Wrong in Love

by March, Aisling

  “Is it?” he asked. His face was close to hers then, so close that she could feel his hot breath. He closed his eyes and inched toward her. She closed her eyes and started moving toward him – and saw Colin’s face in her mind.

  Colin, the man that she loved, whether or not she should.

  She opened her eyes and shoved Jonathan away, hard.

  “Ow,” he said, rubbing his chest. Apparently it wasn’t as tough as it felt.

  “Get out of here, Jonathan. Go home to Jenny,” she said.

  “Anna, please. I’m sorry. It’s you that I love,” he pleaded. She pushed past him and opened the door.

  “Good night, Jonathan,” she said. She felt a satisfaction she couldn’t have dreamed of as he walked by her with his head hung low.

  “Can you not tell Jenny about this?” he asked.

  “Ugh,” she said in disgust, slamming the door behind him.

  My god, what kind of friend have I been?

  This thought plagued every moment of her waking days back in Florida, and after nearly a week had gone by, she couldn’t take it anymore. She had stolen her best friend’s boyfriend while she was in a coma. The fact that Jocelyn was married didn’t change that what Anna had done was wrong.

  She needed a reasonable voice to talk her down.

  “You should tell him that you love him,” said Fiona when Anna called.

  “That’s not what I thought you would say,” said Anna.

  “You wanted me to tell you you’re wrong? That you shouldn’t be in love with your other best friend’s boyfriend? You thought I’d bring up that time you stole the lead in the play as evidence that you’re selfish and don’t care about what your friends have or want?” asked Fiona.

  “Oh my god, no. Is that what you think? Fiona, I’m so sorry about-” Anna started, but Fiona cut her off.

  “I’m giving you a hard time, I was over that play days after it happened. I knew it was your dad pulling the puppet strings. But I bring it up to make a point: you let yourself take full responsibility for messy situations. Yes, this is a gray area because yes, Jocelyn did see Colin first. And it sucks that she’s incapacitated, because then you wouldn’t be going behind her back, or maybe under her back, since she’s laying down,” said Fiona.

  “Fiona!” said Anna.

  “I know, poor taste. Moving on. Colin isn’t Jocelyn’s and he can’t be, because Jocelyn is married. She chose to start sneaking around with him while she was still seriously committed to Will. And now Colin is in love with you, and you’re in love with him, and Jocelyn may never wake up,” said Fiona.

  “Don’t say that,” said Anna.

  “It’s true. You can’t say goodbye to the love of your life because someone who may never recover slept with him once. Even if she woke up tomorrow, she’s still married, and Colin is still in love with you,” said Fiona.

  “I was hoping I would feel better after talking to you,” said Anna.

  “Rarely does someone feel better after talking to me. That’s why I have few friends,” said Fiona. She said it lightly, but she meant it.

  “I appreciate your honesty,” said Anna.

  “Enough with the niceties. Go get your man,” said Fiona.

  Fiona didn’t wait for Anna to say anything, she just hung up. Anna stood there, staring at the phone. A feeling was growing inside of her, something she couldn’t put into words but which told her Fiona was right. She loved Colin and he loved her. They may never have a happily ever after, but she had to tell him.

  And it had to be face-to-face.

  CHAPTER 26

  This time she almost got drunk on the plane to quell her anxiety, but she knew she needed a clear head to say everything she had to say to Colin. She was going to land at Logan, take a cab to Colin’s office, profess her love for him (maybe while holding a boom box over her head), then tell him they could never be together and get back on a plane to Florida.

  Okay, maybe she’d have just one drink.

  It was only a twenty minute cab ride from Logan to Remington Architecture, but Anna was filled with so much anxiety she was almost sick. When the taxi got stuck in traffic two blocks from Colin’s office, Anna got out and walked the rest of the way.

  It didn’t make her feel better.

  As she neared his building she realized she had no plan for this part – she didn’t know which floor he worked on, whether there would be security in the lobby or whether Sophie would block her from seeing him.

