Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  Sitting down, I made hasty work of my meal before getting back to work; it was the only way to keep my focus off Mom. I worked into the wee hours of the night and decided to go for another workout. After another long visit to the gym, I showered and hit the hay.

  *****

  “What do you mean there’s no change? She’s been here for four months.” I was on the verge of hurling myself on the doctors. Of course I wanted her home, but home and in remission.

  “Mr. Benedict, I understand your frustration. While the cancer cells haven’t spread, neither have they receded.”

  “James, please sit down.” I was burning a path in the small office as I paced back and forth. I did as my mother asked and she put my hand in hers before looking back to the three doctors standing in front of us. “I’ve told my son that I’m going home. We’ll be leaving tonight. I appreciate everything you and your staff has done for me. We knew this was terminal five years ago.”

  The female doctor nodded her head. “We’ve discussed this in great length at our sessions, Mrs. Benedict. We all respect and honor your decision.” The doctors took their turn hugging my mother before leaving the room. Mother just looked like everything was fine. It couldn’t be farther from the truth.

  “Jimmy, go back to the hotel. I just need a few hours to pack and say my goodbyes. I know you need to make some phone calls.” Good ol’ mom, ordering me around like it was business as usual.

  “I’ll be back in a couple hours.”

  We left the small office and I kissed her on the cheek before she headed toward her room. As I made my way for the car, I pulled out my cell and called the pilot to put him on standby.

  *****

  It was the middle of the night when we landed at home. Dad was waiting for us and Mom was thrilled to see him. They’d always had a very loving and tender relationship. It made me ache for Cassidy. I told her I would be in touch and I hadn’t been; she would probably be furious with me. It was near dawn on Thursday morning, Halloween. I couldn’t go to her now. I was an emotional mess and I could only imagine how busy she was with work. Smith was waiting with the Rover so I climbed in and he took me back to the hotel.

  ~ CASSIDY ~

  The week had flown by with the exception of missing James. The auction was the next day and I hadn’t heard from him all week. Maybe my gut was wrong; I thought for sure that I would’ve heard from him. Besides the lingerie, flowers and the pictures in the paper, it was like he, we, didn’t exist. There was another picture in Tuesday’s paper of us chatting outside his office building on Monday morning.

  After another long day at work, I was walking into the parking garage behind my building. I had worked late to avoid the kids surely knocking on my door for Halloween. It was then that I looked up and he was there, his bike parked behind my car, and he was just sitting on the seat staring at me.

  I froze in my tracks. I couldn’t help it; the smile that spread across my face revealed how super excited I was to see him. He stood up and put his hands in his pockets with that look on his face that made him irresistible. I took a deep breath and continued walking toward him.

  “Cassidy.” He looked down to his boots, rocking nervously back and forth when I tried to scowl at him.

  I halted a couple arm lengths in front of him and crossed my arms over my chest. “James.” I wasn’t sure what to do. Never having been in a situation like that before, I was pissed at him for not calling, but so thankful he was there in front of me. He looked up at me and reached for me but I stepped back to avoid contact. “When did you get back?”

  “Early this morning.” The anger started rising in my gut.

  “I see.” He was just standing there; both of us speechless. I unlocked my car with my fob and started toward the driver’s door, attempting to walk around him.

  “Cassidy, please, help me out here.”

  Angrily I swung on him, “Help you out? I’m sorry, but what do you need help with?” He looked at me like he was surprised by my rebuttal. “You said you would call. It’s Thursday and I’m still waiting.”

  “I’m sorry. I was really busy; there’s a lot going on you don’t know about.” He did look sorry, but I was so mad.

  “A lot I don’t know. You can say that again, James. Or should I call you JB3?”

  “God dammit.” He started running his hands through his hair and began pacing. “I fucking hate that nickname.”

  “I wasn’t expecting to see my face plastered all over the papers. A little warning might’ve been nice.” The frustration was emanating from him. “I feel like any minute reporters will figure out who I am and come knocking down my door.” Ok, I was exaggerating a little and just felt bad for both of us.

