Coming Home

by Stacy Hawkins Adams

  “We’ll see what happens, okay? See you in a few weeks.”

  They ended the call and Dayna stood up and stretched. Realizing for the first time since getting home that she was hungry, she rummaged through her fridge and decided to make a salad.

  Between chopping lettuce and veggies, she texted Warren to let him know she was home, chilling for the night. He promised to call her later, after helping Lily get Michael and Mason squared away with dinner and homework.

  Dayna tried to quell the resentment that lately had accompanied his every mention of Lily. Wasn’t it her day off? Dayna imagined the four of them sitting down to dinner together, creating the perfect family of Lily’s vision.

  She felt the urge to call Warren, but knew she was allowing her imagination to run wild. Warren and Lily had worked as a team to care for Michael and Mason long before she entered the picture. If he wanted a relationship with Lily, he wouldn’t keep talking marriage with Dayna.

  She glanced at her stack of mail while she scarfed down the salad. Soon, she was ready to make The Call.

  She dialed her parents’ number and began cleaning her dinner dishes while it rang.

  Daddy answered. “Hello, my daughter, how are you?”

  Dayna rolled her eyes. “Hi, Daddy. I’m fine, and you?”

  Kitchen cleaned, she turned off the light and headed toward her bedroom to pick out an outfit for tomorrow while Daddy spent the next ten minutes filling her in on his day, the goings-on at church, and the latest wonderful thing Shiloh and her family had done. She half listened while selecting an ivory sleeveless mock turtleneck and matching slacks, which she would complement with a burnt orange jacket and burnished gold jewelry.

  “That’s great, Daddy.”

  Not once did he ask about her day, her health, or her life. Nothing new. Still, each time she called and their one-sided conversation ended with a pass of the phone to Mama without an “I love you” or an inquiry into her concerns, she felt more deflated.

  Mama wasted no time addressing her agenda. “Hi, dear, have you made up your mind?”

  Dayna couldn’t help but laugh. At least Mama wanted her to come home, even if it was for her own motives.

  “Yes, Mama, I’ll be there for Easter, but I won’t arrive until late on Good Friday or early Saturday.”

  “Aww, so you’ll miss the Friday night service? Your daddy and Randy are preaching their traditional joint sermon on the Last Seven Expressions of Christ.”

  Lord, forgive me, Dayna repented for rolling her eyes heavenward again.

  If she heard one more thing about the wonderful Shiloh, Randy, and their four perfect children, she would gag. Dayna had decided that they weren’t all that amazing; they were simply obedient to Mama and Daddy’s demands, which catapulted them to sainthood in her parents’ estimation.

  “I’ll miss it, but I’m sure I’ll have time to see them in full glory on Sunday, Mama.”

  “You sure will!” Mama said, oblivious to Dayna’s sarcasm. “I’m just glad you’re coming!”

  “Thanks, Mama,” Dayna said. “And just to warn you, Warren may be with me. I don’t know for sure yet, but I’ve invited him.”

  “Well, why would you do that after —”

  “After what? After you told me that he wasn’t welcome at church?”

  “Watch your tone, young lady. I’m still your mother.”

  Dayna took a deep breath.

  “Sorry if I sounded disrespectful, Mama. I hope Warren is welcome, because I won’t feel welcome if he isn’t. I’m sure he won’t mind staying at a hotel if that makes you more comfortable, but he and I are pretty serious, and I think it’s important to spend the holiday with him, if he wants to join me. His sons will most likely spend Easter weekend with their grandparents.”

  “I see.”

  Mama’s disapproving silence lingered in the air between them. Dayna refused to let it wear her down this time. She wasn’t going to keep Warren away for reasons that shouldn’t be an issue with someone who professed a love for God.

  “Anyway, there’s something I need to tell you,” she said.

  Distracting Mama was always the best route to disengage her from an uncomfortable topic, but Dayna hated that this time she would be sharing terrible news about someone who was in part responsible for the strain that existed between them.

  “What is it? You’re not pregnant, are you?” She whispered the question as if the phone line were tapped.

