Break Me

by Ashley Christin

  “Let me know if you want me to stop, B. Damn. Please. You have to tell me. It feels like you were fucking made for me.” A long, sensual moan leaves his lips, his forehead soft against mine while the head of his cock gains access.

  Watching this man above me shakes me to my soul. Never have I had feelings for someone that shook me to my core. That should be the first sign to get away from him, but I ignore it. If I listen to that tiny little voice, I’m scared. I’m scared I will miss out on something so amazing, no matter how long it lasts. I want that once in a lifetime love, even if it’s fleeting…

  “If you want me to stop, say it. I’m not sure I will be able to in a few seconds,” he pleads. But I don’t want him to stop. I want him to fill the void in my soul that only feels whole when he is around me. I place a slow kiss on his lips while he lifts my arms above my head pinning me to the bed. I inhale a deep breath.

  “Dammit, B. You feel so fucking good. So warm and tight,” he whispers into my ear. I swear I get wetter just by his voice. I look down between us and I’m caught by surprise at how fucking hot we look connecting. As he slowly slides his length into me, I gasp for air at his entrance.

  “You’re so fucking sexy and so mine,” he declares.

  He feels fucking amazing.

  “Do you like that, B? Tell me how much you like it.” The gravelly sound of his voice and the head of his cock grazing with just the right amount of pressure sends chills of passion over my body. Hell yes, I love him thrusting into me like a madman, but I’ve never had a man talk to me like he is.

  “Fuck. Yes.”

  What else do you say to a sexy-as-fuck man who is fucking you like you are his next breath?

  Fuck me harder!

  Colt

  Unfortunately, I’ve been with many women. None, and I mean none, make me feel like Brealynn. I would have waited a million years to feel only her.

  Problem was, I didn’t.

  A gasp escapes her mouth as I pull her bottom lip with my teeth, continuing my slow movement inside her. I want her wrapped around my dick for fuckin’ days.

  That statement scares the shit out of me.

  I’ve never felt this, this feeling of wholeness, want, need along with a nagging tug on my heart every time I glance into her blue depths.

  “You’re so fuckin’ sexy and so mine.” My voice is rough with uncontained passion. “Do you like that, B? Tell me how much you like it.” Goosebumps erupt over her skin, her body giving away that she loves my dirty mouth.

  “Fuck. Yes.” The need that’s urgent in her voice sends me driving harder into her sweet body.

  Brealynn’s fingers dig into my back while her head tips back. My lips slide up her neck finding the tender area while we grind into each other.

  The moment she lets go, my whole world realigns on her axis, blue eyes glowing brighter with her release. She stares directly into mine, causing my release to grab a hold of me like a vise. It happens so suddenly and without my guard up, fuck, it’s like she knows.

  Gently I fall down on top of her, nuzzling my face into the crook of her neck, inhaling her, trying to rein in my emotions, both of us breathing heavy and absorbing the moment.

  Normally, I’m used to acting on my impulses, any consequences be damned. But, this time…this time is different. I’ve been walking around with a void where my heart should be for half a year. But laying here with Brealynn this morning, I feel so much more than I ever have.

  No good can come from this, but maybe, just maybe, for now I can just enjoy being around her.

  She gave no second thought to my behavior last night. She just gave me what I needed, without even knowing it. Although I know that it’s inevitable that I will break her, I can’t find the strength in me to leave. She makes me more reckless than normal, except this time it’s with her. Caring for her, hell anyone, is new to me. Caring about someone who could potentially wreck me and leave me a completely different person, I’m giving her too much power.

  Brealynn tilts her head up to me with a smile on her face. “Good morning.”

  She looks absolutely beautiful with her messy blonde hair lying around her face. The fact that I even stayed the night with her is beyond me. I never stay this long; normally, it’s a chaste kiss goodbye right after the finale. But I can’t seem to leave her. I wrap both of my arms around her, pulling her naked body over mine

  “Mornin’,” I mumble, placing my lips on hers.

