APPETITE

by Kathyrn, Lorraine

  "Wait -- I thought it was for life?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

  "No, sorry. I mean physically tied together."

  "They tie us to each other? Why?"

  "Shit. Sorry. I am really not explaining this well." He sighed and ran his free hand through his hair. "There's cartilage at the base of my penis -- all male wolves have it -- that swells during mating and locks me inside you."

  "Really? Why?"

  "To assist with fertilization."

  "Does it hurt?" she asked shyly. She didn't know why, but the idea of him being forced to stay inside her was enticing.

  "I don't think so. I've never tied myself to anyone before." He looked at her closely, wondering about the small smile on her lips and the mischievous look in her eyes.

  "What about the girl? Does it hurt the girl?"

  "I don't think so." She was quiet for a bit as she thought over all he said. Damien sat and watched her, her face was so expressive he didn't want to interrupt.

  "It's a lot to take in," she said at last. She scooted over to him, lifting the hand that still held hers and shocking him by nestling herself against his side, moving his arm to lay across her shoulders before letting go of his hand. She wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head on his chest. "I mean, it's huge, Damien. I can't make a decision on something like this right away."

  "I know, my love. And I'm sorry I handled it so poorly," he said, wrapping her up in his arms and kissing the top of her head.

  "It's not your fault," Charlie said with a sigh. "It's a weird thing to have to tell someone, isn't it?"

  "Yes, I suppose it is," he said with a low laugh. Charlie felt the vibrations of his laugh and smiled. "If you would like, I can introduce you to Lisa. She was the last human brought in to the pack and could probably tell you more of what to expect if you change." He could feel his wolf wanting to push forward and claim her to force her to stay -- no more 'if' and damn the consequences -- and pushed it back.

  "Really?" He nodded and kissed the top of her head again. "I appreciate you being so understanding, Damien." She gave him a squeeze.

  "About that, my love." He gently eased her off of his chest, and turned her to face him again. He looked at her and smiled, although to Charlie it seemed sad. "I do understand. I really do. I can't know how hard it would be to make this change for you. This life is all I know, all I have ever known. And I can't stop being who I am; I will always have my wolf in me, he is part of me forever. But I can change how I live."

  He slid off the couch and knelt in front of her, taking her hands and kissing her palms. "I love you. Completely. And I will always love you. You make both sides of me -- man and wolf -- so happy, Charlotte, that I wish there was a word stronger than love. Even to say I adore you, cherish you, worship you is not enough. I cannot see my life beyond you, and I have no wish to." He raised her hands again, this time kissing the backs of them softly.

  "Damien-" she began, but he cut her off.

  "I won't live my life without you, my love, because I choose not to. If you decide you can't be with me here, in my world, Charlotte Emily Bell, then I will gladly leave it behind to be with you in yours." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a beautiful platinum ring. A single, huge princess cut diamond was surrounded by delicate filigreed lilies. Charlie choked on a sob as he lifted her left hand and slid it on her ring finger. It was slightly loose.

  "Damien, it's beautiful...I..." Charlie began, but she was too overwhelmed to continue.

  "I love you, Charlie," he whispered, leaning forward and pulling her to him to kiss her.

  "Damien," she sighed as she broke the kiss, putting her arms around his neck and laying her head on his shoulder. "You didn't have to do this."

  "I wanted to," he whispered. They sat that way for a while, holding each other in silence, until Charlie surprised him again by nuzzling her nose on his neck.

  "You smell good," she said dreamily. "Like comfort." She kissed his neck softly and raised her head to look at him. She looked tired and confused. "I have a lot to think about," she said quietly, cupping his face in her hands. "And I am exhausted. And I've had too much wine. I can't think anymore now, because nothing is making sense." She smiled and kissed him softly before dropping her hands to her lap. "Let me sleep on it?"

  "Of course."

  "Here. You should probably hold on to this until I decide," she said, slipping the ring off her finger and handing it back to him.

  "No," Damien said, offended. "This is yours. I want you to have it."

  "Damien! I can't. It...it must have cost a fortune."

  "It's yours, my love." He slipped it back on her finger. "I only wish it were half as beautiful as you." She blushed and shook her head, looking down at the ring on her finger. "Will you share my bed tonight? Just to sleep?" he asked softly.

  "I don't think that would be for the best. Not yet, anyway," she said after a long pause. "I...I worry. I am afraid of making mistakes again, Damien. My heart and my head are at odds with each other, and they both seem to be rushing me towards opposite ends, and I can't yet see either of them." He nodded and caressed her cheek. "And it is a lot to sort through before I can."

  "Alright, Charlie," Damien said, taking her in his arms again and kissing her slowly, almost lazily. She opened her lips to him when she felt his tongue lick at them, and he gently deepened the kiss, both of them almost crying in relief at being allowed this intimacy again.

  "Good night," Charlie said, her voice thick, as she reluctantly broke off the kiss. She stood and moved towards the guest room she slept in the night before.

