Tranquility

by Laurie Gardiner

  I slipped my phone into my pocket, lifted the plant down and inspected it. The fake ivy was thick enough to hide a small camera. There was a piece of green foam inside that the stems were stuck into. The camera could sit on top of it. I put the plant back in its place and wiped my dusty hands on my pants. Judging by the thick layer of dust on the top of the cabinet, no one had been up there in years.

  I stepped down, folded the stool, put it back in the closet and went to the door. I stood for a moment and listened. Tracey was whistling. I opened the door a crack. “All clear?” I whispered.

  She rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t be whistling if it wasn’t.”

  “I know. I’m just paranoid.”

  I closed the door and locked it while Tracey put the supply cart back in place. We walked casually toward Hall B to make our rounds.

  “Get any pics?” Tracey asked.

  I nodded, looking around nervously to be sure no one could hear us.

  “Okay, maybe we should do this at my place. More privacy. I’m going out with Kyle tonight. You free right after work?”

  “No, I have to pick Kayla up and spend some time with her before I go to the hospital. I have tomorrow off.”

  Tracey laughed. “I’m working tomorrow. I’ll call you later. We’ll figure it out.”

  I popped my head into Mrs. Sellers’ room. She was sleeping. Edie would be with Tom and Anne until two o’clock sharp, when Anne, as was her custom, would stand up and announce it was time to leave. Georgia had been signed out for the night and Sam, Rose and the twins were in the lounge, watching the Saturday afternoon movie. I glanced into the twins’ room, certain it would be empty, and the next two as well. Once I had checked all the rooms, I met up with Tracey again and we headed to the lounge.

  Tracey asked, “So, what are you up to tonight?”

  “I have a date later too, with Jay.”

  The sound of Gene Kelly, singing and tap dancing through the rain, drifted out of the lounge.

  “Hey,” Tracey said, “I have an idea. Wanna go out together tonight? I mean, if the guys want to.”

  “I’d be okay with that. Ask Kyle first and let me know what he says, then I’ll talk to Jay.”

  We walked into the lounge. Rose, Lily and Beth were there. Sam was not. “Where’s Sam?” I asked the twins.

  Lily and Rose stared at me blankly. Beth said, “Sam who?”

  I sighed and left the lounge to look for him.

  “Check the courtyard. All that rain in stereo probably gave him the urge,” Tracey called after me.

  She was right of course. I found Sam, wearing only his iPod and his underwear, dancing in the courtyard.

  * * *

  Kyle and Jay were fine with the idea of a double date. I’d had little free time to spend with Jay, so I felt a momentary twinge of regret when Tracey texted me to say it was a go. It didn’t last long and as I got ready, I found myself feeling excited over the prospect of a night out with friends. It was a part of my youth I’d given up when I’d decided to keep Kayla. Not once had I regretted keeping her, but I sometimes regretted missing out.

  Mom offered to take Kayla to McDonald’s for dinner. It was a treat she only got about once a month, so she chattered excitedly about it all the way out the door. I barely even got a wave goodbye.

  Tracey and Kyle were already at The Queen’s when Jay and I arrived and had managed to get a booth. They shared a seat, so we slid onto the other bench together. “Wow, you’re early,” I whispered across the table to Tracey.

  She grinned. “I know. It’s Kyle’s fault. He hates being late.”

  I introduced Jay to Kyle. They shook hands and immediately began to discuss the hockey game playing on the flat screen above the bar. I looked at Tracey and rolled my eyes.

  “Men,” she mouthed. She snuggled closer to Kyle and he put his arm around her shoulders. She looked so small next to him, yet they fit together so well.

  The boys turned their attention to us after the waitress came around, and the four of us talked and laughed easily throughout dinner.

  As usual, Tracey’s bright smile and contagious laughter attracted attention from the men in the room. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. As the night went on, Kyle sat up a little taller in his seat and his arm tightened possessively around her shoulders. Tracey, in her typical carefree way, was oblivious to the tension building in the room.

  After the waitress finished clearing the dishes from the table, I put a hand on my stomach and groaned, “I’m way too full. I need to get up and move around. You guys want to go in the back room and play pool?”

