Pulse of Heroes

by A. Jacob Sweeny

  The weekend passed in pretty much the same tempo as did Friday. Michelle stayed in bed and never once showed her face downstairs. Her mother would come in with food and tea, and every so often would check her temperature, although it always showed the usual 98.6º Fahrenheit. At one point her mother suggested that they should cancel the car trip they had planned down south. But Michelle immediately showed that she was improving because she was really looking forward to having the house to herself.

  To her mother’s delight, Michelle was feeling much better by Sunday night, and was back off to school by Monday. She seemed completely normal and healthy to everyone; even Samantha didn’t sense that anything was wrong. The girls talked excitedly about going to Fort Bragg and couldn’t wait for the next two days to pass.

  Michelle made plans to visit Francesca on Tuesday, and had even agreed to drive her to the church in St. Allodia on Sunday so she could attend Easter services. There was something about the elderly lady that made Michelle feel at ease, and when Samantha dropped her off in front of Francesca’s iron gate she was feeling relieved. Michelle savored every step while walking down the path of the beautiful garden that was now completely in bloom with scented flowers and trees. She had missed Francesca over the last week, and with that realization she also realized the role that grandparents play in their grandchildren’s lives, and how she wished she had a grandmother by her side throughout all her life’s ups and downs.

  Michelle could smell something cooking before she even entered the house. Francesca left the front door open, telling Michelle that to close or lock the door was rude if someone was expected for a visit. The smell was intoxicating, Michelle thought. It smelled sweet but also doughy. She headed straight back to the kitchen. Francesca was at the stove. In front of her was a deep pan bubbling with boiling oil. She was frying some sort of stuffed ravioli. When Francesca saw Michelle she smiled and Michelle went over to her and kissed her on each cheek, Italian style. She still wasn’t an expert on the custom because she didn’t understand what was the right amount of lip pressure. She was working on it. Francesca motioned for Michelle to sit at the small kitchen table and three minutes later she set a large plate filled with golden fried pastries at the center of the table. “Panzerotti di Ricotta,” she told Michelle, while sprinkling fine powdered sugar over them. She brought over two plates and a fork and began serving some of the heavenly smelling moon-shaped raviolis.

  “That’s enough,” Michelle said when she realized that she expected her to eat at least four of them.

  “Ok,” Francesca smiled, “if you want more I’ll give you some to take home.”

  Michelle waited for Francesca to sit down, but Francesca told her that these must be eaten while still hot so dig in. Michelle thanked her, and once she finished one of the treats she had no intention of stopping there.

  “These are delicious. You didn’t make them just because I was coming over, did you?” Michelle asked with a mouth full of powdered sugar.

  Francesca laughed while motioning Michelle to wipe her lips. “I made them for me, but better if I share them or I’ll get too fat for my dresses.” With that thought in mind, Michelle decided to forgo the forth pastry and pushed her plate away. “These are from my grandmother’s recipe. It’s from Calabria, the foot of the boot, and besides I thought something sweet is good every once in a while. Keeps us happy, you know?” Michelle couldn’t have needed anything more right then than food that would make her happy. She was in the right place.

  Later, while Michelle was helping Francesca clean the living room windows, her mind started drifting back into her self-doubt mode and Francesca noticed the mood change.

  “Can I ask what is wrong? Your face looks long, you are sad, no?”

  Michelle didn’t want to bother Francesca with her drama. “No, nothing important. Just silly stuff.”

  Francesca looked at Michelle straight in her eyes and nodded with understanding. “You have man problems,” she stated.

  Michelle couldn’t lie to her. “A little bit,” she admitted coyly.

  “Is he going with other girls?” Francesca asked, becoming angry.

  “No, not that I know of,” Michelle answered, but had to think about that. Maybe Elliot was seeing someone else.

  Francesca kept inquiring, “Does he like you? Do you like him?”

  That was the problem. Michelle didn’t know how to answer that question. She described the situation to Francesca, omitting a few odd facts, but told her about Elliot and their several encounters with one another.

  Francesca thought for a minute and then plainly said, “Oh, he likes you, trust me about that.” Michelle felt a little hopeful, but unsure of how Francesca could tell with such certainty, considering that the three and a half times she had actually spoken to Elliot he had yelled at her, only once was he very nice, well, and he did almost kiss her the second time he yelled at her. It was too damn confusing. Francesca said it was easy to figure out because Elliot had come to see Michelle twice, once in her room and once in the woods.

  “But I kind of went to see him twice too,” Michelle argued. But that wasn’t the point, Francesca said. It was the fact that he came on his own; it was not a chance meeting. He came to apologize to her the first time, and then he met her in the woods, and about the half time, which was what Michelle called their first meeting when she fell off the wall, he helped her sneak out without getting in trouble, did he not?

  “I guess,” Michelle said, doubting that conclusion. But Francesca continued on, that his actions at the school when she fell, combined with his apology in her room, and topped off with him meeting her on her request and loaning her his jacket, was definitely enough to show that he cared about what Michelle thought and felt. She didn’t even need to know that they almost kissed to arrive at her conclusion.

  “Well, what do I do?” Michelle asked, desperate for a magical love spell or something in the same category.

