The Perception

by Adriana Locke

  “Good.” I swallowed and left the room. I grabbed both boxes from the pantry. I stuck the small one in my pocket and carried the bigger of the two back into the living room.

  My heart was beating like a jackhammer, pounding like I’d never felt it pound before. I was usually so calm and collected, confident in my abilities. But this beautiful spitfire reduced me to a nervous mess. She was the only thing I wasn’t sure I could bend to my will.

  But she was the only thing I wanted to.

  She was the only thing I had to.

  “I have something for you,” I said, handing her the box.

  She turned the red foil-wrapped package over in her hands. A little larger than a deck of cards, she looked puzzled. “Why are you giving me a gift?”

  “Can’t I just give you a gift?”

  “Sure, but I wish I would’ve known. I would’ve gotten you something.” She smiled up at me, a pure, genuine smile. I ran my fingers across her lips.

  “This smile is enough.”

  She sat the box in her lap and shook her head before she opened it carefully. My nerves were picking up pace with every tear of the foil. Every piece of tape that was removed only made me inch that much closer to losing my shit.

  She tore away the final bit of paper and wadded it up and sat it on the table. She looked quizzically at me before opening the lid and lifting out the old-fashioned cassette tape inside.

  “Mix Tape 2015,” she read off the label. “You made me a mix tape?” she laughed in amazement.

  I tucked my chin down, a little embarrassed with myself. “I did. I put a bunch of songs I want you to listen to as you drive to work or go hiking so you’ll think of me.”

  “How did you do this? I didn’t know they even made these anymore!”

  “Lucy got overtime for that,” I laughed. “There’s actually a little memory stick inside the cassette. It just looks like that.”

  She touched her lips to mine. “I love this. It’s seriously the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. I can’t wait to listen to it.”

  A ball lodged in my throat, tightening fast. I anticipated it happening, but not so quickly. Unable to speak for a second, I nodded my head to the sound system. I cleared my throat, willing the knot to go away. “Put it in there. Press play.”

  Calm the fuck down, Quinn!

  She furrowed her eyebrows but slowly got up. She made her way to the system and put the tape in and pressed “play.” Train’s Marry Me came out of the speakers softly, the notes floating through the room. Her eyes widened as she seemed to put two and two together and sat back down next to me on the couch.

  I pulled her into my side, feeling her heart racing, matching mine beat for beat. The words of the song wrapped themselves around us, creating just the atmosphere I had hoped for.

  As the band hit the last chorus, I nuzzled my nose into her hair and began singing softly. I could tell she didn’t know whether to take it for face value or to read into it, but I kept going, my voice getting stronger as her reaction stayed favorable.

  I breathed in the smell of coconuts, a scent that I traced back to Kari every time I smelled it. I felt her melt into me as the song ended instead of jumping up like I halfway expected.

  With more nerves that I’d ever felt, I eased away from her. I swiped the other box out of my back pocket, my entire world hanging in the balance.

  I got down on one knee and sat the box in her lap.

  Her eyes were wide, but she didn’t pull away. Her green depths danced with a myriad of emotions, but I was relieved that she didn’t seem fearful, just nervous.

  I cleared my throat, willing my voice to work, and put my hands on her knees. “Kari, I’ve asked you a million times to marry me and a million times you’ve said no. I’m hoping this time the little karaoke thing works for me again.”

  A nervous laugh escaped her lips and her hands shook as I took them in mine. “There’s nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for you, no scenario that I could imagine not being with you. I knew the first time I saw you that you were someone special.”

  She kissed me softly on the lips before pulling back, not saying a word.

  “But now I have a problem.”

  Her eyes darted across my face, her eyebrows furrowing.

  “I have this girl that I am so in love with and she won’t agree to marry me.” I grinned so she would know I was kidding and she reached up and touched my dimple, making me grin harder. “I racked my brain for a good reason for you to say no and I couldn’t find one. So I went to your daddy to see what he had to say and he gave me his blessing.”

  “You did?” she asked in disbelief.

  “I did. And he said I could marry you if you said yes and I promised him you would. Because I mean it this time, sweetheart. Not that I didn’t mean it before . . .” I felt the lump form again. “This time I won’t take no for an answer. I know you’re scared and you worry that—” I began, starting my spiel to sell myself to her when she cut me off.

  “Yes,” she breathed out.

  One simple word, three little letters, had my world halting on its axis. I was prepared to go full-out, explaining every which way why she should marry me and she said yes.

  She. Said. Yes.

  “Yes?” I asked, not wanting to put too much credence into it in case there was a “but” coming. There had to be. I was dealing with Kari Stanley, after all.

  “Yes.” She smiled at me again, wider this time. She shrugged like it was no big deal, like she’d just agreed to go to dinner with me.

  Well, hell’s bells.

  I couldn’t speak. I was afraid if I said something, she’d backtrack. Instead, I started opening the box I sat on her lap.

  “You’re really going to marry me?” she asked, her voice just above a whisper. I could hear the hesitation in it, but not like I expected. She sounded surprised, like she couldn’t believe I wanted to marry her.

