Witch Weigh (A Paranormal Romantic Comedy)

by Caroline Mickelson

  “Ah, that’s better.” Clarrisa Goodbody sat back in her chair. “It’s a shame we can’t make this a permanent condition.” She cast a hopeful glance toward the head of the table but Trudy shook her head.

  “It’s only temporary.” She removed her reading glasses, placed them on the table and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “This has all been quite exhausting. You’ve been quite exhausting Tessa. I’m sorry to have to silence you but it appears to be the only way to make myself heard.”

  Tessa struggled to speak but couldn’t. Mute was definitely a four letter word. She tapped her finger onto her palm but there was no familiar sensation, no sizzle, no power. Oh, God, no magic. Her knees felt weak. For the first time her anger made room in her mind for a bit of fear.

  “Yes, we’ve taken your magic powers too,” her aunt said. “Well, not taken them so much as given them to someone else. Temporarily, don’t panic.”

  Panic? That did little to describe the hysteria that coursed through Tessa’s body. She could live without her voice. But her magic? No. No. No.

  Her eyes darted around the council table, desperately searching for an ally but no one spared her a single sympathetic expression. Even Jinx seemed more interested in licking his paw than looking at her.

  Aunt Trudy stood and motioned for the other witches to do so. “We won’t prolong this. We are going to leave you now.” Her voice was tender. “I believe in you, Tessa. Despite the fact you’ve gone way off course in using your powers, I still believe you have goodness within you. I just don’t think you know where it is or how to use it.”

  Tessa made a choking sound, her voice failing to express what she so badly wanted to say. Her aunt was a hypocrite of the worst order if she could stand there and speak of kindness after stripping Tessa of her voice, her dignity, and her magic.

  “We’ve found the perfect fairy to teach you how to do good. How to be good.” She smiled. “We’ll see you again once you’ve completed your transformation.”

  And then they were gone. All of them, leaving a startled Jinx and an enraged Tessa behind. She was all alone.

  Or so she thought.

  “Good morning, Contessa.”

  Startled, she whirled around, eyes wide.

  A man leaned against the back wall, his hands tucked inside the pockets of his faded Levis. His fitted white t-shirt did little to hide a chest of chiseled muscles. Under any other circumstances, in any other place, Tessa would have taken the time, made the time, to drink in this gorgeous creature. But not now, not today.

  She’d been muted, she’d been robbed of her magic and she was now stuck waiting for her fairy flippin’ godmother.

  This dishy construction worker would have to get lost. She lifted her arm to motion him out of the room but stopped abruptly.

  How did he know her name?

  Chapter Three

  “Who the hell are you?”

  Tessa gasped when she realized she’d just spoken. Out loud. Her voice was back. Thank you, thank you, thank you, she silently chanted, grateful that the spell had lasted such a short time. Maybe this whole nonsense about a fairy godmother was just Aunt Trudy and the council’s way of trying to shock her into obedience. She could hardly wait to try her magic, but first she needed to get the handsome stranger out of the room.

  “Do you speak English?” she demanded. “Are you deaf?”

  He still didn’t answer. Why was he looking at her like that? It wasn’t as if she was unused to men staring at her but his gaze wasn’t the appreciative sort she was used to. He wasn’t checking her out so much as he seemed to be assessing her. No matter. She could make him disappear.

  Index finger to palm she tapped twice. Nothing happened. Maybe she just needed to warm up. She tried again.

  The handsome stranger laughed. “My dear Contessa, it’s not going to be that easy to get rid of me.”

  Tessa had no time for this nonsense. Whoever this eye candy was didn’t matter to her. Her magic powers did matter. Her plans to get the European appointment mattered even more.

  “I don’t know where my Aunt Trudy has popped off to,” she told him. “Just go wait in the main hall and someone will be along eventually with the key to whatever you need.”

  “I’ve got what I need already.” He pointed to a chair. “Shall we sit?”

