A Heart Decision

by Laurie Kellogg

  Once he collapsed on her, she breathed her astonishment in his ear and whispered, “Wow! If that wasn’t wild monkey sex, I don’t think I should ever try it. My heart couldn’t take anything more frenzied than that.”

  “Princess, they haven’t invented a term for what we just shared.” He rolled off her and chuckled. “I’m not sure, but I think you might’ve drawn blood.”

  “Oh, no. Let me see.” She pushed him on his side. “Oh, jeez, you’re not bleeding, but I did leave some welts.” She kissed his back. “I’m sorry. Some great nurse I am, clawing up my patient.”

  “Did you hear me complaining?” The smell of sweat and sex filled his nostrils. “You can demonstrate your superior nursing skills by giving me a sponge bath before I treat you to the slow loving I meant to give you.”

  “What makes you so sure you’ll be any more successful next time around?”

  “I’m not sure of anything with you, love. But if I fail,”—he grinned—“I’ll just have to keep trying until I get it right.”

  ~*~

  If only he could freeze time and stay in this moment forever. Luke stretched on the bed and closed his eyes to fully enjoy the incredible sensation of Sabrina’s soft hands washing his naked body.

  As she wiped the soapy washrag under his arms, her soft sigh tickled the damp hair on his chest. “Luke?”

  “Ummm?”

  “Why did you get the vasectomy?”

  “I already told you why.”

  “No, you didn’t—not really. I know it wasn’t just about avoiding an accidental pregnancy. No man who likes kids as much as you do would be so paranoid about procreating. Not unless he had a good reason. What is it?”

  He swallowed hard and kept his eyes closed. “I don’t want to discuss this.”

  “Well, I do.” She rinsed the washcloth in the plastic basin of hot water on the night table. “I want to marry you even if you don’t want kids. And if you change your mind, we could adopt or use a sperm donor.”

  “Why can’t you get it through your stubborn head? I am not getting married, and I am not having a family. I’m not capable of being a good father and husband.”

  “Because you’re a cop,” she said more as a statement than as a question.

  If only it were that simple. Despite that his career would be tough on a wife and kids, it wasn’t his prime motive for staying single. It simply reinforced his resolve. “Yeah, because I’m a cop.”

  “I don’t see why that’s such a problem. We could just live together for a while and see how it goes. I’m okay taking it slow.”

  “Forget it. I’m not.” The moisture on his skin evaporated in seconds in the air-conditioned room. “Other than a legal document, there’s no difference between shacking up and marriage.”

  “I don’t understand how you can just turn your back on what we feel for each other. This morning, BJ told me you’re in love with me.”

  His friend had a big mouth. “So? Being in love with you doesn’t change a damn thing.”

  “It most certainly does. How you can be in love with me and not want to be with me for the rest of your life?”

  “I do,” he said, his voice cracking, “but not at the expense of your happiness.”

  “Do I seem happy now?” She sniffled and a tear plopped onto his chest. “I’ll be miserable without you.”

  Not as miserable as she would be wiping his ass and raising their child alone, never knowing what the next day would bring.

  He blew out an exasperated huff. “I knew sleeping with you was a mistake. You promised me you could handle a casual fling, damn it. The whole point was for you to get over me.”

  “I thought I could handle it,” she sobbed, rinsing out the washcloth.

  “No, be honest. You and Ben both figured, if I held you in my arms and we touched each other in ways I’d only dreamed of, I’d change my stance on getting hitched.”

  Dead silence echoed in the room for several moments.

  “You’re right. I did,” she whispered. “And I just fell more deeply in love with you. I don’t see how I can marry Ben, feeling this way about you.”

  “And I won’t marry you.” He plowed his fingers through his hair. “Why do you have to ruin the little time we have together with your refusal to accept that?”

  “I don’t know. You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  His erection pulsed as she moved the washcloth lower. Air through his gritted teeth, as he murmured, “I love you more than life, Sabrina. But no matter how many times we make love, I’ll still feel the same way I do now about making you my wife.”

