APPETITE

by Kathyrn, Lorraine

  "Charlie. My love," he moaned, kissing down her neck, making her shiver. He could smell how aroused she was and it took all he had to not carry her back upstairs and spend the day making love. "I have to go." He gently set her on her feet and untangling her arms.

  "I know," she said, hooking one arm around his neck and cupping him through his jeans with her free hand. He groaned as she squeezed him.

  "I will be back around 2."

  "Alright. If you have to go," she said, giving him a pout. He bent down to kiss her and she slipped her tongue in his mouth, coaxing his out to suck on it before she released his mouth and began nuzzling at his neck.

  "Make it around 1," he sighed as she playfully bit down his neck.

  "Better," she said, moving her hands under his shirt and up his chest. She scraped her nails across his nipples. "Do I hear a noon?" She attacked his mouth again.

  "Dolcezza," he said with a laugh, breaking the kiss and taking a step back as Charlie dropped her hands to her sides. "Hold that thought and we'll pick up where we left off when I get back."

  "Fine," she said with a melodramatic sigh. He looked at her, eyebrow raised and she couldn't hold back the laughter anymore. "I'll be here when you get back," she said, smiling up at him.

  "I'll be as quick as I can, my love."

  "Go on," she said, turning him around and pushing him away.

  She watched him leave and kicked herself for not having the courage to tell him she loved him. "I'll just have to be sure to tell him when he gets home," she said with a shrug as she started to clean up after breakfast. She got the kitchen back in order and went to the guest room she used last night, or started to, anyway, picking up her clothes and sandals and carrying them back upstairs to their room. She paused halfway up, realizing she just thought of the master suite as hers and Damien's. She waited for the panicky feeling she was sure would come, smiling as she continued upstairs when she realized it wasn't going to.

  She sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the phone. She wanted to call Becky, but wasn't sure what to tell her. How do you tell your best friend that you met a guy, fell for him completely in three days time, found out he's a werewolf and were seriously considering letting him make you a werewolf, too? She picked up the handset and laid back on the bed, giggling. "I don't have to tell her everything," she muttered, glancing at the clock.

  She dialed Becky's work and waited for the recording to play, punching in her extension when prompted. The phone was on the third ring before she picked up.

  "This is Ms Black." Her voice was smooth, professional, all business.

  "Becky Black? Asset recovery specialist of the year in 2010 and 2011?" Charlie teased.

  "Charlie!"

  "Who else?" she laughed. "Got a minute?"

  "Of course. What's up?"

  "Well...I think I might stay on here for a bit."

  "A bit?"

  "Yeah."

  "I see. Exactly how long is 'a bit'?"

  "It's kind of...you know, however long." Charlie giggled, imagining Becky's reaction if she told her it was centuries.

  "You got it bad, Char."

  "You know something? I think you're right." She sat up on the bed and switched the phone to her right hand, holding out her left. "He sort of proposed last night."

  "What! How do you sort of propose?"

  "He got to his knee and said he wouldn't live where I wasn't, he loved me, and then he gave me a ring."

  "As in a diamond ring?"

  "Uh huh. It's exquisite, too."

  "Wow," Becky said quietly.

  "I know, Beck."

  "What did you say?"

  "That I need to think about it, I just needed some time. It was happening really fast, you know? I mean – three days, Beck. Three fucking days! That's just...nutso." Neither spoke for a minute.

  "Sounds like you've decided," Becky finally said.

  "Am I crazy? Is this totally stupid?"

  Becky was quiet again, weighing her words. "You know, my first instinct is to say I don't know, Char. I mean, I haven't met him or seen you two together, and I would hate it if you got hurt. So I want to caution you. I feel it is my duty to caution you. But another part of me thinks you should throw that caution to the wind and just go with it. Who ever said there was a minimum time requirement for falling in love? Some people just know – instantly – and they live the fairytale happily ever after."

  "I know," Charlie sighed.

  "All I do know is you sound happy. You sound...how can I put this...serene."

  "Serene?"

  "We've been friends almost ten years now, right?"

  "About that."

  "And in all that time I think I've seen you fully relaxed maybe a dozen times. You always seemed like you were expecting something bad to happen. Like, no matter what we were doing or how much fun we were having, you were waiting for something to come along a ruin it, like you were looking over your shoulder for the big bad boogeyman."

  "I did?"

  "Yeah, you did," Becky said gently. "I mean, after what you've been through...I get it. And now it seems...I don't know...like the shrillness that was just under the surface is gone."

  "Shrillness? Really?"

  "You've been singing."

  "How'd you know?" Charlie asked with a gasp.

  "Because you only sing when you are really happy and relaxed. Remember Cabo?"

  "Yeah," Charlie said with a laugh. She had gone to Cabo San Lucas with Becky and her then-girlfriend Maria five years ago and one night they ended up in a margarita bar singing karaoke with a group of college students. "That was a good time."

