by Lillard, Amy
The thought made her sad beyond belief.
Maybe she could get Jodie to increase her hours. Just for a while.
“Ach, Esther Lapp, it looks like a tornado blew through here.”
Esther swiped a loose strand of hair and pushed it back under her prayer kapp. “Worse,” she said with a sigh. “Tour bus.”
Abe laughed. “I left Danny and Andrew haggling with some ladies who wanted a deep discount on furniture.”
“I’m sure they appreciate that very much.”
Abe shrugged. “How else will they learn?”
Esther sighed and looked around the messy dining room floor. “Jodie will be here in a few minutes, but I think it’s going to take longer than that to clean up this mess.”
“I guess it’s been hard without Caroline.”
“Jah.” Esther sighed again. “I don’t want to hire anyone else.” She grabbed the broom by the handle and started to sweep up the crazy mess of wax paper wrappers and tracked-in debris.
Abe took the broom from her. “I can sweep, you clear the tables.”
Esther had never had anyone help her before Caroline had come to Wells Landing, and the gesture was almost more than she had hoped for.
Abe was sweeping up the last of the trash when Jodie arrived a bit late, pink-cheeked and breathless. “I’m so sorry, Esther. My bruder fell just as we were leaving. My mamm had to get him in the buggy and over to the doc’s. She stayed there with him. I had to walk the rest of the way.”
“No worries, child. Is he going to be allrecht?”
“Jah”, Jodie said. “I think so. Just some stitches and a headache.”
“Gut, gut,” Esther said. “Get your apron and wash your hands. I’m going to take a little break with Abe Fitch, jah?”
Jodie blinked as if she had been struck deaf, then smiled from ear to ear. “Jah”, she said loud enough for Abe to hear. Then she lowered her voice and added, “Caroline would be so proud,” for Esther’s ears only.
Esther hid her own smile and turned back to Abe. “Danki for the help, Abe Fitch. Just give me a moment, and we can talk.”
He shot her a quick nod.
“I’ll get you some snacks together,” Jodie said, then snapped her fingers as inspiration struck. “I’ll make it to go so you can take it to the park, jah?” Without waiting on their okay, she began to pack a paper sack for them.
Esther excused herself and made her way back to the apartment that she had shared with Caroline and Emma. Now only Moxie waited for her to return.
She scratched the pooch behind the ears. “Hey, pup, you want to go for a walk?”
Moxie barked out his response, and Esther laughed.
She gave him one last pat on the head, then made her way to find a clean apron.
She was not trying to impress him, she told herself as she donned the clean garment and washed her hands and face. She removed her prayer kapp and brushed her long brown hair out. When had she gotten so gray? She parted it down the middle and secured it at the nape of her neck. Definitely when she wasn’t looking. She smiled at her own joke and repinned her prayer kapp.
There. She was serviceable, she told herself, turning this way and that as she looked into the tiny bathroom mirror. Then she reached up and pinched some color back into her cheeks.
“Foolish old woman,” she muttered to her reflection, then she checked to make sure that she didn’t have anything stuck in her teeth and went to fetch Moxie’s leash.
When she arrived back at the front of the bakery, Abe was waiting on her with two coffees and a bulging paper sack in hand.
Though his hands were full, Abe offered her one of his elbows to take as he guided her across the street and into the city park.
This was definitely something Esther had missed since John had passed away. Having a man to escort her, a companion at her side. She had proven to herself and to others that she could survive on her own, even in a culture that thrived on togetherness.
She could support herself, make her own way. She didn’t have to lean on anybody in order to survive. It made the thought of walking side by side with Abe Fitch all the more sweet.
Let me talk, she said to herself as they made their way to one of the picnic tables.
“Did you say something?” Abe asked.
Esther shook her head, hoping that if she had, she would be forgiven her unintentional lie. She released his elbow and slid onto one side of the bench.
He set their snack on the table and took Moxie’s leash from her. “You look like you could use a rest. Let me take this here fella for a walk, jah?”
She stretched her legs out in front of her. The energetic part of her wanted to walk beside him and find out what he had decided about telling Andrew the truth. But the tired part of her—and she was going to call it her tired part and not her cowardice—just watched him patiently wait for Moxie to finish his business before directing him back to where she waited.
Abe looped the puppy’s leash around one of the table legs and stepped over the bench just across from her.
Esther pushed his coffee across to him and opened the so-full paper sack. “Cookies or coffee cake?”
He gave her a look.
“Right,” she said, doling out both in front of him. If there was one thing she had learned about Abe Fitch in the last few weeks, it was that the man sure enjoyed his sweets.
He took an appreciative bite out of the coffee cake. Esther was a little too anxious to eat. She sat, hands folded, and resisted the urge to tap her fingers while Abe ate.
“You should have your snack,” Abe said, starting on the stack of cookies in front of him.
Evidently, Abe wasn’t going to talk until their snack was complete. Esther picked up a cookie and nibbled the edge. There was just too much at stake: the two of them, Caroline and Andrew. So much hinged on what he was about to say.
“We can’t eat and talk?”
He shrugged, and she was sure that she saw a sparkle of mirth in those blue eyes. “What do you want to talk about first?”