  Unbelievable. Tessa shook her head. Men. Just because he was a dangerous mix of charm, good looks and sex appeal didn’t give him the right to think she’d obey his every command.

  “You sit, I’m leaving.” Tessa tucked her satchel under her arm and tried to move but her feet failed her. Her heel was stuck. She yanked her leg again but her foot wouldn’t budge. It was as if her boots were glued to the carpet.

  No doubt this was Evelyne Allswell’s idea of a joke. The cow.

  Tessa reached down to untie her laces but they wouldn’t give no matter how hard she pulled.

  “Would you like my help?”

  Tessa straightened. Her pride and desperation to be free battled over his offer. The last thing she wanted to do was accept his help.

  “Yes.”

  He raised an eyebrow. And waited.

  “Yes, please,” she managed through clenched teeth. She did her best to ignore the slow smile that stretched across his face. He really was too terribly handsome. It was best not to look.

  He knelt down in front of her and laid one hand on each boot.

  “Try to move now.”

  She did. It worked. She was free. She almost smiled but stopped herself. Something wasn’t right. Her shoes felt different. Her four inch heels were gone. It felt like she had a flat tire.

  “What did you do to me?” she demanded.

  “See for yourself.” He stood and stepped back just enough so that she could bend down to look at her feet.

  “Oh, my God,” Tessa shrieked. She staggered backward. Her feet were unstuck but now shock threatened to immobilize her. She stared into his meadow green eyes. “Who are you?”

  “Liam Kennedy.”

  “Who sent you here to torture me?” she demanded, but he remained silent.

  Tessa plopped into a chair and tugged at the sparkling pink ballet flats that had replaced her black boots. To her horror, she wasn’t able to remove them.

  “Get these off of me and then start talking. I want to know who sent you, who you are and what you plan to do to me.” For good measure she decided to throw in a threat. “Because if you don’t, I’ll make you--”

  “Contessa, might I suggest we not start out our relationship with idle threats?”

  The boyish grin on his face irked her. Even more annoying, Jinx chose that moment to saunter over and wind himself through Liam’s legs. A plaintive meow earned him a spot in Liam’s arms. Tessa narrowed her eyes at her silky black feline nemesis. Jinx she would deal with later.

  “You’re a fool if you think my threats are idle. You have no idea what I will do to you if you don’t --” her mind continued with a litany of her less than honorable intentions but her voice deserted her. She was mute again. Her eyes widened.

  Liam nodded in answer to her unspoken question.

  Tessa was grateful to be sitting down. The knowledge that sexy Liam Kennedy had the power to silence her was more than she could take standing up. For the first time in her life, she wondered if maybe, just maybe, she might be in over her head.

  “Time for some ground rules, I think.” Liam pulled up a chair and sat across from her. “No more four letter words unless it’s good, kind, love or something along those lines. I don’t want to have to keep muting you like you’re an annoying commercial, agreed?”

  Tessa reluctantly nodded. She’d agree to almost anything at this point to get her voice back and the pink monstrosities off of her feet. She could curse up a blue streak as soon as this nightmare was over.

  “Excellent. Hold still.” Liam reached forward and placed a finger on her lips. He lightly traced a straight line downwards, stopping at the base of her neck.

&nbs
p; And in that moment Tessa realized the truth. His gentle touch told of his powers. This man was no mere mortal. She pulled away, sitting as far back in the chair as she could manage.

  “Don’t be afraid, Tessa. I’m here to help you.”

  “I’m not afraid.” She could hear herself again. “If you really want to help me, then get these things off my feet.”

  Liam knelt in front of her chair and reached for one of her feet. His touch was too intimate for Tessa’s comfort. She didn’t trust the feelings coursing through her body when he touched her because they could well lead straight to wild abandonment if he didn’t let go of her ankle. She had to get out of there.

  “Tell me which fairy tale is your favorite,” Liam said.

  “I don’t like fairy tales.”

  Their eyes locked. “I bet you like the story of the big bad wolf.” He grinned.

  “Shoe.” She wiggled her foot. “Off. Please.”

