Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  “Yes, ma’am. The one in a couple of months is my next stop.”

  “Awesome.” The ladies waved goodbye as they made their way back toward the main lodge door, leaving her in silence.

  Nina came out of her office with a big smile on her face. “You made their day.”

  “Thanks but it was more like the other way around. They made mine. I really needed the boost to my morale.”

  “Oh?” she asked, taking one of the empty seats.

  “I’ve just been really down in the dumps lately, questioning my writing.”

  “You’re a fabulous writer, Mesa. I don’t see why you’re questioning yourself. I got two of your books yesterday after you were here and I haven’t been able to put them down since I started reading them. My husband finally forced me to turn off the lights last night at four in the morning.”

  Mesa laughed. “Thank you. That’s the best compliment a writer can get.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  She looked at Nina with a frown. “Can I ask you a couple of questions about the ranch? You know, from a woman’s perceptive?”

  “Certainly.”

  For the next hour, Mesa picked Nina’s brain for information on the ranch life, raising nine boys and life in general with a bunch of men.

  “I need to ask you a couple more questions about the ranch.”

  “All right.”

  “First of all, do you believe in ghosts?”

  “Yes, I do. We have a few on the ranch.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. The main lodge used to be a bordello. That’s the reason for its size. It’s been added onto over the years, but it used to be a bar and whore house. The upstairs bedrooms were where the women took their men.” She laughed. “Of course, we’ve cleaned them up since then.”

  “Wow.”

  “It has a very interesting history.”

  “What kinds of ghosts are here?”

  “A cowboy. A couple who visit upstairs. A saloon girl and a few kids who run the ranch. You can hear them giggling outside sometimes.”

  “You have so many!”

  “It’s been a lively place for a long time.” She tilted her head to the side. “Why so many questions? Have you seen them?”

  “I think so.” She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “A cowboy at least. Someone has knocked on my door twice now in the middle of the night. I’ve also heard arguing in the next room.”

  “The cowboy you’ve seen is a regular around here. The best we can figure is he used to work the ranch many years ago as a wrangler and never left. We haven’t been able to pinpoint his identity exactly.”

  “And the fighting couple?”

  “Probably one of the cowboys and his girl fighting in the room up there.”

  “It sounds like he slaps her.”

  “Yep. That’s them. They get kind of noisy sometimes. If you bang on the wall and tell them to knock it off, it goes away. Don’t worry about the knocking. If there were an emergency, we would shout through the door. We haven’t been able to figure it out yet, but it happens frequently.”

  “Kind of creepy, don’t you think?”

  “If it bothers you, I can move you to one of the outside cabins. They aren’t haunted.”

  “I’m okay, but don’t be surprised if your ghosts end up in one of my books.”

  Nina laughed. “I would love it. They are characters for sure. Have you seen the saloon girl?”

  “No. Just the cowboy. Last night when I came back from Joel’s, he…” Oh shit.

  Nina patted her hand and said, “Don’t worry about it, Mesa. I heard you come in last night and the roar of Joel’s truck out in the yard. I looked out the window as he tore out of here. His truck has a distinctive sound.”

  Mesa felt the heat of a blush rushing into her cheeks. Her heart pounded in her ears as she sought to apologize for breaking the rules. “I’m sorry, Nina. I know you have a strict rule about the guys and guests, but…”

  “It’s fine, honey. If you and Joel are attracted to each other, it’s okay. I just don’t want the boy’s going through guests on a regular basis, like water down the stream. You know how men are.”

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Did y’all have a fight last night? I thought I heard the truck door slam.”

  “A little bit.”

  “Would you like to talk about it?”

  She blew out a breath. Talking to his mother about problems with Joel didn’t seem like a good idea, but she really needed someone to talk to. She wasn’t really close to her siblings or her mother, but Nina seemed to understand these kinds of things. It didn’t take long at all for the entire story to spill from her lips. Nina murmured between her sentences in a soothing voice meant to calm her. “It’ll be all right, honey. He’s a man. Men tend to get pigheaded sometimes and trust me, I’ve seen it more than I care to with my boys. They take after their father that way.”

