Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

My eyes meet his as if on command. Leaning up, Gray takes my mouth with his, stealing my cries. I moan against his mouth, his hips pumping against mine, giving just as much as he is taking. There is no build up to the orgasm as it crashes over me. It hits me like nothing ever before, making me scream out his name as my body flies over the edge. I think that my heart may have stopped because I barely hear Gray cursing as his climax over takes him. I can feel him thrusting against me, my walls clenching around him, but I can’t move. I know that I stop breathing for a minute because Gray has to tell me to take a breath which makes me laugh.

  Gray pulls me onto his chest, kissing me slowly then slaps my ass. “Get dressed. I want food.”

  Climbing off of the bed he pulls me with him. “Shower, baby. Fast. I want to go eat with you. Be with you away from all of this,” Gray says, lightly kissing my lips. I nod, grab some clothes and head to the bathroom.

  Chapter Eleven

  Mapping out the Territory

  After a quick shower, I throw on a hoodie with some jeans to go eat with Gray. Since Henry is still out with Hunter, we end up taking a cab. I look around at the nearly empty diner once we are sitting in a little corner booth. Gray has me pulled up against him while he looks through the menu he is holding. “What’s with you guys always wanting to hit these little places anyway?”

  “When we first started touring, every single night there was a fight over where to eat. It was hard to find a place that we could agree on since we all like different shit. Aiden won’t eat anything with vegetables in it. Hunter, well you already know about his obsession with bacon,” he says winking. “Henry, he just eats the spiciest shit ever. Not to mention the portion sizes. I mean that motherfucker puts shit away that would eat through a cement block.”

  “You’re so full of shit,” I giggle, making his face warm.

  “You watch, Wildflower. When he brings in some super-hot shit to eat, Cunter comes out full force trying to out-do the big man. It’s funny as hell,” he says, shaking his head. “The last time Hunter ended up in the bathroom sick for three days. I had to call in someone to clean the fuckin’ bus. We had to stay in a hotel for three days while the shit aired out. Anyway, these little truck stop diners always have a little of everything.”

  I laugh as Gray tells me about touring while we eat. They are always playing pranks on each other or getting into trouble. “I can’t believe you three played naked on stage to sell out a show,” I say, laughing so hard at some of the stories that I nearly choke on my tea more than once.

  Gray shrugs, “Since I play guitar, I was mostly covered. It was no big deal. Except, Aiden nearly beat his stick, with his sticks,” he blurts, making me laugh.

  “Oh my God,” I say gasping for breath.

  “You say that a lot.” I glare at him as the grin spreads across his face. That sexy face of his melts my annoyance instantly, making me lose the battle to keep a straight face. “She’s smilin’ at me,” he whispers leaning in to touch his lips to mine. “Tell me something about you, Daisy.”

  I sigh. “Up until yesterday, the list was all that mattered.”

  “Fuck the list, Daisy. Gimmie that damn thing,” he says, yanking my pad from my bag. “Ah okay,” he continues, his eyes scanning the page. “So you’re officially at marriage, career, with a partridge in a pear tree?”

  “It’s not funny, Gray,” I snap, trying to yank the pad from him.

  “It is Wildflower. Life is not planned out on a goddamn legal pad. You don’t go through checking off things like you do at the grocery store. Fuck, Daisy have you ever had one day of unplanned fun in your whole fuckin’ life ‘til now?

  I shove at his chest. “You’re an asshole. I have had fun. I’ve done lots of things. I just want my goals lined out so that I can see them.”

  “Where’s the main goal, Wildflower?” he asks, flipping through the pad as if I had more there. “Where does it say ‘number one, Daisy is happy’? That’s all that fuckin’ matters. You lined your life out here, page by page. What do you have to show for it all, huh? Nothing on this list is worth shit if you aren’t happy. You need to stop hiding behind a damn piece of paper, Daisy. You are using it as an excuse to hold back, all so you can hide. Why should you duck your head, escaping all the real things in life? You should never hide, baby. It’s time to do some shit to make the wildflower bloom.”

  Grabbing the pen from my bag Gray writes: Daisy’s List. Then he writes his previous number one below the title. “Let’s see here,” he starts as he chews the end of the pen. Shit, everything he does is so fucking sexy. “Two should definitely be laugh. You need to laugh a lot,” he says as he scribbles on the page. “I think you need to get a tattoo,” he tosses out, making me hiss out a breath. His eyes dart to mine, “What?”

