With my plate of spaghetti with sauce from a jar, I plopped down on the couch and switched the television on. I still had a little time before the show in Times Square started, so I turned on reruns of Criminal Minds while I waited.
Jax texted me throughout the night and sent me pictures once the show started. It was cool watching the guys on TV. I still hadn’t really gotten used to it, even though just the other night they’d been on Jimmy. As unreal and impressive as the show was on screen, I knew it still didn’t compare to being there. Live, they were just something else altogether. They really made you feel the energy and music all the way down to your bones. Their stage presence captivated the audience to the point that nothing else existed for that hour or two.
At midnight the ball dropped and everyone in Times Square went nuts, the camera flashed over couples kissing and friends embracing. It zoomed in on Jax and Ky sharing a New Year kiss, and then Spade leaping off the stage and kissing just about every girl in sight. I laughed and then when the camera flashed over to Ace he just winked at the camera and blew a kiss. I’m sure all of the girls in America watching wanted to pretend that kiss was for them, but I knew it was mine, and it made me feel marginally better.
Not long after, my phone rang, and when I answered I could hear all of the background noise around him. It was hard to hear anything else so we only stayed on the phone long enough to say we loved each other and for him to tell me he would be home the next night. Even though I’d gotten to talk to him, I still went to bed feeling disappointed and a little lonely that I had missed out on sharing the night with my friends and the guy I loved.
Sometime later I heard my phone going off again. I reached my hand over to the night stand and felt around for it, but it stopped ringing before I could find it. That was fine with me, I didn’t want to talk to anyone. It had to be two or three in the morning. Nobody should have been calling me anyway. I had just started to fall back asleep when my phone started ringing again. This time I groaned and sat up before reaching for the phone. When I picked it up off the nightstand I saw that it was Caitlyn calling. Instantly that sent me into a panic. I couldn’t think of any reason for her to call this late unless something was wrong. I quickly did the math in my head and realized it was just after midnight there, still that was late for a call from her.
I don’t remember much of what came after I answered the phone. I heard the words Mia and crash and hospital, and then everything else was a blur. Somehow I managed to pull myself out of the bed and start throwing things into a bag, but I was so out of it, I don’t even know what I packed. At some point I must have called Ace. I don’t really remember talking to him the first time in my rush to pack and book a flight on my phone, but when he called back a few minutes later, he was telling me that they were all on their way home and that he had made flight arrangements for us. He stayed on the phone with me for a long time trying to calm me down and get as much information out of me as he could.
Unfortunately the soonest they could get back would be about seven, and that was still hours away. I didn’t like the helpless feeling that was overwhelming me. There was nothing I could do but sit around and wait. Wait for Ace to get home, wait for a flight, wait to hear from my family.
When I finally heard from Cait again, I let her know what time I would be landing in Seattle and tried to find out more about Mia’s condition now that I was in a more coherent state.
She’d gone out with friends, there had been drinking and drug use was suspected as well. I didn’t know if Mia had been on anything, but they were pretty sure that her friend Lexi, who had been behind the wheel, was high on something. There’d been an accident. It was bad. Lexi hadn’t been wearing a seat belt. Lexi hadn’t made it. Mia had been up front in the passenger seat and thank God she’d had the sense to wear hers even though she hadn’t had the sense not to get into that damn car. She was in bad shape. That was all Cait could tell me. They didn’t know anymore. They were playing the waiting game as well, waiting on doctors.
After making arrangements to meet them at the hospital as soon as our flight landed, I hung up and called Ace again to fill him in. I don’t know if he understood a word between my sobs, but his reassuring voice just kept coming over the line, telling me it would be okay, that Mia would be okay.