“Caroline,” she said. The young people, they were the most important. She and Abe had their chance at happiness in life. It was time for the young’uns to have theirs.
“You want me to tell Andrew all about Caroline’s troubles.”
“Jah.”
“It seems to me that it’s almost . . . gossiping.”
“Abe Fitch, you are making more of this than needs to be. All you have to do is tell Andrew that Caroline wants him to follow her to Tennessee.”
Abe stroked his beard. “If it’s so easy, why don’t you tell him?”
Esther felt the blush, hotter than the hot Oklahoma summer sun. “Because I promised I wouldn’t tell him.”
Abe squinted at her. “But it is okay to tell me?”
“I didn’t promise to not tell you.”
“You are a sneaky one, Esther Lapp.” But he smiled, taking the sting from his words.
“So you’ll do it.”
He nodded. “These kinner deserve to be happy, jah?”
Esther smiled, exhaling her relief.“Jah.”
“Now”—Abe cocked his head to one side and eyed her thoughtfully—“what are we going to do about the two of us?”
“What do you suppose we should do?” Not much of a response, but she was too nervous to be hopeful, too hopeful to be uneasy. He had said that he had admired her for years.
He looked away, staring off into the grassy expanse of the park. “Esther, I think you are a fine woman.”
Her heart sank. That sounded like a brush-off if she had ever heard one. “But . . . ?”
He turned back to her, his eyes alight with a blue fire. “No but. You were the one who wanted to pray about it.”
“And you didn’t?”
He shook his head. “The good Lord told me long ago that you were the woman for me.”
A small kernel of happiness burst in her chest.“Jah?” she whispered.
“I always thought you we
re a handsome woman. Even when you were married to John Lapp.” He shook his head. “Then after he died, it seemed that you were determined to make a go of it single, so I left well enough alone.”
Esther’s breath caught in her throat. “Are you saying . . . ?”
“That I’ve had my eye on you for longer than I can remember? Jah.” He reached across the table to where her trembling hand lay and took it into his own. “I’m willing to give it a try if you are.”
Esther laughed. “What do you think I’ve been trying to do?”
Abe returned her laugh with a smile of his own. “I thought you were just trying to get the kids together.”
“That too.”
“Well, I guess it’s time to see if we can make both of these relationships work.”
She couldn’t stop her wide smile, nor did she want to. Then she stopped. “Wait, if you have known for a long time that you wanted to court me, why didn’t you tell me that last night? Why make me wait until today?”
Abe ducked his head, then looked back up at her with a grin. “I had to make you wait a little bit. No sense in letting you think you were already walking around with my heart.”
“Am I?”
He took her trembling hand into his own. “For sure and for certain.”
The day was a perfect one by most standards. The sun was shining in the pristine blue sky. There was a light breeze out of the north that swept in and kept everything cool despite the mid-nineties temperatures.
“This is going to be so much fun,” Julie gushed as they parked the tractor at the edge of the cornfield. It was a short walk from there down to the pond that sat in the middle of the two fields, the trees surrounding it forming an oasis in the sea of corn.
“Jah”, Sarah agreed, looking around. “You don’t suppose anyone else is here, do you? Or maybe coming?”
Danny shrugged and transferred the picnic basket he carried from one hand to the other. “Hard to say. Why?”
Andrew thought he saw a touch of pink rise into Sarah’s cheeks before she turned away. “No reason.”
Julie sighed and turned in a complete circle as she walked, arms out at her sides, a big smile on her face. “It’s a wunderbaar day.”
“Jah,” Danny agreed, though his gaze was centered on the girl in front of him instead of their surroundings.
The temperature dropped several degrees as they ducked into the thatch of trees surrounding the pond. The mighty oaks and springy evergreens added both shade and seclusion to this favorite spot of the Amish kids.
On the banks, Julie and Sarah excused themselves to take off their dresses. Once they were out of sight, Andrew started to unlace his shoes and take off his socks.
“I really think Sarah likes you.”
Andrew frowned. “I don’t see why you think that. She’s hardly looked at me all day.”
Danny took off his hat and tossed it to the ground, then started unbuttoning his shirt. “Maybe if you acted like you like her.”
“I do like her.” Just not like that. Andrew swept his own hat from his head and stripped down to the shorts he wore under his pants.
“You miss Caroline.”
He stopped, his shirt half-on and half-off. “Jah,” he said quietly. But what good did that do him? She had left him behind without a word since. “I miss Emma too.” It was amazing how such a small creature could own such a big piece of his heart, but there it was. Emma and Caroline. His girls that were no longer his.
“Have you tried to contact her? Write her a letter, get her a message by phone? I’m sure Esther would let you use the bakery phone.”
Andrew shook his head. “I wouldn’t know who to call anyway.”
“What about a letter?”
“And say what? I can’t believe you left to go see your sick grandfather?”
Danny cocked his head to a thoughtful angle. “If that’s all she’s doing, then why did her letter make it seem like she was never coming back?”
It was the one question Andrew had never let himself ask. He was afraid of the answers. “I don’t know.”
