterly wrong. Well, wrong in the sense there was no sexual chemistry between her and Hayden. It was all completely platonic. From both sides. She was sure Hayden felt exactly the same way. This game stretched normality almost to breaking point, made her do things she’d never dream of doing if she was back in the real world. She’d never had a really good male friend before. But out here, things were different. Everything had more weight, more gravitas. Relationships were formed more quickly, became more intense. She really hoped she could remain friends with Hayden outside the game.

  At tonight’s double hanging they’d voted Phoebe out. Thank god. That woman had been hard work. Whiny and needy and just not cut out for the rigours of Sea Quest. Her thoughts turned to JJ as he sat questioning the team. The rain had really started to pelt down during the conclave, and JJ was just as prone to the elements as the rest of them. But he’d stuck to his chair, water running in rivulets off the front of his trendy black hat, his shirt plastered to his skin. Outlining every muscle, every curve of his biceps and pecs. Rosa couldn’t help herself, she’d drunk her fill, running her hungry gaze over his body while he talked to Jason about why it was so important for people to contribute to camp life in this game. He looked so good, even soaking wet. Nothing seemed to ruffle him, not raging storms, not the heat of midday tropical sunshine. Not even when Phoebe stood up and started throwing angry words at him, as if her imminent eviction was all his fault. He was the eye of the storm. Is that what drew her to him?

  Her stomach rumbled loudly. She tried to ignore it.

  ‘You and me both,’ mumbled Hayden, amusement in his voice.

  ‘I know,’ she whispered back. ‘I never thought someone could get this hungry in just twelve days.’ Her stomach felt like it was collapsing in on itself.

  ‘Rice and beans just don’t cut it,’ he replied. ‘What I wouldn’t do for a huge hamburger just to appear in front of me right now.’

  ‘Yeah, I don’t reckon rice keeps me full for even an hour after I eat,’ she agreed. The team tried to share out the food fairly, which meant the bigger guys got slightly more than the smaller women, like herself. It was a wonder any of them were still able to function. Being hungry all the time made both mental and physical tasks that much harder to do.

  ‘We need to learn to fish,’ she grumbled. No one in their team had mastered the art of catching fish yet. It didn’t help they had no proper fishing equipment. Jason had tried to cobble together a hook and some twine from bits and pieces they’d found on the beach, but nothing worked so far.

  ‘I heard the Dawnbreakers are catching heaps of fish.’ There was obvious envy in Hayden’s tone.

  ‘Yeah, well they’ve got some proper fishing gear,’ she replied, equally as envious. ‘Remember, on that very first day, back at the corral? That girl, Cilla found some.’

  ‘Yeah,’ he grunted and then shuffled a little to find a more comfortable spot on the fronds. ‘Goodnight,’ he whispered again.

  ’Sleep tight,’ she returned, patting his chest with her hand. But her mind still wouldn’t entertain sleep. Instead schools of fish swam around in her head. Fillets of fish sizzling in a hot pan, the butter turning a golden brown, a light sprinkling of salt and pepper to season the white flesh. The imaginary smell of frying seafood filled her nostrils. Pure torture.

  She needed to think about something other than food. Her mind automatically flipped back to her last glimpse of JJ as she’d stepped down off the platform tonight. Knowing even without having to look, his gaze was boring into her back. So she turned her head, just for an instant, to try and see if she could catch him off guard, see what he was really thinking behind those carefully schooled eyes. She’d planned on giving him a small secret smile, but had been shocked by the raw, naked yearning she’d seen, just for a spilt-second, written all over his face. A flash of reaction, both boiling hot and freezing cold all at the same time had run over her skin. That chemistry … or whatever it was happening between them, was definitely still there. Getting stronger, not diminishing as she’d thought.

  What did JJ think of her friendship with Hayden? Did he realise how much she needed someone she could rely on out here. A shoulder to lean on, someone to make her laugh, to help her get through each torturous day.

  Perhaps it was a good thing, her and Hayden spending so much time together. I
t’d deflect any attention away from the secret glances she and JJ were exchanging, direct the spotlight firmly towards Hayden. No one would even suspect she had feelings for JJ if she spent every night in Hayden’s arms. The more she thought about the idea, the more she liked it. A fool proof plan to keep her feelings for JJ well and truly hidden.

  But how would JJ react? Was he the jealous type? Probably not, he was way too self-controlled to allow a shallow emotion like jealousy rule his world. And perhaps she was imagining this whole thing with JJ anyway. Perhaps it was all terribly one-sided and she was making a complete fool of herself. Which was an even better reason to keep up the pretence that something was going on between her and Hayden.

  The rain had been getting heavier while she’d been rolling her problems around in her mind and now there were flashes of light sparking far out at sea. Lifting her head slightly, she stared in wonder at the show the tropical storm was putting on. Then thunder grumbled loud and near and Rosa had to stifle a laugh. Her grandmother used to say the thunder was only grumbling because it’d been left behind by the lightening.