Tranquility

by Laurie Gardiner

  “Sam,” I said, taking him by the arm and guiding him back inside. “Just the guy I was looking for. I have a job for you.”

  I took him to the lounge, opened a cupboard in the entertainment center and pulled out a plastic bin filled with hundreds of buttons. I placed the bin on the table and began sorting the buttons into piles. “I need these sorted, Sam. See, there’s a pile for brown, one for white, this one’s for black….”

  Sam sat down and started sorting. A few other residents wandered over to see what we were doing. I explained to them what to do, then stood back and watched as a few of them sat down to help Sam.

  Satisfied I’d successfully distracted him from attempting to leave the unit, I went to Hall B to make beds. Tracey was off that day and Maria preferred to make her residents’ beds on her own. I started at the far end of the hall with Mrs. Sellers’ bed and worked my way toward the main hall.

  I was working on Lily’s bed when I heard Rose in the hallway. She stuttered more than usual and her voice was shrill with anxiety. “G-g-go away.”

  I was on my way to the door before I even heard John’s voice.

  “Stupid, ugly girl. You look like a pig.” He made snorting noises as he followed Rose down the hall.

  Rose began to cry. She covered her ears with her hands and tried to move away from him. He stayed right behind her, laughing and making pig noises over her shoulder.

  I hurried down the hall to fall into step beside her, wrapped my arm around her shoulders, and pulled her protectively against my side. She stopped and hid her face in my shoulder.

  John stopped a few feet away and looked at me uncertainly. I pointed toward Hall A. “Your room is that way, John. Why don’t you go find it?”

  “My room?” He looked around, taking in his surroundings as though he’d never seen them before. He squinted at me suspiciously. “What are you—?”

  “John! I’ve been looking for you,” Maria said, coming out of the room behind us. He looked around in surprise. Before he could say a word, she took him by the arm and led him away. “Come into the solarium with me. Let’s see if the cardinals are there.”

  He followed willingly, easily distracted by the mention of birds.

  I sighed in relief. The look on his face before Maria had stepped in had made me a little uneasy. I pulled Rose in for a proper hug and rubbed her back comfortingly. “It’s okay, Rose. He’s gone.”

  I led her to her room where I helped her wash her face and blow her nose. I wiped the tears and snot off my shirt where she’d cried all over it and washed my hands. Before I left the room, I got her settled into her armchair and turned on her little TV.

  I went to the twins’ room to finish making their beds. When I went back to Rose’s room a few minutes later, she was asleep in her chair. I turned the TV down and moved about the room quietly, tidying and making Rose’s bed. Weekends were hard for her now that she’d become so attached to Georgia. She didn’t know what to do with herself when Georgia was gone, and was more anxious and easily agitated.

  Rose had come along late in her parents’ lives. When her father had died, her mother had put Rose into Tranquility. A short time later, she’d passed away as well. Georgia had become like a surrogate parent to Rose. When she was gone, I spent a lot of time distracting Rose and finding things to keep her busy. Unfortunately, John also spent more time terrorizing her without Georgia around to act as her protector.

  I left Rose and moved on to Sam’s room. As soon as I walked in, I knew one of the men had relieved himself somewhere other than in the toilet. The smell of urine was strong. It hadn’t smelled earlier when I’d come in to wake them, so it had likely happened right after breakfast.

  I followed the smell to the wastebasket in the corner and sighed in relief. It could have been much worse. I pulled on a pair of gloves and exchanged the urine-soaked garbage bag with a clean one.

  I was making Sam’s bed when I heard a scream. Rose. I dropped the blanket and raced out of the room. Maria came out of a room across the hall and we ran to Rose’s room together.

  Rose lay on the floor in an awkward position, holding her left arm close to her body and moaning in pain. John paced in front of her, waving his hands and muttering under his breath. I tried to go to her, but he roared in anger when I moved toward them. Tracey, the one person who could occasionally calm him, wasn’t there.

