Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  Ah, the life of a writer. Caffeine and snacks at the desk. She couldn’t remember how many times those things had been her sustenance for days on end while she fought to finish a book before the deadline.

  The rumbled of voices downstairs reminded her of supper.

  “Well, I can’t avoid him for the meal unless I sit somewhere else.”

  She grabbed her key, opened the door, and shut it before heading down the stairs to join everyone for the evening meal.

  Laughter met her ears as she reached the bottom stair and looked out into the expanse of the dining room. The rain had stopped, finally allowing the sun to come out later in the afternoon, lightening everyone’s mood. Several women sat at one table laughing and passing around a bottle of wine. They didn’t serve liquor at the ranch, but you were welcome to bring your own.

  The family sat at their regular table and several of them called out when they noticed her standing in the entryway. She waved before she got in line to get her dinner plate.

  Where to sit. Where to sit. She glanced around hoping to find the women from earlier in the group, but no one looked familiar. The book club must have left right after her chat with them. Too bad. She would have enjoyed talking books with them a little longer.

  Warm breath tickled her ear, sending goose bumps down her arms. Joel. “No escape, little bird. You’ve been avoiding me.”

  “No I haven’t. I’ve been writing.” Well, both were the truth. She had been writing, but also avoiding him like his mother suggested.

  “Good. I’m glad you’ve been busy. I’ve missed you today. It was kind of lonely riding by myself. I thought you were going to ride with me.”

  She swallowed hard. “I have to strike while the iron is hot.”

  “Oh, the iron is hot, mi’lady.”

  “I thought you didn’t want to see me.”

  “I never said I didn’t want to see you and now that my whole family knows about us, we don’t have to keep it a secret.”

  “Your whole damned family!” Everyone turned to look at them as embarrassment flushed her cheeks with heat. “Great. Just fucking fabulous,” she grumbled under her breath.

  “Sorry, darlin’, but apparently they all heard you come in last night and me peel out of the driveway.”

  The young woman dishing up the roast beef winked as she placed the meat on her plate. The next woman smiled while she put mashed potatoes next to the meat. Just fucking great. Everyone does know about Joel bringing me back to the ranch. They couldn’t know we slept together, but they are all assuming as much from their behavior.

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “We need to, Mesa. It’s important.”

  “Leave me alone, Joel. I’m here for research and to write, not hook up with a hot-ass cowboy for a few nights.”

  “Hot-ass?”

  She exhaled sharply, rolled her eyes and headed toward the opposite end of the dining room. One of the tables near the door was empty so she took it. She didn’t want company tonight anyway. The moment she sat down, the bench across from her scraped the floor as Joel took the seat on the other side.

  “Why aren’t you eating at the family table?”

  “Because I want to talk to you.”

  “I thought we’d said everything there needed saying. You didn’t want your family to know about us. Well, we apparently took care of that last night. There isn’t any need to further our association. You got what you wanted. A lonely, plump, not so attractive woman to fall into bed with you. You’ve marked your bedpost, I’m sure. One more in the sack for Joel. Great. Good for you. You can chalk it up to experience because I’m done.”

  “Why are you so upset?”

  “Because I don’t like being used, Joel, and I feel like you did nothing more than use me.”

  “Didn’t you use me a little, too? I mean, we had a good time last night. Obviously, you needed me and I needed you. We both got what we wanted.”

  “We both got…you seriously think that?”

  “Yeah.”

  Anger rushed through her so fast her head began to feel funny. Like she’d been swimming and stayed under too long. Her ears burned as she glanced down at the plate in front of her. Not wanting to ruin her own dinner, she grabbed the edge of his plate and unceremoniously dumped the contents of his dinner into his lap.

  She grabbed her own plate and walked over to a table where a couple sat alone talking quietly. Let him stew.

  Watching from the corner of her eye, she saw him slowly scrap the roast beef, gravy and mashed potatoes from his lap back on to the plate. Once his lap was sufficiently cleaned off, he dumped it into the washbasin where the dirty plates go, and stomped out of the lodge, slamming the door behind him.

  That should teach him not to mess with me.

  Mesa slowly put the spoon in her mouth, avoiding eye contact with any of his family. The whole dining room finally resumed talking after the blow up, but they seemed quiet and subdued. Well, it didn’t matter whether their whole affair made the rounds of the entire ranch. She wasn’t staying there much longer anyway. Soon she would be home, in her own bed, curled with up her cat and her half-gallon of chocolate chip ice cream eating her cares away. The situation would be a distant memory just like them making love. Would she forget? She hoped, in time.

  Several minutes later, Joel returned in clean clothes but he didn’t get another plate of food. He walked straight up behind her, grabbed her hand, and forced her to her feet.

  “What the hell are you doing?”

  “We’re having this out, right now.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.”

  “Yes, you are.”

  He tugged her along, practically dragging her up the stairs to her room. “Key.” She stubbornly narrowed her eyes. “Give me the key, Mesa, or I’ll strip you bare until I find it, right here in the hall.”

  “Fine,” she growled, pulling it from her front jean pocket and handing it to him. “I don’t want you in my room.”

