Homesmind

by Pamela Sargent

  "No," Mila said.

  "Then how do you plan to fight?"

  "Fight?"

  "Are you only waiting to die, then? Is this what I've come to?"

  Vasen sat down at the table again. "I have bad news for you, boy. You've come to a place where there is little to fight for."

  Anra stood up. "That isn't so." She went to Olin and sat down next to him, then took a breath. "Will you open your mind to me, Olin?"

  He nodded.

  "Then prepare yourself. What I have to show you is complicated, and you may find it fearful."

  His wall dropped away. She reached out, forming her thoughts and trying to sharpen her mental images, telling of Homesmind's struggle to save Earth's failing Minds and of the new world that awaited them in the sky. Olin was quicker than she had expected, able to understand even these unfamiliar ideas. She sensed his fear, but he held his mind steady, not pulling away; his troubles had hardened him.

  —Do you see?— she finished. —Only those of us who can travel from this world to that new home in the sky will be able to draw on the Minds. Those who stay here will be trapped in separateness for many cycles, and their mindpowers will be lost until the Minds grow stronger and can restore them. Many will believe that they have lost their powers forever—

  Olin's mind rippled. —No mindspeech— he thought. —Life as a true solitary. Yet some may even choose separateness here to exile from Earth— His thoughts grew warmer. Anra realized that she was clinging to them, reluctant to withdraw; Olin's brave mind was lending her his strength.

  —Yes, I am drawn— he continued. —You drew me when I first saw you. In other times, I might have waited before showing such thoughts to one I hardly know, but not now. And you are drawn to me, too—

  Anra withdrew quickly, feeling flustered. The others in the hut had been shielding themselves, but Leito's green eyes were staring steadily at her; the old woman had glimpsed the mental exchange.

  "You must protect yourselves from invaders," Olin said aloud.

  Vasen nodded; his eyes were sad. "Several cycles ago we had to fight, and we survived, but we were stronger then." He leaned forward. "We had better decide how we're to guard this village."

  Olin shared a meal with the young people in the boys' hut, where he would now live. The meal was a quiet, solemn occasion, and Anra found herself remembering the lighthearted one they had all eaten with Rulek. As they ate, some of the younger children wandered by the hut, peering in at the newcomer before being chased away.

  The sun was setting by the time they finished washing their dishes outside the hut. "Good night," Barla said as she wandered off to the girls' hut. Viya and Riene picked up two buckets and left for the river.

  Anra was about to follow Barla when Olin touched her sleeve. "May I speak to you alone?"

  "Of course."

  Jaan was smirking a little; Gennon rolled his eyes. Anra's cheeks grew warm. "Perhaps you could meet my aunt Daiya this evening," she said in a louder tone. "Chal, too. He's the little boy she's caring for." Her voice sounded brittle and affected, like a skydweller's. Jaan covered his mouth; she glared at him.

  "If you want," Olin replied.

  They walked toward the path. "We don't have to go to Daiya's hut," she murmured, "Chal's probably asleep anyway. Tomorrow, maybe. We could go to one of the shuttles, if you like. They hae synthesizers—that's where we get our clothes and food now, except for what we grow, of course. The synthesizer's one of the skydwellers' tools—it can give you anything you want."

  "From nothing?"

  "It's not really from nothing. You put old things, discarded articles or wrappings, into the vessel's recycler, you see. It can take anything—even dirt and air—and turn it into something else. A skydweller could explain it." She was babbling. "If you'd like other clothes, we could get them for you. It scans your body, so the clothes will fit."

  "Do you think I should cover myself, then?"

  She looked away from his slender, muscled body. "Not at all. I mean, not if you don't want to."

  "Too much clothing is cumbersome."

  "We'll go to the river, then." They turned down another path.

  "I must ask you something, Anra."

  "What is it?"

  "When you mindspoke to me, I sensed that you were also hiding something from me. I couldn't quite grasp it, but you were thinking of a threat—not from Earth, but from the heavens. If I'm to share your fate, I must be told everything. I'm tied to this village now—I have nowhere else to go."