  “John?” I said. No response. I repeated his name more loudly, trying to get his attention. Again, no response, but he was clearly becoming more agitated by the sound of my voice.

  I glanced at Maria and whispered, “How did he get back here so fast?”

  “I don’t know. I left him in the solarium watching the birds. He seemed fine.”

  I shook my head in disgust. “He can’t bloody well remember where his own room is half the time, but he has no trouble finding Rose’s.”

  “Amazing how their minds work sometimes isn’t it? I’m going into the bathroom to ring the call bell. Need to get some help in here.” Maria moved away slowly, keeping a wary eye on John.

  Rose’s moaning had turned to painful sobs. Judging by the awkward angle of her arm and the way she cradled it, I guessed it was broken. I moved to the wall and edged my way slowly toward her.

  John stopped pacing and moved directly in front of me. His fists were balled at his sides and his expression was hard. “Stay away.”

  “John, I’m going to see Rose. She’s hurt. I need to help her.”

  “Mind your own damn business,” he growled. He began to pace again slowly, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. His body was taut as though ready to pounce.

  A shiver of fear went through me. I saw Maria out of the corner of my eye and was relieved when she was standing beside me again.

  “Done,” she said. “Let’s hope someone notices it.”

  Rose struggled to sit up, but couldn’t push herself off the floor with one arm. The injured arm was left dangling and hit the floor as she slumped back down. She screamed in pain.

  John marched over to where she lay, looked down at her and yelled, “Shut-up!”

  Rose curled into a ball, cradling her arm against her trembling body, and began to sob softly.

  John seemed to lose interest in her and went back to pacing. His mutterings were interspersed with loud outbursts and wild arm gestures.

  I tried again to sneak past while he was distracted, but he put himself between me and Rose. I cupped my hand over my mouth and spoke so only Maria could hear. “Do you think you can distract him, so I can go to Rose?”

  “Don’t you think we should wait for help?”

  “No one else here is going near him. We’ll have to wait for the police like last time.”

  Maria looked skeptical.

  “Look, if I don’t go to her, he might hurt her again.”

  She sighed in resignation. “Fine. What do you want me to do?”

  I refrained from rolling my eyes. Think of something, I thought. “I don’t know, put something between you and him and say something to get his attention. Just don’t let him get between you and the door.”

  Maria went to the side of Rose’s bed closest to the door, putting the bed between herself and John. She said John’s name three times loudly before he finally looked at her. “Why don’t you come to the lounge with me, John? I’ll get you something to drink and you can watch TV.”

  He laughed hysterically. “Something to drink? I’d love a Scotch, but the bitch won’t let me!” He bellowed the last word and pounded his fist against his chest as he swung around to face Maria. He leapt at the bed.

  Maria shrieked and jumped back, nearly tripping over her feet in her haste. She backed right out the door as John proceeded to rip apart the bed I had just made so carefully.

  I ran behind John to where Rose lay, took her right hand in mine and whispered, “It’s okay, Rose. I’m here.”

  Maria stood outside the room, calling down the hall for help.

  John was in a complete rag
e now. He tore Rose’s sheets off the bed and threw her pillow and blankets across the room. “Get me a Goddamn drink. I want a drink!” He pulled the mattress off the bed, heaved it onto the floor, and kicked it. It slid wildly across the floor, stopping at Rose’s feet.

  I worked quickly, keeping an eye on John while I checked Rose’s head, face and joints for any signs of injury. I was careful not to touch the arm, but could see it was bent at an unnatural angle. It was definitely broken.

  John became quiet suddenly. I glanced up to see him looking around the room. His gaze settled on the chair in the corner and he strode across the room toward it.

  Oh, shit, I thought. I scrambled across the floor, grabbed the end of Rose’s mattress and pulled it toward me. The sound of voices in the hall registered vaguely in my mind as I leaned back and pulled the mattress over Rose and me. “Look out!” I yelled, peering out from under the edge of the mattress.

