Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  The corner of his mouth turned up as he dropped everything into the box and tossed it under the coffee table.

  The hardest part about knowing his secret and actually understanding him, was that I cared about how he felt. Distant and brooding meant he was going to have to do something he didn’t want to do.

  I swung my leg over his lap, straddling him in an attempt to distract him and at least avoid the brunt of his sullen side for a moment.

  “Silver,” he breathed, putting his hands on my hips. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what? We still have a whole hour before we have to worry about anything that happens at the Outlook.”

  “I need to go talk to Ross.” Kirk began to lift me up, but I shifted my weight to delay him.

  “Why? I mean, I get that you want to protect me from whatever he has planned, but we should just do what he says.”

  Kirk grimaced and leaned his head back. “Since when are you gung-ho to do anything anyone says?”

  “I don’t want to die here—”

  “You won’t.”

  “Not if we both keep playing our parts. You get too soft on me. He already sees it, so just…,” I shook my head. I couldn’t believe the words that were about to come out of my mouth. “Let him do what he wants to do.”

  *****

  I didn’t think Ross had asked us to the Outlook out of concern for my condition and recovery. Initiation. The word flooded my mind. I knew it was coming. I hadn’t even healed from the last attack, part of me hoped that meant he’d take it easy on me, but I doubted it. As we entered the giant twelfth-story club, I wanted to press myself against Kirk, a single whiff of him, the touch of his skin, anything to calm the growing panic inside of me.

  One thing I had on my side while I was injured was the pain meds, even though Kirk had taken me down to half a pill at a time. They didn’t make walking in stilettos easy, however.

  Kirk took a seat at the table, and I knelt next to him, holding back my grunt of pain as my stiff body settled into the uncomfortable position.

  “She really is a tough girl,” Ross mused.

  “She is,” Kirk cupped my cheek. “And she’s still healing. I guess we all underestimated Gabe’s vindictive streak.”

  Ross scoffed. I glanced around, usually he had at least one slave at his feet, but today there were no other slaves around. Three other men entered the room, but I didn’t recognize any of them.

  “Ross….” Kirk growled.

  My stomach flipped and churned, the sound of his voice validated my fears.

  I struggled to catch my breath.

  Miles paused at the doorway and scanned the room. So far, he was the only one to enter with a slave.

  Looking under the table, I managed to catch a peek at Alley’s face as she sat down, but she bit her lip and kept her eyes down.

  My heart pounded, and my body started to shake.

  Please, I begged an invisible power, biting into my lip.

  “She’s hurt; she’s not ready for this.”

  “She’s out of time,” Ross hissed. “One chance to prove herself before Milo gets here.”

  Six men and two slaves. That was eerily close to the odds I’d faced when I woke up in the basement. Keep it together, Silver. Only a little longer.

  I could hear their voices over me, but not a single syllable registered as having any meaning. The tendons of Kirk’s hand pulsed as he fisted it against his leg. I wasn’t the only one struggling to keep up the show.

  Ross stood, looking down on me, and I heard my name, just before his hand clamped down on my collar and pulled me to my feet. My feet slid out of the shoes as I stumbled toward him.

  I was actually quite thankful to be rid of the shoes. At least I wouldn’t be ending the night with a broken ankle—I hoped.

  As we passed, Kirk took a deep breath but didn’t otherwise move.

  I followed Ross—although it wasn’t as if I had a choice since he was dragging me by the metal ring around my neck. He placed me in front of a small table. It was as tall as his waist and just big enough for a person to lay on.

  He lifted me on to it and pushed me back. My muscles were tense, but I tried not to resist as he positioned me so that my head rested against what looked like a movable portion.

  “I hear you’re good with your mouth,” Ross said, pressing two fingers to my lips. I opened my mouth and he shoved them inside, straight to the back of my throat. I gagged, pulling in a breath of air through my nose and trying not to clamp down on the invading fingers.

  “Good girl,” he whispered, “Definitely gaining control of your body. That’ll help.”

  Shit. My brain rambled off every curse word I’d ever heard.

  Ross slid his fingers out, then back in. I jerked with my gag reflex then forced myself to breath past it again. “Kirk, strap your lovely slave down.”

  I saw Kirk shake his head slightly then approach. He picked up a cuff that was chained to the bottom corner of the table, and pulled my leg to the edge, rubbing the inside of my ankle with his thumb as he fastened the buckle. He then repeated the same thing on the other leg.

  The next strap went over my chest, just below the still bruised ribs and right on top of where one of Gabe’s men had punched me. I winced as Kirk tightened it, but Ross simply turned back toward his guests.

  “You okay?” Kirk mouthed.

  I shook my head, feeling like I was about to cry.

  “Pain?”

  I closed my eyes, pushing back the tears, and shook my head again.

  The men around the table erupted into laughter and stood. My heart beat so fast I couldn’t even think straight. Everything in the room slowed as Kirk lowered the flap on the table under my head then stepped away. The three men I didn’t recognize circled me.

