Always and Forever

by Lyn Denison

  “It wasn’t Evan. He might have been responsible for the drink, but he didn’t rape me.” She ran a hand over her eyes. “It was Billy Cleary.”

  Chapter Eleven

  “Your stepbrother?” Angie was obviously shocked. “Oh, Shann, I can’t believe he’d do something so dreadful. I’ve never liked him but, rape? Shann, he should have been held accountable.”

  “I was too scared and too ashamed to tell anyone at the time.” Shann told her. “For ages I honestly thought I didn’t know who had done it. I must have completely blanked it out of my mind. Later, I even tried to tell myself it was Evan. Or one of his mates. They’d all been pretty dreadful after Ann caught Leigh and I together.”

  “But how did they find out about it?” Angie asked and Shann shrugged.

  “I have no idea. I thought at first it had to be Leigh but then when I remembered it was Billy that night, I thought it might have been him. He wasn’t there when it happened, but he came home a couple of times about then. Perhaps Ruth told him. He might have told Evan because Leigh was involved. Evan was certainly angry. He made that pretty clear from the start, he and his mates.”

  “What did they do?” Angie asked.

  “Rang me when they knew I was at home alone and made obscene suggestions. Walked up behind me and whispered crude names. Touched me up at school in the hallways when no one else was nearby.”

  Angie shook her head.

  “So it was easy to think it was one of them.”

  “What made you remember?” Angie asked, holding onto Shann’s hand, gently rubbing her skin.

  “Oh, good old Billy helped me out there,” Shann said bitterly. “Most of the time I almost convinced myself it hadn’t happened. I’d even pretend Corey’s father was a really nice gay guy, that we got together to prove we were so-called normal. Then we’d decided we weren’t heterosexual, so we went our separate ways. I wished it had been like that, if only for Corey’s sake.” Shann brushed away a tear, and Angie put her arms around her again, holding her comfortingly close.

  “Billy should have gone to jail,” Angie said as she rubbed Shann’s back.

  Shann sighed and lifted her head, keeping hold of Angie’s hand.

  “Didn’t you say you’d scratched him? How did he explain that?” Angie asked.

  “I didn’t see him next day. I stayed in my room pretending I was asleep. He went back to join his Army mates. I think he was stationed in Darwin at the time. I remember Ruth saying Billy had been a little under the weather the night before and that he’d walked into a tree branch. She was clucking about the big patch on his forehead.”

  “It would have been evidence, Shann,” Angie said softly.

  “I know that now but at the time, I don’t know, I was in total shock I think. By the time I was rational enough to think about it, it was too late. And I don’t think Billy was that drunk, that was for sure.”

  “But it was acceptable to Ruth for Billy to be drunk,” Angie remarked dryly. “Fine old double standards.”

  “Looking back, Ruth never took our side against Billy, no matter how much evidence there was pointing to him. Billy was never responsible. Pat and I learned to keep out of his way as much as we could.”

  “How long was it before you saw Billy again? Was it before or after Corey was born?”

  “After.” Shann shrugged. “I didn’t see him for over two years. He was passing through Sydney, and he called in. Aunt Millie gave him my address, I opened the door of my flat, and there he was.” Shann unconsciously tightened her hold on Angie’s hand. “I can’t say I was thrilled to see him, but he was my stepbrother so I invited him in, reluctantly, and made him coffee. He told me his marriage was on the rocks, and I commiserated. He said it was Janice’s fault, of course.”

  “Of course,” Angie said. “I remember Ruth telling Ann something the same at the time.”

  “Then Corey woke up. I’d left him asleep on his blanket in the bedroom. I was getting his things ready for the evening because I was on late shift, and some friends babysat him for me. Well, Corey came toddling out carrying his favorite teddy bear, calling out for me. I picked him up, and he looked at Billy and buried his head in my shoulder.”

  “Sensible Corey,” Angie remarked and Shann grimaced.

