Pulse of Heroes

by A. Jacob Sweeny

  Michelle lay on her bed holding the copy of the photo and looking at the guy that ‘sort-of’ looked like Elliot. She was smirking at her dim-witted self; how could she have actually believed it was him? In her other hand, Michelle was holding her cell phone up against her cheek, telling Samantha about how she had begged her parents to let her stay home for Easter, and how eager she was that she was going to meet some new people, meaning guys, that were not from their school. Michelle was tired of the same faces and needed to know that there was something out there other than what Willow’s Creek had to offer. She said her goodnights to Samantha and hung up the phone. She looked at the photo for one more second, shook her head and tucked it back into the book that lay by her pillow.

  Michelle rolled over and reached up to turn off her lamp when she suddenly saw a person sitting in her chair by the desk. She gasped deeply out of fear. She couldn’t see who the person was because the light from the small lamp didn’t reach that side of the room. She was about to let out a harrowing shriek when suddenly Elliot was at her bedside, holding her mouth shut with his hand. She couldn’t scream.

  A terrified Michelle looked straight into Elliot’s eyes, but she couldn’t read them. What did he want? While Michelle shook uncontrollably Elliot shined his beautiful smile at her and put his finger to his lips in the hope that she would understand his insistence that she stay quiet. Michelle was terrified out of her wits, and saw her entire life pass in front of her eyes. This was to be her end. She was sure of it. Elliot obviously had deep-rooted psychological problems. She had messed with the wrong guy, and now he was going to make her pay. He was going to kill her. Her eyes began to tear up, but Elliot kept smiling, motioning to her to stay quiet. She understood that he was going to remove his hand from her mouth. He counted with his fingers: one, two, and three… and Michelle immediately tried to scream again but he was quicker than her. His hand was back against her mouth.

  Elliot shook his head and whispered, “I’m not here to hurt you, I swear. You have to trust me. I just don’t want the rest of your family to wake up, ok?” The blue hue of his eyes kept changing faster then Michelle’s heart beat. Why should she trust him, she thought? She had some maniac with crazy eyes holding her hostage in her own bed, and she should trust him?

  “Do you understand?” Elliot asked. Michelle was left with no choice. She was either going to listen to what he had to say or be choked to death. He was way too quick, so much so that she hadn’t even seen him approach her bed from where he was sitting. She nodded, and Elliot slowly released his grip. Michelle didn’t scream again, she was defeated. Elliot carefully sat on the bed next to her.

  “I’m sorry,” were his first words. “I didn’t mean to frighten you like this. I waited outside for you to come home but when you did, your mom was out there too. I didn’t want her to see me. I just wanted to talk to you alone.” Elliot looked at Michelle, trying to read her thoughts through her facial expressions. Did she believe him? Was she about to shout? He wasn’t sure.

  Michelle was still in shock and her mind didn’t have enough time to comprehend the gravity of the situation. “How did you get up here?” she asked in a regular voice, and he again reminded her that she needed to try and keep quiet. When she saw that Elliot wasn’t about to kill her right there and then, although there was no telling if he was planning to do so later, she closed her eyes and took a big breath. She thought about the steps she had taken before she got into bed. Did she undress in the bathroom or in the bedroom? Strange that she couldn’t remember such a simple thing. He must have seen her look at the photo. He had probably heard her whole conversation with Sam. She felt violated.

  “How did you get in my room?” Michelle demanded again, whispering, but sounding stronger than before.

  “I walked up the stairs and slipped in before you closed the door.” Elliot relaxed his body a bit too much, causing Michelle to jolt back against the wall.

  “But I didn’t see you. There’s no way. How did you bypass the alarm?” she asked, her voice rising loud enough to where Elliot had to tell her to keep it down yet again.

  “I moved quickly,” he answered, a bit annoyed. “You don’t want to wake your parents, or do you?” Michelle didn’t say anything, she just bowed her head down a bit and that was good enough for him. He had her and she knew it. She was under his spell again, feeling completely dumbfounded. She couldn’t understand why somewhere deep inside her mind she was happy that he was there with her, even if she was scared to death.

