Don't Blame Me

by Kay Blake

  “Hey,” I heard a deep voice say. And without looking up I already knew it was Adrian. As it seemed to be the norm for him, his presence took over the area, and I glanced up at him before looking back at the lawn.

  “Shouldn’t you be with your plaything right about now?” I asked dryly.

  “Who? Bella? She isn’t my plaything. It was just a little fun. Nothing more.”

  “I see. That whole it was just a little fun seem to be your theme. Maybe you should go back inside and stick to it. I want to be alone right now,” I said.

  Ignoring me he sat next to me, invading my nose with his scent, and invading my personal space by being much too close. Much too close for comfort.

  “I guess I don’t speak English,” I said loudly, hoping Adrian would take the hint, but he ignored me again.

  “Why are you out here anyway?”

  “I wanted to be alone and rest my feet,” I said.

  Adrian looked down at my feet and smirked.

  “Sounds like you were having fun.”

  “Oh, so you did see me?”

  “Yeah. I did.”

  “And still…”

  “Still what?” he asked.

  But I didn’t answer it. I couldn’t. Because I knew I had no right to be upset with him.

  “Anyway, I was dancing. I wasn’t having your kind of fun.”

  “Who says I wasn’t dancing,” he asked.

  “Your tongue seemed to be down the throat of the girl whose breasts were in your hands, but whatever you say.”

  Adrian laughed then. It was deep and it both made me curious and irked me at the same time. I didn’t think that was even possible. But Adrian seemed to be one of those guys who made me feel things that didn’t make sense. He also couldn’t take a hint. He wouldn’t go away no matter what you did.

  “Can I touch your feet?”

  “Excuse me?” I said, my voice on edge.

  “I’m going to rub your feet. You said they were bothering you, and I didn’t want to just touch them without your permission.”

  I laughed.

  “Why would you want to rub my feet? That sounds a bit forward.”

  “I thought I’d be nice. Your feet are hurting, and my hands are available. A win for you if you look at the bigger picture.”

  “Oh, so now you have some manners?” I said my brow raised.

  “I’m trying to,” he said.

  Cautiously, I placed my feet on his lap. He took my right foot first, and his strong hands worked some magic. I let out a slight moan solely based on the fact that it felt good.

  “I think I like the way that sounds,” he said quietly, his tone not sounding the way it was before.

  “I’m sorry. My feet were killing me and your hands are super strong. It feels great,” I replied quickly.

  Adrian nodded. His hands felt perfect. He took the other foot into his hand doing the same as before.

  “You know you look beautiful in that dress,” he said.

  “I bet you say that to all the girls,” I scoffed.

  “I might say things to benefit me in the long run, but I don’t tell all girls that they are beautiful. Those kinds of things should be reserved for special people.”

  “You just called me beautiful. Why? I don’t think I’m that special.”

  “Maybe you are.”

  I didn’t know what to say to him after that. It was strange, the things I was feeling. Part of me was still annoyed by the shit I saw in the hallway, and the other half of me did like that he was sitting here with me and rubbing my feet.

  “Thank you,” I said quietly, moving the hair out of my face.

  He stopped rubbing my feet and I placed them back in my heels.

  “You came here with Marcy?” he asked.

  “Yeah. She was the reason I decided to come to this party in the first place. She thought that it would be fun. And it was for the most part.”

  “What are your plans after this?”

  “I am going to crash in my bed and sleep.”

  “Are you always this boring?” he asked, his playful tone slipping back into place.

  “I guess. I get that some think college is this place to party, but I have plans, and college is my way to get them. It is the reason that I work so hard and try to keep up with my grades. I don’t want anything in my way,” I said honestly. I stood up and he followed suit.

  “I get that. But you have to enjoy life too or it will pass you by and before you know it, you will be regretting that you didn’t stop, take a moment and let it all in.”