  “Exactly. Billy was a little taken aback because apparently Ruth hadn’t told him I was pregnant. He sort of smirked and asked me if Corey was mine. When I said he was he laughed. Then he said that his little lesson must have worked. When he said that, about the lesson, I knew. It all came flooding back to me. The whole thing flashed before me.”

  “The bastard. Did you confront him?”

  “I couldn’t—I was so shocked I couldn’t speak. Then he took something out of his pocket and held it up.” Shann swallowed. “It was my underpants. From that night. He’d taken them with him as a souvenir. Can you believe that? I was shattered. I accused him of raping me. And he just laughed.”

  Shann felt the moment closing in on her. “I got so angry I could have physically attacked him. I would have, but Corey started to cry. I probably squeezed him too tightly. By the time I’d settled him in his highchair with a drink, Billy had relaxed back in the lounge. I told him to leave, and he said he was at a loose end and planned on staying the night. I was terrified by this time so I told him my boyfriend was due home. He said he didn’t believe me, that he’d stay so he could meet him, give him the once over.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I opened the door and, luckily, Chris, the guy from the flat upstairs was walking up the stairs. He was a rugby player, six-foottwo, muscles on his muscles, and happily married. I threw myself on him, welcomed him home and called him darling. I tried to let him see my concerned expression, and it must have worked because he didn’t resist when I dragged him into the flat.

  “I told him Billy was my stepbrother and that he was just leaving. Chris summed up the situation and played the part for me. Billy decided discretion was the better part of valor and left. That’s the last time I saw him.”

  “He was killed a few years ago, wasn’t he?” Angie asked, and Shann nodded.

  “In a truck accident. Apparently he swerved to miss a couple of pedestrians. Liz told me Ruth considers he’s a hero.”

  “Some hero,” Angie remarked and pulled Shann back into her arms. “I’m so sorry, Shann. I wish I’d told someone about what I’d heard the night of the party.”

  “I doubt it would have helped. I’m convinced no one would have believed me.”

  Angie kissed her gently and then ran her finger along the line of Shann’s jaw. “You know I always wondered what you meant that night, about me not being out there in the garden alone. Now I know.” She kissed Shann again and then sat back against the seat, her arm around Shann’s shoulders. “Are you ever going to tell Corey?”

  “I don’t know. Not all of it, that’s for sure. I’ve let him think his father was already married. That’s not untrue. Billy and Janice had been married the year before it happened.” She sighed unconsciously. “And I’ve told him his biological father is dead. Some day I’ll tell him how he died. As to the rest of it, I don’t know how, when or even if I’ll tell him.”

  Angie nodded. “I’ve just realized Corey is Ruth’s grandson.”

  “That’s what bothers me the most. Have I got a right to keep that from her? When she returns from the UK I’ll have to make a decision about that. It’s all so complicated.”

  “Well, anyone would be pleased to claim Corey as a grandchild. Look how absolutely besotted your father is with him. He’s such a great kid.” Angie laughed. “I think I’ve said that before. He’s smart. He’s got a great sense of humor. Just like his mother.”

  Shann felt a surge of pleasure that Angie was so impressed by Corey. “You’re starting to sound as biased as I am.”

  “I think I am, too. But it’s not difficult.” She tried to smother a yawn.

  “We should go inside. You’re tired and you have to work tomor
row. And we had a late night last night.”

  Angie gave a soft groan. “Would that I could be late like that every night. Tell me I didn’t dream last night, Shann. It did happen, didn’t it?”

  “If it didn’t then I seem to have had the same fantastic dream.”

  They merged together, and their kiss was long and deep.

  “Will I—?” Shann paused. “Will I see you tomorrow?”

  “I’ll call over when I get home from work, but I have to go out to dinner tomorrow night.”