  Mesa laughed. She could totally see the stubbornness in Nina too, but she didn’t want to insult her hostess. “Thank you for talking with me.”

  “Let me give you a little piece of advice. Avoid Joel for the day. You’re going to be here for a few more days. You’ll have plenty of time to talk to him. Go for a walk. Write. Read for your own pleasure for a change. I bet you don’t read very often without worrying about your own books.”

  “True.”

  “I saw the way he touched you on his way out the door. He’s a very possessive guy when it comes to women. It was his way of marking you, to let his brothers know you’re taken.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yes, ma’am.” Nina nodded with a smile. “Y’all are cute together. I haven’t seen him act this way toward a woman before.”

  “I’m so not his type though.”

  “Sure you are! He’s never been into skinny women. You’re just his type.” She patted Mesa’s hand and then stood. “I’ve got some work to do. You enjoy your day and don’t worry about Joel. He’ll come find you either later tonight after supper or tomorrow.”

  “Thank you, Nina. You’ve been a huge help.”

  “You’re welcome, honey. I’ve enjoyed having you here.”

  “Oh. I’ll get your dress and shoes back to you later this afternoon. Would it be okay if I did some laundry? I didn’t bring very many clothes with me on this trip and I’m about out of clean underwear.”

  “Of course. You know where the laundry facilities are. Use whatever you need. There is soap and dryer sheets on the shelf.”

  “You’ve been such a great hostess. You can bet I’ll be singing your praises and those of the ranch on every social network I’m on when I get home.”

  “Word of mouth is the best advertising we can ask for. Thank you.” She nodded again before she headed back for her office, leaving Mesa to sit alone in front of the fireplace contemplating her thoughts.

  Maybe Nina is right. I should avoid Joel until he comes looking for me. She bit her lip as trepidation rush through her. But what if he doesn’t come looking? I’ll feel like a total fool.

  The smile he gave her earlier brought back memories of their night together. His hands on her flesh. His lips taking what he wanted. His body covering hers as he took her to heights of ecstasy she’d never felt before. Did he do the same thing with every woman he made love to? She shook her head. Surely it was that way with any man who knew how to make love to a woman, right?

  Remember your ex, her head said before she could think any further. He couldn’t fuck if he tried. All he knew how to do was stick it in, pump a few times and flop down on top of her. Then he actually had the nerve to ask if it was good for her. Well nope, it wasn’t. It sucked!

  Now with Joel, wow!

  “Okay, enough thoughts of Joel. I’ve got some writing to do.”

  *****

  Joel wound his horse around a boulder keeping an eye out for snakes as he checked the fence for breaks and the cattle for strays. His thoughts weren’t on his job though. He want
ed to see Mesa. He knew he’d pissed her off last night with his casual remark about their lovemaking, but he really didn’t want to give her the impression it might turn into something more than a quick fuck. Hell, she didn’t even live in Texas!

  “Yo, Joel!”

  He pulled on Jet’s reins as Jeremiah rode up on his horse.

  “What are you doing out here?”

  “I came to find you. Mom was looking for you earlier.”

  “Oh great.”

  “Yeah. I’m sure it’s something about you coming home with Mesa last night.”

  “What the fuck? Does everyone know?”

  “Of course they do, dumbass. One, you brought her home in your truck with its loud-assed muffler and two, she’s staying in the main lodge. Everyone in the place probably heard you bring her home.”

  Joel tipped his head back on his shoulders and sighed. Great. Everyone in the family knew they’d been together without him or her saying a damned word. His mom probably wanted to kill him. “I guess I better go find her.”

  “Yeah, I would say so. You know how she is. Mom’s gonna rip you a new asshole, buddy.”

  “Great. Thanks for the support, Jeremiah.”