  The only thing that would change was how much it would hurt to let her go.

  ~*~

  She’d been a fool to think she could exorcise Luke from her heart, and an even bigger idiot to choose one of the most intimate moments she would share with him to challenge his position on marriage. She wanted this night to be perfect for him—not make it something he’d regret in the morning.

  She studied the muscles flexing in his neck and shoulders as she washed his lower half. “Are you sure you don’t want to do this yourself?”

  “Absolutely not,” he muttered, his erection growing larger by the second. “You’re doing just fine. Although, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if you lost the washrag.”

  She lathered her palm with the bar of soap and grabbed his thick shaft. It twitched and throbbed. His mouth dropped open as she slowly pumped her hand up and down, picking up momentum with each stroke.

  “Oh, baby, don’t,” he rasped. “I want to be inside you when I come.”

  “Okay.” She smiled. “Just let me rinse the soap off you.” Once she wiped him off with the wet rag, she stared at his rigid flesh and shook her head, clucking her tongue. “I don’t know. I’m not sure you’re quite clean enough yet.” She dipped her head, slid her lips down over the length of him, and sucked on him.

  He arched his back and groaned, “Brina, please. You’ve got me so hard I’m gonna go off like a firecracker.”

  Drawing back, she flashed a wide-eyed innocent grin at him. “What’s the matter? You said you wanted to be inside me. You were.” She swung her leg over his hips and poised the warm, slick ache between her legs over the tip of his erection.

  When his hips lifted, straining toward her heat, she rose higher on her knees, keeping her feminine slit a hair’s breadth away from his probing flesh.

  “You’re a tease, Nurse Fitzpatrick. Is this how you treat all your horny patients?”

  “Only the cocky ones.” She chuckled.

  “Ahhh.” He smirked and cupped her breasts in his palms. “So, are you referring to their conceit or their manly endowment?”

  “Does it matter? You have an extra helping of both.”

  “Will it do any good if I humble myself and beg?” he asked

  “No—” She gasped as he pinched her nipples. “But if you keep that up, it might help your cause.”

  “Oh, really?” He rolled the tips of her breasts between his fingers and tweaked them again. Her whole body jolted and shook at the intense pleasure rocketing from her breasts to the intimate crease she taunted him with.

  “Two can play that game.” She pinched his flat nipples, and his breath hitched.

  “Baby, you don’t want to get into a titty-teasin’ war with me. I guarantee, you’ll end up the loser.”

  Grinning down at him, she arched her back and thrust her breasts more fully into his hands. “Or the winner,” she moaned softly, “depending, of course, on your perspective.”

  As his gaze trekked down her body, stopping at strategic points before returning to her face, the heat in his half-lidded eyes melted her insides.

  “Any second now, my perspective could disappoint you.”

  “How so?”

  “The view is so spectacular from down here....” He winced as he lifted his hips toward her heat again and missed making contact with her core by a millimeter. “Do you have any idea how beautiful and sexy you lo
ok, straddling me naked? Seeing you like this has given me the granddaddy of all hard-ons.”

  She peered down between her legs and chuckled. They’d just made love an hour ago, and he was more ready than ever. “Hmm....Mr. Happy doesn’t look like a granddaddy. In fact, at the moment, there’s not a wrinkle on him.”

  He squeezed her breasts and arched one dark eyebrow at her. “Well, in about thirty seconds, if you don’t slide down on my stiff friend, he’s likely to shrivel up and get as soft and wrinkled as one of your ex-geriatric patients.”

  “Ohhh, that would be a pity.” She giggled, aligning herself with his twitching flesh. “I guess it’s sort of foolish to waste such a magnificent example of masculinity, huh?”

  “I knew you’d see the wisdom in my—” His words caught in his throat as she sank down hard, impaling herself on his rigid shaft. A savage flame flared in his eyes as the head of his erection slammed against her womb, stealing her breath as well as his.

  “Holy shit.”

  He could say that again. It felt so good to be filled by him. “What’s the matter?” She pouted innocently. “I simply did what you told me to.”