  I laughed loudly. “Sweetheart, if I could figure out a way to make it legal, I’d marry you right now. But yeah, I’m marrying you—you better believe it.”

  Her arms were around my neck before I knew what was happening, her lips on mine, her hands in my hair. She kissed me like I was her last breath, like her life depended on it. Maybe it did because my life sure as hell depended on her.

  She pulled back and let me slip the ring on her finger. She took a look at it, a 2 carat brilliant cut diamond set in both white and yellow golds. It had 32 small brilliant cut diamonds flanking the center one.

  “Max! Oh my God. This is gorgeous.” Her right hand flew to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears.

  “It was my grandmother’s,” I said quietly, thinking how perfect it looked sitting on her finger. “When I told Mom I was going to propose, she offered it to me. If you don’t like it, I can always—”

  “I love it,” she whispered. “It is absolutely perfect. Your mother doesn’t mind?”

  I grinned. “Nah, she’s said to tell you to remember what she said and that’s enough.”

  Tears began to spill over her cheeks and she wrapped her arms around my neck again. I buried my face in her neck and picked her up, heading for the stairs. “I don’t think I actually got to say the words,” I mumbled in between kisses to her neck. “And I want to actually say them.”

  She nodded and I could feel her hold tighten.

  “Marry me?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she said.

  Finally.

  KARI

  Payson had been the best weekend of my life. I called my father and Jada on the way back to the Valley and they were both ecstatic.

  Max called his mother and she demanded to talk to me. She welcomed me into the family, making me simultaneously uncomfortable and yet so amazingly content. He then called Pierce and Isa and Isa had insisted we start planning a party.

  The way the Quinn’s saw family was hard to wrap my brain around. They welcomed me with open arms, no questions asked. After our mother died when we were young, Jad
a and I only had our father—that was it. No grandparents. No aunts and uncles. No cousins. So this new way of looking at it was going to take getting used to, but I had a feeling I’d adjust quickly. It was nice being a part of something bigger than myself, of knowing these people cared about me and were excited to have me around. I never expected to feel so okay about something like that, but I did.

  Before I left for work on Monday, Jada stopped by the house. She wanted to see the ring and get every last crumb of a detail about the proposal. We sat in the living room while I relived the moment of Max starting to ask me and me cutting him off. Jada was aggravated that I didn’t let him get the question out.

  “But he had asked me a million times and I said no. I just needed him to cut to the chase and he was rambling,” I said matter-of-factly.

  “You ruined his moment! You should have at least let the poor guy ask!” Jada said.

  “He asked me again later. And made me repeat it over and over . . . or maybe that was just me saying ‘yes’ when I was getting off. Either way.”

  “Oh my gosh,” Jada said, shaking her head. “Do you have any decency?”

  “Nope,” I said, with a pop on the p. “So, anyway, I’m getting married now and you’re having a baby. Let’s talk baby shower.”

  She sat her water bottle down. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings or Heather’s or Mandi’s, but I really don’t want one. I’ve talked to Cane about it. We have everything we could ever want and if I need something, I can go buy it. If you want to buy little things or something to celebrate, that’s fine, but I don’t want to register or anything like that. It feels . . . weird. I know what it feels like to go to those things and be on a budget and now . . .” She smiled almost sadly. “Now I have money. A lot of it. And I don’t want anyone buying me these expensive things. If they want to send something, they can send it because they saw it and thought we’d like it, if that makes sense.”

  I loved her heart. Jada was sweet and considerate and this was exactly the kind of thing I expected out of her, although I was sad I wouldn’t get to throw her a shower.

  “I get it. I really do.”

  “You can even have them make a donation to a women’s shelter. What about the one Mom volunteered at?”

  “That’s a good idea,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ll put something together.” I took a drink of my water. “How are you feeling?”

  Her face lit up, making her glow brighter. She was the prettiest pregnant woman I’d ever seen. A part of me hated that I’d never get to see myself all swollen and blimpish, my ankles as big as elephants, like Jada was at the moment.

  Stop it. You have more than you could ever wish for.

  “I’m really good. I feel great now that the morning sickness has kind of stopped. But I’m ready to see my toes again. I complained about it last night and Cane volunteered to paint my toenails. I told him no way,” she giggled.

  “Yeah, let’s go get a pedicure and keep Cane out of it. That’s weird.”

  “Right?” she laughed. “Okay, I gotta go. I have a doctor’s appointment this afternoon and you have to go to work, right?”

  I nodded and stood, pulling her hand and helping her get to her feet. “Just a few weeks left, sister.”

  “Just a few weeks left.”

  KARI

  “Today’s been one-of-a-kind,” Connor said, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

  “It sure has and I’m ready to go home. I’m just exhausted.” I dug through my pocket for some Tylenol. My entire body ached and I wanted to feel good when I got home to Max to celebrate. I opened the pocket of the lining and pulled out a sticky note.

  I giggled and shoved it back inside, forgetting about the pain reliever.

  “Want some coffee?” Connor asked, stirring a red stick around in his cup. The corner of his mouth was upturned, making him look young and mischievous. He was incredibly handsome.

  I turned up my nose. “That stuff smells rancid.”

