Upgrade U

by Ni-Ni Simone

  “So true,” I said as I turned around toward them and slid back on the counter. “The funny thing is I don’t even remember how all of this with Zaire really clicked or how it started. I’m just happy it did.”

  “Me too,” Shae said, “I just want you to enjoy the moment because you deserve it.”

  “Oh, I plan to,” I said as someone knocked on our room door. I looked at my watch. “It’s boo lovin’ time.”

  I hopped off the counter and walked toward the door. “Don’t hate,” I said on my way, “ ‘cause I’ma have Zaire take me to a lil spot in the Ninth Ward, also known as Maw-Maw’s.” I was a foot away from the door, and then suddenly I stopped in my tracks, and scurried back to the bathroom.

  “Listen,” I whispered to Shae and Khya, “one of y’all have to go and answer the door. ‘Cause if I get it, I might look a lil desperate.”

  “Yeah, that’s true,” Shae said.

  “I’ll get it,” Khya volunteered. “You lay in the cut for a minute, Seven.”

  “All right.” Shae and I stayed in the bathroom and I peeked at myself in the mirror one last time to confirm my cuteness. I wore a red and fitted Stiles U T-shirt, glove-fitting jeans, Coach kicks, and fly jewelry. I blew a kiss at myself. How can I say this …? I was, ummm, perfect.

  I stepped out the bathroom, prepared to see Zaire’s beautiful brown face, only to see Josiah standing there. I was stunned and suddenly the hurt that I didn’t want to feel flooded back.

  “What are you doing here?” I said, flabbergasted.

  “I needed to speak to you.” He walked toward me.

  “We’ve already said everything.”

  Josiah swallowed. “Seven, just give me five minutes. That’s it, and I promise after that I’ll bounce if you want me too.”

  “Oh, she will,” Khya interjected.

  “Can you two just chill and give us a moment?” Josiah snapped at Shae and Khya.

  “I wish I would.” Shae folded her arms across her breasts.

  Khya took a karate stance. “Now try somethin’.”

  I turned to them. “Can you just give me a minute with him?”

  “What?” Shae blinked in disbelief.

  “I just need a few minutes.”

  “Shae, you and Khya can come over here!” Courtney yelled. “I got some extra glasses, we can eat this popcorn and I promise you won’t miss a thing.”

  “That’s it, Courtney!” Khya screamed. “I’m calling campus police!”

  And of course in true Khya and Courtney fashion an argument ensued, with both of them standing on opposite sides of the wall.

  “Khya,” Shae said, “look, let’s go. You don’t have to argue with Courtney.”

  “True.” Khya grabbed her purse. “Yeah, come on, I’ll call Chaz and tell him to meet me in the caf.”

  “Call me if you need anything,” Shae said as they walked out of the room.

  They closed the door behind them and I turned to Josiah and said, “The clock is ticking. You said five minutes and them getting to the door already took away three of those. So skip to the point.”

  “Seven, I’m sorry.”

  “You came here to tell me that?” I frowned. “I knew you were sorry. Sorry trifflin’, inconsiderate, arrogant, turned from sugar to sand. What else? Let’s see … hmmm, you lied to me, constantly. Made me look stupid, took advantage of me—”

  “Seven, look, I was wrong, I’ll admit that, but you had your faults too!”

  “I was in love with you! I was trying to recapture your attention, but you were too busy pimpin’!”

  “You had my attention. You were my girl. We were in a relationship!”

  “That’s funny ‘cause I don’t remember agreeing to you having a sideline ho as a part of the deal.”

  “Seven, I wanted to be with you, be faithful to you, and I know I was wrong. But I felt like you weren’t there for me. You spent more time nagging me than anything else.”

  “Are you kidding me!” I screamed in disbelief.

  “Don’t fall for that, Seven!” Courtney pounded on the wall. “That’s that whole ‘it’s you and not me,’ spiel, don’t do it!”

  “Would you shut up?!” I yelled. God, these walls are too thin!

  “Seven, listen to me.” He reached for my hand and I snatched it away. “I’m sorry that I messed up, but we both messed up!”

  “Now it’s my fault that you were unfaithful?” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

  “Seven, sometimes a man needs a woman to back up and understand that he needs his space!”