  Should she call him? It would ruin the element of surprise.

  You’re not stalking him, for chrissake, she told herself.

  Fair enough. She pulled out her phone as she approached the building and low and behold, but who was coming out the door? He was laughing, talking to another guy in a suit, his familiar smile sending a shiver through her.

  She froze. Every part of her seemed to shut down and she couldn’t make her brain control her mouth or legs.

  Then he saw her.

  “Anna?” Now he was frozen, and the guy he was walking with looked from him to her and then back to him.

  “Hi,” she said weakly.

  “Go on ahead, I’ll catch up with you later,” he said to the guy, never taking his eyes off of her. He walked toward her, and she was glad, because she was pretty sure her legs still didn’t work. “What are you doing here?”

  “I needed to talk to you, and I had to do it in person. Look, I never wanted to be involved in Jocelyn’s affair with you. From the very beginning, when she told me that she kind of liked a guy at work, I told her that she should take a step back and think about things. Will is a good guy who loves her, and besides that, I’ve always believed that affairs are very, very wrong.”

  Colin nodded.

  “And then when you two started dating, or whatever you want to call it, and she seemed to really care about you, and from what she said, it sounded like you cared a lot about her too.”

  “I did,” said Colin.

  “But it was still wrong. I believed that if what you two had was real, then you should have waited until Jocelyn was divorced, or at the very least separated, from Will. Then she got into the accident, and I didn’t know what to do. Should I call you and tell you? You were slime to me, someone who didn’t deserve to know what had happened. I especially didn’t want you coming in and destroying whatever chance at a happy marriage Jocelyn and Will might have. But I felt like it wasn’t my decision to make, and that Jocelyn would have wanted you there. So, as you know, I called you. And in person you didn’t seem to be quite the sleaze ball that I had pictured. And then I found that I looked forward to seeing you, and before I knew what was happening, I had real feelings for you.”

  Colin smiled, but it was tight, hesitant. He didn’t know where this was going.

  “Me too,” he said.

  “I don’t even know if any of this is real though. I mean, if you were able to charm Jocelyn away from Will, maybe that’s just who you are. A charmer. Maybe you seem genuine and sincere, and you’re really just about to destroy my life the same way you destroyed Jocelyn’s marriage,” said Anna.

  “Ouch,” said Colin.

  She looked at him pointedly.

  “I can’t believe that you would think that I’m being fake, that I’m just trying to charm you, as you say. I thought we had a real connection, you and I,” said Colin.

  “So did I. And I bet so did Jocelyn. And then there’s that whole aspect of it. I like you. You say you like me. Then Jocelyn wakes up, expecting to tell Will to get lost so that she can be with you, but oh! Look at that. While she was in a coma, she finds out we were getting a little too comfortable with each other.”

  Colin looked down, shaking his head.

  “Look, I know you feel like it’s over between you two, but you’ve had time to think. You’ve had a chance to meet her husband, to have a change of heart. But Jocelyn hasn’t had any of that. All she’s had is a very long nap, and when she wakes up, chances are that she’ll believe life
is still the same way it was that Friday of the car accident.”

  Colin was thoughtful, considering.

  “That hadn’t really occurred to me. I kind of figured that she would wake up and realize that we had made a mistake.”

  “That would be nice,” said Anna. “But it may be unrealistic.”

  “You flew all the way here just to tell me again why my lack of morals is ruining everything?” he asked.

  “That, and I love you,” she said.

  He had started to say something, but when she said I love you, he stopped. He squinted at her, and grinned.

  “Did you just say you love me?” he asked.

  “What? No. Well, yes, but I just wanted to say it once and then never talk about it again. Okay?” she said. She crossed her arms over her chest as if to keep herself from being vulnerable.

  He laughed.

  “Okay. But just once – I love you, too.”