  What if I were? The retort raced to Dayna’s lips, but she pursed them before it escaped.

  “Mama, just let me talk,” Dayna said, ignoring the question. “I need to tell you something sad. Brent and I reconnected a month ago, after he found out that we both were living in Florida.”

  Mama gasped. “My word! Really?”

  She sounded so hopeful. Hadn’t she been listening when Dayna mentioned that this involved sad news? Or that she and Warren were serious?

  “Is he still married to that … that floozy? Or does he want you back?”

  Dayna frowned. Who used a word like floozy in the twenty-first century?

  “I don’t know how to say this except to just say it, Mama: Brent has cancer and his doctors say he doesn’t have much longer to live. I thought you’d want to know … so you could pray for him.”

  Mama fell silent, and Dayna could imagine just what she was doing: standing in the kitchen with the dainty palm of her hand covering her open mouth.

  “Not my Brent!”

  The word my felt like a jab. Dayna couldn’t recall either of her parents using that possessive noun with such warmth in regard to her or her sisters.

  “How much longer does he have? How is he doing?”

  She should have anticipated the questions, but they made Dayna wish she hadn’t said anything.

  “He’s hanging in there. I’m not sure how much time he has, but his wife Tamara is with him, and he’s doing his best to remain optimistic.”

  Dayna decided not to reveal how often they’d been in touch, or that she was helping him establish a foundation. Armed with that information, Mama would never release her dreams of reconciliation, despite the fact that he was still married to someone else or the reality that Brent was dying. Instead, Dayna steered the conversation back to her upcoming visit.

  “I’ll let Brent know you’re praying for him the next time I talk to him. In the meantime, I’ll be in touch when I nail down the specifics of my Easter weekend arrival.”

  “Oh, yes,” Mama said. “And let me know what you decide about Warren. We’ll make it work out somehow.”

  “It will be okay, Mama. Really.”

  They ended the call with their routine pleasantries and Dayna finally felt free to move into the rest of her evening. Warren had finally texted her that he’d be tied up the rest of the evening with the boys and wished her a good night. She knew they would talk tomorrow and tried not to fret. Had the situation been reversed and she walked in on him with an ex, she would need time to process it all too. Dayna refused to let herself panic.

  With Warren unavailable and her thoughts racing too much to do anything productive, she wound up surfing her friends’ and colleagues’ profiles on Facebook for two hours, and responding to messages on her social network account that had been sent to her weeks earlier.

  Bedtime rolled around, and she didn’t feel sleepy. Dayna was tempted to dial Warren’s cell, but decided against it. She crawled into bed and opened the devotional she had been reading to guide her through the Bible. Tonight’s topic was about letting the Lord fight your battles. Dayna read the devotional author’s explanations of what that meant, and the accompanying verse, 2 Chronicles 20:17. In the New Living Translation, it read:

  But you will not even need to fight. Take your positions; then stand still and watch the LORD’s victory. He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid or discouraged. Go out against them tomorrow, for the LORD is with you!

  Dayna pulled up the verse on her iPad in s
everal other versions, from New King James to The Message, to better understand it. She prayed for wisdom to understand how this Old Testament verse could apply to her current situation, and then she uttered the growing list of names for her morning and nightly prayer list. It was long enough now that she had written all of the names down, so she wouldn’t forget anyone in the haze of nighttime sleepiness or early morning fogginess.

  This verse in particular struck a chord, with all she was facing at work, with her parents, and with Brent, Tamara, and Warren. All very different situations with the need to be worked out by God.

  Tomorrow, she’d talk to Warren about what he’d heard in her conversation with Brent, and they’d work through it. She also planned to ask him about the photo of him and April he’d recently posted as his Facebook profile picture. If he hadn’t healed from his wife’s death, why was he continually hinting at marriage? Dayna wasn’t sure what disturbed her more: the photo or the fact that Lily bore such a striking resemblance to April Avery. She wondered for the first time this evening if that’s why Warren had kept Lily around for so long. She was determined not to fret, though. 2 Chronicles 20:17 had reassured her it wouldn’t be necessary.

  forty-three

  A couple days later when the alarm sounded at seven a.m., and for the first Sunday in a long time, Dayna didn’t groan.