  “Then you should’ve been straight with me and not run off with another girl! Are you crazy?!”

  “You’re just as responsible as I am! And after a while you didn’t feel like home anymore….”

  I knew that Josiah stood in front of me speaking, but all I could hear was my father’s voice the day he left my mother. It was as if Josiah had been a fly on the wall, because he pretty much said the same thing to me that my father said to my mother; the only difference is Josiah didn’t complain about the kids and the bills. But I promise you everything else was exactly the same. That’s when it hit me that I couldn’t do this screaming match with him anymore.

  “You know what, Josiah?” I said calmly. “I’m glad you came to acknowledge how sorry you are, but you can leave now.”

  “What?” He blinked in disbelief. “We haven’t worked anything out.”

  “There’s nothing to work out,” I said as calm as butter. “I’m done—”

  “Naw, this isn’t over. We’ll work through. No relationship is perfect—”

  I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “They may not all be perfect, but I don’t want your imperfections anymore. Everything else in your life came before me: basketball, your friends, and now your mistress? Nah, I’m good, you got me twisted.”

  “Seven, I’m trying to get into the NBA and that’s for the both of us. Do you know how upgraded you’ll be? People already look at you differently knowing that you’re the girl of point guard number twenty-three—”

  “And that’s the problem. I was the girl of point guard number twenty-three and not Josiah. Josiah would’ve never done this to me, but you, Mr. Wannabe Kobe or Dying to Be Shaq, whichever fits, are a horrible boyfriend. So how about this, since I’m not your everything, how about I’ll be nothing.”

  “Seven, I’m not leaving here until you hear me out.”

  “Can you walk and talk at the same time? Because I have something to do.”

  “Oh, it’s like that?”

  “What, did I forget to tell you? If so, then yes, it’s like that.”

  “Seven—”

  “Isn’t this what you wanted? Now I’m giving it to you, go call up that chick and see if y’all can chill. ‘Cause public service announcement: I’m doing me,” I said as a soft knock hit against the door. “Come in.”

  “Seven, I’m not done talking to you.”

  “Is everything a’ight, Seven?” Zaire looked concerned as he entered from behind the door. “I heard yelling so I didn’t know.”

  “I’m fine and point guard number twenty-three was just leaving.”

  “Wassup with this?” Josiah turned to Zaire and looked him over.

  Zaire looked at Josiah as if he were dismissable.

  I walked over to Zaire, stood next to him, and faced Josiah. “I told you I had something to do. Now, if you’ll step to the left, Mr. Point Guard, I’ll be needing to lock my room up.”

  “Seven,” Josiah said, “are you serious?”

  “Dead serious.”

  Josiah looked at Zaire and said, “You’ll see me again.”

  “You know me, Josiah, so you know it’s whatever, whenever.”

  Josiah didn’t respond, instead he stormed out. “You know Josiah?” I asked Zaire.

  “We had a class together,” Zaire said a little too quickly. “Now are you sure you’re all right?”

  “Yeah.” My face lit up. “I’m fine.” I grabbed Z
aire’s hand and he kissed me on my forehead. “So what you wanna eat?”

  “Ummm … I was thinking, maybe we need to see what Big-Maw’s cooking.”

  26

  I can’t leave ‘em alone

  I tried that good boy game …

  —CIARA FT. 50 CENT, “CAN’T LEAVE ‘EM ALONE”

  “I’m not going home for Thanksgiving.” I shook my

  head in disgust, as we sat in the caf eating lunch.

  “Why?” Shae asked, completely surprised. “We haven’t been home in eons.” She sipped her soda.

  “My mother would have a fit,” Khya spat. “Do you know how much my moms be on my phone with a buncha, ‘Khya, whatcha doings?’ And I have to tell her, ‘The same thing I was doing five minutes ago when you called me.’ Geez. So imagine if I don’t show up for the holiday? That chick would trip so hard she’d probably start crippin’.”

  “Daaaaaang,” Courtney said. “I see the loco apple don’t fall too far from the nut tree, huh?”

  Khya squinted her eyes tight and spat, “One day, Courtney, I’ma just steal on you, chop you right in the throat.”

