Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  Trying to get back to sleep would be pointless, since my mind would just continue to race as it always did, especially when I thought too much about my circumstances. The more I let that happen, the more I wanted to complain even though, I rationalized, in the big scheme of things I didn’t have much to complain about.

  I was taking on all of the traits in Alley that I swore I never would. I was finding reasons to enjoy my time here, to rationalize, and accept Kirk’s actions.

  I decided I could accept how things were, or risk doing something to set him off and get beaten again.

  I put on my robe and walked across the living room to grab my e-reader from Kirk’s desk, hoping that he remembered to download some new reading material after I had gone to bed. A small card under the computer caught my eye.

  I told myself to leave it alone. There was nothing to be gained from snooping on Kirk that would be worth the punishment I’d get if he found out.

  But the shower was still running.

  I turned on the e-reader, hoping to distract myself long enough for the curiosity to fade, but my gaze wandered back to the small card. I slid it out from under the laptop and flipped it over.

  “Oh my god,” I whispered, dropping the driver’s license to the floor.

  My driver’s license.

  The bastard not only knew who I was, but where I lived and probably much more, since he was usually the one digging into the background of clients to find out all of their darkest secrets.

  I stormed into the bathroom and pulled back the curtain.

  “How long have you known who I am?”

  Kirk shut off the water and stared down at me, water dripping and gleaming on his body. A scene that a few minutes ago would have sent me into a lust-fueled frenzy, now didn’t move me at all.

  “You were snooping?”

  “I picked up my e-reader off your desk. My driver’s license was laying there.”

  He rubbed the water off his face and ran his fingers through his hair, squeezing out the excess water. His jaw twitched under the tension, and I thought I’d collapse from his snarled gaze alone before he spoke. “It was under my computer.”

  “Not entirely.” My anger remained, by my conviction at confronting him was quickly fading. “How long have you known?”

  “Since the beginning,” he said. “Hand me a towel.”

  I huffed, grabbed a towel off the rack, and chucked it at his crotch. He caught it before it managed to hit anything, but that didn’t mean he was any less pissed.

  I was momentarily glad for the tub wall between us, even though it was a minor obstacle.

  “Silver.” He called my name as I stormed out of the room. I paced the living room until he emerged, mostly dry, from the bathroom, wearing the towel around his waist.

  “Why?” I screamed.

  “I had to make sure no one would come here looking for you.”

  “So you’ve been spying on me so you could make sure and crush any efforts to rescue me.”

  “You’re not getting out alive. We already discussed that, Silver.”

  “Silver? You fucking—” I shook my head, looking for something else to throw at him, but he caught my arms and pinned them to my sides.

  “Want me to call you by your real name?”

  “No. You have no place in that life. I became Silver. I became what you wanted. But they’re separate, you’re not supposed to know anything about her. You said you didn’t even care what my name was.”

  “Because I didn’t want to know.” His hands slowly slid away from my wrists, allowing me to step back. “Miles got your license from Gabe. He told me to check you out and make sure you wouldn’t be a danger to the organization.”

  “What kind of danger would I be to this fortress? I’m just a regular girl.”

  Kirk folded his arms over his chest and I backed up, but he caught my arm and pulled me closer. “I had to make sure you weren’t somehow involved with everything going on. Then, I had to make sure that Gabe hadn’t screwed up and left a trail for someone to find you here.”

  “So, all along you knew my birthday was yesterday. And what, were you planning that all along? Just trying to play me? Find out more information?”

  “No. Yesterday was exactly what you thought it was then. I wanted you to have a nice day. I wanted to get to know you because I want to trust you.”

  “Don’t worry; I’m not here to bring down your fucking retreat.”

  “I know. If I had any doubts about that I sure as hell wouldn’t have been giving you information yesterday. I wouldn’t have taken you to the security room. I wouldn’t be standing up for you.”