  I forced myself to keep breathing, long deep breaths for as long as I could manage. I promised Kirk I could do this. I promised I could take anything they put me through just to bring them all down.

  Just get through it.

  The first man approached, tangling his fingers in my hair and pulling it tight.

  “Beautiful girl,” he said in a strange accent. Then he undid his pants and pulled out his cock.

  Kirk. I cried out in my head. I lied. I can’t do it.

  Stroking it slowly next to my head, the other men, including Ross followed suit. Kirk touched Ross’ arm and whispered something in his ear. Ross frowned then nodded, without ever taking his eyes off me.

  The first man pulled my head back and pressed his cock to my lips. I opened, and he pressed forward until I gagged. He paused, not withdrawing, just waiting.

  As soon as I suppressed my gag reflex, he pushed deeper until it pressed painfully against the back of my throat. I struggled to take a single breath without biting down.

  He slowly moved out then thrust back in again. I jerked.

  I was strapped down, so the only thing I could do was lay there and take it. I concentrated on breathing and not gagging so hard that I would clench my jaw closed.

  He thrust in and out slowly a few times, coating my tongue with his musky salty taste. Then he picked up the pace, slamming into the back of my throat with every thrust. I fisted my hands at my sides, feeling my body shake with the effort to stay in control.

  Ironically, I was glad to be tied down. At least then I didn’t have to worry about what the rest of my body was doing as well.

  He pulled out a final time then stepped back for the next man to take his turn.

  A new cock was shoved down my throat, thicker but shorter, so not every thrust hit the back of my throat as forcefully. But when he pressed in completely, it blocked off my windpipe entirely. He held it down, watching me struggle for air and then backed off before repeating the same thing.

  The struggle aggravated all of my previous injuries and before much longer I was buried in a fog of pain and confusion.

  Ross was next with his long slender shaft. Every thrust was fast and powerful, pushing as deep as possi
ble. I started to cough around it, but it only spurred him to move faster.

  He pulled out and I choked in a breath of air.

  “You look so nice for your Master tonight.” He leaned his face closer to mine, rubbing his hand over my neck and down my sternum. “It was a fitting ensemble, don’t you think?”

  “Yes, Master,” I whispered. Involuntary tears slipped out of my eyes from the gagging and the stabbing pain in my lungs.

  He smirked, tracing my chin with his fingertips. “It’s not really fair that your Master is standing by and not having any fun.” He straightened and licked his lips, then pointed to a chair that had been pushed up against the wall. “Kirk, have a seat and whip it out.”

  Kirk wouldn’t meet my gaze as he walked by and took a seat. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his half hard cock.

  “Alley,” Ross said, waving to Kirk. “Take care of him.”

  I saw Alley make eye contact with Miles before she dropped to her knees and took Kirk in her mouth.

  I wanted to clench my jaw, or look away, but Ross had positioned him perfectly so that even if I didn’t look over, I could see the motion in my peripheral vision.

  Mother fucker.

  “Well, what do you think of that?”

  “Whatever pleases him.” I had to force it out, but I hoped that the raspiness caused by my sore throat covered it up enough.

  Ross stepped away and the fourth man took my hair, smacking my face before he slipped his cock in my mouth.

  I heard Kirk grunt, but I wasn’t sure if it was because of Alley or the man smacking me.

  This man thrust in slowly, easing his cock down my throat every time. I wasn’t sure if I was becoming numb to it, or better at controlling the gagging, but I managed to take him without my entire body convulsing.

  The rest of the men gathered at the side of the table, rubbing my skin while they violently tugged at their own shafts waiting for their next turn.

  Please, make it end, I begged silently.

  The first man came up again. This time, he wrapped both hands in my hair, pulling it with each thrust. I tugged at all of the restraints, trying to catch a breath, but he forced himself deeper and I gagged harder with each thrust. My gut clenched, setting my bruises on fire.

  I heard Kirk grunt again. And this time there was no doubt in my mind what caused it. The sound was familiar. I could see the way his body tensed just before coming. My hatred for Ross tightened every muscle and thickened my muscle until I felt like my body was hardening to cement. He wanted to torture us both, to fuck with both of our minds. So, instead of falling into his sick game, I let my mind latch on to his sounds even though I resented that they were caused by Alley.

  I concentrated on our connection, remembering his tongue on my skin, his lips on mine, the sensations that relaxed my body and quieted my mind. I’d finally found a piece of that place where I could hide from the attacks.

  The first man jerked and spasmed then pulled out of my mouth, spilling his liquid on my face. It dripped into my mouth and nose, making it even harder to breath. I swallowed, and barely got my mouth open in time for Ross shove his cock in my mouth again.

  He squeezed my breasts as he pumped into my throat. Three quick pumps, then he’d hold it there, in my throat blocking off my oxygen. I tried to time my breathing accordingly, but every time I adapted, he threw off his rhythm slightly to block off my airway as soon as I exhaled.

  My grunts, shaking, and flailing must have pushed him over the edge. He came in the back of my throat and I struggled to swallow it before my chest demanded that I inhale.

  It didn’t entirely work.