  “Cassidy. I’m sorry. I couldn’t figure out if you didn’t care who I was or if you truly didn’t know.”

  “Yes and yes.” He stopped walking and looked at me like he forgot his original question to me. “I don’t give two shits who you are or what the papers have to say about you. They’re paid to tell stories. I just wish I knew about it all before you left.”

  Looking slightly relieved at my statement, he closed the distance between us. He bent down to my level and put his forehead on mine; his hands were on my hips. “I’m so sorry, baby. Forgive me?”

  Trying to ignore him, I could see he was pouting out of the corner of my eye. I couldn’t resist him; I was a junkie and he was my drug. His scent traveled through me and I was a goner and suddenly flooded with emotion. I rolled my head to the side and buried myself in his chest, wrapped my arms around his waist and squeezed him tight. “I missed you so much. Don’t do that again.”

  I felt him exhale a deep breath before he tilted my chin up and kissed me quickly. “I missed you, too, Blackbird. More than you know.” His arms circled around my waist as he stood to his full height. My arms moved to his shoulders and around his neck as I was lifted off the ground, concealing my face in his neck.

  I wasn’t sure how long we stood there just holding on to one another. This man owned me and it scared me to death. After a few minutes of figuring out our plans he decided to follow me back to my place.

  When I pulled up in my driveway I saw a petite blonde walking out my front door. What the hell? I threw my car in park, blocking the foreign car in the driveway, and jumped out of my car. “Can I help you?”

  “You must be Cassidy. Oh, James, there you are.” She walked over to James who was just getting off his bike, both of them completely ignoring me. Kissing him on the cheek, she said, “Everything is all set. I thought I had another day.” She gave him a scolding look. “You’re lucky I like you.” Playfully, she swatted his shoulder before I interrupted, ready to stake my claim.

  “I’m sorry, but who the hell are you and what were you doing in my house?” She looked at me like I was the rudest person she’d met and before she could speak James interjected.

  “Cassidy, this is Delaney. She’s an interior designer and a friend.” Delaney was scrolling through her phone like we didn’t exist.

  “That’s nice, but that doesn’t explain why she was in my house.” That got her attention. James looked pleased with himself and Delaney looked offended.

  Before I could say anymore, he thanked Delaney again and walked her to her car, holding her door for her before making his way back to me. “Are you going to let her leave or do I have to move your car for you?” He was all smiles.

  I grunted loudly, got in my car and moved up far enough for her to pull out of my driveway. Once she had left me enough room I pulled into the drive, parked and got out. “What’s going on, James?” I was beyond annoyed and he could tell.

  “It’s all good. Don’t worry. I didn’t redecorate the whole place, just made a few modifications.” He was looking haughty as he ushered me through the door.

  “It doesn’t need any modifications.” He frowned down at me and I gave up the banter as we entered my house, too busy trying to see what the modifications were.

  “Are you
hungry?”

  “Dammit, James. If you don’t tell me…” He started laughing before pulling me up the stairs behind him.

  We reached my room and I walked in and immediately stopped in my tracks. My room had been completely transformed and smack in the middle was a brand new bed, a big four poster bed. The bedding was an exact replica of the bedding from his hotel, specifically the suite I stayed in. I was utterly speechless.

  Walking to the bed, I took in the headboard. It appeared to be wrought iron, but was painted ivory with a gorgeous trellis design. I ran my hands over the luxurious comforter while still taking in all the metalwork. This was a bed you could tie someone to. The faint smell of paint lingered in the air and I realized there was a new color donning the walls. There were also some other new pieces of furniture. The bed had to be king sized. I didn’t think a bed that size would fit in there, but it did.

  “How?”

  “Do you like it?” He was grinning from ear to ear, just watching me take it all in.

  “Seriously. It’s too much, James.” I was lost for words. How did he do this? “How? She did this in like 10 hours?”