  Again, I was a bit lost for words. I have had many people say the same thing. That life was much too short, and that I should enjoy it. Even my parents agreed with that analogy, even if they didn’t agree with my career choice. But yet, I always found myself holding back. Maybe it was fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of letting go without having any control over things or rather trusting things even if I couldn’t control them.

  We stood there looking at each other. I felt something I’ve never felt before and it coiled in my stomach. For a moment the loud music from inside seemed muffled. I could see a difference in his eyes this time, not the usual amusement that danced in them. It was almost as it time as stilled.

  I stared at him, his hair a bit unruly, and his expression serious. He was right, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. He was cocky enough, and I wasn’t good at giving compliments to guys, especially when they were like him. Sexy, aggravating and a playboy kind of guy. He cleared his throat, and the feeling between us passed as quickly as it had come. Maybe I can give the one being friends thing a shot. Instead of saying all those things. I only said one.

  “Do you want to dance?”

  Chapter Seven

  Adrian

  We made our way back to the dance floor, my hand in hers. She wasn’t mad at me. She wasn’t cursing or yelling and she asked me to dance. Who was I to turn her down? I loved the way the dress she wore fit all parts of her frame, and once again I wondered how she looked under it. Wondered if I could make her moan the way she did on the balcony.

  Usher’s “Yeah” came on and she smiled as she danced with me. I could feel her ass pressed against me as she grinded to the song, and I wanted her more than I’ve ever wanted anything before, but I kept my cool. I danced not saying what I wanted and not putting my foot in my mouth.

  There was a certain part of the song came on and she danced close to me. Much too close. I could feel my dick getting hard, and I had to give myself space from her. She was playing in dangerous territory now and I had to remember not to say things that I would normally say or normally do to get a girl in bed with me. Usually, I didn’t have to say much. Being on the football team was enough. But with Leah, it was different. I couldn’t do that without knowing she was going to put me in my place if I even came to her like that.

  “Leah, you are killing me right now,” I whispered into her ear as I spun her around.

  “It’s just dancing. Nothing more. Nothing less,” she said, her voice not sounding as convincing as her words.

  Marcy had waved at Leah and Leah smiled, telling her to come over.

  “Ah, so I see you found Leah, Adrian. I was looking for her,” she said.

  “We were just talking and dancing,” I said, running my hands through my hair. I was partially grateful for the interruption as it gave me a chance to calm down and give myself a pep talk.

  Leah gave me a strange look, but didn’t say anything.

  “I was trying to enjoy myself, which you insisted that I do. But here I am. Is something wrong?” Leah asked.

  “No. I just thought maybe you used the separation as a cue to go home,” Marcy replied.

  “You think I’m that bad?” Leah said with a small pout.

  Marcy laughed. “Uh, yeah. You don’t know how to relax and have fun. I get it. I do, but sometimes we all need to wind down a little. That’s all. But even if you are too stubborn, I love you. And I got your back. Even if it means
protecting you from pigheaded jerks like this one,” Marcy said pointing towards me.

  I mockingly feigned hurt. I knew I was being an asshole before, but I was interested in this girl. More interested than I’ve ever been in anyone before.

  “Who me?”

  “Yes, you Adrian. Be a better guy and I wouldn’t have to say those kinds of things.

  Raising my hands in defense, I laughed lightly.

  “You got it, Marcy. I promise to try and be on my best behavior. I know how close the two of you are, but maybe I’m not as bad as you think,” I said sincerely.

  Leah looked at me, but I stared at Marcy hoping that she could believe that I was interested in the sassy girl who wanted to be a journalist. Tommy glanced between the two of us before breaking the silence.

  “Okay, then let’s get back to partying, the night is young,” he said.

  “Agreed,” I said, grabbing Leah’s hand and we continued to dance. We danced together for a while and when she tried to break away because a slow song came on, I held her to me watching her look at everything else, but at me.

  “Do you always look away from people that are right in front of your face?”