  “Can we talk somewhere else?” he asked. There was that smell again. Michelle could smell the fresh ocean mist and slowly, without even noticing, she had started tilting her head closer to his face and neck, breathing it in. She wondered what kind of after-shave, or was it cologne that he was using? Elliot got up off the bed and moved away from Michelle to the other side of the room when he saw her getting too close to him. Michelle looked up at him curiously.

  “I can’t… I mean the alarm… when the numbers are punched in it beeps pretty loud, and why should I go anywhere with you anyway, the way you treated me? Besides, how did you find out where I live? Did you follow me or something?” Elliot shook his head. “I lost my job you know…” Tears began forming at the corners of Michelle’s eyes but she stubbornly wiped them away. “Sometimes it looks like I’m crying but I’m not. I’m just angry.”

  Elliot looked down at the floor, obviously shamed.

  “That’s why I’m here. Xander told me and I wanted to apologize to you personally. I thought we could just talk this out… explain things, you and me. Put everything behind us. No hard feelings. I just moved here and I don’t want to cause any trouble. Did I hurt your wrist?”

  Just then, Crumb crawled out from underneath Michelle’s bed and made his way towards Elliot. He started purring while rubbing his pudgy little furry body against Elliot’s legs. An amused Elliot let out a short laugh and looked at Michelle. “See, I can’t be all that bad,” he said. Michelle didn’t like her cat being so close to Elliot at all, and suddenly without any fear whatsoever she jumped out of the bed and scooped Crumb up from underneath him and whisked him away. Michelle couldn’t believe she just did that without thinking. Were those her motherly instincts kicking in? As she held Crumb against her chest, she didn’t even consider the fact that she was now standing there wearing nothing but a long and practically see-through ribbed tank top that she had stolen from her dad’s closet and a pair of bright yellow underwear with monkeys printed on them. Elliot looked at Michelle and held back a chuckle. He cleared his throat a little as a sign to let Michelle know that she was standing in a compromising position, and only then did she realize what she was wearing and that he was probably laughing at her. She quickly moved back towards her bed, and tried to cover herself with a corner of her blanket, while still holding Crumb. A second later Michelle’s half-asleep mother opened the bedroom door, asking what was all that noise she heard and was everything ok? Michelle stood at her bed looking back and forth between her mom and Elliot who was standing just inches away from her on the opposite side of the open door.

  “Yeah Mom, it’s just Crumb messing with stuff,” Michelle answered innocently, holding him up to show her mom that she had things under control.

  “Ok,” her mom said sleepily. “Go to bed, it’s late.”

  Michelle walked over to the door and shut it, only this time she locked it behind her. When she turned around she saw Elliot at her window getting ready to slide it open. “No!” Michelle whispered as loud as she could. Elliot spun around, confused. “Everything is hooked to the alarm, even the windows. You move it an inch and the whole thing is set to go off. Trust me. The police will be here in less than a minute.”

  “Why do you need to go to such extreme measures? Crime is practically non-existent around here?” he asked. Michelle shook her head and told him that it was a long story.

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to stay here any longer, with your mom being awake. She
’s liable to return,” he told Michelle.

  “What about explaining things to me? You said we could explain things. What about that glass bottle? And why did you act like that, like you didn’t even know me? Are you on some kind of medication? You don’t have to be embarrassed.” Elliot looked at Michelle as if she was speaking a different language. She lowered her voice and looked away from him. “I know that you guys all have problems. Mr. De Costa told me, and I promised I wouldn’t say anything to anyone.”

  Elliot shook his head. “Hmmm… Is that what he told you?” Michelle told Elliot that he shouldn’t feel bad because it didn’t mean that he was nutty or anything.

  “Really. Michelle, it’s not like that. I mean yes, we are all working on stuff, but it’s a lot more complicated than it seems.”

  “What do you mean? Then how is it?”