Just before it was time to leave for the airport, I heard the front door open downstairs. “Sadie!” Ace’s voice called out. I jumped from my bed and hurried down the stairs, throwing myself into his arms as soon as he came into view. I was glad not everyone was with him to witness me crumble to pieces there in the living room. Jax and Ky were there, and Jax was waiting to pull me into her arms as soon as Ace released me. Again they both offered words of comfort, but they did nothing to alleviate my fears. Thousands of miles across the country from me, my baby sister was lying in the hospital and nobody could really tell me if she was going to be okay.
Ace had pulled strings with their label and managed to get us on a private flight that would take off as soon as we could get to the airport. I was glad I wouldn’t have to go alone. The only thing that would’ve been worse than flying into this nightmare would have been flying into it alone. Jax and Ky gave us a ride and Ace held my hand the whole way. He checked us in and got us through security and then we were escorted onto the small jet.
I hated when the moment came that I had to shut my phone off. It would be over three hours before we touched down in Minneapolis to refuel, and then another almost four hours from there to Seattle. A lot could happen in those hours that my phone would have to be off. As soon as the chance arose, Ace ordered me a drink from the flight attendant to take the edge off. I could feel the panic rising again, not that it had ever really left, and I’m sure he could sense it. After I downed my drink without bothering to ask what it was, all I cared about was that it was strong, and it was, Ace urged me to try and get some sleep. Exhaustion, stress and worry were pushing my body to the brink of its limits and I knew I couldn’t take much more, so when he asked the attendant for a pillow and blanket, I reclined my seat as much as I could. He did the same, and I placed the pillow against him and rested my head on his shoulder. As soon as I shut my eyes, I felt the exhaustion take me. I didn’t fall asleep right away, my mind just wouldn’t shut off, but eventually I found rest and escaped the terrifying reality that awaited me in Seattle, for just a little while.
Ace nudged me awake when it was time to land. As soon as we were on the ground, I powered my phone on long enough to call Cait and check for updates. She didn’t have any other than Mia had come out of surgery, but her condition still wasn’t real stable. I didn’t know what that meant and she couldn’t tell me anything else. While the plane was being refueled, I had another drink and then tried to sleep again until we touched down in Seattle. Because of the time difference it wasn’t even noon yet in Washington when we did land. Harsh rain greeted us as we caught a cab to the hospital. I thought it was appropriate. Gloomy weather for a gloomy day.
Bags and all in hand, we navigated the hospital until a nurse pointed us in the right direction and then another led us to the private waiting room where the rest of my family was. There were no hugs upon my arrival. My parents didn’t rush to pull me into their arms, not even Cait or Leila stirred from their seats, but had I really expected them to? The mood in the room was somber and tense. Nobody spoke until I asked if there had been any other updates on Mia, if they knew when we could see her.
“She’s in a coma right now and still in critical condition. She’s starting to stabilize and when she does, the doctor said we could see her for a few minutes, but they don’t know when or if she’ll wake up.” My dad informed me, his voice flat, like he was reading a stock report or talking about the weather, not his youngest child. In fact, I was pretty sure I had heard him get more passionate about the stock market at some point in my life. Hearing his words was like déjà vu. It had been almost exactly three years since I’d landed in an unfamiliar city, only to be told that my
best friend that I was there to visit had been brutally stabbed and was also in the hospital in a coma that she may not wake up from. I didn’t know if I would ever be able to associate this time of year with anything but grief and sadness. Once had been enough to go through that, and yet here I was again.
Ace and I sat down in a couple of chairs and I took the time to text Jax to fill her in. There was a TV on quietly in the background. I stared at it blankly, because it was the only thing in the room that provided a distraction from the awkward silence and hostility that radiated from my family members, mostly my mother. I chose to ignore it. Emotions were high and I didn’t want to start anything here in the hospital.
