Deep in a Texan's Heart

by Sara Orwig

  He shrugged. “Just asking because you’re interested.”

  “Abigail keeps up with the schedule. Anytime, now, we’re getting furniture and supplies ordered for the center. I’ve enjoyed working on it. It seems impossible to think I’ll have a child who’ll be there sometimes.”

  “We will have a child who will be there sometimes,” he corrected. “And yes, I can’t imagine that one. I can’t imagine any kids running around the club, but they’re going to before long.”

  “And you still don’t approve, do you?”

  He kept his attention on his driving while he paused before he answered. “I still don’t. But for your sake, and our baby’s sake, I’ll probably accept it once it’s a done deal. I have no choice.”

  “At least you’re honest. That’s right, too, you don’t have a choice,” she remarked, watching him. The time would come when he would pressure her more to do what he wanted, yet maybe she was misjudging him again. She lapsed into silence as he drove, her thoughts on him. Her feelings for him were growing. She couldn’t make love with him without getting emotionally entangled. Even after that first night, she had thought about him far more than she had expected she would. But it was this other side to him that made such a difference to her. The past couple of days and the way he had been positive and supportive had caused her to begin to care about him and let down her guard.

  Even so, his basic feelings about marriage and about the baby had surfaced and finally, he had acted exactly as she had expected and proposed.

  * * *

  The porch lights were on when they arrived at the Double H. Sam parked in the shadows on the drive beneath a tall oak and when she stepped out, she turned to face him. “Sorry I couldn’t say yes, and I regret how the evening turned out, but I really don’t have an appetite. I’ll get something here soon.”

  “Take care of yourself and don’t worry. Don’t get sick over this.”

  “I won’t.”

  “Lila, let me know when you want to go out and talk.”

  She nodded. “All right, I will. It might not be on this trip,” she said, feeling as though she was saying goodbye to him in a way—the physical side of their relationship had to stop and it would be easier to walk away now with his views on marriage in the open.

  “We can go out and stay off the subject of the future. Just be together.”

  “I don’t see any point,” she said, feeling sad. Even though this was what she had expected from the first, it pained her. “The more we go out, the more likely we are to fall in love and I think that might make everything worse, because you’re not going to change being an old-fashioned-type guy and I’m not going to change my career,” she said.

  “Not even to give your baby a daddy who’s there all the time?”

  “No, I’m not, because I might be happy for a while, but babies grow up and go off to school and then I would be miserable without a career. Better to break this off right now than later because love isn’t the total solution.”

  “Lila, that’s a logical answer, but we can go out and just have a good time,” he said, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Can’t I be more entertaining than you sitting home night after night while you’re here? Tonight was less than great for you. I’ll go to the TCC on the way home and have a steak. I wish you’d come with me.”

  “Sorry, not tonight.”

  “Let me make this night up to you. Darlin’, go out with me. I’ll pick you up at six again tomorrow and take you somewhere that will make you forget your worries.”

  Before she could answer, he leaned down to kiss her. His kiss banished her worries. All thinking stopped as she held him and returned his kiss, running her hand across his broad shoulder and then down his back to wrap her arm around his waist, feeling certain she was kissing him goodbye.

  He tightened his arms around her, leaning over her to kiss her passionately as if there had not been any argument or discord between them.

  When he released her, they both were breathing raggedly. “Will you go out with me tomorrow night?”

  “No, I won’t, in spite of wanting to kiss you,” she whispered, aware every hour spent with him made saying no much more difficult. “We can think about how we’ll share our baby, but beyond that, I don’t see any reason to go out together.”

  He put his arm lightly around her waist to walk to the house. “Don’t go in and worry, darlin’. Things will work out.”

  “You’re the supreme optimist, Sam.”

  “It’s more fun than being a pessimist—easier, too, because you don’t worry as much.”

  “I don’t see either one of us giving up our basic beliefs and hopes and dreams. You want a wife like my mom and I want a career, independence and my California life. Just keep that in mind when you get optimistic and want us to get together,” she said as they crossed her wide porch to the front door.

  “There is nothing to take your mind off troubles like energetic, sexy dances, some hot kisses and lots of laughs, so if you change your mind about going out, just call me. I don’t care what hour it is. I’ll drop everything and we’ll go.”

  “I’ll bear that offer in mind,” she said, hurting, sure they were growing more apart by the minute.

  He faced her at the door. “Lila, don’t set yourself up for loneliness and heartbreak. We’ll work out everything, darlin’. Go to bed and don’t worry.” Leaning down, he brushed a light kiss on her mouth. He paused to look into her eyes and she saw a flicker in the depths of his and knew that he would kiss her again. His gaze lowered to her mouth and she couldn’t get her breath. In spite of the differences between them, she longed to kiss him. He leaned closer, wrapping his arms around her to draw her up against him while his mouth pressed firmly, kissing her passionately.

  When he released her, she opened her eyes to find him watching her. She inhaled deeply. “Your kisses are sinful,” she whispered.

