One Real Thing

by Anah Crow

  “I’ll be good.” Holly pressed more kisses to Nick’s ass and then sat up to keep rubbing massage oil into the small of Nick’s back. He sighed. “I love touching you. I always did. God, I feel like I’m eighteen. I want to have sex with you again. I can’t get enough.”

  “As often as I can manage,” Nick promised, laughing. “I’m an old man, you know.” Older than Holly, at least. He’d felt ancient already at twenty-two, when Holly’d come along, barely eighteen and looking like pure sex.

  “Mm. I’ll make you young again,” Holly said firmly. His strong hands worked out the last of the tension hiding in Nick’s muscles. “Lots of sleep. Lots to eat. We’ll go to the gym. Sex every day. Twice. Three times. I’ll take you dancing. Danner has a commercial to shoot in L.A. You can come with me if you want. Spend the days by the pool, catch up on your reading. I’ll take good care of you. We’ll go to dinner at the best restaurants with Dann and Julie and eat too much, then go back to our hotel room and make out and make love until we fall asleep. Then, whenever we want, we can deal with the rest of life.”

  The rest of life. Nick didn’t want to think about that yet. But.

  “I’d rather deal with it first,” he decided. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but he wanted to get it over with. “So I can get on with life and focus on you.”

  “Okay.” Holly’s hands were firm on his legs, and they felt so good. “Do you want my help? Do you need a lawyer? I’ll do anything.”

  “I’m not sure yet,” Nick admitted. He’d been avoiding thinking about it, so he wouldn’t have to face his failures any more than he already had. “I’m going to need to look into it. But if you have the time to stay in New York, I’d like you to be here.”

  “I’ll stay. Dann and Julie understand.” Holly kissed the backs of his knees. “They know why I’m here.”

  “Because my life fell apart and I completely failed to notice?” Nick asked. He couldn’t imagine what Holly had told his bosses, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to try.

  “Because I love you.”

  Oh. Yes, that was a good explanation. “I love you too. Thank you for coming to find me.”

  “You came for me.”

  “I couldn’t not.” Nick remembered the feeling of time standing still when he’d looked at those photos of Holly, the way he’d reserved plane tickets and a rental car without considering the consequences of what he was about to do. They’d been back in New York before he’d finally realized what he was doing.

  “Just like I couldn’t stay away from you. I’m so lucky.” Holly lay down with him, tracing gentle loops on his back. “Your wedding was the worst day of my life. Literally. Couldn’t even bring myself to go get drunk or stoned the night before. I didn’t want to fuck it up for you. Caroline thought I was high, remember? I wasn’t. I just spent the twelve hours before crying until I puked and half dialing your cell phone number like a damn pussy. The one time I was dead sober, she kept giving me the evil eye. I should have gotten drunk and thrown up on her damn shoes. I should have called.”

  Nick had wanted Holly to be best man, but Caroline had refused. He’d asked Rich instead, and Rich had said something about it being the only thing he agreed with Caroline about, that Nick should’ve known better than to torture Holly with that kind of request. At the time, Rich’s comment hadn’t made sense. Nick had been so convinced he knew what his relationship with Holly was, but he’d had it all wrong.

  There were so many things he could’ve done differently. So many things either of them could’ve changed. There wasn’t anything either of them could do about it now, though.

  “Maybe. Maybe not. Let it go. We can’t change the past.” Nick nuzzled against his lips. “We’re here now. And you’re going to go to work so I don’t get distracted and drag you back into bed with me.” A couple more kisses and then Nick added, “The sooner you get your work done, the sooner you can come back here and have your reward.”

  “Right. I won’t forget.” Holly rolled out of bed and tugged the covers over Nick. “And you’re supposed to be sleeping.”

  “I am.” Nick didn’t close his eyes, though. Holly was gorgeous, lean and golden, and he didn’t want to miss a chance to see any of it.

  “Love you, Nicky.” Holly walked over to the closet to dress. He even pulled on a pair of briefs before his jeans. That wasn’t any fun. But he looked nearly as good dressed as he did naked. Then he cleaned up the breakfast dishes, casting glances at Nick every chance he got.