It felt like hours before a doctor came in, but it was still early in the afternoon so I knew it hadn’t actually been that long. He approached my parents and gave them the news that Mia had finally stabilized and that the swelling in her brain was going down. He was hopeful that she would recover just fine in time, but he couldn’t make any guarantees and he still didn’t have a time frame for when she would wake up. He also reported that while her blood alcohol level had been just over the legal limit, she didn’t have any drugs in her system. That was good news at least, but my mother didn’t appear to agree. She wore the same sour scowl on her face the entire time the doctor was speaking. My father just nodded and thanked him before he left the room, leaving my dysfunctional family to process the information he’d given us.
My mother and father appeared to be arguing under their breath, but I couldn’t hear what was being said. My mother’s voice rose slightly, but I still couldn’t make it out. My father grabbed her arm and started to tug her to the other side of the room, but she yanked it from his grasp.
“Enough. If I want to be angry then I damned well will. That girl acted foolishly and selfishly. Her behavior has been inexcusable since she returned from visiting her,” she angrily thrust her hand in my direction. “Not that it was much better before. She’s out of control and last night just proves how much. She wasn’t thinking about how her actions would affect anyone else.” My mother was practically screeching by that point, and it came as no surprise that she was worried more about how this incident would look to her friends than her daughter’s life. “When she wakes up there will be serious consequences. She will answer for this. I won’t tolerate this anymore.”
“If,” I bit out and everyone looked at me.
“What?” My mother asked annoyed.
“Don’t you mean if? If she wakes up. I don’t know if you were listening to anything that doctor said or just too busy worrying about this family’s good name and reputation, but I’m pretty sure he said there’s a chance she might not wake up, that her condition could take a turn for the worse.”
My mother huffed, “Quit being dramatic Sadie. I won’t let you make me look like the villain here. Your sister caused all of this.”
“Dramatic?” I stood. She was un-freaking-believable. “Mia is in a coma. What part of that are you not understanding? She could actually die and you’re acting like she stole the car, went for a joy ride and got in a little fender bender. Do you even hear yourself? She’s your daughter!” I yelled and Ace stood beside me. He started to take my hand.
“Sadie, it’s okay. Don’t get yourself worked up,” he whispered in my ear, but I didn’t listen to him. I wanted to get worked up. I pulled my hand out of his and took a step closer to my mother.
“If you want to blame someone for this, look in a damned mirror, mother. Mia made a bad decision, but who do you think pushes her to act out and do that shit? Maybe if you weren’t so hard to live with, she wouldn’t feel the need to run away and drink.”
My mother gasped, but before she could start screaming at me like I knew she wanted to, my father stepped in. “Now all of us need to take a step back. There’s no need to start blaming anyone. We need to just calm down for a minute.”
“You’ve been too calm our entire lives, Dad. If anyone needs to take a step back, it’s you. You need to look around and see what’s happened to this family, if we can even call ourselves that. Mia’s hurt, really hurt Dad, and instead of all of us coming together and being there for each other, we’re fighting. She’s never going to accept responsibility for what she’s done to us.” I pointed at my mom and they both just stood there, stunned. “You need to stop trying to pacify everyone and do something before it’s too late, but I can’t stay here right now. I can’t be around her and listen to this shit anymore.” I told him and then turned to leave the room, not even remembering my bag. Thankfully Ace was right behind me and he saved me the embarrassment of having to go back for it.
Chapter 33
Ace
It was one of those moments where I knew I had to tread very lightly and really think before I spoke. Sadie was more than a little sensitive at the moment. Not only was she worrying herself to death about Mia, but after that little confrontation with her mom, she was rearing for a fight. After she stormed out of the room, I grabbed our bags and followed after her. When she turned the corner down the hall, she slumped against the wall and then slid down to the floor, hugging her knees to her chest and dropping her head. Her body shook with soft sobs and I didn’t know what to do for her.
I dropped the bags on the floor and then sat down beside her. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my side and resting my cheek on top of her head. “It’s okay baby. I promise it will be okay.”
“How do you know?” The anguish in her voice gutted me. It was like reliving the nightmare from two years ago all over again and I was just as helpless now.