  She shrugged. “No. Not really. If I do, there’s usually a reason. Being uncomfortable, worried, or nervous,” she said.

  “I make you uncomfortable or nervous?”

  “No. You don’t actually. It’s just…you’re overwhelming. You’re a bit much and I don’t know how to handle you. It’s hard to explain.”

  “You seemed to have explained it just fine to me.”

  “Yeah. I don’t know. You seem like you would be hard to contain.

  “I think that can be a good thing.”

  “How so?”

  “Well, it’s not boring to want to know about things that you can’t explain. Life should be exciting, and if you feel overwhelmed, just take a deep breath and breathe it all in.”

  Leah raised her eyebrow at me with a skeptical look on her face. “So, I’m supposed to breathe you all in?”

  “No. Well, not exactly. If you think I’m too much, just slowly take it in.”

  “And what if I don’t want to take it all in?”

  I laughed. “If not would you be standing here with me spending all your time dancing with me?”

  “Maybe I’m being nice.”

  “Or maybe you like me and don’t want to admit it. It’s fine though. You don’t have to. I know you feel something and for that, I will stick around. I’m going to be around so much you won’t be able to get me out of your mind.”

  “Or maybe I am passing the time slowly because I have nothing better to do.”

  “You don’t seem to be the type of woman who would waste her time doing anything she didn’t want to.”

  “True.”

  I could smell her scent, almost like cocoa butter and something else. And I inhaled her restraining myself from kissing her again.

  “Can we maybe do lunch or something?”

  “I’m sure we will see each other around campus.”

  “Maybe I want a more sure thing. More than seeing you around campus.”

  “Why?”

  “Because honestly, I like being around you even if your face is always in a scowl.”

  “If that is your way of flirting you need to try a different approach.”

  “Am I wrong?” I asked with a smug look on my face.

  “Yes! Again, you seem to bring the worse out of me.”

  I didn’t want to seem like I was begging her.

  I stopped dancing with her, to hold her gaze. “How about this? Once I get you back to your apartment, we’ll exchange numbers and I’ll call you. And if I don’t annoy you too much then we can do lunch?”

  She bit her lip, her nostrils flaring a bit as she was contemplating. Nodding softly, she leaned back in, and we continued to dance to the slow song that was different than the one that played before. I couldn’t deny that I was happy, that she didn’t pull away. She let me hold her in my arms, and even if it was only a small step, I was content. It was enough for now.

  Chapter Eight

  Leah

  Two weeks later from the night Adrian walked me home, we sat in the living room of our apartment in front of the tv. We as in me, Marcy, and Tommy. While it was a small apartment, it was cozy. It was one of the things I loved about it. We sat on the couch, watching one of my favorite movies of all time. Titanic. And just as we got to see Jack all dressed in his tux, there was a knock on the door.

  Marcy looked over at me and stood up to answer it. Opening the door, she shook her head.

  “Hey, Adrian,” she said reluctantly.

  “Hey, is Tommy here?”

  “Yeah. We’re just watching a movie.”

  “Cool,” he said coming in and sitting down next to me.

  He didn’t say anything to me, and that pissed me off. Actually, I was pissed off because two weeks had passed and he hadn’t called. I understand he had practice and road games and school work, but one call doesn’t take that long. Hell, even an email would’ve sufficed. And then he had the nerve to come into my apartment, and not say hi. I wanted to smack his stupid face. But I kept my cool, keeping my eyes on the tv. I would not get mad. This was my time to relax.

  There was a good silence as the movie continued, my eyes partially misty as it always was when I watched this movie.

  “I don’t get how women can watch this movie and not see how fake this all is. Not, the Titanic story, but Jack and Rose are fake. How can they love each other that soon? Men don’t act like that,” Adrian said nonchalantly interrupting the silence with a stupid comment.

  I rolled my eyes. I knew it was too good to be true. All I wanted was to enjoy my downtime. With all the stuff happening with school and deadlines for the paper, I didn’t have much time to do little things that kept me relaxed. But here he had to go and ruin it.