  “You can’t do anything, my dear. This is his problem. That’s why he keeps getting upset. It has nothing to do with you or the way you look. You are a beautiful girl, you shouldn’t think any such nonsense about not being good enough,” Francesca told Michelle in a protective voice.

  “Do I wait?” Michelle asked.

  Francesca gave her a sideways look. “You do nothing like that. Some men like him never come around.” She told Michelle that she could end up waiting a very long time, and miss out on other opportunities to find amore. “You are a young girl. You need to forget about him. He’s no good, even if he likes you. This is how the world goes. I’ve seen this situation many times before.”

  Michelle fought back her tears that began streaming out and dripping off her chin. She felt embarrassed, but Francesca moved in and held her tight. “You cry my child, it is all right. You think you love him, maybe you do. There is nothing wrong about crying for love.” Michelle did just that. The sobs that Michelle had held away all weekend long needed to come out; she had been scared to let them loose. But in the arms of Francesca she found comfort and safety, so she cried until the tears ran out.

  Chapter 6

  Michelle told her parents that she was planning to spend the night at Samantha’s house Wednesday night. So on Wednesday morning she and her parents said their goodbyes although her mom tried one more time to convince her to join them. Nevertheless, Michelle had no intention of missing out on the diving expedition.

  Michelle had taken Francesca’s advice to heart and decided to forget all about Elliot. She wasn’t going to let him ruin the trip for her. She was about to meet a bunch of new people, and who knows…

  The arrangement was to meet up at 4:00 PM in a dirt parking lot across from the Rose and Glee Inn. That way they could see how many cars were needed for the trip. Parking was always a problem along the coast, so the less vehicles the better. Everyone in the group was given something to do and Michelle was delegated to be the breakfast chef. She packed two-dozen eggs and two loafs of cinnamon bread in a small c
ooler. French toast would have to do.

  After school, Michelle and Samantha packed and repacked their gear at Sam’s house while they waited for James to show up. James had arranged to borrow his father’s Suburban, which was going to make much more sense for the trip than the tiny VW bug. When James pulled up in front of the house, the deep sound of the V-8 engine vibrated the entire street. The girls’ excitement was contagious, and James couldn’t help but smile when he saw the two of them standing outside the house. They were adorable he thought, especially Sam.

  One of James’ friends, Dave, was going to be coming all the way up from Mill Valley to join them, and when Samantha heard that Dave was single she immediately hatched a plan to get Michelle and him to hook up. With the way that Michelle was feeling after having been rejected by Elliot, that was not such a far-fetched scenario.

  The back of the Suburban was packed with a large tent and other camping and diving gear. James had even brought a couple of extra wet suits just in case someone forgot theirs or the girls decided that they wanted to give it a try. Hypothermia was one of the great dangers, and there was no way anyone could survive in those waters for more than a couple of minutes without a thick wet suit. Many deaths occurred when people’s bodies would start to shut down slowly and without notice, and by the time a person realized what was happening it would be too late. Their arms would seize, then their legs, and that was how they drowned.

  By the time the Suburban pulled up into the dirt parking lot across from the Rose and Glee there were already two other vehicles waiting. Michelle recognized one from school, but not the other. Perhaps the cute guys that Sam had been talking about were already there? Michelle’s heart rate rose with anticipation. At last Michelle and her friends stepped out of the Suburban and everyone else did the same. It was time for the introductions.

  Michelle recognized the couple from Meadows High, Robert and his girlfriend Marion, and there was also a new couple from San Rafael, Tom and Liz. When she saw Tom get out of the car her heart skipped a beat. He was very handsome and his eyes were extra-friendly, but then she saw his equally beautiful girlfriend and her heart sank back down. Now they were just waiting for Dave to show up. And supposedly there were two other guys coming with him. Three to one is not too bad Michelle thought, realizing that she was the only girl there that was not attached to anyone. After about ten minutes a black Prius pulled up to the group. “That’s so Marin!” James said, laughing, while Dave and his friend Nicholas got out and approached the group. Samantha nudged Michelle to pay attention because she could see that Dave was ‘way fine’. And in fact, she blushed when they were introduced even more than Michelle did.

  “Wasn’t there supposed to be someone else with you?” James asked. Dave answered that his friend had gotten sick at the last minute with some nasty foreign flu that was going around.

  After much shuffling, Dave and Nicholas were able to get all their gear loaded into the Suburban, just barely. And Rob and Marion hitched a ride with the other couple. They had to stop at the local gas station to feed ‘the beast’, which was what James called the Suburban, and then headed out of town.

  “I could have tied your car to mine and towed it up the coast if needed,” James said, teasing Dave about his Prius. But Dave defended himself, letting everyone know that his truck was in the shop. The little Prius go-cart belonged to his older sister, and he confided that unless he was driving downhill the car would choke up. It just didn’t have enough power, and there was no way that he was going to attempt to drive up the steep grades around Indian Rock.

  “I would do better walking,” Dave concluded. Everyone laughed and Michelle couldn’t help but be charmed by his manners.