  With all that had been going on in recent weeks, coupled with the promise she had made to Warren and to herself to pray for her parents and for Brent and Tamara, she’d felt a new and fresh yearning to be in God’s presence. But Warren was out sailing with the boys again, and she needed something more this morning than a satellite service could provide. Then she thought of Audrey. Maybe she should extend an olive branch and invite her to join her for church.

  Dayna couldn’t stifle a yawn as she dialed Audrey’s number. Her friend heard the last of it and giggled.

  “I know how you feel — I stayed up way too late last night for someone who said she was serious about going to church this morning,” Audrey said.

  “You were planning to go too? Cool — I’ll be by to get you at nine-thirty.”

  They still had a lot of ground to cover before their friendship returned to normal, but this was a good place to start. Calero Community Church held worship service at 9:45 a.m. and was about ten minutes from Audrey’s house.

  “We haven’t been in so long; you think they’ll make us sit in sinner’s row?” Audrey said, and chuckled at her own joke. “Actually, I was considering attending somewhere other than Calero Community. Chas has been asking me to visit his church, on the north side, and I thought I might surprise him this morning. Want to go with me?”

  “Chas who works in my department?” Dayna said.

  “Yes, that Chas,” Audrey said. “He’s not married, is he?”

  Dayna doubled over with laughter. “In the two years that I’ve known him and worked with him, I haven’t seen or heard of a wife or significant other, so you should be on safe ground,” she said after composing herself. “If you’re seriously interested in him though, you’d better ask up front!”

  Audrey joined in the laughter. “His church begins worship service at 11 a.m. You game? Or is your heart set on making an appearance at Calero Community?”

  Dayna climbed out of bed and padded toward the closet. “It doesn’t matter where we go today; I just want to worship in person,” she said. “Sounds funny coming from me, huh?”

  Audrey grew somber.

  “Not funny at all, my friend. You and I must be destined to grow up before we hit the big 4 – 0, because these past few weeks have been something else for both of us. All I can say is, God has gotten my attention again; I’m just ashamed that it took all of this for me to wake up.”

  Dayna wondered if she were being taught a lesson too. If so, she needed clearer instruction — it was all so strange. “It doesn’t matter how long it took, Audrey,” Dayna said. “What matters is that you’re open to waking up and to hearing him. I’m trying to get there too. Tell me the attire for Chas’s church and I can meet you there or at your place.”

  Three hours later, she pulled into the parking lot of Haven Church, in northern Calero, and realized she’d never find Audrey’s vehicle in this sea of cars. She sent her a text and asked if Audrey wanted to meet near the church entrance.

  Seconds later, she looked up to find Audrey standing next to her Lexus, wearing a grin. Dayna stepped out of her car.

  “If your father were here, I’m guessing he’d say that God ordained it for us to arrive at the same time and park so close to each other, right?” Audrey laughed and pointed two rows over to where her gray sedan was parked.

  Dayna chuckled. “Daddy and Warren would both say that, so I guess that means it’s true. You look cute!”

  Audrey was wearing a white spaghetti-strapped sundress and matching sandals with a slight heel. The weather was perfect and she looked the part. There was nothing like March in Florida. It rivaled the weather that the rest of the southeast experienced in June.

  “Why’d you decide to wear white today?” Dayna couldn’t help but tease her friend, now that they had cleared the air between them. She knew Audrey was still hurting, but talking about it, even in a lighthearted manner, seemed to be helpful.

  Audrey eyes narrowed. “Very funny. I’m not a member of the Sister Act cast by any means, but I can be purified.”

  “Well, go on with your bad self,” said Dayna. They shared a laugh, something Dayna was grateful for after their recent strain.

  “Any word on a court date yet? How do you like the attorney Spencer recommended?”

  “He’s expensive, but good. The court date is a few weeks away. I’m praying for mercy.”

