Beautiful Life

by Bruce Thomas

  I let out a nervous breath and looked straight ahead to where Fred's lips were wet and tempting. Blinking a few times I steadied myself so I wouldn't touch him. I saw Fred ball his hands into fist at his sides so I did the same, impatiently waiting for him to close the gap between our faces.

  Fred's breath fanned out across my face. His nose inched closer to mine and he grazed it back and forth as if tempting me to close the distance myself.

  The gesture was enough to make my breathing turn quicker. It was cute. So cute that it made it more intimate. I had to finish this in any way I could. I would have to play dirty.

  With parted lips I skimmed my nose to the side of his face, ghosting it over the rough stumble of his cheek.

  You're too busy running away from me to take the time to erase it, my inner demon whispered. Funny after he left me just this morning I sweared I'd stay away from him and now I was back in a compromising position. One, I have to admit, I truly didn't mind being in after a few touches. Like a feather, I grazed my lips over his jaw and across his cheeks, not really puckering at the skin but ghosting it. A visible shiver went through Fred making me feel more accomplished than I did getting accepting into this damned school.

  Pressing firmer into his skin, I placed a light kiss on the dimple in his chin I have always wanting to touch and another kiss on the corner of his mouth. Before I could skirt across and kiss the other side, Fred's lips caught mine.

  The same searing fire traveled from his mouth to mine all the way to my gut. I balled my first tighter by my sides. Fred's lips slipped into the spaces between mine perfectly and sucked, making my knees go weak but I stayed vertical, focusing on the price at the end. I tried my hardest to think of anything else other than this boy kissing me but that claimed to be impossible with the way he knew how to use his tongue.

  Fred nudged my head to the side and deepened the kiss, invading my mouth with his tongue. I groaned in half frustration that he was making me feel this way and half in ecstasy that he was making me feel this way. So you see the problem?

  I had to dig my nails into my palms as they dangled at my sides when he sucked at my bottom lip, Annanging it in between his own and pulling slowly letting it snap back. I felt like crying out because I couldn't touch him.

  All I wanted to do was Annanging him closer to me and pressed my body against his to feel him. He must have known this too because he lightened the kiss, then ducked his head to press his lips across my collarbone in open-mouthed kisses, taking short breaths

  in between each press of his lips. His mouth roamed back to mine and I couldn't help the embarrassing sounds coming from myself anymore.

  He was driving me insane.

  He tore his lips from mine and I almost claimed some sort of victory, but his lips stayed on my skin, skimming down my neck and latching onto the sore, tingling mark on my neck.

  My knees turned to liquid and with a gasp I clutched onto Fred's forearms to stop me from turning into a puddle on the floor. He chuckled into the crook of me neck, blowing cold air over the now wet blemish making a rack of violent shivers run through me. I stared straight ahead at his chest while he reveled in his short claimed victory. He was right. I was weak.

  "Winner, winner, I'm having you for dinner," he taunted making me let go of him and step back. I was now thankful that the room was dark because I'm sure I looked like a mess. I pushed my hair away from my face and let out a shaky breath.

  "Shall we get going then?" He moved to the door and unlocked it, ushering me through.

  I rushed past him and out the apartment without saying goodbye to Janet or anyone. We never even got around to playing beer pong.

  I flung myself down the stairs trying to get to the safety of my dorm as quickly as possible. A growl nearly escaped my throat as I heard feet clamping down the stairs behind me.

  "Eager, aren't we," Fred laughed in the jerky way only he knows how. He watched me as I fumbled to get my key into the lock of my door. "Shut up Fred. Just shut up."

  "Mad you lost so easily?" He continued

  to taunt.

  The truth in his words only made my vision blur more with annoyance and made it harder for me to get my key into the damn lock.

  "Ugh, go in!" I whined jabbing it into the lock hole. "Okay, fine we'll do this at your place. Makes it easier anyway so I can leave afterwards. You don't know how annoying it is to make girls leave my place when the show is finito."