  The chair hit the wall beside the door, broke and crashed to the floor just as Carol and Emily appeared with Maria. They threw their arms over their heads, jumped back and crouched down against the wall in the hallway.

  Emily peeked through her fingers at me and Rose huddled under the mattress. “Stay there, Sarah,” she said, coming slowly to her feet. “I’m going to get help.” She disappeared down the hall.

  John seemed to have gotten the worst of the rage out of his system with that last violent outburst. He went back to pacing and mumbling under his breath.

  Carol stood in the doorway, taking in the scene inside the room. Maria hung back in the hallway. Neither of the women made any move to step inside the room. I didn’t blame them, but John no longer concerned me now that he’d calmed down. My concern at the moment was for Rose, who was still whimpering in pain.

  Watching John from the corner of my eye, I crept to Georgia’s bed and grabbed her pillow and a blanket. I hurried back to Rose, whispering words of comfort as I tucked the pillow under her head and covered her with the blanket.

  Maria quietly filled Carol in on what had happened. A few curious residents milled around in the hallway outside the door. Carol gathered them up and sent them down the hall toward the lounge.

  I sat down beside Rose, took her hand in mine, and waited.

  Police and paramedics arrived within minutes of each other. John became violent again when he saw the police. It took two burly cops and a paramedic to bring him under control enough to strap him to a gurney. Two paramedics left with John. He cursed and struggled all the way out the door. Kyle, the paramedic Tracey was now seeing, and his partner, checked Rose over carefully and prepared to take her to the hospital for x-rays and treatment. It broke my heart to see her taken away, frightened and crying, but Kyle was surprisingly gentle with her.

  I spoke to the police, answered their questions and filled them in on the details of the incident. After they left, I went to the nurse’s station to fill out an incident report. As I pulled out the binder and sat down at the desk, I caught myself thinking that I had a good story to tell Mom and Gran that night. But Gran’s not there. The thought hit me like a punch to the gut, knocking the wind right out of me. I let my head drop into my hands as I struggled to breathe.

  “Sarah? What’s wrong, lass?”

  I took a deep, unsteady breath and looked up to see Edie peering over the top of the desk with a concerned look on her face. “Nothing. Just a bit of a headache.”

  “More than a bit, I’d say. You’re as white as a ghost. Do you want me to get the nurse?”

  “No, Edie. Thanks for your concern, but I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine,” she said, pointing a chastising finger in my direction. “You’re tryin’ to do too much. You need to take some time for yourself now and then.”

  I thought of Kayla, Mom and Gran. They all needed me in different ways. By the end of the day, the only time I had for myself was for sleeping. I managed a weak smile. “I’ll try.”

  Chapter 18 - First Date

  I PICKED KAYLA UP FROM her friend Amelia’s house on my way home from work. Mom had dropped her off there a few hours earlier, and then had gone to spend some time with Gran at the hospital.

  I put a movie on for Kayla to watch while I showered and changed. She was still immersed in it when I came out of my bedroom, so I wandered into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

  I plugged in the kettle and checked my phone for messages. There were a few texts from Tracey describing the various forms of torture she was certain would be less painful than the boredom of spending a cold, rainy Saturday in March at home, alone. Wish u had day off so we cud b bored 2gether, was the last message she’d sent. I would call her before I went to the hospital to relieve Mom. But first, I would take Edie’s advice.

  I called Jay. He sounded out of breath when he answered and I could hear voices and the clang of metal in the background. “Did I get you at a bad time?” I asked.

  “No, I’m just finishing up at the gym. I’m heading into the showers. Can I call you back in twenty?”

  It felt like the longest twenty minutes of my life.

  I took my tea into the living room and snuggled on the couch with Kayla. We watched as Marty the zebra was shot from a cannon. He flew through the air gracefully and then hit the side of a cliff. Kayla burst into giggles. She’d watched it countless times since getting it for Christmas the year before and still laughed uncontrollably at the animals’ antics.

  My phone vibrated inside my sweater pocket. I kissed Kayla’s head, lifted her off my lap and set her on the couch before I went into the kitchen to answer it.