  “Your spare key. I’ve had Delaney, Smith and Sabrina pulling strings since Monday to get it done. I’ll be lucky if Delaney works for me again, though I compensated her well for her time.” Looking at me like he was waiting for my approval I just shook my head. “Please tell me you were serious about wanting a bed for your birthday.”

  I started laughing. “James, if I thought you were really going to give me anything I wanted I may have asked for a million dollars or maybe a Ford Mustang GT500.” The look on his face said he could do that, too. He started to speak when I motioned my fingers across my lips telling him to zip it. “It’s amazing, you’re amazing, and I’m suddenly ready for bed.” I winked at him and he grabbed my wrist before tackling me and throwing me on the bed.

  Straddling my hips, he had my arms pinned above my head and he quickly looked very serious. “Do you trust me, Cassidy?” I let a chuckle slip before realizing that given the look on his face, he wasn’t joking anymore. I simply nodded.

  He started unbuttoning my shirt before removing it from me. He was silent and meticulous in his task. Once it was off he placed a hand just above my breast bone and slowly trailed it down to my navel as my breathing quickened. He discarded my heels and skirt next. Groaning, he traced the lace lining on the hips of the new panties I was wearing; ones he had purchased for me. My hips lifted, seeking more of his touch.

  “In due time, baby.” He inched his way back up my body before whispering to me, “Roll over.”

  Once I was on my stomach, he began trailing feather light kisses down and across my back. I couldn’t help but move my shoulders at the sensation.

  “Don’t move.”

  I felt the weight of his body leave the bed and heard the shuffling of clothes hitting the floor followed by more movement. His weight returned to the bed and I sighed as I felt the heat of his naked chest against my back.

  Rolling to my side he whispered in my ear, “Get on your knees.”

  I obeyed without a second thought. Once I was on my knees, I turned my head to look at him and my sight was taken from me. The feel of a cool satin blindfold covered my eyes. “Oh.”

  “Shhh, you’re safe.” My nipples immediately hardened as I felt the cool air dance across my breasts after he removed my bra. Running a finger over my ribcage and tattoo, he caused my breath to catch. He then gently took my wrists and placed my hands high up on the headboard.

  He stood behind me when I felt him reach around me, and I felt something soft and smooth encircle my wrists. I should’ve felt panicked, but I was surprisingly calm and wet. James tied me to the headboard; I knew this when I felt him tug on my binds. Slowly, he ran his hands down my arms, grazing my breasts as he continued down to my waist, past my hips and down to my knees. I couldn’t contain the shivers that passed over me.

  His hands made their way up to the waistband of my panties and began to slip inside as I stiffened. “Shit.” I said it louder than I anticipated and I felt him still.

  “What’s wrong, Cassidy?” His hands were on my waist as his breath hit my cheek.

  “I, um, well.” This was not the conversation I wanted to be having.

  “What is it, baby? I’m not going to hurt you.” His voice was calming and reassuring.

  “It’s that time of the month.” I was mortified.

  “Your what?”

  “For God sakes, James, I’m on my period.” He grew silent. “I should be done later today or tomorrow.”

  “It’s fine. I can work around that. These can stay on, for now.” He circled my ass with his palms through my underwear. “Now, relax.” He started caressing my back again and the warmth seeped back into me. “Do you know what a safe word is?”

  Goose bumps washed like a wave over my body. I had fantasized about this for so long, if only to experience it once, owning a collection of books on my e-reader, some fiction and some not. I was completely enraptured with kink, BDSM and the Dom/sub relationship, believing that I myself might have had a bit of ‘sub’ in me. But how did one go about finding those things out? I hadn’t ever considered it would have ever happened for me. I nodded my head.

  He grabbed my hair and pulled my head back. “How do you know?” His breath hit my cheek and I couldn’t quite ascertain if he was angry or enthralled.

  Stuttering before I could properly put the words together, I explained to him that I had a collection of books on the topic. I told him about my curiosity and I swear I felt his lips curl into a smile against my neck.