  I stopped struggling and let the key drop on the keychain I had in on. "You don't honestly believe I am going to do anything with you." If he did, then he was nuts.

  "I won Anna, that's the rules. You're not one to break the rules, are you?" He leaned against the wall waiting for my reaction. All I did was roll my eyes.

  "You know if you keep doing that they will stay that way," he teased smiling coyly at me. "We're done here," I said making a statement and pushing the apartment door open. Before I could shut it, he stopped it from slamming with his palm.

  "Annaanna, we are done when I say we're done." His voice dropped an octave lower making him seem more dominant. I forced my body to not react. "I'm tired," I lied. My body was too riled up to sleep right now.

  "Are you hungry?" He asked letting go of the door and leaning against the frame.

  I eyed him from inside and waited for him to walk away. When he didn't, I sighed.

  "No."

  "Oh, come on. I know a diner that's open just around the block. We could get a burger or something. My treat."

  "What are you playing at?" I asked suspiciously. Was he really going to drop the rules without me fighting him. It just didn't seem very much like Fred.

  "Nothing," he said with a shrug. "The rule still stands, though."

  He was tempting me and he knew it. I was becoming used to Fred and I knew how his brain somewhat worked now. He liked a challenge and with me he was getting one. "Okay." I stepped back out of the apartment and relocked the door.

  "Wait, really?"

  I looked up at Fred through my curly hair to see him slightly put off. He shoved his hands in his pockets while he waited for me. I nodded.

  "Okay."

  Smiling now, I felt more in control over the situation at hand. Sure I could have slammed the door in his face and got on with my night but there was something that was exciting about being around Fred. Whether it was good or bad, all I knew was he was decent company when he wasn't being his crude self.

  He pulled out his keys once we got outside but I stopped him from taking them fully out. We have both been drinking. Though we sobered up after that kiss, I was not allowing him behind the wheel or myself for that matter.

  We walked around the corner, silent after Fred's little grumbling match to himself that he wasn't driving his car. After I called him a big baby, he shut up and walked a little too close beside me.

  When we reached the diner he was talking about, Fred was complaining how his feet hurt from the short two block walk. He was sure whiney when he drank.

  Fred steered me by the elbow to a booth in the corner of the restaurant. I didn't protest but followed silently, hoping he would get his fill of annoying me and I could could to bed.

  "Don't

  do that," I grumbled looking at the menu. He looked over at me with foreign innocents that I didn't feel him drilling his eyes into me and smiling lazily. "Do what?" He asked, his smile growing wider.

  "Smile like that," I answered, faux reading the menu. "It's creepy."

  "I've been told my smile is panty dropping."

  I dropped the little square menu in front of me and gave him a pursed look. He sat across me resting on his forearms, grinning madly like it was going to split his face in half. He was right though, he had a killer smile.

  "Pshhh, not going to happen." It was awkward when he said things like that.

  "I could command you to sleep with me. You do have to do as I say according to Too Hot's rules."

  "No, you couldn't," I snapped. "And you wouldn't either. Yo
u're an ass but you're not a rapist. Plus, God only knows what kind of diseases you have."

  The waitress decided to approach our table then. With a sneering face, Fred ordered his food followed by my order which was spoken in a much nicer tone.

  One point for Anna. "I use condoms!" He hissed once the waitress left. I quickly looked around to see if that drew any attention to us but the diner was mostly empty except for a couple hipster looking men sitting at the front.

  "We use protection or we don't do shit. The whole pull out method never sat well with me. The last thing I need is a child." He looked away offended. "I get regular checks up too. I'm clean, Annaanna. Good, God."

  I didn't like when he called me by my full name. It either meant he was

  taunting me or was unhappy with me.

  "Just to let you know, the fact that you have to get regular health checks it totally disgusting. It's a total turn off really. I jolted in my seat when I felt the tip of his shoe push up my pant leg, teasing me, sliding it up and down until I kicked it away.