“Because it’s the only choice we have. We have to believe she will be okay. We have to have faith,” I told her as I rubbed my hand up and down her back, hoping to comfort her so I wouldn’t feel so useless.
“What do you know of faith?” she snapped at me, lifting her head to look me in the eyes. My hand froze on her back and I winced. I knew she was just emotional and scared, but it hurt to have her lash out at me. Almost as soon as the words had left her mouth, I saw that she regretted them and I watched the tears well up all over again. “I’m sorry,” she whimpered. “I didn’t mean to yell at you.”
“Shh,” I started rubbing her back again, “it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize. You’re right, I don’t know much about faith and how all that works, but I think that’s kind of the point of faith. You don’t have to understand it. You just have to have it.” She squeezed her eyes shut and nodded even as the tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Thank you,” she said. “Thank you for being with me. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
I took her face in my hands and lowered my forehead to hers. “There’s nowhere else I’d be. My place is with you. Always.” Her body heaved a heavy sigh that was part sob. I pressed a kiss under each of her eyes. I felt her tears on my lips and tasted their saltiness. I pulled away and she peered up at me. “I know you probably don’t want to hear this right now, but you haven’t slept more than a couple of hours. Your body is tired, you haven’t eaten anything, and as much as I’m sure you want to stay here, there’s nothing we can do right now. We should go get a hotel room, eat something, rest a little and clean up before we come back.”
I expected her to protest and put up a fight, but she nodded in agreement. “Okay, we can go,” she said softly. I stood and then reached out a hand to help her up. I locked our fingers together and then used my free hand to grab both of our bags. They were light enough that it was easy to carry them in one hand so that I didn’t have to let go of Sadie.
I nudged her into the elevator that would take us down and hit the button. We were the only two in the elevator and she leaned her body into mine for the short ride down. I wasn’t entirely sure if she was leaning on me for emotional support or because her body was about to collapse from physical exhaustion. When the elevator dinged and the doors opened again there was a male nurse waiting to get on so I stepped off, but was jerked to a stop by my
arm that was still holding Sadie’s. I looked back to see why she wasn’t following me. Her feet were firmly planted on the floor of the elevator and she made no move to budge. She wasn’t even looking at me. She had that deer in headlights look as she stared ahead of her. I realized her eyes were locked on the male nurse’s and he was staring back at her with an angry scowl.
The elevator doors started to close but then retracted again because I was blocking them. I took a closer look at the nurse, it was obvious Sadie knew him, and from the looks they each wore, it didn’t seem that they were happy to see each other. He looked to be about my age, maybe a little older, he had a golden complexion and dark hair and eyes that suggested he wasn’t entirely Caucasian.
“Jeremi,” her voice came out weak. “What are you doing here?”
“What’s it look like?” He sneered. “I work here.” I wanted to punch him for being an ass and talking to her that way.
“Of course,” she mumbled, staring at the ground. “I remember hearing that you got accepted to nursing school. Clayton would be so proud of you.” Ah, it made sense now, this must be Clayton’s other brother. I could see the resemblance to the other one, appearance and personality. He seemed like just as big of an ass. He only confirmed it when he opened his mouth again.
“Don’t you say his name. You don’t get to talk to me about my brother. You don’t get to talk to me about shit,” he snarled, causing Sadie to flinch. It was time for me to step in, but my girl didn’t need me to. I watched her shoulders straighten and her chin lift as she pulled herself together.
“Whether you like it or not Jeremi, I loved your brother and he loved me. Nothing will ever change that and hating me won’t bring him back. I miss him too. I lost him too.”
“You didn’t lose him you stupid bitch, you took him from his family, and from what I understand, you’re about to find out what it feels like to lose a sibling,” he spit out. Sadie’s expression fell and her entire body slumped. Her hand covered her mouth as she fought back a strangled sob. I saw red. I had let this go on too long. I gave that prick a shove and got right in his face.
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