  "Good night, dolcezza." Something in Damien's voice made her turn to look at where he still knelt on the floor. She noted the circles under his eyes and the almost hopeless air about him and walked back over to him, bending down to cradle his head.

  "I'd much rather be in your bed, Damien," she said, laughing softly when he wrapped his arms around her legs and pulled her to him, muttering a muffled 'thank the gods' against her. Charlie felt lighter having admitted that to him. She kissed the top of his head and removed herself from his arms. "I just need time to think is all. Good night," she said again, making her way to the bedroom. She slipped off her bra and shorts, climbing into bed in her tank top and panties and was asleep almost before she was able to pull the blanket up over her.

  She woke a few hours later needing the bathroom. She sat up, disoriented at first about where she was, but quickly gathered her wits. She walked to the door, not bothering to slip her shorts back on, and almost tripped over the big wolf laying at her threshold. He laid his ears back and whined, eyes on hers.

  "I just need to pee, Damien," Charlie said absentmindedly. She padded down the hallway to the bathroom and went in, not bothering with a light or the door in her haste. She heard him come over to the doorway and look inside. "Go on, Damien. I'm fine. You should go to bed and get a good night's sleep." He snorted at her, ears forward. "Okay. Suit yourself. But I'm not going anywhere." She grabbed some toilet paper and looked at him levelly. "You cannot watch me wipe." He whined again and sat down, tail wagging. "Eewww. No. Look away," she said, shaking her head. He got up and walked back towards her room, allowing her privacy to clean herself.

  Charlie washed her hands and splashed some water on her face, rubbing the towel over it as if she could rub her confusion away. She sighed, hanging the towel back up and going back to her room. She looked at Damien sitting near her door and laughed to herself as he wagged his tail. She bid him good night again as she entered her room and closed the door behind her, climbing back in to bed and falling quickly in to a light doze.

  She tossed and turned, never moving past the early stages of sleep, for more than an hour before she finally gave up. Kicking off the covers with an irritated sigh, she got up and went to the door, opening it to find Damien's wolf sprawled across the doorway. She stepped over him and laid next to him, twisting to lay her head on his shoulder and throw her arm over his side. Damien stilled,
almost afraid to move, as she quickly fell back to sleep.

  He laid with her for an hour or so in the hall, the fur of his flank ruffling with her deep and even breathing. Damien changed back to his human, making Charlie stir a bit at the change beneath her, before scooping her up and carrying her upstairs to his bed. He stripped off her clothes, placing them on the nightstand, and climbed in next to her, positioning her with her head on his chest and covering them both with the blankets.

  He was asleep in minutes.

  When Charlie woke the following morning, she didn't know whether to be angry or laugh at finding herself in Damien's bed. She could feel him behind her and turned her head to find him sleeping on his back, his left arm out and under her head. She smiled and carefully rolled over, not wanting to wake him. She watched him as he slept for a bit, eyes traveling from his hair down to the covers that rested just past his hip bones almost greedily. Charlie watched the steady rise and fall of his chest, fighting the urge to lean over and nibble at his little pink nipples. She dragged her eyes back up to his face, all lascivious thoughts fleeing before the peaceful look he wore. She glanced down at her hand, the morning light glinting off the ring on her finger, and she felt herself tear up. She remembered his declaration last night, and her heart swelled as she thought over all he would be giving up, the lengths he would go for her, and realized she was loved beyond anything she'd ever thought possible. She felt her last resistance to him, the last barrier she had erected between them, crumbling. She acknowledged to herself she had fallen in love with him and smiled realizing the thought no longer scared her. She carefully rolled back over and saw her tank top and underwear on the nightstand. She slowly got up and slipped her tank top on, padding over to her suitcase and pulling out her pajama pants, forgoing underwear until after her shower. She put them on and left, closing the door as quietly as possible.

  Damien listened to her make her way downstairs and released a sigh he had been holding in. He rolled on to his stomach, laying his head on the still-warm sheets and breathing in her scent. He knew as soon as she had woken up, but remained still, unsure of how she would react to finding herself naked in his bed. He breathed deeply again, nose nuzzling the sheets, before rolling off the bed and stretching, checking the clock next to the bed to find it was just before 7AM. He could smell coffee brewing and smiled, grabbing clothes and making his way to the shower.

  He washed up quickly and dressed, slipping on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, grabbing his socks and boots and heading downstairs. Charlie was at the stove, stirring something delicious smelling in a big pan, shaking her hips and humming to herself.

  "I don't know if I should be more impressed by the show or the food," Damien teased, moving to the coffee pot and pouring himself a cup.

  "Holy shit!" Charlie jumped and squealed, jerking the spatula in her hand and accidentally flinging some egg into her hair. "You really have to stop sneaking up on me like that."

  "Sorry, my love," he said, walking over to her and kissing her cheek, picking the egg out of her hair and tossing it into the sink.

  "Yeah, right," she said, smiling at the playfulness in his eyes. "I just bet you are."

  "What are you making? Smells great." He looked over her shoulder at the eggs, sausage and vegetables in the pan.