  “I’m scared of needles, Gray. I can’t do that.”

  “Oh that fuckin’ settles it. You eat my ink up, Wildflower. You’re getting’ tatted so I can return the favor. Let’s go.” Shoving the pad into his pocket, Gray tosses some money onto the table. He yanks me from the booth, almost dragging me out of the diner, hurrying to catch a cab before it pulls out. Opening the car door, he helps me inside then slides in next to me.

  Gray rattles an address from his phone to the driver as we pull out into traffic. My nerves are churning in my stomach like a typhoon. I’m concentrating on the street lights just to keep from hurling my dinner into the floorboard of the taxi. Holding my hand in his, Gray’s thumb makes tiny circles over my wrist. The feeling soothes me enough that I stop trembling.

  “Okay. Let’s get your mind on something else,” Gray says, pulling me from inside my head. “This new list of yours…” he starts as he pulls it from his pocket. “Does it include how to deal with Landon? Because my brother putting his dick in you now that mine goes there, is a problem for me. Yeah?”

  My eyes meet his. Even though I can barely see the steel color illuminated by the street lights, they pull me in as usual. “Landon isn’t welcome to warm my bed.”

  Gray’s smile spreads as we pull into a parking lot. “Is that so? Well, Wildflower, who’s gonna be warming that bed of yours then?”

  “No one, if he doesn’t stop being a dick,” I toss out with a smirk. “I could always let Cam bunk in with me.”

  “Now that’s a helluva idea,” he says, rubbing his hands together. “Naked pillow fights. I’ll bring popcorn.”

  “Um, none of that shit in your head right now is ever happening, fuck you very much. We both enjoy Shaft way too much.”

  Waggling his eyebrows, Gray pulls me into his lap. “Say it again,” he growls against my ear.

  “We enjoy Shaft? Are you really that vain?” I murmur.

  “No, smart ass. Right before that part.”

  “Fuck you very much?”

  “Don’t forget it either,” Gray whispers, kissing my neck.

  After paying the driver, we are sitting in a tattoo parlor looking through outlines. “This is so pointless. I’ll never find something good enough to permanently ink myself.”

  “Do you trust me?” he asks me seriously.

  “Yes,” I breathe.

  “Yo!” Gray shouts as he strolls over to the counter. “I think I’ve got an idea.”

  Finally, after I watch as they go back and forth with ideas for a half hour, he starts sketching. I have an outline but am only allowed to see the size. Lying back on the table, my nerves are churning again. Gray has my hands in his, my shirt tucked up nearly to my bra. My jeans had to go completely, but Gray demanded that I be covered. So, with his hoodie as a blanket covering the essentials, I prepare to be inked.

  I watch as the tattoo artist, Kyle, cleans my skin. He discusses everything he will be doing to keep me relaxed but it only makes it worse. Just as he lifts the outline I jump. “Whoa there, just going to put the outline on, Kyle says carefully.

  “I… I need to see it,” I mutter as I reach my hand out.

  “Here,” Gray says calmly as he hands the sketch.


  As my eyes roam over it I can’t keep from smiling. It’s a daisy. It stands tall except the end of the stem that will curl along my panty line. “It’s beautiful,” I whisper as a tear slips down my cheek.

  “No,” Gray whispers. “You are.” His thumb swipes away the tear as I nod.

  Lying back on the table, I gesture to Kyle that I am ready. Gently, he places the outline as Gray rubs circles on my wrists with his thumbs. Leaning down, he kisses my lips gently. “Ready?” Gray asks; then I hear Kyle switch on his gun. All I can do is nod as my body tenses.

  The first few sticks are really the worst; though nothing is worse than the sound of the gun. That is the worst part, I think. Like the drill at the dentist. Eventually, I am numb for the most part. My eyes don’t leave Gray’s face. He drifts from watching Kyle to me. Every time he looks at me, he just smiles.

  “Why do you call me Wildflower?” I blurt without thinking.

  Gray shrugs. “Daisies are wildflowers. They can thrive even in the worst circumstances because they are stronger than the others. Probably even come out more beautiful for it. Roses are shady bitches. They look all pretty, sure, but have those thorns waiting to stick ya when you aren’t looking.”