  Jay and Kyle looked at each other.

  “There’s a TV back there,” I said.

  Kyle shrugged one shoulder. “Sounds good to me.”

  We spent the next hour playing in teams of couples. Jay and I were sadly outmatched and lost all three games. We left the pub around ten-thirty, as it was starting to get busy. Tracey had to work the next morning so she and Kyle decided to call it a night. Jay and I walked to the café down the street for coffee. We sat at a quiet table in the corner and ordered two decaf-mochas.

  “That was fun,” Jay said. “Kyle seems like a nice guy.”

  “He is. I like him.”

  “Good job distracting him with pool. I was afraid he might hurt someone.”

  “You noticed that too, huh?”

  “Uh-huh. He better get used to it or he’s going to spend a lot of time being jealous and miserable.”

  We sat in the café and talked until closing time. Neither of us was ready for the night to end, so we strolled up and down the main street and talked some more. Jay took my hand. He twined his fingers through mine and didn’t let go until we got to the car.

  Conversation flowed easily on the drive to my house. I turned to Jay when we pulled into the driveway behind Mom’s car. “Thanks, I had a nice night.”

  “Me too.” He looked at my mouth, then reached out and ran his thumb gently across my bottom lip.

  I shivered involuntarily and closed my eyes.

  “Is your lip still sore?”

  My eyes flew open. “Pardon?”

  “Your lip is still a little bruised. Would it hurt if I kissed you?”

  “Oh. No.”

  “Good, because I’ve been wanting to all night.” The kiss was slow and gentle, and not nearly long enough. He pulled away. “How was that?”

  “Mmm, hard to tell. I think we should try it again.”

  * * *

  Tracey called me the next day when she got home from work and we agreed to meet later that evening to look at the pictures of the bathing room and make a plan. I stopped by her place on my way to the hospital. She gave me a quick tour. The apartment was a one-bedroom in an old, stone building. It had high ceilings, original wood trim, hardwood floors and a wall of floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room. She’d decorated it with bright colors and an eclectic collection of furniture and art. One piece of artwork caught my eye. It was a simple unframed canvas hanging above the fireplace. I wasn’t normally a fan of abstract art, but the vibrant colors exploded off the canvas like a tidal wave of fire and water.

  “This is amazing,” I said. “I feel like I’m standing on the rocks overlooking the ocean and the world’s on fire around me.” Tracey looked at me oddly. For a moment I thought she might cry. “What’s wrong?” I asked

  “It’s mine. I painted it.”

  “You—Oh, my God, Trace. It’s beautiful.”

  She smiled and turned to look at the painting with me. “You’re the first person who’s ever seen it the way I do.”

  Tracey went to the kitchen to pour us some wine while I set the laptop up on the coffee table. She came in a few minutes later, handed me a glass of red wine and took a seat on the couch beside me.

  I showed Tracey the pictures of the bathing room. She agreed the best place for the camera was on top of the cabinet, hidden in the fake ivy. Putting it up so high did create a problem, however.

 
; “I’m putting it up there blind,” I said. “We could end up with three hours of footage of the floor or the wall.”

  We were deep in thought for a moment. Finally, Tracey had an idea. “We’ll do a dry run tomorrow. Who knows, we might get something good. If not, at least we’ll know if it’s in the right place. Is the camera ready to go?”

  “It is, but I‘m not sure if I like that idea. The more we mess around in that room, the more chance of getting caught.”

  “Sarah, we’re allowed to be in there, that’s why we have a key. If somebody walks in, we say a resident lost something.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know, like their comb, a slipper-something they take to the bathing room with them. You’re worrying too much about somebody seeing us. No one’s gonna care if we’re in there, except maybe Sheila, and we’ll be out way before she shows up for work.”

  Tracey was right, of course. I worried too much. It was my pessimistic inner voice telling me all the things that could go wrong.

  We met the next morning in the parking lot, twenty minutes before our shift. Tracey got in my car and we went over our plan as we drank our morning coffee. I checked and double-checked my bag to make sure I had the camera.