  Elliot thought for a while. As Michelle waited for an answer, his expression changed from serene to regret.

  “Does this have to do with your eyes changing color?” she asked. “I know what I saw. You know, the stuff you told me to forget about because no one would believe me?” In a fast move Michelle snatched her book from the bed, whipped out the photo from between the pages and shoved it in front of his face. “And what about this?” she asked, obviously satisfied with herself. “Will no one believe this either?” Elliot looked at the photo and his thoughts jumbled. He reached to grab it but Michelle wasn’t going to let him have it and sprang back away from him. “Tomorrow, in the woods after school,” she said. “I want to know what’s going on here.”

  For Michelle, it was more than just knowing. It was about her sanity. If Elliot wasn’t crazy, she definitely didn’t want to be, and the question of whether she was or not scared her more than anything. She’d had enough with the guessing games; she just needed to know. Michelle looked into Elliot’s eyes and her honesty touched him. “Elliot, please. If you really came here to apologize then just tell me if I’m going insane.” Michelle’s eyes widened. She was pleading straight into the center of his soul. Elliot’s features softened and his eyes looked like two pools of blue. It was the first time that Michelle had called him by name, and it sounded so familiar to him, so right. He reached for her face with his hand and she moved towards him without even knowing it. Just like she had felt in the woods, it was as if she was being drawn into him. Like he was a powerful whirlwind and she was a tiny feather. He held her cheek softly in his hand and told her that he would try to explain things to her, but he couldn’t promise everything, or that it would make sense. Michelle stood there, transfixed. She began feeling lightheaded like something was pulling on her and her body wanted to fall in his direction. Her eyes went in and out of focus and when she looked at his lips she wasn’t sure if she heard the words that came out of them. She closed her eyes and Elliot gently sat her back on her bed and carefully moved away from her. Slowly the strange sensation ebbed, and when Michelle opened her eyes he was gone. No alarm. No open window.

  The next day, Michelle was exhausted when she woke up. But as soon as she remembered what had happened during the night, the memory alone pumped adrenaline throughout her entire body and she was wide awake. Her mind was working overtime and she couldn’t keep up with all the details. Her first inclination was to wonder if she had dreamt it all, but when she showed up downstairs her mom gave her a sympathetic look.

  “Do I look that bad?” Michelle asked.

  Her mother replied that she had seen her look better. “What was the problem dear, I heard you up all night?” her mother asked. Michelle mumbled something about Crumb annoying her, and her mother suggested that maybe she should keep him outside her room at night. Michelle walked over to the coffee maker to see if there was any left. It was empty and she sighed in disappointment. Her father was the coffee drinker in the house, while her mother was the tea queen. On the days that her father wasn’t working for the city, he woke up extra early because his other job, his real job, was as a land surveyor, which meant that he was out there with the contractors and engineers practically at sunrise.

  It was going to be another one of those extra long days at school, that was obvious, Michelle thought while waiting for the recess bell to ring. At lunchtime she tried to be social for everyone’s benefit, including her own. It was a beautiful sunny day, and with the temperatures beginning to increase, the excitement of spring was in the air. In the same manner that blossoms started decorating the trees in whites and pinks, so did the lighter colored outfits on the students at school. Flowers opened up, extending their petals to the sun, and so did pale limbs. It was like everybody was waking up from a long stupor. Michelle was sitting on the bleachers talking to Anna about the upcoming softball season. Anna was wondering if Michelle would be interested in joining the team. Michelle wished that she had the same energy that Anna had. Anna was like a walking school bulletin, and she really did put a lot of extra energy into unifying the school as if it was a living entity. Michelle owned up to the fact that she actually really liked Anna; she was a good person and she didn’t stick her nose up in the air like some of the other popular girls did. But Michelle turned down the softball opportunity. She knew that she shouldn’t have because she really did need the exercise, but she was having a hard time buying into the whole school thing. She had too much on her mind.