  Who was Angie going with? Shann wanted to ask but knew she didn’t have the right. They hadn’t spoken about—

  “It’s Mike’s birthday in a week’s time so we’re going out to dinner with some friends of his. Leigh and Evan had hoped to be here, too, but Ann tells me Evan can’t get out of his business meetings. I suggested we postpone the dinner until they got back, but this is the only weekend Mike’s friends are free.” Angie shrugged. “So it’s still on. I wish you could come, too.”

  “As much as I want to spend time with you, I think I’ll take it slowly with your aunt and uncle,” Shann said ruefully.

  “Pity. It will be a long night I suspect. And it will probably be too late for us to get together afterward. Then I have to speak at that conference, and I have some business appointments in Melbourne on Monday and Tuesday so I’m booked to fly out on Sunday evening.” Angie pulled a face. “Absolutely worst timing, but maybe we could have lunch on Sunday, hmmm?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “I’m going to miss you so much.” Angie kissed her again and sighed, her forehead resting against Shann’s. “I guess we should go to bed.” She laughed lowly. “Now there’s a thought.”

  “A thought that will be sure to keep me awake,” Shann told her, and they both laughed. Shann stood up, pulled Angie up beside her and into her arms. “Maybe one quick hug first.”

  On Sunday Shann, Angie, and Corey went over to Southbank for lunch. They sat at a café overlooking the river and watched the City Cats on their journeys up and down the Brisbane River. Afterward they walked along the river eating ice cream before heading home and a few hours later, Shann drove Angie out to the airport to catch her flight to Melbourne.

  “I wish I didn’t have these appointments tomorrow.” Angie put her hand on Shann’s jean-clad thigh. “I won’t be back in time to see you before you leave for the Muster on Tuesday.”

  “I’ll be counting the hours till you get up to Gympie on Friday.”

  “Mmm. Me, too.” Angie moved her hand on Shann’s thigh and groaned. “I would have cancelled this trip, but it’s been on the calendar for months, and I’m contracted to speak at the conference on Tuesday morning.”

  “Don’t worry.” Shann covered Angie’s hand with her own. “Think of the anticipation of seeing each other again on Friday. Of course, on the down side by Friday my excitement level will be so high it will be unwise for me to operate heavy machinery and/or drive a motor vehicle.”

  Angie laughed and then sobered. “I’m really going to miss you.”

  “And I’ll miss you.” Shann pulled into the short-term car park and switched off the engine. “I could just drop you off but I need a hug here in relative seclusion.”

  She pulled Angie into her arms, nuzzled her earlobe, found her incredible lips. When they drew apart Shann rested her forehead against Angie’s. “Much more of this and the windows will start to fog up.”

  “I think they already have.” Angie held her wristwatch to the glow from a nearby overhead security light. “Damn! I should go.”

  Shann nodded, kissed Angie quickly. “Until Friday.”

  “Until Friday,” Angie said huskily.

  Shann left for the Muster after she’d dropped Corey off at school on Tuesday morning. She had packed the four-wheel drive with her clothes and Corey’s, and sleeping bags for the three of them. Although it was hot during the day up in the National Park, the temperature plummeted at night. In a suit bag she had her stage outfits laid carefully on top of her guitar.

  She headed up the Bruce Highway to the Sunshine Coast, and then she turned off toward the Amamoor State Forest. After the small quaint township of Amamoor the road went from bitumen to well-graded gravel.

  At the main gate she registered and collected her meal vouchers and colored wristbands that were clipped on her arm. These stayed on for the duration of the Muster and were Shann’s ticket to the various areas of the site, including the secure area especially for performers.

  After getting directions she drove through the public camping area where tents, campers, trailers, and vans nestled in every nook and cranny of the forest. She knew people came to secure campsites weeks before the Muster and some had the same sites each year. There were people everywhere and at the weekend the population would more than double.

  Shann passed through the next checkpoint and drove around behind the huge main stage that was still being erected. In front of the stage was the requisite mosh pit and then the sloping hillside rose in a natural amphitheater.