  After I zipped it up the second time, Tracey asked, “Sure you don’t want me to go in and hide the camera?”

  “No, I told you, I want you involved as little as possible.”

  “Then take a deep breath and calm yourself. It’s not a friggin’ bank job. You’re not doing anything wrong and you’ll be in and out in less than five minutes.”

  I took a couple deep breaths. “Okay, let’s go,” I said before I could change my mind.

  I pulled the camera out of my bag in the change room and put it in the big side pocket of my scrub shirt. I turned toward Tracey. “Can you see it?”

  “Not really, it’s pretty small. Put your hand in your pocket and hold onto it.”

  I did as she said.

  She gave a satisfied nod and checked her phone before placing it on the shelf in her locker. “It’s twenty after. Let’s go.”

  A night shift support worker was on her way into the change room as we left. I smiled and hoped I didn’t look as nervous as I felt. Tracey said a cheery good morning and held the door open for her. We walked through Hall B without seeing anyone and turned the corner into the next hall. I breathed a little easier when I saw that it was empty.

  “Okay,” Tracey whispered, unlocking the bathing room door and holding it open for me.

  I walked hesitantly into the room and flicked on the light. Tracey closed the door gently behind me. A few seconds later, I heard her whistling. I took a deep steadying breath and hurried to the closet to get the stool. I unfolded it and put it in place, pulled the camera out of my pocket, turned it on and climbed onto the stool. Reaching up, I placed the camera in the pot on top of the foam block for a quick test shoot, then took it down and played it back. Satisfied the angle was right, I put it back up, making sure it was well hidden.

  The sound of voices in the hallway stopped my heart. I stood perfectly still and listened. Tracey said something I couldn’t make out. A moment later, it was quiet again. She whistled and tapped lightly on the door. I stepped down, grabbed the stool, stuffed it back into the closet and took one last look up at the plant to be sure the camera couldn’t be seen. I flicked off the light and opened the door a crack.

  Tracey stood there jingling the keys impatiently in one hand. She looked both ways down the hall and nodded. “Let’s go,” she said.

  I hurried out and she locked the door. We walked at a casual pace back to Hall B. “We’ll talk later,” Tracey said before she veered off into Mrs. Martin’s room.

  I went about my work and was wheeling Mrs. Sellers into the auditorium for Pet Therapy when Tracey caught up to me again. She had Mrs. Amaral, who greeted me with her usual enthusiasm. We placed the women side by side behind the rows of chairs, where no one would trip over their wheelchairs.

  Mrs. Amaral grabbed onto Tracey’s hand before she could walk away. She gazed up at her pleadingly and said something in Portuguese.

  Tracey crouched down to eye level to reassure her. “It’s okay. I’ll be back to get you soon. Tara’s gonna show you the animals.”

  Mrs. Amaral loosened her grip. Tracey pulled her hand free and we went back to Hall B together to start tidying rooms and making beds.

  Tracey glanced over her shoulder to be sure no one was behind us. “Did you get it set up,” she asked in a hushed voice.

  I nodded. “I heard voices. Who was in the hall with you?”

  “It was just Tina’s resident, Mrs. Murray. She always gets up early and wanders around.”

  “It scared the crap out of me. I was still shaking an hour later.”

  Tracey smirked. “Yeah, you looked pretty scared when you came out.”

  We said hello to Carol as she passed us in the hall. She pushed Mrs. W in her wheelchair toward the auditorium. Three other residents followed along behind. She gave us a frosty nod as she walked by.

  I waited until they were out of earshot to speak. “I’m not kidding, Trace. This whole thing gives me the jitters. I think we shouldn’t talk about it at work at all. It’s not worth being overheard.”

  “You’re right. Sorry, I know it makes you nervous. We have to get the camera back today, though.”

  “I know. Meet me near the bathing room at twenty after two.”

  Chapter 25 - The Preview

  I CUT MY VISIT WITH GRAN short that night and went to Tracey’s to watch the footage. We got comfortable on the couch with the laptop and glasses of wine before Tracey started the video. She skipped ahead until we saw the door open and Sheila enter the room. The camera was angled a little high and only caught Sheila from the waist up, but the tub and lift were in full view. We decided I could solve that problem by placing the back of the camera on the edge of the pot to angle it down slightly.