  Once they passed the last little towns of the Napa Valley they finally felt free. It was going to be a long drive and despite their attempts to keep the conversation going they all tired pretty quickly. James turned on the radio and everyone watched the beautiful scenery that immersed them in Northern California magic while listening to the stations fade in and out as new ones with different songs took their place.

  They pulled over in Hopland, which was a must because at least half of them needed to use the bathroom by then, and there was going to be nothing but nature for the next two hours. While Michelle stood in the cashier’s line at the local market, Dave and Nicholas walked up with their own provisions. Nicholas was 21 and he bought a case of the famous Hopland microbrewery beer and some chips, while Dave bought a huge sack of oranges. “Vitamin C,” he later told everyone. Diving was physically draining; they would thank him later. Dave insisted on paying for Michelle’s beverage, and she eventually gave in and let him buy her the very expensive antioxidant free radical acai berry / green tea concoction. After that, they all settled back into the Suburban for the long haul. Dave, who was sitting in the way back, rummaged through his stuff and eventually emerged with a guitar in hand. And so the next few hours were spent listening to congenial tunes. Unfortunately, while following Route 20 to the coast the gang had to pull over a couple of times because Samantha got sick from the sharp hairpin turns.

  The group reached Fort Bragg around 7:30PM, and found that the campsite they had reserved was just a few yards from the beach. The guys set out on a race against the sun to set up two large tents while the girls unpacked the foodstuffs and sleeping bags. The evening was colder and windier than Michelle had anticipated, and the sound of the crashing surf along the shore made her a bit nervous. Everyone pulled on their jackets and they got a large fire going.

  Dave and Tom took charge of the grilling while James heated up a large pot of beans on a gas burner. Rob went to figure out the route to the bathrooms while the girls sat huddled together around the fire. Nick walked around distributing drinks to everyone, but Michelle declined; not only was she not yet of age, but she didn’t really like beer all that much. Samantha’s stomach was still iffy and she chose to forgo most of the meal, chewing on a piece of French bread in the hope that it would settle her belly for tomorrow.

  The food was delicious, compliments to the chefs of course. Michelle thought that it was funny how most guys seemed to have little interest in cooking while at home, but suddenly became experts outdoors in front of an open flame.

  Samantha decided to go to bed early and James followed her. Dave strummed his guitar while the embers glowed and changed colors. With the smell of the fire, smoky and earthy, sweet and natural, Michelle was in the zone. Things were just perfect; why couldn’t she always feel like this, she wondered? Sitting around a fire under the stars gets everyone talking about different things that they wouldn’t even think about during their ordinary lives. The conversation ran deep and everyone felt as if they had known each other forever.

  Eventually, a thick curtain of fog began to move in and cover most of the coast. Michelle could feel the fine mist and tiny water droplets against her bare face, but she didn’t mind. She was entranced by the lyrics to one of Dave’s songs. Dave was a cool poet/nature-boy type, and he seemed to be closer to the earth than most people she had met. There weren’t any sparks flying between them, yet, but she was glad that he was there. James was right, which is funny for a guy to have insight about what a girl would like; Dave was definitely someone that piqued Michelle’s interest.

  Michelle needed to go to the bathroom, but dreaded leaving the warmth of the fire. She held out for as long as she could, waiting for someone else to go so she could join them.

  “I need to go to the bathroom,” Michelle said eventually, looking at the other girls, but everyone had already gone. Dave gracefully offered to accompany her, and Michelle felt a bit uncomfortable at the idea that a guy had to walk her to the potty. Couldn’t she pee by herself? She felt like a child. They walked together while continuing their small talk about when did he start playing guitar, and where did Michelle plan to apply for college. Dave was 20 years old and was attending U.C. Berkeley, but he still wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his life. He had gone backpacking for
a year before starting his studies. It was something he didn’t regret. He told Michelle about Thailand, and an African safari he went on, even about scuba diving in the Red Sea. Michelle wished she could travel like that.

  By the time Michelle and Dave got back to the campsite only Liz and Tom remained seated around the dwindling fire. Rob and Marion had gotten tired and turned in, while Nick had started snoring while still in a seated position. Michelle was tired as well. They had an early wake up call, and she wanted to feel halfway awake for tomorrow. As for the sleeping arrangements, Liz and Tom stated that they could sleep anywhere, so the choice was left up to Michelle. There was no way that Michelle wasn’t going to sleep next to Samantha and James; she wouldn’t feel comfortable otherwise. So Liz and Tom joined Nick and the other couple, while Michelle and Dave climbed into James’ tent. There was an odd and uncomfortable moment when Michelle deduced that somehow she and Dave were left to couple up. Was this planned? She wondered. Dave asked Michelle if she felt comfortable with the arrangements, and she sensed from his question that he was not a slime ball and told him that it would be fine.

  Once inside the tent Dave used a small flashlight to see where there was space for them, and it became obvious that they would not be sleeping next to one another. Michelle wasn’t sure if she was disappointed or relieved, or maybe a little bit of both. While she unrolled her sleeping bag, Dave asked her if she had a travel mattress.

  “A what?” Michelle asked, imagining trying to carry a huge mattress into the tent.

  “One of these,” Dave said while unrolling a gel-like foam pad.