  “It would be nice if you gave a guy a couple of seconds warning.” He grabbed her hips as she started to rock and held her still. “Please, just don’t budge for a few moments,” he forced past gritted teeth. “If you do, I won’t be responsible for the outcome.”

  If she didn’t move, the gnawing ache inside her was likely to drive her mad. Ignoring his plea, she braced her hands on his muscled chest and rose up on her knees again. As she dropped back down on his erection, the helpless vulnerability in his eyes brought a lump to her throat.

  It was as if his desire had rendered him incapable of stopping her from stealing his restraint. His look of utter defeat almost made her feel sorry for him. But not quite.

  She’d never felt so powerful. So much in control. She wanted to bend him to her will. She wanted to make him come even though he resisted.

  Where had this overwhelming need to dominate him come from?

  “Princess.” He panted. “If you don’t stop for a moment, I’m gonna lose it.”

  “Tough.” She continued bouncing up and down, spurred by the incredible pleasure produced by his hard flesh sliding in and out of her. “You’ve been calling all the shots in our relationship. This time I’m in charge.”

  He clawed the mattress. “Please, I can’t take much more of this.”

  “Then, by all means, surrender.”

  “No, damn it.” His eyelashes flew up. Renewed determination lit his gaze. “I want you to come, too.”

  He had no idea how close she was to doing just that. But the devil in her compelled her to torture him a bit more. She trailed her fingernail down the center of his chest to his navel. “Then I suggest you control yourself a little longer.”

  “That’s like asking me to keep an active volcano from erupting.” His hips bucked frantically beneath her, rubbing his velvety erection against the bud of pleasure inside her.”

  Their gazes locked as she rode him faster, and he plunged deeper with every thrust of his hips. Their joining became too frenzied to continue their verbal sparring. Everything she felt for Luke reflected back from his eyes, and they became one, mind, body, and soul.

  “I love you, Brina,” he rasped as he rolled her to her back and took control. He slowed the pace of their lovemaking, and the intensity of emotion on his face brought tears to her eyes.

  “And I love you, Luke, always and forever.”

  If only he would tell her what was stopping him from spending the rest of his life like this with her. He’d left her no choice but to pry and, if that didn’t work, go behind his back to uncover his terrible secret. It had to be awful. Otherwise, he would never let her go.

  ~*~

  Luke stared down at the clothing strewn over the staircase.

  Sabrina descended the steps ahead of him and picked up their clothes along the way. At the bottom, she glanced back up at him sliding down the stairs on his butt. “What happened to my underwear?”

  “I threw your panties down there with my—” His gaze shot to the dogs yapping at her feet. If he hadn’t been so distracted, he would’ve locked the puppies in their crate before he’d taken Sabrina upstairs the night before. “I think our friend, Dusty, might’ve taken them.”

  Sabrina reached down and scratched the puppy’s head. “Okay, fella, what’d you do with my underpants?”

  “You don’t really think he’s gonna lead you to them, do you?” Luke laughed as he stood at the base of the steps and sank into the electric wheelchair. “If I were him, you’d have to ante up a juicy T-bone to get me to surrender them.”

  “What on earth would he want with my panties? Besides, what makes you so sure he took them? Maybe Mopsy hid them.”

  Obviously, Sabrina had no idea what the scent of a woman could do to a male—regardless of the species.

  “Don’t worry about them. They’ll turn up eventually. Right now, you need to concentrate on making me breakfast, woman. I’m starving.” They’d made love four times since their ice cream the night before. He wasn’t used to expending that much energy without refueling.

  “I don’t doubt it.” Sabrina glanced at her watch and chuckled. “But don’t you think eleven o’clock calls for brunch?”

  “Call the meal whatever you want. Just feed me. But first, you’d better take the dogs outside. I’m amazed they haven’t made a mess already.” Pushing the control on the chair, he followed her into the kitchen and parked himself at the table.