  Parking the car beside a white camper with green and yellow stripes, Shann switched off the engine and whistled. It was far bigger than she expected. She unlocked the door and stepped inside. There was a spacious kitchenette at one end, a short hallway with bunks on one side and a separate shower and toilet at the other, and through a door at the other end was a bedroom with a large comfortable double bed.

  Shann sat on the bed and bounced. Definitely comfortable. She glanced at the bedhead, the two pillows, and she saw Angie’s wonderful naked body stretched out, her green eyes twinkling, her lips smiling invitingly, her firm full breasts, flat stomach, the gleam of her navel ring, the triangle of fair curls, and her long smooth legs. She groaned softly. It would be three days before Corey and Angie joined her.

  With a sigh of regret Shann set to unloading her car and stowing her clothes in the closet space. Then she went out to explore the huge Muster site and catch up with the organizers of her shows and the band that would be backing her.

  She walked over to the lower side of the site and checked out the CD store, which held a comprehensive range of merchandise. Then she wandered through the various stalls selling Western gear and souvenirs. She bought T-shirts for Corey, Angie, and herself depicting the most popular country music radio station in the southeast.

  Her first and second appearances were at the Tavern which was on the far side of the site, so with a couple of hours to spare before she was expected on stage, she walked back past the main stage to the high side of the site. She watched technicians setting up the small stage set where they were going to film the television show Muster Eye for the City Guy. Apparently they’d chosen a woman and three guys from the city and for the duration of the Muster they were going to film them performing tasks such as stock whip cracking and tent site decorating, as well as the requisite singing of a country song.

  There were more souvenir and hat, boot and clothing stalls, as well as food areas run by various charities. The Apex Club of Gympie was responsible for the Muster, but many other clubs were fund raising as well.

  Next door to the Tavern was the huge marquee that was the Muster Club, the venue for Shann’s third and main show late on Friday. Further down was the large Crowbar and up the hill past more souvenir and food stalls was the Blues Club.

  There were many people wandering around exploring like Shann was, and considering that the Muster hadn’t officially started, the lead-up shows were very well patronized.

  Shann’s first show went exceptionally well, as she told Corey when she rang him from a public phone down near the Tavern. Here in the forest her mobile phone had no reception so she told Corey to tell Liz not to try to call her, that Shann would phone them each evening. She also tried ringing Angie’s mobile, but it went to message bank, and Shann could only tell her she was missing her.

  That night Shann lay in the double bed snugly zipped in her sleeping bag. After temperatures in the nineties during the da
y, the mercury dropped to freezing during the night. As the music from the late shows at the Crowbar and the distant blues venue floated over the site and the mist insinuated itself among the trees and tents, Shann drifted off to sleep thinking of Angie.

  Over the next two days Shann saw some great shows and performed again herself to a packed venue. The television company making Muster Eye for the City Guy sought her out for an interview. She performed the theme from The Kelly Boys for them and they told her the show was to air on the cable Country Music Channel.

  And then it was Friday, and Shann sat on a fallen tree trunk watching passers-by and waiting for Angie and Corey. When she caught sight of them walking toward her, her heart swelled. Corey was pointing out the banners strung between the trees and Angie was caught up in his conversation. Then she looked up and saw Shann and smiled.

  The smile lit Angie’s face and hit Shann in the region of her heart. She drew in a steadying breath as she took in Angie’s healthy good looks, the natural grace of her tall body, the wonder of that incredible smile. Shann stood up, hurrying toward them, breaking into a jog until she could wrap her arms around both of them.

  “I missed you both so much,” she said unevenly, a lump in her throat.

  “We missed you, too, Mum,” said Corey, squeezing her tightly.

  Angie smiled and nodded. “It’s been a very long week.”

  Shann showed them around some of the large site, pointing out the Muster Club where she would be performing later that night. Then they headed over to the trailer.