  “Oh nononono, I have to brush my teeth before any of that business!” she states, looking grossed out and trying to pull out of my grip.

  “Fine,” I say bringing her closer to me and kissing her on the forehead. “We can save that for when we shower.”

  “We?”

  “Oh, yeah.” I wink at her. “Where’s Kelsey?”

  “I don’t know. She sent a text last night and said she would be out until this morning.”

  Twisting my body, I roll slightly over her. “Well, that worked out well for me.”

  “For us both.” The shy smile that spreads across her face is adorable.

  Did I just say adorable? Fuck.

  Brealynn

  Well, it seems whatever was troubling Colt is gone. His eyes seem clear and hopeful this morning. I have no idea what I’m getting into with him. One minute, he’s holding me at arm’s length and the next minute, he’s in my bed.

  There’s an underlying connection with Colt; I don’t know how to express it. It’s just there, constantly vibrating through my soul every time we’re together.

  “I believe it’s time for that shower I was promised.” Standing, I throw his t- shirt over my head.

  “Damn, I think you should just wear my shirt all day and nothing else.” He grabs the edge of the shirt, successfully dragging me back into the bed.

  I like playful Colt.

  He’s showing so many different sides of himself.

  “Talk to me about yesterday. You scared the shit out of me when you passed out, B.” He lays flat on his back, concern heavy in his voice as I straddle his lap.

  “I was so overwhelmed.” A long sigh escapes as he rubs my sides under the t-shirt.

  “Do you still have feelings for Nick? I have to know.” His hands stop and grip my ribs. As if he is trying to anchor himself in case of bad news.

  “No! I do, however, have feelings for you.” I blush, feeling the heat run across my face. It’s not like I declared my love for him or anything, but still.

  Colt runs his hands up to my face and traces his thumb over my bottom lip as I stare into his chocolate brown eyes.

  “I care about you, too,” he whispers, and I feel like this moment is completely breakable because, even though there’s still a lot to learn about Colt, that admission cost him. I just want to bottle it up and bubble wrap it to keep forever.

  “Come on, let’s go take that shower,” he states, easing the air around us.

  He runs his hands further up underneath the shirt, cupping my breast and attempting to sit up, but I press my hand into his chest holding him down. “No, sir.”

  “Mmmmm, sir. I like the sound of that,” he teases in a raspy morning voice. I lean off him and step to the floor.

  “We better go before Kelsey gets back. She will have a million questions if she catches you here, which I am sure you don’t want to have to answer.” He doesn’t argue but throws on jeans sans shirt so we can walk down the hall to the showers.

  Colt wastes no time in getting a head start on our shower while I brush my teeth. It’s hard to not kiss him. But I don’t do morning breath, for anyone. Since it’s early, we are temporarily the only ones occupying the bathroom.

  Slipping in behind Colt in the shower, I wrap my arms around his waist, kissing his back. He turns in my arms and proceeds to grab my ass, picking me up and slamming my back into the cold tile walls as a yelp escapes my lips. I grab his face in my hands, kissing him.

  “Still not satisfied?” I lean back against the cold tile causing my center to
push into his and my skin to break out in chill bumps.

  “With you? Never. I’m not sure I could ever get enough of you,” he says leaning into me, nipping at my ear.

  With all my heart, I pray that his statement is true, and the fact that I have such high hopes scares me. Colt begins a slow trail of kisses up my neck, between my ear and shoulder when he whispers, “What do you think about me fucking you right here?”

  In the co-ed showers? We are hidden behind a thin shower curtain; however, it’s not soundproof.

  “Mmmmmm.” I can’t think with his lips on my body.

  “Shit. I don’t have a condom.” Defeat is clear in his eyes.

  “I’m on birth control.” He doesn’t move. Just stares into my eyes.

  “I’ve never…” The sincerity in his gaze pierces right through me with his whisper.

  “I trust you.” I place my lips to his as the water beats down his back. With my consent, a pleased sigh escapes my lips as he fills me. I’m in bliss with him.