  “They’ve been out. I snuck down the servants steps at about seven o’clock, gave them breakfast, and took them out.” Sabrina removed the can of coffee and the orange juice from the fridge and poured him a glass of juice. “That should tide you over while I make—”

  A knock on the back door cut her off. “Good morning.” Ben walked in and brushed Sabrina’s mouth with a kiss. “Where the hell have you two been?”

  Ben was the last person on earth Luke wanted to see at the moment. He’d never felt more uncomfortable in his life.

  “Uhhh....we’ve been right here.” She bit her lip and flashed a guilty look at Luke as she measured coffee into a filter.

  “Well, I tried calling the house last night and didn’t get an answer. So I tried your cell phone until midnight and left half a dozen messages. When Tyler told me he’s been trying to get you all morning, too, I started to worry something might be wrong. You always check your voicemail a dozen times a day.”

  Ben had graduated suma cum laude and had an MBA from Wharton. There was no way, he wouldn’t have suspected what Sabrina had been doing after what he’d asked of Luke. Obviously, he was making excuses for his visit because he needed to confirm his suspicions.

  “It’s my fault.” Luke spread his hands in apology. “I turned the ringer off on the bedroom phone last night.”

  Ben’s smile fell as his gaze darted between Sabrina’s wet hair and Luke’s damp head and bare chest and finally rested on the glass of juice. “Oh. You just woke up.”

  “Not exactly.” Luke stared at the table, avoiding BJ’s speculative gaze. “Showering with a cast takes a while.”

  Since he hadn’t needed any pain meds the night before, Sabrina had helped him shower that morning. Of course, after soaping each other all over several times, they’d ended up back in bed for an hour.

  She poured a carafe full of water into the coffee maker and started it. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer the phone. I forgot to take it upstairs with me. I hope you didn’t drive all the way down here just because—”

  “No. I came because I missed you. And to reassure your brother everything was all right.” And, no doubt, to torture himself.

  “So what did Ty want?” Luke asked.

  “He was hoping you two could go over there and watch the kids for a couple of hours this afternoon and then stay for dinner. Dorothy had a last minute emergency with her sister, and Annie has a
dentist appointment.”

  The live-in housekeeper Tyler hired after he married Annie treated their three kids like they were her grandchildren.

  “Annie can cancel it,” Ben continued. “But if you can sit with the kids, she won’t have to.”

  Sabrina laid her hand on Luke’s shoulder. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you?”

  “Not at all. I love playing with the rug rats.”

  Ben stared down at Sabrina’s hand. “Sweetheart, where’s your ring?”

  Her face flushed to a deep pink while she rooted through the pile of discarded clothing she’d left on the counter and dug the diamond ring out of the pocket of her slacks.

  Ben picked up Luke’s shredded T-shirt and studied it. If that wasn’t bad enough, Dusty chose that moment to scamper into the kitchen with the crotch of Sabrina’s purple bikini panties in his teeth.

  She took one look at the puppy and dashed down the hall and up the stairs.

  As Ben bent down and wrestled the underpants from the dog, Luke closed his eyes and muttered to the puppy, “I know a couple of Vietnamese chefs who’d love to get their hands on a mutt like you.”

  Staring at Luke, Ben rubbed the silky fabric between his fingers. The muscles in his throat visibly pulsated as he held up the torn T-shirt in his other hand and rasped, “This is why she didn’t answer the phone, isn’t it?”

  Ding, ding, ding. Give the man a prize.

  “You can’t tell me the possibility didn’t cross your mind. Especially since you orchestrated the whole affair.”

  Was it possible his friend simply hadn’t believed he would go through with it?

  Whatever the case, his night with Sabrina had obviously damaged his relationship with Ben as badly as he’d feared it might.

  CHAPTER 9

  Why had she ever believed this could work? Sabrina sat at the top of the steps and buried her face in her hands while she listened to the guys argue downstairs.

  “Hell, yeah, it crossed my mind. But you said you’d give it some thought.” Ben snorted. “You certainly didn’t waste any time once you made up your mind, did you?”