  "I do the opposite of turning you off," He grinned with his hands clasped in front of him on top of the table.

  I opened and closed my mouth like a fish out of water, wanting to tell him off, that he was wrong, but we both knew he wasn't wrong.

  "I mean, good health, great. Thousands of partners, not so much." I took a sip of my Coke before observing him. His eyes narrowed in on me from across the table. "Hundreds, maybe. Thousands, not yet."

  I shrugged my shoulders taking another sip of my drink.

  Fortunately for me, the waitress came back with our food. Her hand lingered longer than she did on mine while she set Fred's plate in front of him.

  "Can I get you anything else?"

  I started eating because she didn't even look my way to see if I was good, instead, directing her question solely at Fred. "No, we're good," he said never letting his eyes wander from me.

  I watched the poor waitress while she retreated in defeat.

  "Poor thing. You didn't even give her the time of day." I swallowed my food, grinning at him. "She was hot too." She wasn't hot but compared to me she was hot. "Was she, now?" His tone was amused yet flat as he reached for

  the ketchup that I had stolen and kept on my side.

  I watched while he made a smiley face on the surface of his patty then smash the bun on top. I laughed, making him freeze with the burger halfway to his mouth. "What?" He asked lowering the burger back to his plate.

  "What was the point of that?" I gestured to his food on his plate. "You just ruined it anyway."

  Fred's eyes went wide when he realized what I was referring to. I could have sworn I saw a slight pink dot his cheeks but he covered it up nicely by resting his face in his palm, bored. "I don't know." I nodded my head not wanting to push him. He will eventually tell me if I don't pry, which I have learned. I reached across for the ketchup again and took the patty off my burger.

  "What are you doing?" He leaned over the table but I guarded my burger with my arm. "Oh very mature," he slurred, a small smile gracing his face.

  When I was done, I placed the ketchup bottle back on the table and smiled at my art. Turning my plate I showed him the red pattern. "It's a star." I let him look at it before placing the burger back together and taking a bite. "I know what a star looks like," he stated reaching down to his plate and doing the same. I ignored his dry sarcasm and focused on my food.

  "My mom used to put a smiley face on my hamburgers before serving them," he confessed. He had a sad expression on his face as he stared at his food on his plate as if reminiscing on the memory. Shaking his head after a few minutes of silence he laughed. "Just a habit, I guess."

  "I

  think it's sweet," I said not looking at him. He was good at reading me and I didn't want him to think I was pitying him. I know what that looks like and I hated that look too.

  "Sweet." He scoffed and shoved the hamburger back in his mouth taking another bite. "Yeah," I said sheepishly. "Like you're remembering her by doing so. It's very sweet--in a manly sort of way." He leaned back into the booth and stretched his legs out under the table. I wasn't sure if he nudged my foot on purpose but I barely noticed because of the happy look on his face, an aftermath of laughing at me. No, with me.

  "When I was younger she used to cut my grilled cheese into stars too."

  "My uncle used to do that!" I added smiling along with him. The sudden change in the air left me feeling light and content. I wasn't really hungry anymore because I felt so filled up with giddiness. "I guess they love doing that type of stuff, huh," He said shaking his head. I caught his eye when he looked up at me and smiled lightly. His eyes were soft along with the grin on his face. He looked a little less drink now they he was smiling and had some food in him. Me, on the other hand, felt more drunk then before.

  There was an invisible string that binded us together in that moment. The air tingled from our burst of laughter whether it was from making fun of each other or bonding with familiar memories. It didn't bother me that he wouldn't break eye contact because in that moment I saw a different Fred. An Fred that laughed wholeheartedly with me and whose face was light and pink instead of

  passive and dark.

  "Oh. My. God." Squealed a high pitched voice from across the diner. "Fred Montgomery!"

  Our eye contact broke as I turned to see where the voice was coming from. A skinny girl with jet black hair bopped over to our table completely ignoring me and walking straight to Fred. His eyes darted to me guiltily before landing back on the girl now at the head of the booth. He waved awkwardly before his eyes skirted back to me as if asking for help. I couldn't stop the turning up of my lips.