  “Too fuckin’ bad, baby doll, because I intend to make you listen to me.”

  He opened the door and literally pushed her inside before he slammed it closed. “Strip.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I said strip. Do it now.”

  “I’m not taking my clothes—”

  He grabbed her T-shirt and pulled it over her head. “I’ll do it for you then.”

  “What the hell, Joel!”

  “Take it off.”

  “No.”

  “Fine.” He grabbed her pants, popped the button and shoved them down around her ankles so fast, she didn’t know what hit her.

  Within seconds, she stood in nothing but her bra and panties. Desire pooled in her belly. How fucking sick is that! “All right. You have me in nothing but my bra and underwear. I’m not stripping down to nothing. Take it or leave it.”

  “All right. You can keep them unless you start arguing with me again. If you do, I’m taking those too.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “Only if you ask nicely.”

  “You son of a bitch. Why can’t you just leave me alone? I don’t want anything more to do with you. You’re a user, Joel, and I don’t want to be part of your game anymore.”

  “Stop. Just stop, Mesa. Listen to yourself? Do you hear what you’re saying?”

  Tears rolled down her cheeks unchecked. She didn’t want to cry but she didn’t have a choice. His cavalier attitude hurt her heart. When did she start caring about this rotten asshole? “I hate you.”

  “No you don’t,” he whispered, stopping in front of her to wipe the tears from her cheeks. “That’s our problem. Neither of us hates the other, but we don’t know what else to call it.” He kissed her cheeks before he brushed his lips against hers. “God, you taste like Heaven and Hell wrapped up in a single package. What am I gonna do with you, darlin’?”

  He kissed her again, pushing his tongue into her mouth tentatively like he was waiting for her to give into he
r feelings and return the kiss. Why am I giving into this, him? God, I hate myself for wanting him.

  She grabbed fistfuls of the front of his shirt and pulled the edges apart, buttons pinged off each surface they touched in their flight across the room. He lifted his head, staring down into her eyes, his crystal clear blue eyes bright with lust.

  “That’s it, Mesa. Take what you want.” He pulled at his belt buckle, unhooking it from the loops as she worked his shirt from the waistband of his jeans.

  His jeans and boxers hit the floor while he toed out of his boots. She worked frantically at the clasp of her bra until it came free. The next second her panties hit the floor at their feet and he grabbed her around the waist to fling her onto the bed.

  “I’m gonna fuck you hard.”

  “Too much talking.” She pressed her mouth against his as she ground her pelvis against his hard flesh. “Tell me you brought a condom.”

  “In my wallet. Let me get it.”

  He left her side for a moment, taking his heat with him while he searched his wallet for the protection they both needed.

  “How long has that one been in there?”

  “Quite a while actually,” he said sliding the latex over his engorged cock.

  “I wanted to taste you.”

  “Later. I need to be inside you.”

  She closed her eyes and sighed a happy sigh when he positioned his cock at her opening and slowly slid deep into her pussy.

  “Fuck, you feel fantastic.”

  “Deeper, Joel. Please.”

  She pulled her legs up to her chest, opening herself for his deep thrust. He didn’t disappoint as he slammed his pelvis against hers, pushing everything he had inside her much deeper than he’d been before. Each thrust pushed her across the bed until he grabbed her hips and held her still.

  “Come for me, Mesa. Squeeze me until I explode. I wanna feel your heat.”

  With a small thought in her brain, she grabbed the pillow from the bed and put it over her face as she screamed his name at the top of her lungs.

  Within seconds, he growled her name while he shot every bit of his cum into the end of the condom.

  He laid his head on her chest as the air sawed in and out of his lungs in a deep pant.

  “Was that makeup sex?” she asked with a giggle.

  He chuckled a dry laugh before he peeked up at her through his gorgeous lashes. “I guess you could call it makeup sex. After all, we were having a pretty big fight.” He kissed her quickly. “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too.”

  He slipped out of her and disposed of the condom in the small trashcan near the bathroom door. “I hope everyone in the dining room didn’t hear us.”

  “I tried to be quiet but it’s kind of hard with you.”

  He grinned a silly grin. “I’m glad I make you lose all control.”

  “Yes, you do cowboy.” She frowned.

  “What’s the frown for?”

  “What are we gonna do, Joel? This can’t possibly work into anything beyond a few fun-filled days before I go back to California.”

  “Let’s take it slow. Okay? I don’t know what’s goin’ on here either, but I like you a lot, Mesa, and I don’t like fighting with you. We have a good time together.”

  “All right. Slow. Got it.”

  “Would you show me what you’ve written today?”

  “No!”

  “Why not?”

  She chewed her lip. There wasn’t any way she could show Joel her new book since it paralleled what had happened to her on the ranch. “I never let anyone but my editor read my stuff until it’s been published.”

  “But I want to read it.”

  “Not until it’s done. I don’t know what the ending is going to be yet and I don’t want to spoil it until I get there. I only wrote about five thousand words today so the whole plot has a long way to go development-wise before it’s done. I never know how they are going to turn out until I’m finished. And even then there’s times when I change my mind about parts.”