  Closing my eyes, I let Gray’s words wash over me. I swear everything he says is a damn song lyric in the making. I am scared of what I feel for Gray already. It is nothing like what I thought I felt and still somewhat feel for Landon. It is so different. Part of me still loves Landon, even though I know he isn’t mine anymore. He probably never even was. He said that he loved me but I know that he is conflicted, so am I.

  Gray thinks that I am so strong. Am I? Did I make the choice that I thought was best by giving Landon back his ring? Am I strong by wanting a plan that I made ten years ago; or is it my weaknesses clinging to the safety of familiarity?

  Things that Cam said argue inside my head with Gray’s words. Cam is right, there is no way that a member of Shaft would want to settle down right now. Though Gray says he is nothing like Hunter. I do know that to be true mostly anyway. I’ve seen Gray talk with the groupies but never doing anything like Cunter. Gray says that he wants me; but part of me is afraid that Gray is more like Hunter. Although, I think Grayson is more like Aiden than he wants to admit. Aiden and Grayson are more balanced, more grounded than Hunter. At least that’s my opinion but even Aiden wouldn’t want to be tied to a ‘girlfriend’. He doesn’t put a label on what he has with Cam. Would Gray really want to settle down with the band getting bigger every day? I mean, Cam is afraid Aiden doesn’t want to settle; although, I have doubts there too. Why would three guys about to become larger than life want to settle down during the biggest years of their lives? Since Landon and I are over, maybe I should see where this goes? Or should I run while I have the chance?

  “Hey, all done. Where’d you go?” Gray whispers into my ear.

  “Just thinking. Can I see?” I ask as he helps me off the table to the mirror.

  The stem starts along my pelvic bone, flirting with the edge of my panties moving up to end with the bloom curving around my navel. “The petals are gray?” I ask confused turning to Gray.

  Grayson smiles, “No, they’re steel. Strong. Able to withstand anything thrown at them.” Grabbing my hand, he pulls it to his lips, kissing my palm. “Unable to be trampled or plucked, baby. Forever flawless, my Wildflower.” I stand, shocked into silence while Kyle applies the ointment then bandages me up. I slip my jeans back on but don’t button them so nothing rubs my sore flesh.

  “All paid and ready to go,” Gray announces as he drapes his hoodie over my shoulders.

  “You paid?” I ask in disbelief, “It’s my tattoo.”

  “It was my idea,” he says brushing his lips over mine softly.

  “Ready to head back to the bus?”

  I shake my head. “Mexico is nice this time of year.”

  “It is,” he agrees. Wrapping his arms around me he kisses my frowning lips. “Though we can’t avoid it forever. Hey, you’ve got me, Cam, Aiden… Hell even Henry and Cunter would kill Landon if they knew.”

  “That’s why they don’t,” I remind him. “I don’t want it to be all about me if things go to shit. It would cause too many problems. I don’t want the tour ruined, it’s too important. Let’s go before they leave us.” I kiss his lips reassuringly. After we thank Kyle again, we go in search of a cab to take us back to the bus.

  “So you goin’ to show it off?” Gray asks, stopping outside the cab door to kiss me.

  “You know it. What are we waiting for?” I tease as he jerks open the door.

  It is nearly four am by the time we make it back to the bus. Gray and I are completely wiped. My side is stinging, which is a lot better than the pain I expected to feel. All I want is my bed, with Gray wrapped around me for twelve hours or more. The sight I walk in on has me nearly heaving up the dinner I fought to keep down during a two hour tattoo session. There is Landon, on his knees stroking himself all while Tad is fucking his mouth. Tad’s eyes snap to mine, as a smile spreads across his face. “You wanna ask her to join us now, Landon? Go on then, pet. Just ask her,” Tad hisses, thrusting his hips, nearly choking Landon in the process.

  Opening my mouth, I try to say something, anything. There is nothing but shock. Landon doesn’t move. It’s like he doesn’t care.

  Chapter Twelve

  Spooners and Forkers

  “What the ever lovin’ fuck is this?” Cam’s screams echo through the bus from behind me.

  Slamming into Tad, she knocks him into the wall. “You son of a bitch! You don’t care who you hurt, do you?” Cam shouts, as her fist connects with his nose. Tad screams as blood pours from his nose. Grabbing Cam by her shoulders, Landon shoves her to the couch.