  She let herself break out in a smile and they stood there like that for a minute, Anna not letting herself think about how sorry she was going to be to walk away from him again. She could enjoy just this one moment.

  They were interrupted by Anna’s ringing cell phone. She pulled it out of her bag and looked at it.

  “Will,” she said. With trepidation, she answered.

  “Hello?” she said.

  “Jocelyn woke up! She’s awake!”

  Anna nearly dropped the phone. Her entire body tingled and she felt dizzy with happiness.

  “She did? That’s incredible! When did she wake up? How is she doing? Is she talking?” She looked at Colin, who had put together what happened. He was standing open-mouthed, waiting for her to get more information.

  “She seems to be fine. The doctors are going to evaluate her, but everything seems all right. I can’t believe it. I was just sitting there when I thought I saw her eyelids move, and a moment later, they were open. I was so shocked I couldn’t say anything. And then she said, ‘Will?’”

  “You must have been so excited,” said Anna.

  “You have no idea. She wants to talk to you, but the doctors want her to rest for a while. When can you come back?”

  “I’m actually in Boston. I can be there in ten minutes,” she said.

  Will paused.

  “You’re here? Why didn’t you tell me?” It was as if all of her betrayals, and maybe Jocelyn’s, had just come back to him all at once.

  “I just landed. I’ll be right there,” she said. She hung up.

  “I’m going with you,” said Colin.

  “I think Will might kill you if he sees you,” she said.

  “I’ll at least come to the hospital with you. I’ll wait downstairs. You shouldn’t go alone, he might kill you, too. So might Jocelyn. I just want to be there in case you need me,” he said.

  She nodded.

  “Okay. Let’s go,” she said.

  Despite the fact that she may have been walking into the end of a friendship, Anna was ultimately excited to see her friend. She and Colin hailed a cab and then hurried through the hospital doors. It was so much like the first time she had come, alone then, anxious to see Jocelyn.

  “I’ll be right here,” said Colin, stopping by the elevator.

  Anna stopped too, her smile gone.

  “Oh. Right.”

  This was their relationship; non-existent, secret, wrong.

  “I’ll keep you posted,” she said. She pushed the elevator button and waved to him standing there, an outsider to everyone involved, as the doors closed behind her.

  When she burst into the room, it was filled with people. Lois was on one side of Jocelyn with Edgar and Tony behind her. Will was on the other side, the happiest expression she’d ever seen on someone’s face. To a casual observer, it may have seemed that there had never been a rift between them, that Jocelyn had never had the affair. Will’s family was still there, his parents and siblings crowded into a corner so as not to scare Jocelyn back into a coma.

  Anna paused at the door, overwhelmed by the amount of people. She wished she could sneak in and hug Jocelyn, but Will saw her first.

  “Look who’s here,” he said and Jocelyn looked toward the door.

  “Anna!”

  Anna’s hesitation was immediately gone and she rushed to her friend. She wrapped her arms around her, careful not to hurt her.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay,” said Anna, feeling her own eyes well up.

  “Me too. I heard you were here forever. You’re such a good friend,” said Jocelyn smiling up at her. Anna returned the smile, feeling a twinge of guilt.

  “You came by yourself this time,” commented Will.

  “Yes, I did,” she said quickly.

  “Who else would she come with?” asked Jocelyn, looking from Will to Anna.

  “Nobody. It’s a joke. Don’t worry about it now, we’ll fill you in later,” said Will, kissing the top of her head.

  Anna couldn’t look at him. She didn’t know what his game was, but she didn’t want to get into it now.

  “So tell me how you’re doing. Do you remember anything? Could you hear us while you were in the coma?” asked Anna.

  Lois laughed.

  “Maybe just ask her one question at a time. Her brain is still a little fuzzy,” she said.

  “Oh, it’s all boring stuff. I seem to be fine, blah blah blah. They’ll continue to monitor me closely, blah blah blah. I should make a full recovery though, and that’s good news. I think the worst part is how everyone is going to be babying me,” said Jocelyn, looking lovingly at her mother and Will.