  "How are you?" The girl asked. "I haven't seen you since that one night." Her voice was low and seductive, husky like she smoked a pack of cigarettes before walking over here.

  "Um, yeah, I'm good, um..." Fred stuttered. I would have felt bad for him if I didn't know what type of guy he was.

  "Tiffany," the girl corrected, her smile wavering slightly before plastering an even bigger one on. I coughed out a laugh trying to cover it up by taking my straw in my mouth. Fred frowned at me, knowingly.

  I managed to go unnoticed until then. The girl's attention snapped to me momentarily, the smile on her face turned confused before she turned fully to Fred. "Say, do you maybe want to meet up later? My roommate it gone for the weekend..." She ran her hand up and down his arms in a luring way which really irked me. But by the look on Fred's face he was put off more than me.

  Fred did not look happy, instead he looks incredibly uncomfortable and maybe even a little embarrassed. I was shocked that she was so open about her exploits with him that she would

  ask that right in front of me. What if we were together? Would she still have the nerve to ask that? Something tells me she would still ask.

  "No, Tiffany," Fred said clearing his throat in his fist. "Not tonight."

  The girl's face fell into a pout. "Maybe tomorrow?" She tried again, hope blooming in her voice.

  I focused all my energy on my straw, biting and sucking it until my glass made a gargling noise that it was empty. Fred's eyes snapped to mine. "Here," Tiffany said taking my napkin out of my hand which I happened to be sliding around nonchalantly across the table. She took out a pen writing what looked like her number on it and handed it to him. "Here's my number, call me when you're free."

  Without a glance spared at my judgey look, she walked out of the diner.

  "Wow," I said laughing uncomfortably.

  "Shut up," Fred grumbled.

  "That really just happened. You pretty much blew her off and yet she still wanted you." I leaned back to contemplate this.

  "We share the same views on sex, Anna," Fred sighed before evilly eyeing me. "I happened to be very good at. Why wouldn't she want more?" "I totally get it now," I said nibbling on a fry.

  "Get what?" His face fell and he now looked concerned.

  "You have total commit
ment issues."

  "I do not!"

  "Do to," I said. "Seriously, tell me the last time you had a relationship that lasted more than one night."

  Fred shrugged and sip at his water. "I haven't. That's not my style. And, they weren't "relationships" to begin with. Stop using that word."

  "Ha!" I said making Fred jolt in his seat caught off guard. "Issues."

  "There's nothing wrong with wanting to be single and doing what I want, when I want to do it. It's called freedom. And with that freedom, I can sleep with as many girls as I want, as many times as I like. They're not my problem, along with their feelings because there are no real feelings." He reached over the table and grabbed a fry from my plate having already finished his own.

  "That's the problem," I diagnosed, pushing my plate that was half full away from me, willingly letting him eat my food. "You don't respect women, Fred."

  He threw one of my fries back on my plate and glared at me over the table top. "It's as clear as day that I have slept with a bunch of women, okay, yeah, I know. Who cares. I've fuçked girls who have boyfriends, even some with husbands. I've had women fight over me. Now, why Annaanna, would I respect someone who doesn't even respect themselves? They know what they're getting with me so if they get their hopes up for something more, that's their problem. If they throw their relationship away for a one night stand, that's their problem, not mine."

  I frowned as I popped a fry in my mouth and chewed. The situation at his father's popped into my head. It hurt my brain just analyzing it.

  In a way he had a point. How could a person respect someone who had little respect for themselves? Well, dang, who knew Fred was that deep. It still didn't make it right though.

  "Do you respect yourself, Fred?" I questioned leaning across the table. "Because

  it sounds to me you're running away from something. Maybe yourself." I winked at him and threw a fry at his forehead.

  His mouth hung open as he stared at me from across the table. Blinking, he picked up my thrown fry and shoved it in his mouth. "Maybe I just like sex."