Soul to Keep

by Rebekah Weatherspoon

  “I think that works.”

  She kissed me again. “Good.”

  And again.

  If I wasn’t so eager to tally the surveys she’d brought with her, we might have been at it all night. Or at least until the library closed.

  Chapter Ten

  Tokyo

  Yeah, yeah. I said we should keep things organic. But I had a plan. Another study session at the library Thursday night, with two “spontaneous” make-out sessions in the stacks. Friday night, I’d try to forget she was there during our movie night feeding. That was going to be a little hard, and weird, but we’d get through that, and then Saturday night, late in the Halloween festivities, I’d pull her away and we’d seal the deal.

  We walked back to the row, Tuesday night after leaving the library. I’d conveniently parked the decoy car I was borrowing from Omi’s wife in front of the OBA house. We said good night to Van and James, and like clockwork, my phone started blowing up. Nine p.m. on the dot, and my girls were checking in. Six texts in rapid succession. Jill followed suit and shot Ginger a text letting her know that she was just outside and would be in in a minute.

  I walked her to the door. We said good night. Almost kissed, but Lydia and Ava came sprinting up the stairs and interrupted that. Jill offered to take things back out to the street, back to the car. But I remembered there were things worse than me bumping in the night. I pulled her to the side of the porch. Kissed her in the shadows for a long time, until she was breathless, until I was breathless for air I didn’t really need.

  Florencia came outside with a cup of tea, to pretend like she wasn’t waiting for the rest of the girls to come home. She pretended she didn’t see us or know we were there. She watched me skeptically as I said good night to Jill and a shy hello to her. I almost dropped my form when she looked at me, her eyes narrowing further in suspicion. I’m sure that would have affected the pure conditions of Jill’s experiment. The fewer people who knew the better. Jill went inside and I drove Mary’s Mercedes down to Moreland’s where she was letting me stash it. I needed to burn off this energy. I needed to fuck someone and feed. I almost rang Moreland’s doorbell. I almost vanished to Juniper’s for the blood that would quench a fraction of what was stirring inside me.

  But the best thing for me to do was head back to the house. Which I did. I checked on Yaz and Navaeh who were up watching TV. Chelsea, fresh from the shower, was free. I grabbed her for a quick feed and fuck. But that barely worked. I thought about doing rounds after our post sister counseling meeting with D’Monique and Carrie, but the meeting ran forever. When I finally got away, after being debriefed about Ashley and her ED issues and Tierra’s parents who were suddenly divorcing, it was almost two in the morning, and for once, Jill was already asleep. I took this as cue enough to get my patience under control. I’d see Jill soon. A hundred and fifty-some-odd years without sleeping with her, almost as long without knowing her. I was fairly certain I could make it a full day and a half without seeing her.

  I made it exactly twenty-two hours.

  ❖

  Jill

  I was dreaming. James and I were having the weirdest conversation with Papa and the Hulk in a field of black corn. I kept asking the Hulk where the bathroom was. I had to pee so bad. Finally, I woke up and power-walked to the bathroom. When I came back to my room, my cell phone was vibrating on my nightstand. Had I missed a text earlier? Even the vibrations usually woke me up. It was a text from “Bridgette.”

  Come outside

  I looked at the time stamp. She’d just sent it.

  Did you make me pee? I sent back. It seemed awfully weird that she’d texted me the second I’d gotten up to use the bathroom.

  What? No. Our senses are freakish. I heard you get up. But you’re up. Come outside.

  Ginger’s not gonna freak out? I sent back. It was two in the morning.

  I got this. Just put on something warm and come outside.

  I thought about it for more than a moment. It was a school night. I had class first thing in the morning. And what if Ginger wasn’t really okay with this? She wouldn’t do anything to me, but I didn’t want Tokyo to get into trouble. And then part of me realized that I should go. This was what teenagers do, even though I wasn’t technically a teenager anymore, but I had missed this part. I’d never snuck out in high school. Never done anything remotely wrong. Never done anything dangerous, if you didn’t count offering myself up to Ginger as a dangerous thing to do. I owed myself some reckless fun.