  “They should, dear. Everyone’s so relieved,” said Marilyn, and Jocelyn smiled at her. It was certainly a monumental day.

  They surrounded Jocelyn and touched her and talked to her for an hour until a nurse came in and said some of them had to leave.

  “There’s too many people in here for Jocelyn to get any rest,” said the nurse.

  “We’ll go,” said Donald, looking relieved. He ushered the Adams clan out into the hallway with promises that they would come back soon and visit.

  “Why don’t we go and get lunch,” suggested Lois. “Give you some time with Will. We can bring you back whatever you’d like.”

  Jocelyn’s eyes lit up.

  “Anything?”

  “Anything,” said Edgar.

  “I’ll get you a pen and paper,” said Tony.

  Jocelyn took the pen and wrote a list on the piece of notebook paper Tony had torn out of a nearby notepad.

  Lois took the list when she was done and read it.

  “Is that all?” she asked with a laugh.

  “I haven’t eaten in weeks,” said Jocelyn. She looked at Anna. “Will you go get me a latte? I’m dying for one. Pumpkin spice, please,” she said.

  Anna was taken aback, but only for a second. She wanted to spill everything to Jocelyn immediately, but of course that was as selfish as stealing Colin in the first place. Of course Jocelyn would want some time with Will.

  “Of course,” she said. She went out with everyone else, but instead of taking the elevator down with them, she hurried the four flights down the stairs and grabbed Colin before anyone else could see him.

  “What’s going on?” he asked.

  “I don’t feel like doing any more explaining than I have to,” she said. She tugged him out the door and toward the coffee shop.

  “So? She’s awake? How does she look? How does she seem? Did you tell her about us?” he asked.

  “Yes, I burst into the room and I said, ‘Glad you’re awake. I had sex with Colin,’” Anna said.

  “Direct. I like it,” he said.

  “No, of course not. I may not tell her for days, weeks even. I don’t want to stress her out when she’s just coming out of a coma,” said Anna.

  “I know, I just want this whole thing behind us so we can be together,” he said.

  She looked at him.

  “We can never be together,” she said.

  Colin was quiet
after that. He didn’t say anything while she got the coffee or during the walk back. When she pushed the elevator again, he spoke up.

  “So I just wait here for nothing?” he asked.

  She was sad.

  “I guess you can go,” she said.

  He nodded.

  “All right. Whenever you tell her the truth, tell her I’m always available to talk. Send her my love,” he said. He turned and walked away and Anna waited a moment before getting on the elevator to push back the tears.

  CHAPTER 27

  Will and Jocelyn were still alone in the room when Anna returned, and they looked to be in deep conversation.

  “I can come back,” said Anna, setting the coffee down on a table and starting to leave.

  “No, wait. I want to talk to you. Will, can you give us a few minutes alone?” she asked.

  “Sure,” said Will. He squeezed her hand and kissed her on the cheek, his lips resting there for a long moment. Whatever he had learned about her affair, he definitely still loved her.

  Once they were alone, Jocelyn eyed Anna for a moment before speaking.

  “I heard you had a visitor with you. A boyfriend?” she asked.

  “I wanted to talk to you about that, but I was going to wait until you were better,” Anna began.

  “A boyfriend named Colin?” Jocelyn continued.

  Anna turned bright red.

  “It’s not like that. I just wanted to get him in here to see you-”

  Jocelyn waved away her words.

  “I know all about it. Will told me how you brought your new boyfriend and how you two seemed really happy together and how Colin couldn’t keep his eyes off of you,” she said.

  Anna, flustered, didn’t know what to say next. She played with her rings.

  “Then he told me that Sophie told him everything, that I’d had an affair with Colin and you were covering for me and sneaking him in, and then that you were really having a relationship with Colin,” she said. She stared into Anna’s eyes and Anna had to face the music.

  “Yes,” she said.