  “You’re welcome, bro.”

  “Asswipe.”

  Joel kicked his horse into a slow gallop headed for the barn. Despite the probable indigestion, he wanted this confrontation with his mother over with before supper. Maybe I can find Mesa while I’m at the house.

  Several minutes later, he rounded the barn for the corral as Jeff came out of the tack room. “Joel? What are you doin’ back from ridin’ fences?”

  “Mom wanted to talk to me if it’s any of your business.”

  “Everything on this ranch is my business. The horses, the cattle, where the hands are…everything.”

  “I’m not your damned employee, Jeff. What I do is none of your concern no matter whether you think you’re in charge or not.” He swung down from the saddle, and then began unbuckling the straps. “Besides, what the hell are you doin’ in the barn this time of day? Don’t you have somethin’ to keep you busy besides the barn?”

  “I’m checking the feed stock, fucktard.”

  “Well get busy then, asshole. I’ve got my own worries.”

  “Oh? Like fuckin’ one of the guests?”

  “Blow it out your ass, brother. What I do is none of your damned business. How many times do I have to tell you?”

  “One day Dad won’t be here and everything will fall on me. I’m not doing anythin’ more than what will be expected of me when the time comes.”

  “Dad isn’t going anywhere for a long time, Jeff, so back off. I’ll talk to Mom about me and Mesa.”

  “Keep your hands off the guests.”

  He pushed against Jeff’s chest. “Make me. I can fuck whomever I want to and you can’t say a damned thing.”

  “The hell I can’t.”

  “Enough you two!” shouted his father. “Jeff back off.”

  “What?”

  “I said back off. What happens on this ranch is mine and your mother’s concern. We will deal with your brothers. Not you.”

  “But Dad…”

  “But nothing. This is between me, your mother, and Joel.”

  Joel smirked, earning a growl from his brother as he balled his fists at his sides. He could tell Jeff wanted to kick his ass. Let him try. Jeff might be about the same size as him, but he had a little more bulk to his frame, whereas his brother wasn’t quite so muscular.

  “In the house, Joel.”

  “I’m not done with you, Joel,” Jeff snarled.

  “Fuck you.”

  “I said in the house,” his father snapped, pointing to the main lodge.

  As Joel’s steps took him toward the lodge, he whistled knowing his father stayed back for a moment to reprimand his eldest brother. Jeff really needed to get laid or something. The guy had a serious stick up his ass the size of a fence post.

  He walked inside, relishing the cool interior. The rain hadn’t let up all day and he was soaked to the bone. A nice dry change of clothes would be good but he’d have to make a trip back to his place to get them.

  “Joel?”

  “Yeah, Ma.”

  “I’m in the office.”

  “Be right there.”

  He dragged his feet as he released a heavy sigh. Twenty eight years old, and that tone still sent chills down his spine. With a heavy sigh, he shuffled his feet toward his mother’s domain.

  “Have a seat,” she said the minute he stood in the doorway. “We need to talk.”

  “Are you gonna wait for Dad?” he asked, sliding into the chair across from her desk. He hadn’t felt so put on the spot like this in several years. Not since she’d found out he’d been visiting their neighbor’s daughter.

  “Your father will be along shortly, I’m sure. But we’ve already discussed this at length before I went looking for you earlier.”

  “So what’s up?”

  “It’s you and Mesa, son.”

  “What about us?”

  “So there is an us?”

  “Well…”

  “No hemhawin’ about it. I know you were together last night. I saw her come in and heard you peel out of the driveway, digging up about three quarters of the gravel we laid this summer.”

  “Sorry, Ma.”

  “Joel, honey. I’m not mad at you. I like Mesa. I think she’s a wonderful girl. The reason for this talk isn’t to chew you out for bein’ with her. It’s so you don’t hurt her.”

  “I don’t plan to hurt her, Ma. We’re just havin’ a bit of fun while she’s here.”