  Dayna nodded. “Praying with you.”

  Audrey smiled at Dayna. “Thank you.”

  When Dayna raised an eyebrow, as if questioning what for, Audrey had a ready answer. “For being there for me. And forgiving me, even though I was in the wrong.”

  Dayna reached for Audrey’s hand and squeezed it. “Our drama hasn’t been the same, but I’m not perfect either, Audrey,” she said. “You pray for me today, and I’ll pray for you, and we’ll both be straight. Deal?”

  “Deal,” Audrey said. “And with Chas being here, we can be certain he’ll be praying for us both.”

  forty-four

  Dayna and Audrey strolled to their cars after Sunday morning service and agreed: Chas’s pastor was going to need a medicated rub-down when he got home.

  “How does that man jump five feet in the air when he’s preaching and not break a bone?” Audrey asked, and shook her head. “I know he has to visit a chiropractor or orthopedic doctor at least once or twice a month.”

  Dayna shrugged.

  “God’s grace is something else,” she said. “I asked Chas about it before he disappeared into an after-service meeting for church leaders. He said when Reverend Miller is flowing in the Spirit, he’s all over the place. He was certainly getting his Michael Jordan on today!”

  Audrey shook her head. “For a grown woman, you are so corny.”

  “Whatever.” Dayna laughed.

  Both grew quiet and retreated to their private thoughts on the rest of the brief walk to their cars. When Dayna paused to find her keys, Audrey stopped alongside her.

  “What are you doing the rest of today — spending it with Warren?”

  Dayna leaned on her car and peered at Audrey. Without asking why, she knew what had led Audrey to pose the question: Sunday afternoons must have been reserved for her married lover, after he attended church and enjoyed a meal with his family. Now she was at loose ends.

  Dayna couldn’t quite muster the sympathy she knew Audrey must want and need, yet her heart went out to her friend. She didn’t want her to be sad and lonely.

  “I may see Warren later, but he’s on the boat today for some father-son time with the boys. I’m treating Duchess to lunch — you remember meeting her, right? She’s my college friend Vanora’s aunt.
Want to join us?”

  Audrey shook her head. “Nah, I’ll pass. I may go to the mall or rent a movie or maybe just spend the afternoon napping. Tell Duchess I said hello, though. She is a sweet lady, and I enjoy seeing her when you bring her around.”

  “You sure you don’t want to come with me and tell her yourself?”

  Audrey shook her head. “You go on and spend that special time with her. She enjoys your company. I’ll catch up with you later. Did you decide what you’re going to do about Brent?”

  Dayna sighed. Before the service, she had filled Audrey in on her hasty visit to the hospital in the Cocoa Beach area and about Brent’s behavior toward her and Tamara.

  “I know I need to move as fast as I can for two reasons — to get the Injured Collegiate Athlete Fund launched, as Brent wants it to happen before he’s too sick to help oversee everything, and to remove myself from his and Tamara’s lives. They need some time, just the two of them, to grieve and help each other through this. I’ve become the third wheel, and it’s uncomfortable.”

  “Warren isn’t too pleased either, is he?”

  “No, he isn’t,” Dayna said. She hadn’t mentioned that Warren had also come to the hospital or the strain that Brent’s comments, and her response to them, had caused between them.

  “He can’t bring himself to admit that he’s jealous of a dying man, but he is. I think he feels like he’s in competition with Brent for my attention, which is the farthest thing from the truth.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Audrey’s skepticism surprised Dayna. “What are you trying to say?”

  Audrey shrugged. “I don’t know. You do seem vested in Brent these days. And that means there’s less time for Warren. And Warren’s got it bad for you.”

  “He knows I love him.”

  Audrey looked like she wanted to say more, but didn’t.

  “At least you’re a step closer to having the family we both want — you’ve got a man who cares and wants to be with you,” she finally said. “That’s half the battle. I’m all about the name of Jesus now, but you know I grew up as one of the few black Jews in America — according to Jewish tradition my destiny in life is to be a wife and mother. Where did I go wrong?”