  Tim and his friend Marcus joined the two girls on the bleachers. Tim sat next to Michelle while Marcus sat on Anna’s side; they were dating and everyone knew it, but it wasn’t official yet. Michelle felt coddled by all the attention Tim was bestowing on her. He was definitely making an effort to show his intent to win her over. What bad timing, Michelle thought, and felt sad for him even though she pretended to be engaged in his conversation. Tim invited her to join him and his friends to go abalone diving, and as expected he was disappointed that she had already made plans to go with another group. But since both parties were headed to the coves of Fort Bragg, there was a pretty good chance that they would meet up anyway. The bigger the party the better, he told Michelle, and she couldn’t help but agree. Of course wiz-kid surfer-boy was going diving; it would counteract the forces of nature if he didn’t, Michelle thought as she headed to her next class. And although Tim was on her mind at that particular moment, he was gone and replaced by Elliot in the next.

  By the time 2:00 PM rolled around, Michelle was very nervous. So much so that she was shaking her right leg up and down without noticing it. She didn’t even hear her name being called by the teacher in order to answer a question. Everyone laughed when she sat there quietly without even looking up to acknowledge him. It was the laughter that woke her up from her dream state. She looked around the classroom confused, then looked to Samantha for help, not that Sam could really do much except look back at her from her seat with a worried expression.

  “Uhmm…” Michelle cleared her voice, “I’m sorry Mr. Hewson. I didn’t hear the question.”

  The teacher was not amused. “Yes, that is an understatement. Maybe next time?” he asked in a sarcastic voice.

  “Mmm… yeah,” Michelle answered, hoping that would be sufficient to remove her from the spotlight. Luckily, the teacher turned to prey upon another victim. Michelle looked down at her homework to see that she actually did have the right answer to the equation written on her sheet. But numbers were not important; they weren’t real, not like Elliot. They were just some evil mind exercise. After class, Samantha asked Michelle what was up with her being so inattentive, and Michelle managed to convince her that she was tired because she couldn’t sleep after they got off the phone the night before; she was too excited about the camping trip.

  It was 3:35 PM when Michelle walked in through the front door of her home. She barely punched the alarm code into the number pad before it went off. She only had 3 seconds left. The last thing she needed was to have fire trucks and police cars showing up when she was trying to get ready for her special meeting. Her anxiousness was no longer about what to wear; she had that all figured out
. Her true concern was whether Elliot would show up at all. She had never told him what time she got off school, so how would he know when to meet her. Don’t get your hopes up, she kept telling herself. She didn’t want the disappointment to completely crush her; she had to be ready for whatever came her way.

  Michelle slipped out of her sweats, which were her ‘wearing out’ pajamas, and got into her best pair of casual jeans, that happened to be a designer brand and made her butt look the best, even Sam agreed. She pulled a soft dusty purple angora crewneck sweater over her head. It wasn’t too tight, but she didn’t swim in it either; it sat just perfectly on her small waist. Yes, she was still tired she thought, noticing the purple half moons that had developed under her eyes. Well, at least they matched her top. In her mother’s bathroom, Michelle rifled through the makeup drawers. She found the concealer and dabbed some under her eyes. She put on some of her mom’s lipstick, and lined the top of her eyes with kohl. But after giving herself a second look in the mirror, she wiped most of the makeup off. She didn’t want to seem too made up, just casually aesthetic and not-dead. It’s not like he’s going to see you anyway, she kept telling herself.

  Once in the woods, Michelle wasn’t sure how far she should walk towards Elliot’s school? She didn’t want to be too close to home, just in case her parents ended up in the backyard and either heard or saw her. On the other hand, she didn’t want to seem too desperate and be waiting just outside the cement wall. She stopped walking once she thought she was about halfway between the two. For a while she stood there, then she paced for a few minutes, then eventually settled down and leaned back against a tree. Relax, breathe, she kept telling herself. Michelle sat there for a bit before reaching for her cell phone to check the time, only to remember that she couldn’t see the display anyway. She must replace her phone she thought, looking at the ruined screen.