  “Here you go,” Marcy muttered and I knew she said it because of what my reaction was going to be.

  “How do you know men don’t act like that? You know all the men in the world all of a sudden?” I asked with sarcasm.

  “No. I am one so I know.”

  “Oh, you are one, huh? Could’ve fooled me”

  “What is that supposed to mean?” he said, his voice moving up an octave.

  “Exactly what I said. What exactly about you means you are a man? Because you play football?”

  “No. I’m over 18 so…”

  “Yeah, and that’s about it. Because men should know when they put their foot in their mouth, but for some reason, you seem to not know when you are indeed doing that.”

  “How am I putting my foot in my mouth?”

  I laughed and shook my head.

  “You have been doing so since I’ve met you. And frankly, it’s getting tiresome.”

  “And you think you’re some kind of picnic to be around?”

  “I’m sure I’m not all the time, but I own it. I know that about me. You truly don’t seem to realize that sometimes…no actually, most times you’re a big asshole.”

  I could see him getting angry and he stood up suddenly. “Yeah. Well, maybe I like being an asshole.”

  “Obviously.”

  “Are you always like this? You act like you don’t know what it means to even have a little fun. Like fun is a foreign concept or something.”

  “I do know how to have fun. I have fun with those I want to. You, however, weren’t part of the plan.”

  “You guys… maybe that’s enough. It’s okay to agree to disagree,” Tommy stated, but he stopped talking once he saw the look I shot him.

  “I can feel however I want to feel in my space. I wanted to watch this movie as I planned and I was having a good time doing so. Suddenly it isn’t what I wanted it to be and now I’m wrong for being mad about it?”

  “They are fictional, Leah. Fake. All of it is fake. Why does that bother you so much?”

  There were many words that I wanted to say. May
be because it made me think less about my crazy course load. Maybe because sometimes it was good to get lost in the love between fictional characters. Or because maybe I wanted that for myself one day. Someone who loved me with everything. That was freaking important. Or maybe because he had the nerve to come into my apartment and not even apologize for the fact that he didn’t call me or answer my calls. And most of all because I fucking liked Titanic and wanted to watch it. I didn’t think it was too crazy to ask for.

  “Marcy and I do this when we can. We hang out and watch movies. Today just happened to be the day we watched Titanic. We watch movies we have seen already all the time. You two weren’t supposed to be here. And while I usually make an exception for Tommy because he gets it, I didn’t ask you nor want you to be here. It is like you are just the bane of my existence. I don’t know why you have to be such a pain in the ass, but oh my God, I don’t think you even realize that you do the annoying shit that you do. It might work for all those other groupie girls that you seem to have hanging onto your every word, but I will not deal with that shit. I will not. I don’t care. I will watch whatever the hell I want to watch in my apartment.”

  I was defiant and angry, my hands on my hips, and my nose flaring. I didn’t know why he got such a reaction out of me, but I was livid. He had to know that there were plenty of jocks that looked like him. Plenty of jocks that acted like him. He was a dime a dozen.

  “Well, maybe if you acted like those girls, you would get laid. It’ll probably help you relax a little. You seriously need to take a chill pill. You should never be this damn upset about anything. But especially not about a movie. So, what I made a stupid comment? What else is new? I say what I feel at the moment. That’s it. This isn’t that serious for you to be this mad. I mean what man does what he does for Rose? She didn’t even share the damn wooden door with her. She could have at least done that. People don’t love like that. It isn’t real. It just isn’t.”

  Granted, he was right about Rose. I had my feelings about that, but that whole needing to get laid comment set my blood boiling and I clenched my fists realizing that maybe I was getting too heated and that it wasn’t that serious, but I couldn’t help it. He knew how to push all the wrong buttons and I hated it. Mostly I didn’t like that most of this was because he didn’t call me.