  “Not until you tell me which fairy tale this reminds you of.”

  “Cinderella.” Tessa was reluctant to confess that she’d read the silliest of all the fairy tales.

  “Very good.” Liam smiled again. “Now tell me why.”

  “Why?” She needed a glass of wine. Pronto.

  “Keep up with me, Tessa. Why did you say Cinderella?”

  “Because these pink shoes are as ugly as glass slippers.”

  “What else?”

  “You’re no Prince Charming, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  He laughed, a warm sound that was just as attractive as his smile. The laughing and smiling had to stop. It interfered with her thinking and she needed to keep her wits about her.

  “And what’s left if you take away the glass slipper and Prince Charming?”

  “The pumpkin?” Tessa’s heart started to race. The tiniest inkling of where this was going hit her hard.

  “What else?” he coaxed.

  “The fairy godmother.”

  “Excellent. You’ve got it now.” Liam slipped the pink shoes off of her feet and placed them next to her chair. He stood and drew her to stand in front of him.

  “You’re my fairy godmother?” Her voice was barely above a whisper but it was all she could manage. This could not be happening to her.

  Liam nodded. “That I am, with one notable difference.” He winked.

  Tessa stared. Was he insane? Was she stuck with him? Nothing she had done to aggrieve the council warranted this kind of punishment. Pink blinged out shoes and a sexy, incorrigible fairy godfather? She so did not deserve this.

  “You look like you’re having entirely too much fun,” she complained.

  “It’s called a sense of humor, Contessa. We’ll see if we can pick you up one along the way.”

  Along the way? “Where are we going?” she barely succeeded at keeping the panic out of her voice.

  “I won’t spoil the fun by telling you.” He pulled her close and twirled her around so that her back was to him. He wrapped his arms around her waist. His breath was warm, his mouth just inches from her ear. “Let’s go. Adventure awaits us.”

  “I don’t want to.” Tessa tried to wiggle out of his grasp but it was too late. They were on their way.

  Chapter Four

  Caught in a swirl of gold glitter and dizzying speed, Tessa clung to Liam’s arms wrapped around her waist. She still wasn’t sure if he was really her fairy godperson or a nutcase who was kidnapping her but she held tight anyway.

  She stepped away from Liam the moment her feet touched the ground. Feet. She glanced down. Damn. The girly girl slippers were back.

  “Are you all right, Tessa?”

  “I could have lived without the muzak during the trip.” She dusted off the tiny bit of gold sparkles that clung to her thankfully still black dress. Curious as to where she’d been taken, she looked around.

  They’d landed in a virtual palace of pink.

  Ewww. The décor was a combination of shabby cottage chic and Las Vegas tacky. Who could stand to live in a place like this?

  “Is this going to be my cell?” she asked.

  Liam smiled. Again. Did he not know how to frown? She watched as he sat on a cabbage rose print overstuffed armchair. He looked oddly at ease.

  “Cell? Don’t be silly. Aren’t you going to be a good hostess and offer me a beer?”

  Hostess? Had she landed smack in the middle of Liam Kennedy’s harem? Was she supposed to be his new sex slave? Sex slave slash cocktail waitress?

  “Not unless I could poison it.” She took a closer look around. They were in a condo judging by the floor plan. A floor plan that reminded her very much of her own condo.

  Oh, no. It couldn’t be hers. No. She whirled around, eyes anxiously taking in her surroundings. Nothing was familiar except the layout. Her condo was done in minimalist gray tones with chrome furniture and low lighting.

  Just to be sure she headed through to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. There wasn’t a vegetable in sight. Not a single wine bottle either. Definitely not hers. This one was stocked with beer and Chinese carry out boxes. What would that equal? Sixty thousand calories?

  She eyed the beer bottles. Perhaps she’d try that whole catching flies with honey thing Aunt Trudy had talked about for years. She took one bottle and then another. Maybe getting Liam drunk would allow her to gather information and thus enable her to devise a plan to get out of this mess.