  "I was afraid to tell you of it too soon," she said. "When Leito didn't speak of it, we all thought we should wait. But you should know everything now, and I sense that you have the courage for it." She took a breath. "There may be another threat, and one we don't understand. Even the Minds are puzzled, and so is Homesmind."

  "Go on."

  "The Wanderer, the home of the skydwellers, isn't the only comet world," she continued. "There are others. One of them has appeared in the sky and Homesmind has called out to it, but it doesn't speak. Homesmind has heard only a whisper, but that was enough to make It fear that world. It's moving toward us, and we wonder if it means us harm."

  "It's not one of the wandering stars that moves from place to place?" He was speaking, she knew, of this system's planets.

  "No, it's a stranger. Homesmind has never encountered a hostile comet world, but that doesn't mean one can't exist. The skydwellers are afraid—they want to run from this stranger."

  Olin halted. "So we may have to fight two battles."

  She nodded. The boy had grasped the essential point in spite of knowing little about skydweller worlds and their history except what she had shown him earlier. "And we may lose the first, and then the outcome of the second won't matter. You wanted to find a refuge here, and there isn't one."

  "It's more than I had before." He touched her arm. "I was hoping to share more thoughts with you now. I'm drawn to you, Anra. I want to reach out to your mind."

  She stepped back. "It's too soon to share more than we have already."

  "I know that. But if a great battle is coming, we may not have much time." He lowered his eyes. "I thought— I couldn't be sure—that there was another in your thoughts when we mindspoke. You withdrew from my mind so quickly that I couldn't be certain."

  She shook her head. "The boys here are more like brothers to me." She would not speak of Rulek.

  "Then maybe we'll share our thoughts another time." He took her hand as they began to walk back along the bank.

  It was Anra's turn to keep watch. Yvela was with her, trailing Anra as the two girls circled the village; they passed Marellon, who was watching the east. Yvela was not yet twelve, but she and most of the younger children had volunteered to help and they were needed. Too many of the older people were either weak or were making themselves useless.

  Yvela twisted her head around as a bird flew overhead. The younger girl was restless, almost hoping for a hostile band to appear and relieve the boredom of being a sentry. Her dark braids bounced as she hopped up and down.

  "Be still," Anra whispered to the child. "You'll tire yourself out." Yvela drew herself up and began to mimic Anra's measured pace.

  Anra thought of Olin. His open expression of his feelings should have made her feel awkward around him, yet she was not uneasy in his presence now. She even welcomed his company. Olin was brave and forthright, his mind quick enough to grasp the complicated new ideas the village had presented to him. She was all too aware of his growing feelings for her, which seeped into her mind when he was near; she was sure she could be happy with Olin as a companion or even as a partner. But part of her still longed for Rulek as well. I'm a fool, she told herself. Rulek preferred dreams of a dead girl.

  She was also afraid to reach out to Olin. She had failed with her parents and with Rulek, managing only to build more walls between herself and them. If Olin shared her thoughts fully, he would see Rulek's place in them, and be hurt or saddened. He might wonder if she c
ould ever feel as strongly for him.

  "Ugh," Yvela said scornfully, catching a vague impression of Anra's thoughts. The young girl disdained any thought of boys as anything other than friends or playmates.

  "You're supposed to be keeping your mind open to danger, not eavesdropping on me," Anra said.

  "Well, keep your own mind open to it then, instead of thinking about all that stuff." Yvela made a face.

  The moon had risen; there was no sign of movement on the plain. A wolf howled in the distance. The two stopped next to the shuttlecraft in the south field. Anra climbed into the craft, helped Yvela up, then gazed at the craft's panels. A quick scan of the plain confirmed what she already knew; no wanderers were nearby.

  Yvela touched the panels and watched the map and its symbols flicker on the screen, then sat in one of the seats, bouncing a bit. Other symbols appeared on the screen, then a detailed image of the area to the south. A shuttlecraft was moving toward them; Luret and Wiland were returning.

