Dare to Love

by Carly Phillips

  She glanced at the monitor, hoping Dylan hadn’t found a reason for them to stay even later. She was exhausted. She hadn’t been getting much sleep since the incident with her father. Since she’d left Ian’s and had gone back to sleeping alone in her own bed.

  She looked at the screen, and her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest.

  Ian: I need to speak to you.

  She blinked, certain she was misreading. He’d avoided her since her return to work. She hadn’t bumped into him in the hall nor had he sought her out. He hadn’t called to check on her either. He’d just cut ties, and damned if that didn’t hurt. After the longest month of her life, he was asking for her now?

  She knew he couldn’t want anything job related. She didn’t work under him.

  Her pulse began to race as she typed back.

  Riley: Just leaving for the day. Will stop by on my way out.

  Ian: I’ll be waiting.

  Her nerves kicked in as she powered down her computer and grabbed her purse, shutting the light off as she walked out of her office.

  After five, support staff was gone for the day, and she knocked on his door, letting herself in.

  He rose as soon as she stepped inside. “Lock the door,” he said by way of greeting.

  She automatically did as he asked, closing them in his office. Alone. Beneath her collar, she began to perspire from sheer nerves because she knew, no matter why he’d called her in here, they’d be having it out.

  Possibly for good.

  As usual for this time of day, his jacket was off, hung on a hook on his door, his tie was undone, and the top buttons on his dress shirt open. He looked scruffy and hot, but as sexy as he appeared, he also looked tired, dark circles shadowing his eyes, and she wondered if he’d lost as much sleep as she had since they’d been apart.

  “How are you?” he asked, his searing gaze raking her over.

  “Fine. Apparently I have a hard head.” She knocked on her skull with her knuckles.

  He didn’t laugh. “Don’t joke about what that bastard did to you.”

  “Well, I’m not going to cry about it.” She’d done enough of that over Ian and her father both. After a lifetime of abuse, she still shed a tear over the kind of parent she had and the way he treated her.

  “You look good,” Ian said, sounding relieved. “I was worried.”

  “Bullshit.” The words were out before she could think, taking her by surprise.

  He reared back, staring at her.

  “What? You want me to think you actually care? Is that why you walked out on me at the hospital and I haven’t heard from you since?”

  From the minute she’d entered this office, she’d felt her emotions brewing below the surface. She wasn’t surprised they were coming out now. She’d spent so much time first berating herself for violating Ian’s trust and then missing the good times they’d shared, she hadn’t allowed her anger at him to truly surface. But as she stood here now, it was alive and vibrating within her.

  “Go on,” he said in a deceptively calm voice.

  She flexed her fingers and decided to take her therapist’s advice. Of course, she’d only had two sessions, but they’d been plenty productive. The first lesson? Let yourself feel. The second? Express those feelings before they eat you alive.

  What was the worst thing that could happen? Ian had already abandoned her. She strode up to his desk, bracing her arms on the wooden top.

  “My father slapped me. My head slammed against a brick wall. And you didn’t come in to see if I was okay.”

  His eyes darkened, and his cheeks burned with what she’d like to think was embarrassment.

  “The doctor came out with an update on your condition,” he said.

  “Oh. That makes it all better,” she said, her temper rising.

  “I never said it did.”

  His placid demeanor drove her insane. “I know I screwed up by not coming to you about my father’s threats, but I had my reasons. I wanted the chance to explain them to you, but you wouldn’t give me the chance.”

  She straightened and walked to his side of the desk, stepping into his personal space. “You dumped me on Alex and took off, never to be heard from again. Did you feel better after?” She shoved at his chest, hurt and so very betrayed. “Hmm? Did punishing me for defying you make you happy, Ian?” She shoved at him again.

  He grabbed her wrist. “Nothing about how I handled this makes me happy. I was an arrogant ass. Is that what you want to hear? I thought if I laid down the law that you’d have to come to me first. Always. Then I’d have—”

  “Control,” she said at the same time as him.

  “Exactly,” he muttered.

  “Well, I hope your precious control keeps you warm at night,” she snapped at him.

  “It doesn’t.”

  “Good.” Because she was lonely too.

  He lifted a strand of her hair and twisted it between his fingers. She felt the pull straight through to her skin. It was the start of him getting to her—if she allowed him to.

  She hadn’t decided yet. “I’m human, which means I’m going to make my own decisions. And I’m going make mistakes,” she told him.

  A smirk edged the corners of his mouth.

  “Unbelievable. You’re laughing?”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m just realizing you’re smarter than I’ve ever been.”

  She tipped her head to one side. “Say that again?”

  “Hell no. It’s taken me too long to catch up,” he muttered, more to himself than to her.

  “Meaning?” she asked, her tone weary even to her.

  He cupped her chin in his hand, just begging her to turn into him and find comfort. And she was tired. So tired of riddles and talking in circles. Tired of being alone.

  His thumb caressed her jaw, and she couldn’t help but stare into his eyes.

  “Meaning, I love you,” he said in a strong voice.

  Riley gasped. “You—”

  “I love you.” His eyes were warm.