  Eventually Nick’s exhaustion got the better of him, and he drifted off, lulled by the quiet sounds of Holly cleaning up.

  ***

  Holly was ready to pull his hair out. He loved Danner, but Danner had the worst luck with hiring. Julie had hired Holly. Danner had hired the manager of the New York store. Off the street. He’d finished venting at Julie, who agreed to tell Danner to demote the witless skateboarder to where he could do the least damage, out front. He was still ready to pull his hair out, but he did feel better. His phone rang again, and he hoped it wasn’t Danner. It wasn’t. It was Rich.

  “Yo, Rich.”

  “Where are you?” Rich sounded…worried.

  “Um…you mean what street?” Holly stopped and looked around.

  “No. What city?”

  “I’m in New York. Where are you?”

  “Jersey. Are you…Did you find Nick?”

  Oh shit. “Um. Yeah. He’s doing a lot better now.”

  “You know, you guys are going to give me a stroke or something,” Rick sputtered. “At least Nick gave me some fucking updates.”

  “Well, he’s fine. Uh, I don’t think you want any other updates.” Holly felt his cheeks go hot. Pausing at a crosswalk, he bounced on his toes and tried not to squirm.

  Silence. The light changed. Holly looked both ways before crossing—he’d learned his lesson—and then checked the phone to see if the call had dropped.

  “Rich?”

  “You…Damn it. You’re right, I don’t. Where did you find him, you fucker?”

  “Actually, I’m not the…”

  “Lalalalala!”

  Holly laughed so hard a homeless man gave him a funny look. “Wimp. Same place I was staying.”

  “Damn. I should have known. Well, I’m glad he’s okay. Anne says hi. And she says she’d like to see you guys sometime. She feels really bad about the whole thing with Caroline, and she’s worried about Nick.”

  “I’ll let Nick know. Thanks for everything, Rich.”

  “Yeah, well. Keep in touch. Ask Nick to email Anne if he’s okay with talking to her. She hasn’t heard from Caroline in a while. Guess Caroline didn’t like Anne’s honest opinion of things.”

  “She wouldn’t like mine either,” Holly said with a grimace.

  “She never did,” Rich said, snorting. “Well, now that I know where you two are, I can get back to work. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Be good, man.” Holly kind of missed Rich, and seeing Anne didn’t feel so daunting anymore. He’d have to convince Nick they should go see the other couple sometime soon.

  “I will. I know you won’t, so just be careful.” Rich snorted again as he hung up.

  Holly felt better. Lighter in every way, like gravity had let up and the sun was turned up a notch. He was going to go shopping for a few things for him and Nick, and then he was going home. To Nick.

  When Holly got home, he was still walking on air. His arms were full of shopping and dinner, but he almost floated up the four flights of stairs to the apartment. He barely managed to juggle things enough to get a key out, but he didn’t want to wake Nick if he was still sleeping.

  Didn’t want to wake Nick. That thought brought a rush of pure joy with it. The door closed behind him, and he toed off his shoes in the foyer.

  “Nick?”

  There was no answer, but when Holly stepped farther in, he could see the mail he’d left on the table had been sorted and dealt with. There was a stack of stamped envelopes beside a check
book and pen and one last piece of mail left sitting out. Nick must’ve eaten too, because there were dishes in the sink. And Nick was sprawled across the bed, sound asleep.

  Holly put the shopping on the table and then, quietly, put dinner in the oven to stay warm. He shed his clothes, folded them and put them on the arm of the love seat. How many times had he sneaked into Nick’s tiny apartment off campus? Had Caroline hardly ever been there because she’d known Holly would come creeping in anyway? The times she’d been there, of course, he hadn’t invaded Nick’s bed to cuddle against Nick’s will. No, he’d stayed up all night working on papers—regardless of how drunk or stoned he’d been—and fallen asleep on the floor or the couch.

  Holly slipped into bed beside Nick, propping himself up on one elbow to watch him sleep. He’d never been happier.

  Eventually Nick shifted and mumbled, waking slowly. He blinked blearily at Holly and then smiled.

  “How long’ve you been back?”

  “Few minutes. Dinner’s keeping warm in the oven. I see you’ve been busy.”