  The door opened and Anra hopped out, motioning to Yvela, who seemed unwilling to leave. The younger girl lingered in the doorway, taking one last look before climbing out.

  Anra stiffened; her mental tendrils were sensing someone's pain. She opened her mind more fully. Only muffled sleepy thoughts were reaching her from the village; someone else was calling for help.

  A dark shape hurtled over the land toward the girls; the returning shuttle hovered for a moment and then alighted on its runners. Marellon was running toward it, Viya and Gennon close behind him. As the craft's door opened, Anra saw a woman's silhouette outlined by the light; another shape was slumped next to her.

  "Help me," Luret cried out.

  Gennon and Viya reached for the slumping figure, lifting Wiland to the ground. They stretched him out near the runners as Luret jumped out and knelt next to him. Wiland's breathing was labored; his dark hair covered his eyes.

  "What happened?" Marellon asked.

  Luret was stroking Wiland's head, binding her thoughts to his as she tried to help her partner heal. Anra reached out with one strand, lending Luret some of her strength. She could now sense Wiland's pain; his mind was bruised, as if a hand had reached inside him and had tried to crush his brain.

  —Wiland— Luret thought. He opened his mouth; a gurgling sound came out of his throat. —Do you know me? Say my name—

  —Luret— his mind replied.

  She looked up at the others. —He remembers me now, at least. I had to calm him all the way back. Many memories were taken from him. He's forgotten this journey— Luret's hands shook. —He could have been robbed of everything—

  —He'll mend— Marellon thought firmly as he sat down next to his friend. —I'll help him now. He may remember later on—

  "What happened?" Gennon asked aloud.

  "We were attacked," Luret answered.

  "Who attacked you?"

  Luret sat back on her heels. "A village that summoned us. We were close enough to hear their call. They said they had a child, a solitary, to give us. I'd wanted to hear such a call—I knew if we brought a new child back that we would need an implant for her, and that the sky-dwellers would have to return to provide it." She was silent for a moment. "It was a trick. We should have been able to read their intentions, but we were so happy to have someone reach out again that we were careless, and they hid their real purpose well enough." She took a breath. "When we landed, they struck. I barely managed to get Wiland back inside the vessel. Had they waited and lured us to their huts, we wouldn't have escaped."

  'Then you mustn't leave the village again," Gennon said. "It's too dangerous now."

  "But what if others really do need our help?"

  "It doesn't matter. You have to think of yourselves."

  Luret wiped her brow with one arm, then leaned forward, hands on her knees. "I saw no watchfires outside the village."

  "We have no watchfires now," Viya said.

  "Then why are you out here?"

  "We're guards," Yvela answered, sounding proud of the fact. "One band attacked us a while ago, and then another one a few days ago, but they beat them." She waved an arm at Anra and her friends. "Except one of them decided to stay here because he didn't want to fight and he likes Anra." Yvela wrinkled her nose. "He told us a lot of people are wandering around and they want to hurt us, so we have to guard the village now."

  Wiland groaned; Marellon soothed him. "I've seen a few bands," Luret murmured. "Some would run from us and the others would warn us away. I thought they might only be hunters." She scowled. "So now we're threatened here. I should have known it would come. Other Earthfolk will need an outlet for their fear." She glanced at Yvela. "Hut why are you sending children out as guards?"

  Yvela lifted her chin, looking affronted. "You can guess why," Anra answered. "You saw what the village was becoming when you left on this journey. It's worse now. We need everyone who's still clear-minded to be a guard, and the younger ones offered to help."

  Luret stood up slowly. "You mean that the others can't even rouse themselves to help protect their lives and yours?"

  "Some of them dream now." Anra bowed her head.

  Luret gestured at Marellon. "When my partner is better, bring him to my parents' hut in the shuttle."

  "I can bring him there now," Marellon said.