“Did you miss me?” Julie sashayed out from between the trees where she and Sarah had gone to change. She wore a black swimsuit like the Englisch favored, though this one covered more skin than most. Her hair was still in its tidy roll at the nape of her neck, but her prayer kapp had been left behind with her frack and apron.
Danny stilled, his gaze soaking in the image of his girlfriend.
Jah, they’d most likely be married this fall if the look on Danny’s face was any indication. Andrew was happy for his friend. He truly was. But if Beth had lived, they would probably be getting married this fall.
It was the first time she had come into his mind in weeks. The thought made him sad. Maybe that was why Caroline left. Maybe this was God’s way of telling him to slow down, take things in the time they came, and not to worry about the unknown.
Julie gave a turn so that Danny could get a glimpse from every angle, then she ran to the fishing dock and jumped into the pond, Danny right behind her.
“They are such a sweet couple, jah?” Sarah asked from behind him.
Andrew turned back to her. Sarah stood at the edge of the trees wearing a black one-piece swimsuit of her own. She also had a pair of Englisch short pants on over the suit, and in place of her prayer kapp she wore a bandana.
“Jah.” He had such conflicting emotions, and Danny’s determination to set him up with Sarah was not helping matters in the least.
“Is someone coming?” She turned her head to the side as if listening for the crunch of footsteps through the trees.
Andrew shrugged. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Jonah shows up. After all, it’s his daddy’s pond.”
“You really think so?”
Julie squealed behind them as Danny pulled her under the water. She retaliated with a quick splash to the face. But it was the dreamy look in Sarah’s eyes that had Andrew’s attention.
“You like Jonah.”
Sarah shook her head and ran her hands nervously down the sides of her shorts. “Oh, nay, I already told you that I have put in to teach this upcoming year.”
Andrew squinted at her, studying the wide-eyed expression on her face. “Putting in to teach and liking Jonah Miller are not two things that cannot happen at once.”
“Jonah goes with Lorie Kauffman,” Sarah added. “Everybody knows that.”
“Jah,” Andrew said, though he was unconvinced. “You ready to swim?”
“Sure.” She headed toward the dock as Andrew smiled.
“Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”
After the day of playing in Millers’ pond and seeing Sarah’s face light up like fireflies on a summer night every time someone mentioned Jonah’s name, Andrew was exhausted and hungerich.
Her love for Jonah was destined for a terrible fate given that Jonah and Lorie had been going around together for as long as anyone cared to remember. But Sarah seemed happy to love him from a distance and hang her bonnet on teaching the young scholars of their community.
Danny took Julie and Sarah home first, then swung by the farm to let off Andrew.
Their picnic lunch was mighty tasty, but that had been hours ago. Hours of diving into the pond, splashing in the water, games of Marco Polo, and just hanging out.
Once he figured out that Sarah didn’t have her heart pinned to him, Andrew could finally relax and have a little fun, though the furtive glances and stolen touches between Danny and Julie were enough to make him feel like they should have come by themselves. Or perhaps that was why they had invited him and Sarah along: to keep them on the righteous path.
“Andrew? Is that you?” Abe hollered as Andrew let himself into the back door of the house.
“Jah,” he called, heading straight for the kitchen. He found some sandwich makings in the propane-powered refrigerator. He gathered up what he could, shut the door with his foot, and set his items on the kitchen table.
“Gut hi
mmel, bu. Did you forget to eat today?”
Andrew took a bite of the apple he still held and smiled a little sheepishly at his uncle. “Swimming always makes me hungry.”
Abe eyed the mess of food with a shake of his head. “Go ahead and eat, then there’s something I need to talk to you about.”
The words seemed innocent enough, but something in his onkle’s tone made the bottom drop out of Andrew’s stomach. He swallowed the bite of apple around the lump forming in his throat.“Jah?”
“About Caroline.”
Andrew’s appetite was gone in an instant. “What about Caroline?”
Abe waved a hand toward the sandwich fixings littering the table. “You can eat first.”
He shook his head. “It can wait.”
Abe sighed. “I went to dinner at Esther Lapp’s last night. It seems there are a few things about Caroline that we didn’t know.”
“Like?”
“Emma’s father isn’t dead.”
Andrew felt as if his heart had been stabbed with a blade. If Emma’s father wasn’t dead, then . . .
“He’s English,” Abe continued, twisting the pain in his heart. “They were never married.”
He let the words wash over him, trying to take them all in, but he felt like a sponge in too much water. There wasn’t enough of him to absorb it all and it seemed as if the knowledge might choke him. “But—” he managed to stammer.
Abe leaned forward and clasped his hands between his knees. “I know this comes as a shock to you. It surprised us all. Caroline seemed like such a gut maedel.”
“She is a good girl.” The words burst from Andrew without thought or forewarning. There he was defending her when she had told him nothing but lies. Had everything that happened between them been a lie? That moment in the park, their kiss, all the gut and wonderful times they had shared? “Why didn’t she tell me the truth?”
Abe laid a hand on Andrew’s knee, but he was too sensitive, too raw, and the heat seemed to burn his skin. He wanted to get up and run, run as fast as the horses that they stabled for their owners, run until he couldn’t run any longer, run until this pain was gone.