  His grasp on my arms tightened as he drew me closer. I could smell his body wash, the soft woodsy scent that tugged at my gut. My body loosened and he held me tighter, locking his arms around my back.

  “Are people looking for me?”

  “Silver, don’t. You’ll drive yourself crazy. You’ll get yourself into trouble.”

  I sucked back the tears, and let my body fall against his. He combed his fingers through my hair and kissed my temple. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, “I had to do my job.”

  “And doing me is doing your job.”

  “No, doing you is my new pastime. It’s much more enjoyable than the job.”

  I smiled. The jackass had a way of lightening my mood, and whether I liked it or not, it made me hate him and the situation less.

  “I have a meeting,” he said.

  I started to push away, but he pulled me back, squeezing my chest against his.

  “It’s off site and I’ll be gone for a few hours.”

  “So you’re sending me downstairs?”

  “Up to you.”

  “You can’t leave me chained to a bed all day.”

  His lip twitched. “I didn’t plan to, but that was before. You were here alone the other night.”

  He took my face between his hands and pulled me to meet him.

  “You’d leave me in the apartment for hours while you’re not even in the building? Free to walk around and everything? What if Gabe comes back?”

  Kirk nodded. He squeezed my face between his palms and pushed my hair away from my face. “That’s why there’s a lock on the door.”

  “There’s an extra key.” I pointed out. “Everything he’s already done, I don’t think it would be above him to go get it.”

  “I’ll make sure he can’t. Are you okay staying here, or not?”

  “I’m pissed, but I’m not going anywhere or doing anything. It’s not even like I could go back home now if I did escape. You probably know everything about me and my family.” I grabbed his forearms. “And don’t explain about how you had to do it. Can we just bury it so I don’t have to think about it again?”

  “How about some breakfast and post-breakfast sex to take your mind off of it?”

  “I don’t really get a choice in the matter, do I?”

  “No,” he whispered with a smile that did all the wrong things to me. Ironically, the more I fought, the easier it was for him to break me and make me his.

  *****

  I had Kirk’s apartment all to myself, and yet I chose to do the boring thing and curl up on the couch with a book. Just as I had sunk into a new chapter, someone knocked on the door. The e-reader fell into my lap, and I slumped into the couch, unsure of whether I should answer or just let whoever it was go away. I didn’t want anyone else to know I was up here alone.

  The knock sounded again. “I know you’re in there, Silver.”

  Recognizing the deep voice as Miles’, I let out the breath I’d been holding and pulled on my robe.

  “Yes, Sir,” I called, not sure what the appropriate protocol for a slave answering the door.

  “Why the delay?” he asked as I opened the door.

  “I was afraid you were Gabe, Sir.” The awkwardness of the terms had vanished and they now rolled off my tongue as habit, especially when anyone aside from Kirk was around.

 
“He asked me to stop in on you before I started my shift downstairs.”

  I bit my lip, wondering if he wanted more than to just see if I was okay. Was I supposed to let him in so he could see I wasn’t trying to burrow through a ninth story wall?

  He brushed my cheek and I smiled at the soft gesture—further confirming that I’d lost my rational mind. “Good to see you staying out of trouble.”

  “No kidding,” I mumbled, then clenched my teeth together.

  “Maybe we should have kept you away from Alley,” he smirked and turned away, “be good, Silver.”

  I closed and locked the door and returned to the couch. Sometime in the midst of reading a slow chapter, I fell asleep, and woke to another knock. This time, I jumped off the couch, hoping it was Kirk, but considering that it might also be Miles again.

  I glanced at the clock; I couldn’t have been asleep for more than ten minutes, since it wasn’t even noon yet. I reached for the key, checking through the peep hole just to confirm who it was.

  It was the same lanky black-haired man who had come to the door to let Kirk know that Ross was coming back early. I’d also seen him around, usually whispering with Ross and then disappearing, but I had no idea what his name was.

  “Y-yes, Sir?” I said through the door. I didn’t know him well enough to simply open the door, and I wasn’t sure if Kirk would send him to check on me as well.