  "No. I have thoughts to share with this cursed village first. Shield my partner from them." She began to stride toward the huts before Marellon could reply. Anra hesitated, then hurried after the woman; after a few moments, Gennon followed her.

  Luret was silent as she walked, but Anra could sense the cold rage inside her. As they left the field and entered the village, Luret dropped her shield. Her anger rushed from her, flowing out to the village. People, awake now, ran to the doors of their huts. By the time they reached the public space, a small crowd had already gathered there. Leito leaned on her walking stick; next to her, Daiya held Chal, who was crying.

  Luret strode to a table laden with bottles of wine; Jen and Ede, who lay under the table in a stupor, groaned and sat up. Luret suddenly swept the bottles from the table, spilling the wine on the ground.

  —Awake, you wretches— she cried out. —Is this what you do while my partner and I roam the Earth? What if we had found some who were ready to join us and prepare for what must come? You make a mockery of everything we do—

  Ede shook himself; Jen rubbed his eyes. —You cursed people. You can't even face the truth yourselves. How do you expect the rest of Earth to face it? Now even children have to guard you—

  —Calm yourself, Luret— Leito said.

  Luret turned to face her great-grandmother. —You're the oldest one of us— she responded. —And what have you done? I see your thoughts, Leito. You believe you'll die before you have to leave Earth, and a part of you is lost to despair. So you do nothing—

  —What can we do?— a few people called out. Anra gazed at the crowd, seeing the pained, worn faces of those who had been dragged away from dreams.

  —We can still call to the world of the skydwellers, can't we? We must tell them we need their help now. Others will come here to seek our deaths and we have no defense— Luret shook a fist. —Though I don't know why anyone would want to defend you cursed folk as you are. Clear your minds and commune with the sky-dwellers to decide what we should do, or I'll take the brave ones from this place and leave the rest of you to your dreams—

  Daiya stepped forward. —Luret speaks the truth— she said. Still clutching Chal, she lifted him up in her arms. —Did we bring these children here only to drag them down with us?—

  —We'll call to the skydweilers, then— Leito said wearily.

  —I don't know what they can do for us. They have their own battles to fight—

  —Then find out— Luret responded. —They may be able to give us advice, or may see a possible defense that we're blind to. But we have to make ourselves worthy of their help first— She walked over to Nenla and Kal and strode away from the public spa
ce with them.

  The villagers began to drift off to their own huts. Jen pulled Ede up and wandered over to Areli, bowing his head; the stout woman led them both away.

  Daiya came to Anra's side. "Perhaps you should stay with me tonight," she said.

  Anra shook her head. "We still have to guard the village, and it's our turn." She gestured at Gennon.

  "Then I'll stand guard with you. Chal can sleep in one of the vessels."

  They left the public space together as Gennon walked off along another path. "I've neglected you, Anra," Daiya said. "Don't try to deny it. I brought you up and may have encouraged you to leave my hut too soon. I didn't know then what you might have to face."

  "You did the right thing. If you hadn't, things would have been even harder for me now."

  "Olin, the boy who joined us, came to see me today," Daiya said.

  Anra was surprised. "He didn't tell me that."

  "He wanted to meet me by himself. He shared a few of his thoughts about you, and I told him of Silla and Harel." She sighed. "I had hoped they would try to return to us now."

  "Do you think the skydwellers can help us?" "I don't know. They might tell us only that there's no point in remaining here." Daiya glanced up at the two long fingers of light now visible in the sky. Another speck of light above them had grown larger; Anra could see it clearly for the first time. The stranger, she thought, fearing it even more.

  EIGHT

  The village called out to Homesmind.

  —Help us—

  —Our village is threatened—

  — The rest of Earth may seek a battle with us—

  —Have we been forgotten by the skydwellers?—

  —Help us—

  Anra lent her own voice to the chorus. At first, she was afraid that they would hear no answer.

  Then Homesmind replied.

  You are not forgotten. Help is on the way. The Net trembled; Homesmind's voice was weak. How much of Its strength had It already lost?