  He took a big gulp and smiled. “It’s fine by me.”

  “If you turn up in the ER, I’ll let them know what happened,” I laughed. I reached for a bottle of water and the light caught the diamond.

  “Ah, what’s this?” Connor asked, nodding to my hand. “Someone had an eventful weekend, it appears.”

  I blushed, feeling almost giddy. “I did. Max proposed.”

  He grinned back, watching me with interest. “I’m assuming you said yes.”

  “I did. I finally did.”

  “Finally?”

  “He’s been asking for months,” I laughed.

  “What changed your mind?” He took a sip of his coffee and waited patiently. He was a bit of an asshole, I’d seen that firsthand, but that was usually when someone wasn’t listening or was making a decision that was uninformed. Most times he was kind and he was very smart—we just got along. We clicked like we’d known each other forever. I couldn’t explain it.

  I twisted the cap off my bottle. “It was just time. Things just sort of fell in place. I think once you know, you know. Sounds stupid, but it’s true. Hey, how’s your mother?”

  He took a deep breath. “She’s alright, learning how to deal with her condition. I just got the results from her last exam yesterday and I expected it to look better than it does.”

  “I’m sorry. Anything I can do?”

  He took another drink. “Thank you. There’s really nothing we can do. I have her on the best treatment plan and I’m monitoring everything I can.”

  “Just do everything you can and let me know if I can help out somehow.”

  “I’ve been trying to make sure she has everything lined up—paperwork, insurances, things like that. I’m trying to get her to write a will and get her medical end-of-life care lined out. Not that she’s dying today, but I’ve seen things change in a matter of days. I know you’ve seen that, too.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I’m trying to get her to work out all her loose ends. You know, tie everything up that she has dangling out there.”

  “It’s just you though, right? I mean, you don’t have to consult with brothers or sisters or anything?”

  “Yeah. She does have another son somewhere. I thought she might want to try to find him. I mean, I think it would be a good thing for her to have some sort of closure. She never really talked about him at all. I found out he existed by finding a picture of him when I was younger. He was standing in the middle of a sand pile with a big yellow Tonka truck. I thought it might be me because he looked like me, but I didn’t have a truck like that. And of course I took the picture to my mom and told her I wanted to know where that truck was!” he laughed. “Then she explained that he was my brother but he lived with his father. And she just brushed me off if I ever brought it up again, so finally I just stopped.”

  “So she never saw him at all?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t think so. I really know nothing about any of it, but I think she should try to fix that part of her life. Then again, he might hate her. I don’t know. Hard to tell. I just hope she tries, for her sake.”

  I watched him sip his drink again, so in control, so thoughtful. “You know, a lot of people would discourage that meeting. He might come in and want your inheritance.”

  Connor laughed. “I have enough of my own. If he would need it that badly, then I’d split it with him. It’s just money.”

  “I really respect that.”

  “Life is all about the way you look at it. The same situation can look completely different if you change your perception. I can look at it and say, ‘Yeah, I want the money and my mom to myself’ and be greedy like that. Do what’s best for me. Or I can look at it from her perspective and say, ‘It might make a difference in her life to know what happened to her other kid.’ I just don’t want to be the reason that doesn’t happen.”

  MAX

  It had been a typical Monday with shit getting slung every which way, except the fact that I was dealing with it all with a
legitimate fiancée at home.

  The grin hadn’t left my face since Kari agreed to marry me. We settled back in the house on Sunday and spent the day just smiling at each other. I’m sure if anyone was looking in the windows, we looked dumb as shit. Part of me was afraid of talkin’ too much, that I’d say something that would change her mind. Not that I’d let her get away with changing it, because I wouldn’t.

  We hadn’t really talked much about actually getting married. I knew Jada brought it up to her, but I didn’t want to put too much on her in one weekend. The more I thought about it, though, the more I thought that we needed to get it done soon. I’d waited what felt like a lifetime already.

  Just as I was going to send Kari a text to that extent, Cane burst through my office door, unannounced.

  You’d think the bastard owned the place or something.

  “What do we have here?” He smirked as he waltzed into my office and made himself at home in the seat across from me.

  “Someone tryin’ to work. I know that’s a foreign concept to you, Alexander, but—”

  “Fuck you,” he said, then smiled brightly. “My buddy is getting married. It’s about damn time.”

  “You can say that again,” I muttered.

  Cane tossed his head back and laughed. “Do you have a date yet? Jada said Kari didn’t want to wait.”

  “Wait for what?” a voice said from the doorway.

  Cane turned his head and I looked up to see Sam standing there. She had a notepad pressed against her chest, her eyes darting between us. “Kari doesn’t want to wait for what?” she repeated.

  Cane looked at me out of the corner of his eye, the corner of his lip upturned.

  Oh, hell.

  “Kari doesn’t want to wait to get married,” he said with a smile.

  Sam’s eyes grew wider before she recovered her composure. “Well, I’m sure that as soon as she finds someone that wants to marry her, it’ll happen fast.” She took a couple of steps towards my desk before Cane’s words rooted her in place.

  “She did. Max and Kari are getting married.”