  “Get the fuck off of him,” Landon’s voice is volatile, in a way I’ve never heard before. Landon has never been one to jump into a fight, at least not for me. I stand there watching while Landon defends Tad in ways he would never have done for me. The realization shocks my system, making me see yet another thing I thought I had that I truly didn’t. I didn’t have him at my side like Tad obviously does. Just another thing that should break my heart; I wait for it to shatter but no cracks. Nothing but anger at the shit going on behind my back just hours after Landon was crying, begging for me to take him back.

  Aiden roars, grabbing Landon by his throat. “You never touch my woman, motherfucker!” Landon is gasping for breath as he claws at Aiden’s hands. Without a second thought, Aiden shoves him out the door of the bus. Landon stumbles backwards down the steps, crumbling to the pavement.

  “You stupid bitch!” Tad growls, “You broke my goddamn nose. I should call the cops.”

  I grab a wad of napkins from Aiden’s fast food bag, shoving them into his hand. “Boo-fuckin’-hoo! What exactly happened?” I ask tapping my temple with my finger. “Did anyone witness this attack?” Aiden and Gray chuckle, shaking their heads.

  “I ran into the side of Tad’s face. It really was the damnedest thing. Landon can take him to the E.R. Maybe they will give a shit about how I may have broken his nose,” Cam whines. “Bastard’s lucky his dick is still attached.”

  Laughter bubbles out of my chest, causing me to double over. The complete clusterfuck that has been the last week of my life, none of which is really funny at all, but has me laughing. I slide to the wall as the tears stream down my face, blurring my vision. “This is too much,” I hiss out, clutching my side. The adrenaline is wearing off. Now, I am feeling the burn in my side again. Tad stuffs himself back in his pants then stomps off of the bus.

  “Come on, Landon,” Tad shouts. Like the little puppet Landon is, he stands and follows behind him to the SUV Henry is helping Hunter out of. They exchange some words then I watch as they drive off without another word. That’s right, not a damn word. The man I’ve spent the last year with, the man I was planning the rest of my life around, left without saying one word to me. No explanations, no excuses, not even a fucking ‘see ya lat
er’. He just left me after walking in on that goddamn nightmare.

  “Babe, you have blood all over you,” Aiden says, looking Cam over. Turning to face Gray he declares, “That bastard is gone. Fuckin’ gone, Gray! I don’t give two shits if he’s your brother or the goddamn head of Sony Music. G-O-N-E!” he growls.

  Gray nods as he pulls at my shirt to check my bandage. “It’s fine. No one touched me,” I say shooing his hands.

  Cam’s squeals interrupt my explanation as she shoves Gray out of the way. “You sneaky whore! You didn’t tell me anything about getting a tattoo.” She yanks my hand pulling me toward her to get a closer look. “Lemme see! Lemme see!” she delights, pulling at the bandage. It makes me smile that Cam seems to bounce back so quickly. She just broke Tad’s nose, then Landon pounces on her, but here she is excited over my ink.

  “Right? Because there was a tattoo viewing portion of the orgy, turned MMA match?” I snap teasingly. Of course Cam just glares at me, arching her brow. “Okay. Okay. Let me do it!” I say, shoving her hands away to get the bandage off then pull her down the aisle toward the bunks.

  “It rocks! Holy shit!” she says, bouncing on her heels. “In Vegas we’re shopping! You can’t cover that up ever!”

  “OH Henry, why?” We both turn to see Henry helping Hunter up the steps.

  Hunter looks wrecked. His shirt is ripped, his face is pale and he’s covered in puke. “Because you’re a stupid cocky bastard.”

  “That hurts, Big Man. Like right here,” Hunter says, pushing his hand against his chest. “It hurts right here.” Walking carefully around us, Henry helps Hunter into the bathroom, cutting the cold water on full blast then shoves Hunter into the shower stall still fully clothed. “Fuck! That’s cold!” he screams. Hunter’s brown eyes roam over to mine as his smile spreads. “Wanna help me scrub up?” Hunter slurs, eyeing Cam and I leaning against the bedroom door.

  Henry rolls his eyes then slams the door making us laugh “Fine, you bitches are spooners anyway. I need a forker!” Hunter shouts through the door.