  He is a perfect fit.

  Colt

  The need to consume her is strong as I push into her and feel at home. I’ve never felt this way before; it’s like she was made for me.

  Does that even really happen?

  I feel like the lost piece that’s finally been found and placed in the right puzzle. Normally, when I’m with a girl, I don’t feel anything but my own pleasure. It’s a means to an end. But this is different. She is different. I can feel her coursing through my whole body, vibrating deep within me, shaking my soul, and that terrifies the fucking shit out of me.

  Every muscle in my body tightens as I reach my release, following Brealynn. She places a hand on each of my shoulders and attempts to slide down my body and out of my grip. I tighten my hold on her, not quite ready to let her go. I’ve never had sex bare with a woman before and can’t believe I allowed myself to. This girl makes me reckless.

  “I’m still trying to get that shower I was promised. You have to put me down,” she says, a sated smile on her face. Slowly releasing her as her feet touch the tile floor, I start to soap up her body.

  “Who am I to deny you?”

  Brealynn takes the soap from my hand and starts lathering up my chest. Paying extra close attention to my chest tattoo, she stops and looks up at me with questioning eyes.

  “I’ve never seen a piece like this before. What’s the story?”

  I can’t tell her that I’m a lost cause on love. That I will never, can never, actually love someone, to have someone tied to me for life, to bring me down. I finished this piece right before I came home. A mechanical heart with a bike chain intertwined through it ripping away from my skin. Placing my hand over hers halts her finger tracing movements.

  Bringing her hand up to my mouth, I assure her, “Nothing special,” as I kiss her hand. It’s not a complete lie, my heart is nothing special.

  Brealynn

  After spending last night and this morning wrapped in Colt, I feel a little cold without him as I sit on one of the couches at the coffee shop. Having that hot of a man next to you for any period of time will do that to a girl.

  It was hard enough to get through my classes today without all my thoughts going his direction. One of the main ones being his tattoo; I can’t help but think there is more to it than he leads on. Most people get tattoos for a reason. Surely, he wouldn’t create something that covers that much skin for nothing…

  “Whatcha doin'?” Kelsey plops down in the seat next to me on the couch.

  “Just taking a break between classes. You?”

  “Skipping. I hate speech. Clearly, I know how to speak.”

  “Well, then you better start. I have not seen you for over fourteen hours. What gives?” I challenge her, slowly sipping on my coffee. It’s not like Kelsey to hold out on me.

  She sits up straight, looks me right in the eye, and proceeds to speak. “Hello, my name is Kelsey, and I am a slore. That’s the first step. Right? Acceptance.”

  I almost choke on my coffee at her statement and stutter my response, “Wh-what?”

  “I had a one-night stand last night.” Her face is dead serious. I just can’t believe she let someone get past second base.

  “Ohmygosh. With who?” My stare is incredulous.

  “I don’t want to say. It was a one time thing, and all I want to do is forget it. Slore’s memories suck, right? I mean, how else can they sleep with so many people? I’m not ready for that type of commitment.”

  “Kels, you are not a slore. Calm your vagina. I think you may have some kind of post-traumatic vagina disorder from that one-nighter.” I chuckle.

  “I can’t keep calm and all that shit. My vagina is a slore. That bitch sold me out,” she expresses, leaning back into the couch and crossing her arms.

  “Every vagina has the right to make one choice in the matter and this was yours. We all know what mine was.” I shiver thinking about it.

  “PTVD is a bitch. Do you think I can claim some kind of disability for it?” she questions me with a serious look.

  “You’re insane.” My phone starts to ring from my bag.

  As I pull it from the front pocket, Kelsey quickly stands. “Well, I better get to class. See you back at the dorm tonight.”

  Between looking at the caller ID and her comment, I’m caught too off guard to stop her. She must really be upset with herself over this. I didn’t even have time to tell her about my night and morning, I think with a grin before I answer the call.

  “Hello, Mother,” I singsong into the phone.