  “Ross wants to see you.”

  “About what, Sir?”

  He banged on the door again and I jumped back. “You don’t ask questions.”

  I had no idea what his true role was in the organization, but it wouldn’t be the first time Ross had sent this guy to deliver a message. My heart raced with apprehension as I considered the possibilities. I had never seen him with Gabe, or any of his goons. But if Ross wanted to see me, I didn’t anticipate a positive outcome either way. “My Master told me to stay here.”

  “And your Master’s boss told me otherwise. Ross sent me to get you—we need to talk about the drugs, and Kirk.”

  What the hell? My hand shook over the key in the deadbolt. I wished there was someone I at least half-trusted that I could ask. A way I could call Kirk, or even Miles.

  “I can tell Ross to come get you himself.”

  Fucking hell. Ross wanted me dead in the first place, or at the very least miserable. Pissing him off, or even miffing him in the slightest, wasn’t a viable option. The scrawny man pulled out his cell phone and a set of keys.

  Fucker had the master keys. It stood to reason that Ross would have his own set. That threw any possibility of holding up here until Kirk came back.

  My wrist flicked, releasing the dead bolt, hoping I could avoid pissing him off any more. I pulled the key out and opened the door. He nodded toward the elevator, so I locked the door and followed. Inside the elevator, he pressed “7” and my stomach churned.

  I opened my mouth—knowing that if it was legitimate and I argued I’d just get myself in more trouble, but I had a bad feeling. Before I could say anything a hand came over my mouth, blocking it and my nose. I struggled, trying to get him to break away just long enough to catch a breath, but for a scrawny man, he was damn strong and limber. By the time the elevator halted, I was already feeling dizzy. The doors slid open, and I stared into Gabe’s eyes once again.

  I tried to scream, but there wasn’t enough air in my lungs, and what did escape further weakened me. He grabbed me and helped Black Hair pull me into the first door where two other men waited to join the fray. The hand over my mouth gave me enough room to inhale then blocked my airway again.

  The cameras, what about the cameras? Surely someone saw them grab me and pull me in here. When they’d attacked Kirk, everyone was on the move within a few minutes. What did they hope to accomplish?

  I clawed and kicked, but between the four of them, they deflected most of my attacks and managed to render my limbs useless.

  I already knew the rooms were fairly sound-proof, if they weren’t, all anyone would hear would be their neighbors having sex all day and night, but I was sure a scream would carry, even if I only had a second.

  Gabe flicked open a knife and pressed it to my throat. My vision was already dimming. I needed air.

  “We’ll let you breathe, but if you scream, I cut.”

  I nodded, anything was worth air, and I figured someone had to be on the way. The man behind me released my mouth and I sucked in a breath, almost coughing. I drew in breath after breath, as my body replenished its supply of oxygen and my vision slowly returned.

  “They’ll come get me,” I said. As my mouth opened to say more, Gabe shoved a wet cloth into my mouth and another put a piece of tape over it. Whatever the cloth was coated in had a slightly soapy taste.

  One man pushed me toward the bedroom. I tried to resist, but I felt sluggish, tripping over my own feet as I walked over the carpet. No, they had drugged me again. Scrawny kept one arm, while Gabe took the other and they dragged me to the bed.

  Gabe ripped off the tape and pulled the cloth out of my mouth, tossing it aside.

  “Feeling better?”

  “You fucking b—bastard,” I tripped over my own words. I waited for unconsciousness to come—hell, I longed for it since I wouldn’t have to be awake for their assault.

  He put a fresh piece of tape over my mouth, while the others pulled my arms and legs toward the corners of the bed to tie me down.

  I jerked as hard as I could, but it was a feeble attempt at best and only caused the ropes to cut into my skin and dig under the silver cuffs.

  I moaned through the tape again, hoping I could make just enough noise for someone to hear, but a heavy hand busted across my face leaving the taste of blood in my mouth.