  No longer that steely grey. She couldn’t name the color, just the temperature in their depths. And there was heat. Lots and lots of heat. Everything inside her melted, at both his expression and the words she’d longed to hear.

  “You’re strong enough to overcome your past, and you’re strong enough to deal with me. From the minute you walked into that ballroom, you were it for me,” he said in a gruff, emotional tone she’d never heard from him before.

  She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “How do I know you won’t find some reason to push me away again?”

  His hand remained on her cheek. “You trust me. How do I know you won’t leave me for a better bet?”

  “You trust me,” she said, a slow grin spreading across her face.

  Then she did the one thing that guaranteed him she understood. She grasped his wrist and turned her head, easing her cheek into his palm, accepting him and opening herself to them.

  “I love you too, Ian.”

  The words reverberated in his brain until finally settling in his heart. She meant it. More important, he believed it.

  He lifted her up and seated her on the desk, stepping between her legs. “I’m not sure how I got so lucky, but I won’t be screwing this up.”

  She wound her arms around his neck. “How about you just screw me instead? How’s that for a play on words?”

  “Not funny.” He leaned in, touching his nose to hers. “I’ll be making love to you, not screwing you. And that’s something you’d better remember.”

  He eased her skirt up around her legs, pulling off her barely there panties. “I think you should give up on underwear too,” he informed her. “It’ll make my life so much easier.”

  “Works for me,” she said as her trembling fingers fumbled with his belt buckle, finally opening his pants.

  He stepped back long enough to drop his trousers and kick them aside. He came back to her, taking his time, allowing his cock to slide up and
down her sex. He couldn’t refrain from glancing down, viewing his glide against her slick folds.

  She answered with a soft moan. “I didn’t think we’d be like this again,” she whispered.

  Knowing he’d broken her heart, he swore to himself he’d do everything possible to mend it and keep her whole for the rest of her life.

  His gaze never leaving hers, he eased himself inside her slowly, reveling in the feel of her internal muscles as she clasped and clutched around his shaft.

  She braced herself on her elbows, locking her legs around his waist, holding him in place.

  “I love you,” he said, thrusting deep.

  Her eyes opened wide, and she moaned at the intimate contact.

  “I love you too,” she said. “So much.”

  With her words came soul-shattering emotion, as he made her his, settling so far inside her she became part of him. And every time he breathed, the base of his cock rubbed her clit, bringing them both closer to completion.

  One good drive into her again and he’d come, but he didn’t want to take her hard and fast and lose the beauty of the moment. Instead, he rocked against her, over and over, rolling his hips against hers, letting her soft breaths, clutching fingers, and wet heat work their own brand of magic.

  He leaned in and pressed his lips against hers just as she started to come. She tugged at his hair with her fingers and rolled her hips, bucking against him. His cock grew rigid, his entire body tripping in ecstasy, feeling every second of her release.

  “Oh, Ian! Love you, love you, love you!”

  Her continuing chant triggered his release, and he began to thrust, his body consumed by the biggest tidal wave of heat and sensation he’d ever experienced. He was overwhelmed by the feelings and emotion pulsing through him as he spilled himself inside her. To his shock, she continued to pulse around him, aftershocks or a continuation of her equally explosive climax.

  Unwilling to separate, he remained inside her and stroked her hair as they both came down.

  “Ian?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Next time, you can tie me up,” she murmured.

  And damned if his cock didn’t twitch in agreement. He appreciated that she might want to give him what she thought he needed, but the truth was, all he needed was Riley. The rest didn’t matter.

  He reluctantly pulled out of her. He headed for the bathroom, returning with a wet cloth. After taking care of her, he lifted her into his arms and moved them to the couch, where she cuddled on top of him, her head resting on his shoulder.

  They lay in silence for a while, her rhythmic breathing reassuring him she wasn’t going anywhere ever again.

  “I’m seeing a therapist,” she said softly.

  Her sudden revelation surprised him, but he was glad she decided to confide in him. “Is it helping?”

  “It is.” She paused. “I need to tell you what happened with my father.”

  He nodded, needing to hear it too. “I assume he called and asked for money.”

  “Mmm-hmm. He saw the photos of us and decided you were his ticket to a windfall. He threatened to create a scandal that would embarrass you and the team. He swore you would drop me like the trash I always was.” She shuddered as she spoke, and he realized the awful lies she’d grown up hearing about herself.

  He tightened his arms around her and tried like hell to suppress the anger reverberating through him. She didn’t need that from him now.

  “I knew you wouldn’t care, but I did. I didn’t want to bring that kind of humiliation into your life, or your family’s. None of you needed or deserved that.”

  “How about next time, you let me decide what I need?”

  She nodded into his chest. “The thing is, even though he didn’t hit me when I was younger, he made sure I knew my place. That I wasn’t worth a damned thing, and those feelings came flooding back. I just wanted to fix it myself and make him go away. But when I got to the pawnshop, I couldn’t do it.”

  Ian stilled. “But your father had the necklace in his hand. I just assumed you were giving it to him to sell.”