  Okay. I’m coming.

  I gathered up my things, including my keys, my phone, and my student ID badge, out of habit, and went to the bathroom to get changed. Portia wasn’t a light sleeper, but if she woke up, I’d rather be gone than have to explain to my roommate why I was hopping into my jeans in the middle of the night. The rumors of my new girlfriend had already made their way around the house, but I didn’t want to add to the gossip train. Once I was ready, I crept down to the study lounge and hid my pajamas under the couch. No one would check there before I got back.

  I’d had the quiet of the house to myself plenty of times, but I never knew how quiet it was when I was distracted by my homework. I tiptoed down the stairs in the near dark. Just the two dim sconces on the stairs. The alarm on the front door was usually armed at 9:30 p.m., but I saw the little flashing green light at the port above the door. Tokyo must have deactivated it. I stepped outside, closing the door behind me, but I didn’t see Tokyo anywhere. I jumped when I heard the alarm beeping, like it was suddenly armed.

  And I jumped again when Tokyo appeared suddenly in front of me.

  “Goodness!” I gasped. “Don’t do that.”

  She laughed because giving a twenty-year-old a heart attack was hilarious. “Sorry. You ready?” she asked me in French. It was easier to respond in kind.

  “Sure. Ehr…where are we going?”

  “Don’t make me ruin the surprise. Come on. Let’s go.” I let her take my hand, and we started walking. Down the stairs and on toward campus.

  We walked in silence for a long time. The Row was surprisingly quiet. The OBA kept the same curfew as we did, and most of the other frats and sororities also had some sort of check-in time, but I knew the OBA boys had their late foolishness from time to time. I expected to at least hear a little commotion as we made our way through the private township, but I barely heard a peep. That quiet scared me. The farther away we got from the house the quieter it seemed to get. I could only hear our steps and our breathing. I wanted to say something, but the idea of creating a noise scared me even more.

  Tokyo squeezed my hand and pulled me a little closer.

  “Tell me about Jill,” she said finally, as we crossed the first major street. That put us on the main campus. Still, no one was around that I could see.

  I swallowed, scanning the trees and buildings in front of us. “You already know everything about me. You know everything about all us girls.”

  “I know what we have on file so to speak.” She tapped her temple. “And all the tidbits we’ve gleaned from being around you over the years, but I want to hear you tell it.”

  “There’s nothing to tell. You know I have no life. I have two friends and you know them. All I do is study and organize chapter wellness events. I want to be an OB/GYN, and I don’t want to open my own practice. I want to work in a clinic, and you know that’s why I’ve wanted to learn more languages. I don’t really have any hobbies. I’m an okay dancer. That’s me.”

  “You used to bake too. Why don’t you do that anymore?”

  That hit some sour notes. I felt my throat close up a little. I missed Dad and Papa.

  We were at campus center now, just near the library. There was a man asleep on one of the benches outside. My nerves shook again when I saw him move. What was it about being out on a night like this that scared me so much? We both kept quiet until we passed him.

  Tokyo bumped my shoulder. I still hadn’t answered her question. “Tell me.”

&nbs
p; “My dad is a pastry chef, but you know that too. That’s why he came to Montreal in the first place, but I’m sure you knew that too.”

  “I didn’t, actually,” she said. “I mean we get the goods on your parents, but unless you’re a legacy or there’s some huge red flag, we don’t get all the dirt.”

  I didn’t know if she was telling the truth, but that made sense. What would she need to know all about my fathers for? “Oh. Well, he and Papa…that was our thing. We created, we brûléed, we powdered, filled, glazed…we baked. Like all the time.”

  “And you used to bake all the time when you first moved into the house. What changed?”