  “Don’t ‘hello mother’ me. You were supposed to call me. I have been worried sick. Were you in a ditch somewhere? Passed out and forgot to set your alarm clock for class? Endless things ran through my mind, Brealynn. I haven’t been able to reach Kelsey, either. What in the world have my girls been up to?” I start to chuckle at my mom’s ramblings. We text almost daily. If we go more than forty-eight hours without some form of communication, she draws the line and comes looking for me.

  “I’ve just been busy with class, as has Kelsey. I also may have met someone.” My confession starts the questioning and distracts her from asking more about Kelsey. Honestly, I don’t know what that girl has been truly up to.

  “A boy! Thank goodness. So, it’s safe to say that you and Nick are actually over?” My mom never really liked Nick. She thought he was trouble, and he was. Thank goodness she doesn’t rub it in my face. Most days my mom is my best friend, next to Kelsey. But there are certain things you just can’t tell your mom.

  “Yes, Mom. I told you that we wouldn’t be getting back together.” Irritation is clear in my voice at the mention of Nick.

  “I know, I know, but you never know. I’m so glad you finally cut him loose. So, tell me about this boy, Brea. I want all the details.”

  Like hell I would be giving her all the details.

  “Well,” I leave her hanging for a few seconds, just to torture her. “His name is Colt Taylor, and he goes to school here with me, and rides BMX.” I hear a quick intake of breath on the other end of the line.

  “That’s so exciting! So, is it serious? Wait- what’s BMX?” I swear talking to my mom is just like talking to Kelsey sometimes.

  “Mom, come on, we just met.” My laugh sounds shaky. It’s not serious, well, it shouldn’t be serious yet. I just know that I feel more for him than I should at this moment. However, I am not going to admit that to my mom. “BMX- uh- um- He rides bikes, on ramps, it’s a bunch of jumping and flying – anyway, I really like him.” My foot bounces on the café floor.

  “I remember when I first met your father at a frat party with my friend Jenny. One look into his eyes was all it took.” Her story seems familiar to mine. “We soon started dating and then you came along. Don’t make that choice just yet. I’d like for you to be married first.” My eyes roll at the thought of having kids right now. No thank you.

  “We just met; let’s not plan our wedding just yet, Mom.” I release a heavy si
gh while tapping my fingers against my leg.

  “When you know, you just know. Your father and I met on campus and just look at us now.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind,” I assure her. “Well, Mom, I really need to get to class.”

  “Fine, remember to keep that boy of yours on his toes but also remember that it is okay to play the field. I love you, honey.”

  “I know, Mom. I love you, too. Bye.” When we end the call, I slide my phone back into my bag, grab my things, and walk to my class with thoughts of Colt.

  Colt

  “Dad wants us to meet him for dinner tonight at six.” Parker’s voice is void of emotion as I walk into the kitchen.

  My dad has shown up at several of my competitions over the last few months. Our relationship has become more troubled since our loss. Not that my dad and I have ever really gotten along to begin with. He’s all business, whereas I’m more reckless with, well everything. A lot has changed since I received the call, though; the one that told me my mom was dead. Found on the side of the road, involved in a one-person accident. She ran straight through a stop sign and wrapped herself around a tree. The police and medics say she died instantly and didn’t suffer. That still doesn’t help with my suffering.

  Swallowing, it feels like hot coals burn down my throat as I shove down the hollowness that’s seeping into my body. Parker and Jamie don’t know the extent of what happen to our mother and I plan on keeping it that way. Parker has already seen too much when it comes to our parents. I’m the big brother; it’s my job to protect him and Jamie, it’s in the job description. I must have missed that handout with my birth certificate…

  “I’m sure we will have to entertain a stepmother wannabe.” I rummage through the fridge, the loathing for my father’s behavior strong in my voice. Bryan Taylor loves the company he has built around our name. He may have gotten it off the ground, but Parker and I keep it afloat. Sometimes, I think it was us who changed him and caused him to cheat on our mom. Now, I know he was already that man. I just pray that I’m not the same.