  “I sort of thought it was your kisses that were so wickedly enticing. Maybe I should try again to see if I’m right.”

  She stepped back quickly. “Go on to the TCC, Sam, and enjoy your steak. Good night.” She hurried into the house and closed the door.

  The house was silent, empty downstairs. She was certain her folks were asleep. Moving automatically, she went to her room to get ready for bed while her thoughts were on Sam and his proposal.

  She couldn’t marry him. There was just no way and it was asking for trouble to go out with him even one more time. But she had already promised to go to the end-of-summer party. He had a way of being cheerful and getting what he wanted. And his farewell with telling her to not worry—how could anyone involved in their situation avoid worrying? Sam was an optimist—and turned a deaf ear when anyone said no to what he wanted. He would soon see she meant it. She hurt and she wanted to get back to her busy life in California, where she could forget Royal, Texas and Sam Gordon. However much in love she was with Sam, she had only to think of his view of women and she could get over all warm feelings for him. Sam Gordon was not the man for her for the rest of her life.

  Making an effort to shake Sam out of her thoughts, she focused on the child-care center and Monday’s inspection. Another step closer to the finished product. The center had thick walls, insulation, an intercom, closed-circuit cameras, alarm buttons… All sorts of gadgets to keep the children safe in their new center. They needed more money, but she felt sure the club members who supported the children’s center would be generous with additional funds.

  After taking a warm shower and getting ready for bed, she wandered around her room, pausing at her dresser to open the box from Sam. Light sparkled on the diamonds as she picked up the necklace.

  Shaking her head, she returned the locket to the box. Sam was a combination of opposing qualities, some so appealing to her, others not enticing at all. She finally sat in the dark to gaze
out the window at the backyard. Lights were on at various spots among the trees and the pool was a glimmering aqua jewel with the pool lights on. What would she do about Sam and how could she deal with him on a long-term basis?

  She had no answers except the one certainty—she did not want to marry him. His unexpected behavior over learning about the pregnancy had changed some of her views of him. He wanted this baby beyond her wildest imaginings. His lovemaking had captured more of her heart than before. She knew she was in love with him, but how deep did it run?

  He had so many good things about him—he could be kind, gentle, understanding, amazing in his attitude about the baby, fun, sexier than anyone she had ever known, optimistic and confident. She had a wonderful time with him always, until they got on the subject of her career and the other side of him popped up—chauvinistic, old-fashioned, stubborn. A take-charge, commanding man who didn’t know how to accept not getting his way. Sometimes Sam’s charming qualities outweighed the ones she didn’t like—not just sometimes, most of the time.

  She had to admit, she had some strong feelings for him and in too many ways she liked him a lot. What scared her most—Sam was turning into a true friend. If she really had a problem, she could tell him and trust him. Friendship: the strongest base for love.

  “Sam,” she whispered. “Sam Gordon, my friend, my lover, father of my child. You already have my heart.” She didn’t want him to, but she ached so badly she suspected he did, almost completely, but not quite enough to give up her independence, her career, the way of life she wanted.

  Finally she climbed into bed to dream about Sam and being in his arms.

  * * *

  Monday morning she dressed in designer jeans with a bright red shirt that covered her waist to hide her pregnancy. How much easier this would be away from Royal.

  Her cell phone rang. When she answered, she heard Shannon.

  “Lila, Amanda Battle called me a few minutes ago because Nathan got a call from Gil Addison. There was an inspection scheduled today for the alarm system for the new center.”

  “Yes, I remember. We’re moving right along.”

  “The inspection failed. After they got to checking on it, they said someone had tampered with it.”

  Nine

  A chill turned Lila to ice. Her first thought was Sam. He had been so totally opposed to the child-care center and still opposed it. Sam had been at the club late Sunday night. In addition to his opposition, he was in construction and a member of the TCC. He would know how to get into the alarm system. He was a take-charge person accustomed to getting his way. Could Sam have been the one?

  She doubled her fist against her heart because she hurt over the thought that Sam might do such a thing. It would be a betrayal of trust, besides being unlawful.

  “Do they have a clue who did it?” She closed her eyes, hoping she would not hear Sam’s name.

  “Not that I know about. Nathan’s over there looking into it. Nathan is a smart man. He’ll catch who did this. They’ve already said it had to be a TCC member because no one else would have access to that room or the center’s alarm system unless it was the staff, and they aren’t at the club on weekend nights except for the security guard.”

  “There are a lot of members who opposed the center, including my dad. My dad would never willfully destroy part of the club just to cause trouble. Dad is law-abiding. You’d think all the TCC members would be,” Lila said.

  “I’m sure. It’s terrible because friends will be accusing friends. The vandalism goes against all the club stands for,” Lila said, thinking again of Sam and Josh Gordon. “My folks can account for their whereabouts last night. They went to bed early and were here asleep when I got home.”

  “Don’t worry, Lila. I don’t think anyone will accuse your dad, and definitely not your mom. I don’t have a worry where she’s concerned and I don’t think it was a woman. This seems more like the work of one of the men who is bitter over women being allowed in and now, the last straw, having a child-care center.”