  She lifted herself up and straddled his waist. “No. I was going to pawn the necklace and give him the money at some point in the future. But I changed my mind. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t give in to him one more time in my life, and I really couldn’t part with the necklace you’d given me.”

  She reached up, her expression crestfallen when she realized the pendant was no longer there.

  He could fix that, but he wanted her to finish unburdening herself first.

  “I stood in the pawnshop and decided right then to go to you, so we could figure out what to do together. But when I walked out, my father was there, demanding the cash, and you know the rest.”

  Yeah. He knew. “Riley, you have to know you’re worth everything to me. You make me a better man. And I’m so damned sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me afterwards.”

  Her eyes filled, and his heart squeezed tightly. He hated causing her any kind of pain.

  “You’re here now.”

  “And I’m not going anywhere ever.” He’d been without her, and he wasn’t going back to that empty place again. “Which reminds me. The reason I called you in here in the first place. Scoot over.”

  She slid off him, and he headed to his desk, coming back with two boxes. He handed her the long one first.

  She opened it and squealed with delight. “My necklace!”

  “I called the police and managed to convince them to return it to me after your father pleaded guilty.”

  “The district attorney called me to approve the deal.”

  “You’re okay with the five years?”

  She nodded. “As long as he’s behind bars and I get a restraining order when he gets out, I’m okay.”

  Ian wouldn’t let the man anywhere near her, but it was a discussion for far in the future.

  He was more interested in focusing on the present. He lifted the necklace, and she raised her hair so he could replace it on her neck, where it belonged.

  “I had the clasp fixed, and they cleaned it too.”

  She turned and kissed him. “Thank you.” She touched the pendant. “I feel like you’re always with me when I wear it.”

  “Then I hope you’ll feel the same way about its mate.”

  She narrowed her gaze, wrinkling her nose in curiosity as he handed her the small box. “Ian?” she asked, her voice trembling.

  He understood because his insides were a quaking mess.

  Her hands shook as she lifted the top off the box, revealing the match to the pendant in ring form. A pear-shaped diamond that was too big, he knew, but he didn’t care.

  Corny as it was, he dropped to one knee. “Marry me,” he said as she stared open-mouthed at the ring.

  “Was that a question or a demand?” she asked, half laughing, half crying.

  He grinned. “Still working on that part of me.”

  She met his gaze, her expression solemn. “I don’t want to change you completely. I just need—”

  He grasped her wrist. “I know what you need, and I want to be the one to give it to you.”

  “Tell me that includes you keeping control in the bedroom, because there are places I really don’t mind you taking over.”

  “Is that a yes to my proposal?” he asked, his heart still hammering hard in his chest.

  She wriggled her fingers in front of him. “Yes. Yes!”

  He slid the ring onto her finger, grateful his sister had guessed her finger size correctly.

  He rose and settled back on the couch, pulling her into his arms.

  She sighed and snuggled close.

  He didn’t know how long they lay, her heart beating against his chest, but it was long enough for everything inside him to settle and for him to find the peace that had always eluded him.

  Peace he sensed he’d now have, every day for the rest of his life, because he’d finally done what he’d always thought was impossible. He’
d dared to love. And he had Riley to thank for teaching him how.

  EPILOGUE

  6 Months Later

  Surrounded by his siblings, real and half, Alex nursed a beer as he glanced around his half brother’s apartment. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. The food was phenomenal, Ian having spared no expense. He was doing his damnedest not to follow up every thought of Ian with an expletive or complaint, but old habits were hard to break.

  The lovebirds couldn’t take their hands off each other. Considering this was an engagement party, as well as a redo of the family event he’d botched a few months ago, Alex figured that was to be expected.

  He wondered how long he had to stay before he could bow out and not have it look suspicious.

  “What’s with the scowl?” his sister Sienna asked.

  “I’m not scowling.” Was he?

  “You’re okay, right?” She wrapped her arms around him for a tight hug.

  “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  She frowned at him. “You can fool the others, but I know you. You’re jealous of Ian and Riley, and I’m worried about you.”

  Her words hit him where it hurt. “I am not jealous.”

  She settled her hands on her hips. “You’ve had Riley to yourself for years. Then Ian comes along and…well, you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t a little envious of what they have.”

  Even if he was, Alex wouldn’t admit it out loud. Not even to the sister he loved. “It’s fine. I want her to be happy, even if it is with him.” He nodded toward Ian, doing his best to keep his expression neutral.

  “Are you sure you aren’t…a little bit in love with her?” Sienna asked.

  Alex blanched. “Hell no. That’d be the same as thinking of you that way.”

  Sienna raised one eyebrow. “That was a quick denial.”

  “Look, maybe once, a long time ago…” He shook his head, not wanting to remember or even admit that, yeah, he’d once had feelings for Riley. Feelings that had been in no way brotherly.

  Then he’d kissed her, she’d freaked out, saying they were such good friends, why ruin it, and he’d agreed. Quickly. Better that than to lose her, which seemed a certainty given that she clearly hadn’t felt the same way about him.