  “Benny graduated.” It was weird to say it out loud. I didn’t have those feelings for her anymore. And I had figured out that they were based more on physical attraction and infatuation than real feelings, but there was something about Benny. She tolerated me and I think she made the others girl tolerate me too, as much as they could. But after Benny left…I looked over to see Tokyo peering at me as we walked. Really looking at me. “You weren’t expecting me to say that.”

  “You really loved her, huh?”

  I shook my head. “No. I just had a crush on her. And her breasts.”

  “Benny does have huge tits.”

  I don’t know why that made me laugh, but it did. “It’s strange that you remembered that about me. That I liked to bake so much.”

  “Steel trap. Fun part of being undead. Brain like I don’t know what. We keep everything upstairs.”

  “I know. I just never thought you noticed.”

  Tokyo gasped, like she was offended. “What do you mean? You brought all of us sister-queens cookies and cupcakes all the time. There were those mixed berry tarts and then your cake pop phase. That shit was good.”

  “I just—I thought you didn’t eat it. Ginger didn’t eat everything I made her.”

  “’Cause her mouth was filled with Camila cunt. Kina and I would sit up in her studio and pig out, all the time. But you were just baking for Benny that whole time?”

  “Hmm, it’s weird that you think that I loved her. Not weird. But accurate. It was about love. That’s what baking was about for me. I wanted Benny to love me and I wanted the other girls to like me. Plus we have bake sales eighteen times a semester so it’s not like my skills went completely to waste.”

  “But when Benny left?”

  “I think she took whatever tolerance the girls had for me with her. And then I think Skylar and Hollis were nice to me to get me out of Cleo’s way when they got back together. Once Cleo was gone and they were bound to Ginger, it was like they didn’t care anymore.”

  “They still call you Jaws.”

  “Yup. Last year, on the first day, I heard Hollis telling the new girls that I was the most annoying girl in the house and that they could feel free to tell me to shut up any time. So I just stopped talking around them unless I have to. You know, chapter business and stuff. ”

  “Jill.”

  “I know.”

  “Does Ginger know that?”

  “No, and I’m not going to tell her and neither are you. That just makes me a tattletale, and the girls already don’t like me. It would solve nothing. Anyway, it’s not like I joined the sorority to make friends. It’ll look great on med school applications.”

  “I’m sure it will. You should bake again. Not for the girls, but because you want to.”

  She still didn’t get it. I wanted to explain to her that I never baked for myself, and neither had Dad or Papa. We baked for others, for each other. For people we loved, and since no one in my life fit that mold—

  “Or you can just bake for me,” she said as she came to a sudden stop. We’d made it to the other side of the main campus. She was smiling at me when I faced her, practically showing all her teeth. Her fangs were hidden though.

  “How do you hide your fangs like that?”

  She winked at me. “Magic.”

  “No, really. How do you do any of this?”

  “I’ll show you later. Let’s go inside, shall we?”

  I looked up at the letters above us, coming out from the marble in gold relief. Evans Recreational Center. I did not work out, and I’d only been over to Evans a few times, two of those being the campus tours I took when I first visited the school and on my first day as a freshman. “What are we doing here?”

  “Still not telling. Still a surprise.” We walked up to the front entrance, massive royal blue double doors with large brass handles, a little black box with a blinking red light just above. The spot for me to swipe my ID, if the place was open, and if I wanted the university to have a record that I’d been there.

  Tokyo turned to me. “Don’t move, okay? For real. Stay right here.”

  “Okay.”

  She vanished again, but what felt like not even a full two seconds later, one of the doors creaked open. She waved me inside. “Come on.”

  Inside, the Evans Center was even scarier than outside. The long hallways stretched out in front of us. The only light came from the decorative security lights in the courtyard garden that framed the track, but the light just made the corners and shadows creepier. I grabbed Tokyo’s arm as we passed the front check-in desk.

  “You want me to turn on the lights?” she said before she leaned over and kissed my head.

  “No,” I whispered, my voice quaking. “I’m fine.”

  “I’ll protect you. Don’t worry.”