  “Took care of the mail you’d sorted out, yeah.” Nick yawned and rubbed his face against the back of one arm. “So, were you good?”

  “Yes. I was. I have to demote the store manager, but I was a good boy. No swearing, even.” Holly kissed Nick’s temple and then cheek and jaw and then down into the warm curve of his neck. “Rich called. He says Anne would love to see us sometime. She’s pretty worried about you, upset about the whole thing. Hasn’t spoken to Caroline in ages. Suppose she’s been dumped. Anyway, maybe we should have them over for dinner.” Under the covers, he stroked Nick’s back. Nick shifted under Holly’s touch, stretching and making purring sounds.

  “I got a letter from Caroline’s lawyer, so I went ahead and called the lawyer who handled our prenup. I’m going in to see her tomorrow.”

  “Good for you.” It felt so good to see Nick so relaxed. Holly wasn’t used to big victories in his life—his reputation for screwing up was well earned—so having succeeded in making Nick even a little happier, even if Nick did change his mind at some point, added to the feeling that his feet were never going to touch the ground again.

  “I want to get it over with. The sooner it’s done, the sooner I can get on with my life.” Nick’s gaze landed on Holly’s mouth and lingered there for a moment before he pushed up and kissed Holly, hot and slow.

  Oh. That was so nice. Holly’s brain was still adjusting to the fact Nick loved him and wanted to kiss him and touch him and do so many other good things to him. He kissed Nick back, sliding his fingers into Nick’s sleep-damp hair.

  Nick made that purring sound again, nudging Holly onto his back and stretching out above him. Nick’s whole body was warm from sleep, and he pressed against Holly, fitting his hardening cock neatly into the groove where Holly’s thigh met his body.

  Holly settled back with a sigh, resting his other hand at the small of Nick’s back. Adjusting to this idea was really, really lovely. He cradled Nick’s hips between his thighs and held him close, reveling in the bliss from the full-body contact.

  Nick kissed him for a long while, like they had all the time in the world. Even his hard dick didn’t seem to distract him from the kisses, but eventually he nuzzled into the curve of Holly’s neck and licked and kissed there instead. By the time Nick nipped at his earlobe and pulled back to look at him, Holly knew he was going to have marks all over his neck.

  “I promised you something, didn’t I? Do you still want it?”

  “Fuck, yes.” Holly was dizzy with the rush of need that went through him. “If you…” Holly’s voice deserted him for a moment. “If you want.”

  “I wouldn’t have promised you could have it, wouldn’t have brought it up again, if I didn’t.” Nick nipped at Holly’s lower lip and shifted his hips so his cock slid against Holly’s skin. “I want it. How do you want me?”

  “I…” Holly hadn’t really thought that far ahead. “Just, let me.” He nudged Nick onto his back. “Any way I can get you.” He kissed Nick hard, feeling another rush of that same hot need. Tangling his fingers in Holly’s hair, Nick kissed him back, slowing it down like he was savoring every taste.

  “You’ve got me,” he said. “And if you move so I can roll over, I’ll let you have me the way you asked so sweetly before.”

  “Like this first. I want your cock in my mouth.” Holly lipped at Nick’s mouth and then whispered, “Please, may I?”

  Nick’s fingers slid away, and he tucked his hands behind his head. “You may.”

  Holly wriggled. “Thank you.” He kissed Nick’s neck and chest, pausing to investigate on his way. He hadn’t gotten to explore Nick’s chest and nipples and navel and belly with his mouth this morning. Nick tasted as good as he smelled, that familiar musk that was all Nick.

  “I like your mouth,” Nick murmured, arching under Holly’s careful ministrations.

  Good. Holly tongued Nick’s navel with a giddy noise. He’d wanted to show Nick what he could do, how he could make Nick feel, for years. But there had always been something angry about it in the past, like there was a hint of revenge to it. He didn’t feel like that anymore—just full of tenderness and joy. He’d never expected Nick to stay or take him seriously, that was why he’d been angry. He licked a trail down the fine dark hair that led to Nick’s groin. Nick. He looked up as he licked the head of Nick’s cock.

  Nick groaned and arched a little more, then settled back onto the bed. “A lot,” he added, pushing up onto his elbows and looking at Holly like he might be considering dragging Holly back up to kiss that mouth he liked so much.