  It was worth a try.

  ***

  Liam took one look at Tessa’s face and knew she was up to something.

  “Cold beer.” She deposited both bottles on the table between his chair and the sofa. She hitched her skirt up and settled onto the sofa, drawing her legs up beside her. She pointed to the beer. “How exactly do they open?”

  “Not with magic, if that’s what you’re hinting at.”

  She frowned. She did that a lot lately. She should watch that or the wrinkles would start to show in a couple of hundred years.

  “I’m not hinting at anything, Mr. Kennedy. I’m just curious how one goes about drinking from a bottle.”

  He grabbed a beer. “It’s Liam, and let’s skip the Mr. Kennedy routine. Old fashioned politeness doesn’t sound natural coming from you.” In a much practiced move he held the beer bottle against the edge of the coffee table and flipped the lid off. He handed it to her and opened the second bottle for himself.

  He held it up. “Cheers.”

  Tessa looked at the bottle as if it was an alien object before she took a tentative sip.

  Her grimace made him laugh. He took a long swig and savored the coldness as it went down.

  “Go ahead, fire away,” he told her.

  “What?” She sounded genuinely confused. She looked oddly out of place considering this was her own condo. And he’d bet nine and a half out of ten dollars she didn’t even know it.

  “I can see you’re burning up with questions so shoot.”

  “I do have one question.” She twirled her beer bottle as she spoke, without taking a second sip. “If you’re my fairy godperson, aren’t you supposed to grant me three wishes?”

  He laughed. He couldn’t help it. She was so clueless.

  “No, that would be a genie, a different game altogether.” He took one last swig of beer and set the empty bottle on the table. “But, just for the sake of conversation and getting to know each other, tell me what your first wish would be if I were your genie.”

  “You’ll do it?”

  “If I can. Go ahead, your reasonable wish is my command.”

  Tessa suddenly looked as satisfied as a cat with a canary’s feather in its teeth.

  “I wish you’d take off your shirt.”

  That certainly wasn’t what he was expecting to hear. Contessa Von Hellengaard was a witch in a million. Someone at Fairy Godmother Inc. had done him a good turn indeed when they’d assigned Tessa’s case to him. Of course, they’d likely just wanted to pass the buck after reading her file.

  He stood and pu
lled his t-shirt off over his head.

  The look on her face was priceless.

  He watched her eyes wander over his body. He didn’t feel the least bit self-conscious. Not after the hours he put in at the gym every morning. It was actually nice to have his hard work appreciated.

  “Turn around.” Her voice sounded far less imperious than usual.

  He did as she bid. He knew what she was after and it wasn’t her first fairy experience between silk sheets with him. She was looking for wings.

  He was more than happy to give her an eyeful.

  ***

  Tessa drew in her breath, grateful Liam’s back was toward her and he couldn’t see her shock. She hadn’t even been sure he really had wings at all, and these certainly weren’t what she had imagined them to be. She wanted to touch them.

  She took a step closer. His shoulders and back were sculpted muscles unlike any she’d ever seen. She reached out but hesitated.

  “Go ahead,” Liam said. “They’re real.”

  Tessa gingerly laid her fingers on the base of Liam’s neck and traced along the magnificently intricate winged pattern. An electric sensation sizzled through her fingers. His skin was smooth to the touch. Was this a tattoo? No. The wings were gold against his bronzed skin. They didn’t resemble the dark, inky tattoos she’d seen on mortals.

  She stopped abruptly. What was that feeling? Energy coursed through her hands. Her magic was back. Delighted, she pulled her hands from his back and lifted her forefinger. She tapped it against her palm. Nothing. She tried harder.

  Liam turned to face her, his expression unreadable. He reached for his t-shirt and slipped it over his head and proceeded to tuck it into his Levis without taking his eyes off of her.

  “You haven’t earned back your magic, Tessa.”

  “But I felt something,” she protested. She tapped her finger impatiently against her palm. “I know I did.”

  “Chemistry perhaps, but not magic.”