  “That’s exactly why I made the rule of you boys not pursing guests.” She stood up and paced the room like a cage animal. “I don’t want this place getting a reputation for the wild Young boys taking all the single guests to bed.”

  “It’s not like that. Mesa understands.”

  “Does she? I think she’s a nice girl who’s been swept off her feet by a handsome cowboy. She doesn’t come across as a worldly type woman. She’s not one for casual relationships, Joel. What if she does develop feelings for you?”

  “Aren’t you the least bit worried about me?”

  “You’re a lover, son, not a fighter although you wouldn’t believe it the way you and Jeff were ready to go toe to toe in the barn a few moments ago,” his father said, coming into the room.

  “And the way you and Joshua went at it the night before last.”

  “It doesn’t matter. Aren’t we here to discuss me and Mesa?”

  “Yes we are. I want to you stay away from her, Joel,” his mother said. “I’m afraid she’s gonna get hurt.”

  “I don’t want to hurt her, Ma. She’s a friend.”

  “A friend with benefits?” his dad asked.

  Joel pulled off his Stetson, raking his fingers through his hair. “Hell, I don’t know what she is. We had fun together. Where it goes from here, I’m not sure. She doesn’t even live here. She lives in Los Angeles, for God’s sake!”

  “What if she moved here?”

  “She’s not moving here.”

  “What if she did?”

  Joel got up and paced the room now. “I don’t know, Ma. I like her a lot. We have a lot in common and she’s a wildcat between the sheets, but is there something else there? I don’t know.”

  “Do you want to find out?”

  “Sure I would.”

  “Then ask her to stay.”

  “What? You can’t be serious. She doesn’t live here. I told you, she lives in California.”

  “I understand she lives somewhere else, but she’s also a writer who has the ability to be wherever she wants because she’s self-employed.”

  “You’ve done your homework, Ma.”

  “Thank you, Joel. I like to know about our guests. We had a nice conversation earlier today.”

  “You did?”

  “Yeah and I think, for the record, she likes you a lot, but she’s conf
used by your actions. You marked her earlier.”

  He hoped his mother and father understood the confused looked on his face because he didn’t have a clue what she meant. “Marked?”

  “You ran your fingers along her shoulder on your way out of the lodge this morning. You marked her in front of your brothers, the other males in the room, as your own.”

  “You’ve read too much Native American History, Ma.”

  “So what if I have?” She stopped in front of him. “Honey, I want you happy. If Mesa makes you happy then be my guest, but I like her too and if you hurt that girl, I’m going to kick your ass.”

  Chapter Nine

  The window she stared out of overlooked the back of the lodge house. Her laptop sat in front of her, the cursor blinking mockingly. She had been at it for hours now, the story flowing so rapidly, she could hardly type fast enough. Now, she looked out the window, her mind almost blank.

  She could see the comings and goings of several of the boys from her window, but she never saw Joel. With her state of mind, it might be a good thing she didn’t. She wanted to get some words on virtual paper before supper.

  After several hours of typing, she went back to read what she wrote, realizing the entire book was her trip to the ranch, meeting Joel, and their subsequent love making the night before. Reading it on the screen made her realize how hot the whole night had been and how much she wanted it to happen again.

  A heavy sigh rushed from between her lips as she tipped her head back on her shoulders. The cowboy in her book even sounded like Joel.

  Joel.

  What the hell was she going to do about him? His mother said to avoid him today, which she’d done with regret. She needed to talk to him. Wanted to see him. Would die to taste him.

  “Enough. We need to write.”

  She glanced at the screen, realizing the story stood where her own life stopped at the moment. What to do from here?

  The supper bell clanged downstairs. She stood, stretching her back until it popped, relieving some of the pressure at her spine from sitting without moving in the hardback chair. Her stomach rumbled reminding her she’d missed lunch. Even though she’d heard the bell earlier, the book wouldn’t release her long enough to go eat. Now, she regretted not going even though it would have meant seeing Joel.