  “I turn you on, don’t I, Khya?” Courtney growled. “One day you’re throwing yourself at me, telling me I can be king of the world, and the next day you want to take my head off. I make your wild oats soar, don’t I? That’s why you want to come for my throat so you can be close to my lips.”

  “Gagging.” Khya stuck her index finger in her mouth.

  Courtney blew air kisses at Khya. “One day we should get married just to say we did it.” He took the end of his boa and flung it at Khya. “If you want me come to my room tonight and get me.”

  Shae did all she could not to spit her soda out of her mouth. “You get a little too carried away, Courtney. Any-who, how come you’re not going home, Seven?”

  “Because, you know my mother’s finances aren’t what they used to be, so she called and told me this morning that Cousin Shake would be driving here to pick me and Lil Bootsy up and that he and Miss Minnie would be bringing us back. And that ain’t going down, round.”

  “Why not?” Khya frowned.

  “Khya, first of all Lil Bootsy needs a booster seat and I am not about to ride all those hours with an angry Midget Mac. And second of all Cousin Shake drives a tricked-out hearse—”

  “With leopard upholstery,” Shae interjected.

  “And baby shoes swinging around the mirror. Don’t nobody rock baby shoes around their mirror anymore.” I shook my head.

  “And,” Shae said, “his CD player is stuck on the best of MC Hammer.”

  “Oh wow, well umm”—Khya blinked in disbelief—“you can always come to Texas with me.”

  “Awwl, thanks, Khya, but I’ll be okay. The Big Easy will take care of me.”

  “Well, I’ll stay with you, Seven,” Shae volunteered.

  “You know what?” Khya said. “I’ll stay too. I’ll tell my mom that I want to be in New Orleans for the Thanksgiving Day Parade. She’ll understand.”

  “Well, don’t look at me,” Courtney said, “’cause I’m going home. I need to eat some of my mama’s hogmawls, pig knuckles, baked chicken gizzards, and sweet potato pie. I like y’all and all, but hmph, it’s one thing to put up with you at school but during the holidays? Skip that.”

  “You are so rude,” Khya snapped at Courtney.

  “You wanna see me naked, don’t you?” Courtney winked at Khya. “Two snaps up and a fruit loop, girl, the things I would do to you.”

  “Wassup, Seven?” jumped its way over to our table, causing our conversation to come to a halt.

  I didn’t have to look in the direction of the annoying voice to know that it was Josiah. I cut my eye over at him, flicked him a “Hi” and turned back to my crew. “Maybe for winter break—”

  “It’s like that, Seven? I can’t even hollah at you for a minute? I used to be able to talk to you about anything. We used to be best friends.”

  I rolled my eyes and turned toward Josiah. “You said hi and I waved. What more do you want?”

  “I would like to speak to you for a minute.” He paused and when he saw I wasn’t moving he said, “Please.”

  I sighed. “Give me a minute,” I said to my friends. Josiah and I stepped to a secluded corner of the room. “What?” I snapped. “What is it?”

  He looked me over and smiled. “You look good.”

  Silence.

  “You know I always loved that little crease that ran across your nose when you were mad at me.”

  “Okay, time’s up.” I turned back toward my friends.

  “Nah, wait,” Josiah said. “Just give me a minute.”

  “I don’t have any more minutes to give you.”

  “Seven, just hear me out.”

  “What …” I said slowly, “do … you … want?”

  “Wassup with you and your new man?”

  I stood stunned. “Have you lost all control? You called me over here for this?”

  “Yeah, wassup with him?”

  “Trust, communication, fidelity, love. Now, big pimpin’, wassup with you and your fleet of girlz?”

  “I don’t have a fleet and I don’t have a girl. You’re the only one who could ever wear the title of being my girl.”

  “O … M … G … I’m done.” I turned away.

  “Seven—”

  “What?”

  “You need to be careful.”

  “Of what? You stalking me?”

  “Nah, of your boy, I heard he’s a rubber-band man.”

  “What … are you talking about?” I said, clearly annoyed.

  “I heard he’s living that trap life. You know movin’ illegal weight.”

  I paused and then I spat, “You are such a hater.”