  “Have you ever been whipped, Cassidy?” I shook my head no. “Spanked?” I gave the same answer. “Have you ever been tied up?” Again, same answer. “Do you fantasize about it, Cassidy? You can tell me.” This time I hesitantly whispered my reply and nodded my head. “I’m honored to be your first and your teacher. Are you prepared to be my student?” His hot breath was blowing in my ear again and it sent pools of warmth between my thighs.

  I trembled again as his hands sent ripples of pleasure all over my naked flesh. “Yes, only you.”

  “Good girl. Only with me. Do you have a safe word? If not, I can give you one.” He tugged on my hair again.

  “Rainbow.” My breath was coming fast as he took my ear in his mouth.

  “Only with me.”

  My body felt his sudden absence and I heard him moving around the room again. Soon the enchanting tones of Enigma were filling the air. I wanted to laugh at his choice, but their music was quite hypnotizing. His hands were gathering my hair as he pulled it back, braided it and tied it off once he joined me back on the bed.

  “I’ve waited for this day. I knew it since that first night I saw you. My imagination didn’t do you justice.” He kissed my shoulder and then he was gone again. I wasn’t quite sure what he was referring to when he said he ‘knew it’.

  My senses were in hyper drive as I worked on getting my breathing under control. The faint click of a lighter told me he was lighting candles and his footsteps picked up again. I heard him place some things on the nightstand; I could only begin to imagine what those items were. My ears became sensitive and I could hear the occasional car drive down the road and kids giggling in the distance. I pulled my focus back to the music and was startled back to attention when I heard a piercing ‘smack’ echo through the air. I inhaled sharply, wondering what that smack was—a paddle, crop, or whip—I had no idea, and in turn grasped the headboard as I felt something cool and hard run up the insole of my foot.

  “Relax. Don’t move. You must obey me in all things, Cassidy.”

  It was an order, not a request, and when my breathing slowed the sensation continued up my calf and to my thigh. He ran it to my inner thigh and across the center of my panties as I moaned trying to get closer. Smack.

  “Be still, Cassidy.” I felt his hot hand soothing the spot on my thigh he had just whipped. It took every fiber of my being to
hold still. My entire thigh was tingling with pain and pleasure and the sensation was spreading out from the point of contact. “You’re coloring is exceptional.” His voice was husky and low and had me panting. “I want you to focus on your breathing, understood?” I confirmed with a nod.

  The caress from his tool of choice began again. He started at the insole of my other foot and worked his way up my leg till he was rubbing my lips through my panties. I was convinced he must be able to see me pulsing through them. Moaning impatiently, he moved and began circling my buttocks before moving up my spine. It was sweet torture and I knew it had only just begun. His weight shifted, his hand cupping my chin, pulling up and back. My cheek was placed against the warmth of his abdomen and I was aware of his erection just below before feeling the cool tip of his device slide over the top of my breasts. I shivered in response and heard his growl above me as my nipples puckered.

  The smack that came to the back of my thigh was welcome misery. I groaned, reveling in the wonderful sensations it sent vibrating through me. “Does it feel good, Cassidy?”

  “Yes.” My voice was barely audible.

  “I know it does. Spread your legs wider.”

  I did his bidding and felt the burn begin in my thighs from kneeling in that position. The light caress of a feather started its torturous journey across my abdomen. I wanted nothing more than to clamp my legs together. The feather began gliding along my inner thighs and the drumming in my core was more intense. His hot breath weaved its way from below my ear, down and across my shoulder and then he repeated the action on my other shoulder. Then it was with cool breath he played his game and then again with his flaming tongue. He was driving me mad, the feather still between my thighs and grazing my panties.

  His torture was sweet and masterful as I began to shake. My body was tensing and relaxing over and over as my impending orgasm rose on the horizon. Just from touch, I had never experienced anything so intense like that. His fingers were tip-toeing their way up my spine to the base of my neck before he wrapped my braid around his hand and pulled me back again. My scalp was tingling, and the warmth emanating from him along with his scent was intoxicating.