  Holly lavished hot, openmouthed kisses all over Nick’s cock, watching Nick’s face. It was great to be shameless.

  “You are so…” Nick looked at Holly for a moment, his eyes dark and wide. Then, like he’d suddenly remembered he’d been speaking, said, “So fucking hot. Christ. I’m never going to be able to look at your mouth again without getting hard.”

  Oh. Holly couldn’t help smiling. He went down on Nick, shivering at the way Nick’s cock pushed into him. So good. He pushed Nick’s thighs apart, stroking up the insides until his thumbs were pressing against the smooth skin behind his balls. All this was his.

  That drew another groan out of Nick, softer, and he shifted his weight to get a hand in Holly’s hair. This time he didn’t guide Holly, didn’t push him down or pull him back, but his hand clenched and unclenched like he was barely resisting doing one or the other.

  Later Holly would have to have a word with Nick about hair pulling, the benefits of. For now he gave Nick’s cock his full attention for one long minute after another. When he tasted precome, he made himself pull away, running his tongue down the underside of Nick’s cock and down to bathe Nick’s balls. The slick skin behind Nick’s balls was begging for his attention, so he licked there too, teasing his way down. But now he wanted Nick on his knees.

  “Please turn over?” he murmured, shuffling back so Nick could move.

  Nick hesitated a moment and then rolled onto his belly, legs spread. He crossed his arms under his cheek and asked, “Like this, or up on my knees?” There were advantages to this position, like being able to trace the smooth, pale line of Nick’s back.

  Holly got between Nick’s knees and said, “You can do whatever you like. I know what I’m going to do.” He kissed down Nick’s back and stroked up strong thighs to his ass, opening Nick up for him as his mouth got down to his tailbone.

  It had been a long time since Holly had done this. He’d never been that into it, but this was Nick. He wanted this with Nick so badly, wanted to be the one to have Nick like this, to make Nick feel this good. He licked a long, slow swath from behind Nick’s balls up to his tailbone, trembling with the knowledge that he’d finally crossed that line.

  “Oh.” Nick’s voice was low but shaken, even in just that one word. His muscles rippled, from his shoulders all the way down to his thighs, and he pulled one knee up and out, opening himself
up even more.

  Oh, fuck, that sounded so good. Holly shivered; he wanted to hear it again and again. He held Nick open and licked gently, taking his time without teasing, gently massaging around where he was licking with his thumbs. He closed his eyes and got lost in it, moaning softly.

  “I didn’t think…God.” Nick shivered and rolled his hips back, pressing into Holly’s licks and kisses.

  Being the first one to do this, or do it right, that was a thrill all its own. Holly teased his tongue in a little at a time, pulling out to lick with wide swipes of his tongue before sliding in again. He let his tongue do all the work, knowing it was bringing Nick pleasure, letting Nick feel what it was like to be served and worshipped. Nick made soft noises, the same kind he’d made when Holly had been massaging his back, except these were rougher, less steady.

  “Holly,” Nick breathed, and his hips shifted again.

  Holly couldn’t help his soft whimper. Knowing he was pleasing Nick had him all but on the edge. If he’d ever thought…He pushed his tongue in, fucking Nick with it.

  Nick gave a stuttering, aborted moan and then fell silent, save for his harsh, uneven breathing. He held still, but the muscles under Holly’s hands were tight with suppressed motion and energy. Holly wanted more, wanted to push that suppressed energy into movement, writhing, bucking. Before he knew it, he was lifting his head, touching Nick with his fingers and begging.

  “Please. Please, may I touch you?”

  Pushing back against Holly’s fingers, Nick said, “Fuck me.”

  Holly felt like his brain had turned inside out.

  “Like…like this?” He pressed a finger in, ducking his head to slick the way with his tongue. Nick moaned quietly, sounds half-muffled in the sheets where he’d buried his face. Holly’s finger was only in to the second knuckle when Nick spoke again.

  “No,” he rasped. “Fuck me.”

  Oh. “Yes, Nick. Yes.” Holly crawled up to get the condoms and lube. “Anything you want.” He’d meant it when he said it, but hadn’t known this would be part of it.