  “I’m not hatin’ on him. Hell, he stole my girl.”

  “I’m done with this conversation, okay. Now run along”—I flicked my hand—“and go play with your little two-dollar tricks, because Seven is busy.”

  I know it may have been pouring it on extra thick, but I have to admit that when I glided away from Josiah, I was sure to put a little extra motion in my ocean. “What was that about?” Shae asked when I sat back down.

  “Nothing. He’s trippin’.”

  “Oh really?” Courtney said, sliding out of his seat. “Well, let me see if I can find him, in case he needs somebody to console him.”

  “What are we going to do for Thanksgiving if we don’t go home?” Khya asked as we walked back to our dorm from the caf.

  “You’ll come with me over to Zaire’s grandmother’s house,” I said.

  “Maw-Maw’s?” Khya’s face lit up. “She gon’ cook?”

  “Yeah, and he calls her Big-Maw.”

  “Honey, Big-Maw, Maw-Maw, just let me in the doe’,” Khya said in an extremely enhanced southern accent. “I don’t even know this lady and I can’t wait to eat her food.”

  “Well, I sure hope it’s good,” Shae said to Khya, “or it’s obvious you’ll be a wreck.”

  “Chile, a N’awlins grandmamma that can’t cook would tear me apart—hey, Seven.” She pointed. “Is that your boo?”

  I looked up and Zaire was in the parking lot, leaned against his truck with some chick dead up in his face. Suddenly I felt stupid and I hated that my mind kept saying, Not again. Not again.

  “Who is that he’s talking to?” Khya asked.

  “I don’t know and I don’t care,” I said nonchalantly. “So it’s whatever.” I turned toward the way of our dorm.

  “You’re not going to go over there and speak to your man?” Khya said.

  “First off he’s not my man, we’re just kickin’ it. Homies. And heck no, I’m not going over there.” I struggled to play my hurt feelings off. “For what? I’m not on it like that. Heck, I just met him yesterday.”

  “Y’all been kicking it for a month,” Shae interjected. “And just because he’s talking to a chick doesn’t mean that she’s more than a friend or an acquaintance. P
lus, Seven, he’s looking over here.”

  “That’s nice.” I continued to walk away.

  “Seven,” Shae called, “he’s calling you.”

  “Girl, bye, do I look crazy? I am so not the one.” I walked quickly to the dorm and left them trailing behind me.

  “You trippin’,” Shae said as she and Khya walked into the room a few minutes after me.

  “I’m far from trippin’. I’m just keeping it real.”

  “Based on what, though?” Khya said, confused. “Josiah?”

  “This has nothing to do with Josiah,” I said confidently. “This has to do with Seven. And Seven is not about to put up with mess.”

  “But the boy didn’t do anything,” Khya said in disbelief.

  “He had some chick in his face.” My eyes popped out. “He was all in the parking lot kicking it to her, and after what I just went through, you think I’ma ignore that? Nah, not me.”

  “But true story though, Seven. Zaire put his feelings out there and you said y’all were homies, so like, he really doesn’t owe you any explanation about who he talks to.”

  “Sho’ right, Shae,” Khya spat. “I bet you you’ll be slow about assigning crazy titles from now on out won’t you, Seven?”

  I flicked my hand. “Whatever,” I said as my cell phone rang. I looked at the caller ID. It was Zaire and I nicely pressed ignore.

  “On that note,” Shae said, “who’s up for walking down to Bourbon Street?”

  “You know I’m down.” Khya smiled.

  “I’ll go too, as long as you two leave the Zaire convo alone,” I said as my phone rang again. Of course it was Zaire and I sent his call where? You got it: to voice mail.

  “Seven?” Khya asked, “Was that Zaire?”

  “Yep.”

  “Oh, so you have just turned into the mad black woman, huh?”

  “Whatever.” Zaire called a few more times back to back, and each time I ignored his calls. “Look, can we leave now?” I asked.

  “Sure wish I could go to Bourbon Street.” Courtney pounded on the wall.

  “Oh boy,” Shae said, exhausted. “Come on, Courtney!”

  “Huh?” Courtney responded and I could only imagine him batting his lashes. “Did somebody call me?”