  "Breakfast. Just a quick scramble. Nothing fancy," Charlie said with a shrug. "Have a seat, it's almost done." She pointed to the breakfast bar where she'd set two place settings.

  Damien smiled, moving around the counter and sliding onto one of the stools.

  "Do you want some juice?" Charlie asked, setting butter and hot sauce on the counter in front of him.

  "No, thank you." He sipped his coffee, watching as she put the scramble on two plates already boasting toast and sliced fruit. She turned and put one down in front of him, noting his wry smile.

  "What?" she asked, putting the other plate in front of the empty stool.

  "Nothing fancy, huh?"

  "I like to cook."

  "Uh huh," he said, picking up his fork and scooping a generous amount of eggs into his mouth, eyes closing and making happy sounds in his throat at the taste. "This is delicious."

  "I'm glad you like it."

  "What's in it?"

  "Eggs, sausage, tomatoes, avocado, Dijon mustard and cream cheese."

  "You know, I would never have thought to put those things together in one pan and call it breakfast," Damien laughed. "Did you go to school to learn to cook?"

  "Nothing formal. Classes at community college, workshops and seminars."

  "Really?" She nodded. "Well, I am even more impressed." Charlie blushed at that and he leaned over and gave her a kiss on the corner of her mouth. "And I am running late," he said, glancing at the clock on microwave. "The delivery will be here at 8."

  "You have to work today?" Charlie asked. Although she was relieved to have some time to herself, she felt a lurch in her gut at the thought of not seeing him all day.

  "Sorry love. We need to get the fencing repaired as soon as possible, but I should be back by 2 or so." He looked down at his lap. "I will take you to get your car when I get back."

  "What? Oh right. I forgot about that," she said, waving her hand. "It's okay, I'm not in a rush, really. Although it would be nice to have my stuff. It's just...I wasn't really expecting you to have to work."

  He smiled, relieved she wasn't anxious to leave. "I'll have Lisa come visit you for lunch."

  "Lisa?"

  "I told you about her last night?"

  "Oh. Right." She picked at her breakfast a moment. "That would be great."

  "If you need anything, just ask Eva or Darian. They'll be here." He quickly cleared his plate, Charlie's eyes going wide at the disappearing food. "Delicious," he said, leaning over and kissing her gently.

  "Thanks."

  "Thank you, dolcezza," he said, standing up and taking his dishes to the sink.

  "Damien, could you leave me Tony's number before you go?"

  "Why?" he asked, turning around to look at her, his eyes narrowing.

  "Because I want to talk to him."

  "No. You don't need to talk to him."

  "Excuse me?"

  "You don't need to talk to him." He leaned against the sink and looked at her, arms folded across his chest.

  "I want to talk to him."

  "Why?"

  "What do you mean 'why'?" Charlie asked, getting angry.

  "Why do you want to talk to him?"

  "Because I do."

  "No. Not good enough, Charlie."

  "Not good enough? What the hell does that mean? I want to talk to Tony because I do. Okay? He offered me his friendship and I fully intend on taking him up on it." She got up and came around the counter to stand in front of him. "I'm not asking your permission here. And for the record, this whole attitude of yours" she waved her hands at him "is really pissing me off." He stared at her hard, and she could see just how upset he was. "Why don't you want me to talk to him, Damien? What are you afraid he'll tell me?"

  "Nothing," he bit out. Charlie looked at him closely and he turned his head, not wanting to meet her eyes.

  "This is jealousy?" she asked quietly. She put her hand to his cheek when he refused to look at her. "Why would you be – oh." She raised her other hand to his face and gently turned his head to face her. He dropped his eyes to look at her feet and she tskd him. "Look at me, Damien, not at my feet." He slowly raised his eyes and Charlie tried not to show her shock at the hurt in them. "Tony offered to be an ear I can bend, someone I could vent to. That's all. I like the fact I have a friend I made here. Eva is wonderful – as I am sure Lisa will be – but they are talking with me atyour behest, not mine. Can you see the difference?" He nodded and opened his mouth to speak, but Charlie put a finger over his lips. "I'm not trying to play you like she did. I would never do that to you. All I want from Tony is his friendship, Damien." She smiled at him, trying to reassure him. "But I will wait on that. Not because I agree that I need y
our permission – I don't need your permission – but because I don't want to cause you any more hurt. I don't like it when you look at me like that."

  "Charlie-" he began.

  "Nu-uh. You won this one. Just shut up and kiss me already, you...big galoot," she said, cutting him off.

  He barked a laugh at that, and Charlie smiled in return, stepping to him and going up on her toes to hook her arms around his neck. Damien put his arms around her, capturing her mouth with his as he lifted her off her feet, making her squeal.

  "You sure you have to go?" she whispered, feeling his cock hard against her stomach. She sucked his lower lip before nibbling at it. She suddenly wanted him, wanted to feel him inside her again, the exquisite feeling of fullness and pressure from him thrusting inside her, the weight and heat of his body as it covered hers.