  “Hi, Sarah. Sorry about that,” Jay said.

  “No, no, it’s fine.” I felt nervous suddenly. “I, uh, was calling to see if you were still interested in dinner.”

  He chuckled softly. “Of course I am. Are you busy tonight?”

  I started to object to the short notice and caught myself. I’d already messed up with him once and gotten a second chance. I would make tonight work.

  We made plans for seven. That would give me time to go to the hospital for a couple of hours before dinner. I felt a twinge of guilt when I sent Mom a text asking if she minded watching Kayla. I was sure she’d be tired from her day at the hospital, but I also knew Kayla would be a welcome distraction from her worries.

  I blow-dried my hair and put on makeup while Kayla finished watching the movie. She came running into the bedroom as I was putting on a pair of silver hoop earrings. “Mommy, why do you look so pretty? Are you going out?”

  “I am. Nana’s coming home soon to look after you. I’m going to the hospital to see Gran, then out for dinner with a friend.”

  “With Tracey?”

  “No, with Jay, the guy I had coffee with.” I put on lipstick, checked my teeth in the mirror and put the tube in my purse. I smiled when I thought of how often I’d watched Gran do the exact same thing.

  “Is he hansome, Mommy?”

  “Yes, very handsome, and nice and charming. And he smiles a lot and has big dimples.”

  “As big as mine?”

  I gave her a wide-eyed look of wonder. “Maybe even bigger.” I picked up my purse and took Kayla’s hand as we left the bedroom. “I think we have time for a card game before Nana gets home.”

  ”Go Fish!” Kayla yelled, charging into the living room to find a deck of cards.

  I breathed a sigh of relief, glad for once that she had such a short attention span. The tough questions had been avoided for the time being.

  * * *

  Before I went to the hospital, I called Tracey and filled her in about the incident with John and Rose.

  She was outraged. “Damn it, why don’t they listen to us? I told Abby John was dangerous. She knew he was harassing Rose. They never do anything about it until it’s too late.”

  “I know, Trace. It’s the same with Sheila. The nurses know what she’s like, but they won’t do anything about it until she hurts someone so badly they have no choice.”

  Tracey
sighed in exasperation and changed the subject. “I need to get out of this apartment. I was so bored today I actually cleaned. Wanna go out tonight?”

  I felt a twinge of guilt. “I can’t, sorry.”

  “Oh, c’mon, don’t give me that crap about having to work tomorrow. I have to—”

  “Tracey, I have a date tonight.”

  “Oh. Oh! Good. With Jay?”

  “Yeah, we’re going out for dinner.”

  “Don’t forget to stop at the drugstore.”

  I laughed. “My God, Trace, it’s our first real date.”

  “So? I want all the juicy details tomorrow.”

  “There won’t be any juicy details.”

  I could practically hear her pouting through the phone when she said, “You’re no fun. And what am I supposed to do tonight?”

  “I don’t know. Call Kyle.”

  “Yeah, I guess. He was my second choice anyway.”

  “Poor guy,” I said. “I’m sure you’ll make it up to him. In fact, maybe you should make a trip to the drugstore.”

  “Pffft, I don’t think so. He moves slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.”

  I was still laughing when I hung up the phone a few minutes later.

  * * *

  It had been a week since Gran’s stroke and there was still no change. She drifted in and out of consciousness, never speaking and barely moving. Her breathing was labored and because she was immobile, she was at risk for pneumonia. The head of her bed was kept in a raised position to help keep her lungs clear.

  I stood at the side of the bed stroking her hair lightly as I told her about my day. She moaned and turned her head to the side. A trail of drool ran from her mouth, down her chin and I wiped it gently away with a tissue. Fishing an ice chip from the cup on the nightstand, I ran it across her lips. She turned her head toward it eagerly, like a baby rooting instinctively at the breast. I left it a second longer, letting her savor this one last pleasure. She sighed when I took it away.