  “All right, all right. I won’t look then.”

  She crawled up on the bed to lay her head on the pillow. He took the spot next to her and gathered her into his arms. He kissed her hair while his hand did a slow crawl from her shoulder to her wrist.

  “I love holding you like this.”

  “You just want me naked next to you.”

  His cock stirred, taking on a life of its own. “Well, yes. I love you naked any way I can get you.”

  “Typical man.”

  A knock sounded on the door. “Are you two okay in there?”

  “Yeah, Ma. There’s no blood. We’re fine.”

  “Good. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “Night, Ma.”

  “Night, Nina.” She snuggled down closer to his chest. “Kind of awkward, don’t you think?”

  “Nah. I think my mom was trying to get us together like this.”

  “Why? She knows I don’t live here. It’s not like this could possibly develop into a relationship.”

  “It can’t?”

  “No. I have my life in Los Angeles. You have your life here. We are two very different people, Joel.”

  “She’s playing matchmaker again. She told me to stay away from you earlier.”

  Mesa laughed. “She told me the same thing this morning. I should avoid you today.”

  “Sneaky woman, my mother.”

  “Yep. She knew by telling us to stay away from each other, it would force a blowup and eventually we would have to talk. Thus, leading to this.”

  “Well, she might not have thought it through to this end, but she definitely had it right about staying away from each other. I can’t.”

  She rubbed her face against his chest, loving the feel of the springy hair beneath her cheek. “Me either. You’re like a drug. I can’t get enough.”

  “I say we let it go where it may. If this is supposed to be something besides a short term thing, it will work itself out.”

  She pressed her lips together, thinking about the situation. Could she walk away after her week here was over without regrets? Probably not, but she had to. Her life in Los Angeles came first. She was a writer after all. A semi-famous author who had a full, rewarding life in the big city. She liked having stores around the corner. She enjoyed having the nightlife and clubs to visit if she so chose to, not that she was much of a nightlife person, but the option was there.

  Here you would have the abundance of ranch life to jumpstart your muse. You would have the quiet, the horses, the cowboys, and the little bar in Bandera where you could dance the night away in the arms of one hot cowboy.

  But what if things with Joel didn’t work out? What if she gave up her life in Los Angeles, moved here to be with him, and they broke up after a time?

  I could always move back to Los Angeles at any time.

  “You aren’t helping.”

  “Huh?” he asked sleepily when she glanced up at his face. His eyes were closed and his breathing had slowed into slumber. “Did you say something?”

  “No. Go to sleep, big guy.”

  Soft snores reached her ears moments later as she snuggled back against his chest. There wouldn’t be any use trying to make a decision like this on a whim. Like he said, let’s take it slow and see where things go. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. She should be able to make a decision by the time her week at the ranch went by.

  Now, if she could just keep her heart from being the deciding factor in the whole thing, she might be able to make an intelligent decision.

  Chapter Ten

  Sunlight streamed through the window, dragging her from her dreams. Dreams of Joel danced behind her eyelids, keeping her from fully awakening to the birds chirping outside and the low bawl of cattle in the distance. She could get used to these sounds. The quiet country sounds instead of the blare of car horns, the chatter of people below her window, the bark of neighborhood dogs and the hustle of everyone in the city. No one
slowed down to appreciate the things in life.

  She reached to the side of the bed expecting to find Joel’s warm body next to her only to find cold sheets. She sat up, pushing the hair from her eyes and looked around the room. His clothes were gone.

  “Well duh, Mesa. He works on a cattle ranch. He has to be up with the chickens.”

  The clock on the table read seven-thirty. She jumped out of the bed, grabbed some clean clothes, and headed for the shower. Breakfast would be served in thirty minutes and she still had to be presentable. She wasn’t sure why she cared so much since it was a cattle ranch. They lived with dirt and mud every day, so what difference did it make?

  She lifted her arm and sniffed. “Okay. I do need a shower.”

  Several moments later, she stood beneath the warm spray of the water and drifted into a little daydream. Joel’s lips on hers, firmly taking what he wanted. His hands, slick with soap, drifting down over her breasts and pinching her nipples between his fingers. The feel of his lips on the tight nubs, pulling and sucking them between his lips, drove her desire higher. Her hand drifted down between her thighs to touch her clit. A soft moan escaped on a sigh.

  “Are you touching what’s mine?”

  Now her fantasy had a voice.

  “I want you.”

  “Open your eyes.”

  She opened her eyes to find him standing at the bathroom door, leaning against the frame with a wicked grin on his lips.

  The screech she released made him laugh. “What the hell? How did you get in here?”

  “Master key.”

  “I thought you were working. I was trying to get cleaned up for breakfast.”

  “You looked like you were enjoying yourself a bit. Mind if I join you? I could use a shower, too.”

  “Somehow I don’t think we’ll be doing a lot of showering.”

  “I hope not. Watching you touch yourself was so fuckin’ hot, I almost came in my jeans.” He quickly stripped off his clothes and climbed into the shower with her. “Much better.” He grabbed the soap and lathered up his hands until they were slick. “Now I can touch you like I wanted to this morning before I left your bed.”