  She took me through the halls down to the ladies’ locker room. The automatic lights in there flicked on, and I might have screamed. Tokyo definitely laughed at me. “Shut up!”

  She led me through the short maze of lockers and showers right out on to the pool deck. The pool itself was massive, but it was overshadowed by the three-story-high windows that ran the length of the building. More light poured in from outside, and with the flick of some invisible switch, the pool glowed a pretty shade of aqua blue. The deck was hot and muggy, and before we made it to the middle of the large pavilion, I was already sweating. I thought about shedding my coat, but I still had no idea what Tokyo had in mind.

  “We’re going swimming?”

  “Something like that.” Tokyo took a few steps back and then a few more. And then she started getting undressed. I watched as her clothes started to pile up on the bench beside her, until she was completely naked. “You coming?” she asked, but before I could answer, she dove into the pool.

  I watched her body weaving through the water, under the waves she created. Just watched until my brain reminded me that I could get in the pool too. I didn’t have to watch. I could participate. I toed out of my boots and practically threw my clothes on the bleachers. I dove into the pool, thankful I could swim. When I surfaced, Tokyo swam toward me and backed me against the white tiles of the shallow end.

  “Hold on to me. I’ve got you—”

  “What?” But she’d already gone back underwater. She was between my legs, pulling my thighs over her shoulders, lifting me up and out of the water. My nipples hardened immediately in the cooler air. I thought to cover them, but my hands automatically went to the top of her head. Her mouth was on me. My yelp of shock turned into a cry of, “My goodness!”

  Her tongue.

  Her fingers.

  She was stroking me, rubbing her fingers up and down. I couldn’t feel the wetness of her tongue, but I could feel the pressure of it, each sweeping stroke and the sucking of her lips as she took up an alternating rhythm. Lips, then tongue, lips and then tongue. I should have told her beforehand. All of that wouldn’t be necessary. It wouldn’t take that much.

  I came, hard. My vision going out for just a second as my cries echoed off the walls. But she didn’t stop. Tokyo kept on licking and sucking until I actually pulled her hair. I pulled hard, so hard I was worried that I’d hurt her, but it was the first thing I thought of, after kicking her in the back with my heel. She gave my ass a final squeeze, my lips a final kiss, and then she slowly lowered me back into the
water.

  She came up, blowing a bit of water out of her mouth as she smiled. “We’ve got to get you a safe word. I like having my hair pulled too much.”

  “A what?” I panted.

  “Nothing. Did you want me to stop?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, just for a sec. I don’t know if it’s the feedings or what, but I come so fast. I mean, if I’m the slightest bit turned on all you have to do is touch me a little and it’s over.”

  “But you were turned on?”

  “We’re naked. You’re naked.”

  She pinned me against the tiles again. She kissed me. “All this chlorine and I could still tell how good you taste. Do you want to taste me?”

  “Yes.”

  “You okay?” she asked in that tone again, the sincere one that told me I could tell her anything and it would be okay.

  “Yes, I told you. I’m not very good at dirty talk.”

  “I’m okay with that.” Tokyo swam around me over to the ladder. When I realized what she was doing, I followed. The shallow end was…shallow, but that didn’t mean a whole lot when the very top of your head didn’t clear five feet. I wanted to go down on Tokyo, but not while I was trying to tread water. She must have figured this out because she swam over to the ladder and sat up on the top rung. I followed, stepping up between her legs, standing on the bottom. The rails on the ladder didn’t give her much room to spread her legs, but she must have figured that out too because she scooted forward a little. So she could show me everything.

  This isn’t her body, a little voice said in the back of my head. But it is and you want her. You don’t care.

  Her…everything was perfect. The color and shape of her thighs, her labia that had just a little bit of closely trimmed hair. Was that even her natural state, or if she went back to her normal form would it go away? And her breasts were perfect. Big, but not too big for her body. Light brown tips. A small waist, but not tiny. I looked at her belly button for a really long time. Bridgette would have it pierced I think. That’s what Bridgette would do. Or maybe she wouldn’t.