  I sobbed, trying to swallow the liquids in my mouth before I choked. Gabe pulled off his belt and folded it over in his hand. I shook my head and sobbed, but he raised his hand and it came down with a thwap against my ribs. I screamed in pain and another strike followed.

  One of the men fisted my hair and put his finger over his lips to tell me to be quiet. Gabe moved the strikes down to my legs, while the other men grabbed and twisted at my breasts.

  Please, I hoped the drug would knock me out. Maybe even if I was awake I wouldn’t remember it afterward. Where the hell was the security team?

  The black-haired man’s gaze caught mine, and he hissed in my ear. “Pity they got the wrong mole.”

  My eyes widened and I screamed against the tape. The belt came down against my crotch and my scream turned into a cry and then sobs.

  I couldn’t breathe. My chest tightened and shook, tears rolled down my face, and gunk clogged my nose and throat.

  Gabe grabbed my chin. “Every sound you make will make everything hurt more,” he whispered with a rough, low voice.

  The belt came down on my thigh, a strike to my hip, and one across my breast. The room blurred as I sobbed into the piece of tape that held back my pleas and screams.

  One of the men jerked off his pants and climbed on top of me.

  I shook my head, mentally screaming for him to stop and shrieking into the thick tape. Another strike came down on my chest. The man on top of me took Gabe’s belt and pressed it against my neck, cutting off my air supply.

  What if no one comes to stop them, this time?

  I felt an excruciating slam of pain as he pressed inside me, but then the room went mercifully dark.

  Water splashed on my face and I roused. It was down to three men now; the scrawny man who’d dragged me down here was gone. My throat burned from my useless screams, and my body shook with a mixture of pain, anger, and adrenaline.

  I didn’t want to be awake for this.

  Another stepped forward, but Gabe shoved him back. “No way. It’s my turn.” He punched me in the gut and the ropes cut into my skin when I curled up in response. “Help me turn her over.”

  Oh, no, god no. I thought. But I didn’t have the strength to fight all of them off as they flipped me over
and retied the restraints. Apparently, they weren’t taking any chances this time. I felt something wet slide down my crack and then a finger pushed inside. I screamed into the pillow and the belt came down on my shoulder blades. Ten more strikes crossed my back until I felt like I could neither scream nor cry anymore without suffocating.

  My consciousness flickered. I thought I was going to pass out again—sweet oblivion, to pull me away from the assault, but I only half left. I could still hear the men around me. Now they took turns with various implements smacking them across my ass. I felt some kind of stick, then a whip that left multiple bites with each stroke.

  Someone lifted my hips, and I waited for another dick to stretch me open. Instead, something fluttered against my clit.

  No, even worse. I bucked, trying to get free, but a finger slid into my ass again. Every time I jerked away from the vibrations, the finger went deeper.

  The room twisted again, and I was the in backseat of a vehicle.

  Fuck, I passed out long enough for them to get me out of the building.

  But there hadn’t been an escape, my body was still in the room.

  I was crammed into the small backseat of an extended cab pickup. A hand pressed over my mouth. “She’s awake.”

  “Give her the sedative,” a blond man handed something over the back of the pickup seat.

  Alan. The mole in the security team is Alan.

  I bucked and kicked at the door, but a pinching pain pierced through my arm, and I lost control of my limbs. I rocked in the seat as the truck accelerated quickly. The drug numbed my body, but for some reason I was still conscious.

  I looked up at the man holding me, “What-do-you-want?” It all came out sounding as one long word. “Where’s Charlene?”

  “Shut up bitch.”

  A hand struck my face and I jerked awake. Gabe grunted; he was kneeling over me with his hand still between my legs. “It’s not nice to zone out when I’m working for your pleasure, Princess.”

  The vibrator still hummed against my clit, and as Gabe slid another finger into my vagina, I realized I was wet. My damn body was giving in and turning against me.