  "And the first time I heard you sing."

  "Was it?" Charlie asked, her tone shocked.

  "It was."

  "Huh."

  "It was one of those rare occasions when you let yourself just be. You relaxed and all your guards were down."

  "Huh," she repeated. Both women were silent for a while. "I wish you were here."

  "I can't decide for you."

  "I know that. I just...want your opinion, that's all."

  "My opinion? Do what makes you happy."

  "That simple, huh?"

  "It always is." Both women were silent for a moment.

  "Hey Beck...what would you do if you fell in love with someone fundamentally different from you?" Charlie asked at last.

  "Different how?"

  "Like, totally different from you?"

  "Like what? Black? Republican? Jewish?"

  "You've dated a black woman and a Jewish woman."

  "And a republican or two," Becky laughed.

  "Okay. Then just hypothetically, lets say all three."

  "Damien's not a republican, is he?"

  "No, he's not," Charlie laughed.

  "Good. You had me worried there," Becky said, making Charlie laugh again.

  Becky was quiet for a few moments, thinking over her friend's question carefully. "I don't know. I guess, if I loved them, the other stuff wouldn't matter, would it? I mean, she would have been those things when I fell in love with her, right? So if it didn't bother me as it happened, why would it bother me after it happened?" she said at last.

  "I hadn't thought of that," Charlie said, a big grin spreading on her face. "If I fell for Damien before I knew, then why should it be different now that I know?" she squealed, throwing herself back on the bed. "You, my friend, are fucking brilliant."

  "Tell me something I don't know," Becky snorted. "But I have to ask, before you knew what?"

  "I...I can't say right now."

  "No?"

  "Let me ask you something else?"

  "Shoot."

  "Let's just say that this amazing person you met and fell for also fell in love with you, but in order to be with them you had to change yourself, fundamentally, to be what they were."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Let's say you met a wonderful woman who happened to be black and Jewish, and you two fell instantly in love. But in orde
r to make it last, you had to become black and Jewish, too."

  "I see." Charlie could hear her taking a deep breath. "Well, I'll tell you, I don't think that would be a sacrifice, Char, because it wouldn't change the person I am. And if it meant that much to her, if it were that important, and ensured our happiness then it wouldn't be a question on whether or not I would do it."

  "Really?"

  "Absolutely."

  "Thanks, Beck. What would I do without you?"

  "Wander about aimless and forlorn?"

  "Probably," Charlie laughed.

  "Now will you tell me what's going on?"

  "No. But I promise I will tell you soon."

  "When?"

  "When are you coming for a visit?"

  "Really?"

  "Yeah. I'm dying for you to meet him."

  "I can't wait to come out! Let me look at the calendar after lunch and get it figured out. I'll call you back and let you know tonight."

  "That would be great." Charlie lay on the bed, smiling.

  "Ugh, I have a meeting in five."

  "Okay. I'll let you go. Call me tonight."

  "I will. Bye."

  "Bye."

  Charlie laid there for a few more minutes, pulling the pillow Damien used over her face and breathing in his scent, a goofy grin on her face as she thought over what her friend had said. "It makes no difference what he is, or what I become, because it doesn't change who he is or who I am. It doesn't change what we have," she whispered into his pillow, hugging it to her, wishing he was there to share in her epiphany.

  She sighed, reluctantly getting up and making the bed. She looked around for the box she'd gotten out of her car but it wasn't in his room. She stood still, trying to remember where it had gotten to, and startled when she heard someone calling her name.

  "Hello?" she called, sticking her head out the bedroom door.

  "Hi! It's Lisa. Mr.Dimeo asked me to come by and talk to you?" she called up the stairs.

  "Oh! Right. I'll be right down." Charlie ran over to her suitcase and grabbed a pair of underwear, bra, her cutoffs and a plain white t-shirt before heading to the bathroom to change and wash up. She stared at herself in the mirror closely as she brushed her teeth. She looked tired, she thought, but happy. Happier than she would have thought possible. She quickly finished washing up and changing before bounding down the stairs barefoot.

  "Lisa?" she asked as she saw a cute blonde sitting at the breakfast bar. She had a stylish looking bob that framed her round face perfectly, blue eyes and clear skin. She was nearly the same height as Charlie, making her happy she wasn't the only short person around.

  "Hi! You must be Mr. Dimeo's mate."

  "I...I don't know how to answer that," Charlie said giggling. She felt giddy after talking to Becky. "Just call me Charlie, okay?"

  "Okay," Lisa said, giving her a shy smile.

  "Am I breaking some sort of rule with that? Everyone keeps calling me his mate or Ms Bell, and it seems so formal."

  "It's just respect, really. From, uh...lesser wolves."

  "I'm sorry, lesser wolves?"