  “I agree. It’ll be someone in that group. I hope Nathan finds him.

  “Shannon, my dad, Sam and Josh Gordon, all of those men who fought so bitterly, they empowered the person who did this. That fight and the hard feelings afterward may be what pushed someone into this,” she said, thinking Sam couldn’t have done it. Basically, she thought he was really a good person, just had old-fashioned ways. Her first fears about him were gone.

  “I imagine you’re right. The person who did it is probably friends with those who opposed the center and thinks he was doing them all a favor. I’ll see you later this morning. Are you still meeting with that rancher about the filming?”

  “Bob Milton. Not until one o’clock. That won’t interfere with us. About the alarm, do you wonder what else the person might do?”

  “We may have more vandalism with the children’s center.”

  “Between this and Alex’s puzzling disappearance, some bad things are happening. And this last event means someone intends to prevent the center from opening.”

  “I hate to leave Royal with a disaster hitting the children’s center, but Rory and I have plans. Anyway, I’ll see you at eleven at the club. Bye, Lila.”

  Lila set her cell phone on the dresser and rubbed her forehead.

  For the short time she had thought Sam might have sabotaged the alarm, she had more hurt than anger. There could only be one reason that the result was hurt. She had fallen in love with him.

  Feeling forlorn and unhappy, she covered her face. She was in love and it was impossible. His attitude about the baby and her pregnancy had amazed her and won her heart, yet she was still torn, now more than ever, over his old-fashioned views, his determination to marry even though he wasn’t in love with her.

  A TCC member had vandalized the alarm—that went against all the club stood for. Who could have done such a thing? Her doubts about Sam were gone. He wouldn’t do that any more than her dad would. But she still felt their arguments and bitter feelings had given resolve to whoever did it. The vandal may have thought the others would be supportive if he ever got caught.

  In a way they couldn’t foresee, with their bitter fight over the center, those men had inadvertently contributed to what had happened.

  This just brought back into focus Sam’s views and old-fashioned ways.

  She had no control over her heart. She loved Sam and she was going to have to get over it. Moving mindlessly, she headed toward the kitchen.

  She found her mother still in her blue velvet robe, lingering over her coffee. Her mom’s stylish bob was neatly combed. Except for a slight frown, she looked her usual serene self.

  “Hi. I guess you’ve heard the news about the TCC,” Lila said, pouring a glass of orange juice.

  “Yes, and I can’t believe it. Even your dad, who definitely opposes the child-care center, was shocked and upset. It worries him most that it has to be a TCC member.”

  “I’m sure that will be a big concern to a lot of them. For a few minutes I wondered about Sam.”

  “Sam would never do something like that,” Barbara said, and Lila shook her head.

  “I don’t think he would, but some TCC member did this. Sam was bitterly against the center but says he’s not opposed to it any longer.”

  “Sam’s a good man, Lila.”

  “I know he is. I need to get ready. I’m meeting Shannon at the club.”

  Lila went back to her room and stood there thinking about the failed inspection. She couldn’t stand worrying about it all day.

  As she drove into town, she was angry that one of the men would stoop to trying to sabotage the efforts to get a child-care center open in the club. She barely glanced at the familiar surroundings.

  As she crossed the parking lot, Sam climbed out of his car and turned to greet her
.

  He wore a dark brown suit and a lighter brown tie and as always, the sight of him affected her physically, giving her heart a jump. He looked handsome, cheerful, friendly, a side of him that conflicted with his determination, self-will and authoritative manner.

  “Have you heard about the child-care center?” she asked without preamble.

  His eyes narrowed a fraction as he placed his hands on his hips, pushing open his coat. “Yes, I have. Too bad, but that can be fixed without a major setback. It’s a temporary interference.”

  Taking a deep breath, she watched him intently. “I know you have opposed the center from the beginning and argued to keep it from being accepted. You, my dad, a lot of others. The bitter campaign may have given this person the feeling he had the support of all of you.”

  Sam’s blue eyes became glacial as he placed his hands on her shoulders. “Damn, Lila, when we argued against having the center, that was just democracy. I’ve opposed women in the club. I’ve opposed the children’s center. But there is no way in hell I would condone a criminal act.”

  She gazed into his eyes and saw the anger. She was beginning to learn that Sam did not hide his emotions. His face was expressive, and he made no effort to keep people from learning how he felt. And right now he looked like a man telling the truth.

  “You know, they say it has to be a club member,” she said.

  “I know, and that’s depressing. I would have thought all the members were above that sort of thing.”

  She knew he wouldn’t destroy property. Sam was smart enough, too, to know it wouldn’t stop the center from opening.

  “Lila, let me take you to dinner tonight. I’ve missed seeing you,” he said.

  Regret filled her as she shook her head. “Thank you, but there’s just no point in pursuing a relationship. You have your views and your ways. You’re an old-fashioned man with ideas about women and what you’d want in a wife. Our lives don’t fit together. Thanks, anyway. I’m meeting Shannon.” She walked past him.