  “This is weird,” I said. “I feel like a voyeur.”

  “Oh, c’mon. We’ve seen most of them naked before anyway.”

  “I know, but this is different. It just feels wrong.”

  “You’re right. It kind of does. But it’s for the right reasons.”

  Sheila’s voice was obnoxiously loud and condescending. She used crass names for various body parts and didn’t seem to notice or care that she offended the residents. She left them hanging naked in the air, as I’d seen her do with Mrs. Martin. When a resident became upset or obstinate, her voice rose even more and she banged things in frustration.

  Rose’s bath was the last one recorded before the battery died. She was slow getting undressed because of her cast. Sheila finally became so impatient that she practically ripped the robe off Rose’s body, causing her to lose her balance. Sheila grabbed onto her good arm and half-carried her to the lift.

  When Rose complained the water was cold, Sheila told her to shut-up. She didn’t wrap Rose’s cast in plastic as she should have. She propped it on the side of the tub and barked at Rose every time she moved it.

  She worked quickly and efficiently, scrubbing Rose’s whole body except her privates. She dropped the cloth into the water in front of her and said, “Here you go. Wash your fish.”

  Rose lifted her injured arm off the tub as though to reach for the cloth.

  “Not that arm, you retard!” Sheila plunged her arm into the water and came up with the cloth. She slapped it into Rose’s good hand and walked away.

  A tear rolled down Rose’s cheek as she stared at the cloth. She was so cold her shivering caused little ripples in the water.

  “Hurry it up,” Sheila said. “Your time’s almost up.”

  Another tear spilled over and Rose began to sob softly.

  The screen went blank.

  Tracey and I sat in stunned silence, staring at the laptop.

  “Poor Rose,” I said finally. “I can’t believe I send her into that room twice a week to be treated that way.”
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br />   Tracey was furious. She stood up and began to pace. “Oh, no. You’re not allowed to feel guilty. You’re the only one who’s had the guts to stand up to that bitch.”

  “Do you think it’s enough? Maybe we don’t have to go back in for Mrs. W’s bath.”

  “Oh no, we’re gonna do this right.”

  My shoulders slumped. My stomach was in knots just thinking about having to sneak in there again.

  Tracey sat down across from me. She leaned in close and put her hand on my knee. I’d never seen her look so intense. “It’s not enough, Sarah.” She jerked her thumb at the laptop. “That’s no worse than what she did to Mrs. W that day in the dining room in front of everybody. And she only got a slap on the wrist for that. We need more.”

  I took a deep breath and thought of Rose, sobbing and shivering in the tub. “You’re right.”

  Tracey smiled encouragingly and leaned back in her chair. “I checked the bath schedule today. Mrs. W’s next bath is Thursday and Edie has one right after. I’m working Thursday. Are you?”

  “I am.”

  “Perfect. Thursday it is.”

  * * *

  Mom was home when I got there. She was sitting in the armchair in the living room, staring into the fireplace.

  I sat down on the sofa, across from her. “You okay, Mom?”

  She stared at me blankly for a moment. “Sarah. I didn’t even hear you come in.”

  “I just got home, I stopped by Tracey’s for a bit. I sent you a text to let you know I’d be late.”

  “My phone is… I’m not sure where it is.”

  I looked at her closely. Her eyes were sad and empty. The gleam of hope was gone. “What’s wrong?”

  Mom got up and stood by the fireplace, gazing up at the pictures on the mantle. She ran a finger lightly over a picture of Gran sitting in her old convertible, looking sun-kissed and windblown from the drive.

  “I know she’s not coming back. I’ve known it for a while, but I kept hoping she’d pull through somehow.” She turned to face me, her expression full of guilt. “Today I found myself wondering why she’s still alive. I thought, If only she’d let go, I wouldn’t have to decide. My God, Sarah, I was sitting there, holding her hand, almost hoping for her to die! What kind of person am I?” Tears streamed down her face.