  "Didn't Mr. Dimeo tell you?" Charlie shook her head and motioned for Lisa to continue. "Well, the pack is a hierarchy. There's the Alpha pair,-"

  "Darian and Eva?" Charlie asked, smiling when Lisa nodded.

  "-the Lead Beta – that's Mr. Dimeo – the rest of the Beta's, then the rest of the pack."

  "Let me guess, Gammas?"

  "No. Omegas actually."

  "Why'd they pick that letter?"

  "Because it's the last letter in the Greek alphabet. We're the lowest ranking pack members."

  "What does that mean?"

  "Mean?"

  "Yeah. What does that mean, the 'lowest ranking pack members'?"

  "Just that."

  "So you don't get the same rights? Privileges? Freedoms?"

  "Oh, no. Nothing like that." Lisa gave Charlie a big smile. "We have the less glamorous jobs. And you know, last to join celebrations because we have to work them from set up to clean up. That sort of thing. But we have the same rights as any other members – excepting the Alpha pair and Lead Beta – as well as privileges and freedoms. When the pack votes, our vote counts as much as any other member."

  "I see." Charlie said, her brow furrowed. "It doesn't seem unfair to you at all?"

  "Not at all." She looked at Charlie and smiled again. "We're not sitting in the back of the bus, you know. The hierarchy is set up this way to the benefit of all pack members – including the Omegas."

  "Back of the bus, huh? How old are you?"

  "Let's see, I joined the pack when I was 19; I met Eric at a concert in Portland during the summer of 1968 and I never looked back." She laughed at Charlie's shocked expression. "I know. We don't age like humans do."

  "So it's the same when you're not born a...a werewolf?"

  "Yes, it is."

  Charlie was quiet for a moment, sizing up her guest. "Would you like something to drink?"

  "What do you have?"

  "Let's see, there's coffee, tea, juice, lemonade."

  "Some lemonade would be great." She watched Charlie move with ease and familiarity around the lead Beta's kitchen, how very at home she looked. She wondered to herself if she even knew she was doing it.

  "Here you go," Charlie said, putting a tall glass in front of her.

  "Thanks."

  "Do you like it?" Charlie asked, her elbows on the counter in front of Lisa and her head in her hands. She was watching the blonde closely.

  "It's very tasty."

  "No. Sorry. I meant, the pack. Being changed, becoming a werewolf. Do you like it?"

  "It's...it's hard for me to answer that." She sighed and took another sip of her lemonade. "I didn't have anything, didn't have anyone, before I met Eric."

  "Oh?"

  "My home life growing up was...rough. When I turned 18 I left my home in Utah, hitchhiked out west and wandered a lot. Spent the summer of love in San Francisco, then head up north with a boyfriend to Portland. Stayed there through the winter and met Eric the following summer."

  "I see."

  "So for me, this is heaven. I have a family. An almighty big and protective one, too. We all look out for each other. We all care for each other."

  "Sounds perfect."

  "It's not. You give up some things, too. You give up some individuality. You give up some privacy. And you have to start thinking about the whole, not just the self anymore."

  Charlie was quiet, thinking on that for a moment. "Is it worth it?"

  "Oh yes," Lisa answered instantly. "It's worth that and more."

  "Did it...was it hard to go through the ceremony? In front of everyone?"

  "Not at all." She looked at Charlie closely. "But when I was living in the Haight, public and group sex was commonplace, so it didn't faze me."

  "Group sex?"

  "Not that they do that here. They don't," Lisa rushed out, realizing her blunder. "It's just that, with the mating ceremony, the rest of the pack will end up rutting, too."

  "Eva mentioned that." Charlie chewed her lip a minute before asking her next question. "Didn't that kinda weird you out?"

  "To be honest, I didn't even notice it."

  "Really?"

  "Well, yeah. I mean, the whole thing starts off with the Alpha giving Luna's blessing to the couple, kind of like a wedding ceremony, you know?" Charlie nodded. "And then it's just the two mates-to-be, with the rest of the pack surrounding them. The existing pack member then says some vows to the pack-"

  "To the pack?"

  "-yeah, to the pack, about how they will teach the newest member in their ways, and guide them through the changes and make them a strong member to fortify the pack."

  "Ah."

  "Then the human vows to the pack as well, and then the mating happens."

  "You mean the sex?" Lisa nodded. "So the couple don't exchange vows with each other, but with the pack? Isn't that a bit odd?"

  "Not really. I
mean, everyone knows they're committed to each other, right? They're mates, and that's for life, so why do they have to stand up and talk about it. The vows to the pack reinforce the bond we all share with each other, and lets the pack know the bond will only be stronger with the new member." Lisa sipped her lemonade and smiled. "Believe me, by the time the Alpha was done talking I would have vowed to eat Jupiter and pee rainbows if it meant I could mate Eric." She giggled a bit and blushed as she remembered her own mating.