  I coughed and jerked, feeling the liquid in my mouth, and throat. All over my face. The room dimmed as the lack of oxygen set in.

  I heard voices around me, laughter.

  I faded back into the room with Gabe. I turned my head, focusing on Kirk. Miles now stood next to him, with a hand on Kirks’ shoulder as if he was holding him there.

  A hand touched my face and I jerked.

  “It’s okay, sweetie,” Alley whispered, wiping the cum off my face and away from my nose. Apparently they weren’t entirely ready for me to pass out, since all of the men waited behind her while she finished what she was doing.

  I jerked with another wave of coughing, and forced myself to swallow it all back down.

  Alley stepped away and that was nearly enough to push me over the edge.

  What had I agreed to?

  Why was I letting this happen?

  I knew when I agreed to stay with Kirk, to help him that I’d be used and degraded, but I still wasn’t sure how much of it I could take without breaking.

  I sent my mind to another place. I didn’t have to be there. Nothing that I could do would change anything they did to me. They enjoyed pushing my body’s automatic responses.

  But I still had to fight, to keep my teeth from clamping down, to keep my chest from inhaling too much of their vile liquid. That’s all I concentrated on, letting the rest of reality fade to the edges.

  My only reprieve came when the next two men came quickly, probably from enjoying the show, and I finally felt hands releasing the cuffs on my ankles, and the strap across my chest.

  My eyes wouldn’t focus on anything.

  A form pulled me up and tucked me to his chest. I took a breath of his scent and crashed into unconsciousness.

  *****

  I woke up in another coughing fit as Kirk swung open the door to his apartment.

  “Bathroom please,” I rasped.

  He sat me on my feet near the toilet and as the last cough subsided, I heaved, and coughed up more cum.

  “I should have found a way to get you out of here.”

  “I said I wanted to stay. Now I just want to bring them down more than ever.”

  “Silver—”

  I shook my head, putting my fingers to his lips. I knew what he wanted to say. He didn’t want me to end up fucked up for the rest of my life. He wanted to remind me that revenge was a slippery slope.

  “If I don’t help, they’ll keep doing this. Maybe it’s small in the big scheme of things. There will be other traffickers. Other people who hurt women. But, I can at least help make sure some of them get what they deserve.”

  Kirk huffed then kissed my forehead. “You’re a stronger girl than I gave you credit for.”

  “I am pretty damn amazing, aren’t I?” I winked, putting on a show even though my voice was raspy and barely audible. Neither the sight or sound could have been remotely attractive, but it helped lighten the tension.

  “I’m not sure I should feed your ego after that.”

  “After tonight? Yes. Then, you should drag me into the shower and make me forget.”

  “You need to drink some water first.” He kissed my forehead. “Will you be okay for a minute while I grab a glass?”

  “Yeah, fill it with vodka.”

  “You think your throat burns now?” He tousled my hair as he passed. “You haven’t even had dinner.”

  I shrugged. Quicker path to wasted, which is exactly where I wanted to be.

  *****

  Kirk climbed into the shower with me. He stood behind me, rubbing lathery soap over my skin. I could barely keep my eyes open, let alone enjoy his feathery touches over my skin, but I wanted my escape, that momentary release and rush of pleasure to help me escape the nightmare. Even if it was only temporary.

  “Please, make me forget.” I rubbed my hands over his pecs then up and hooked them behind his neck.

  “You’re exhausted,” he kissed my neck. I rested against his chest as he massaged the shampoo through my hair, then I leaned back, letting the water fall over my face and rinse the soap down the drain.

  I shrugged, dropping my head on his shoulder. He was already taking most of my weight.

  He helped me out of the tub then wrapped a towel around my body. I quickly dried myself off, eager to get off my feet and collapse in bed. I opened the medicine cabinet and
took a mouthful of mouthwash. I considered swallowing it, just to sanitize the rest of my throat.

  I swished it around and spit it out, and a horrible thought occurred to me.

  “Those men…. They’re clean, right?”

  “Yeah, Ross is careful.”

  “But tonight he seemed pretty vengeful.”

  “He gets that way especially…,” he trailed off for a moment, leaning sideways against the wall near the counter, “We haven’t had new girls in a while, so I think he was particularly enjoying himself.”

  He gently ran his fingers over my shoulder and pulled me a step closer. “One more week,” he promised.

  I followed him out to the living room and watched him walk into the kitchenette to fix us each something to eat—and hopefully drink. I noticed the pill bottle sitting on his desk, and tiptoed around the couch to pick it up.

  Vicodin. The reliever of my pain and deliverer of oblivion.

  “No, Silver.”

  “I hurt.” I pleaded.

  “Then, I’ll give you some Aspirin.”

  “I’ve been taking this stuff all week.”

  “For pain, not an escape.”

  I stared down at the bottle, hearing Kirk put the food and drinks on the table. Tears broke free in streams down my face.

  He grabbed my waist, holding me against his chest until the worst of the sobs passed.

  “I shouldn’t have let you stay.”

  “You couldn’t have gotten me out. No thinking about the impossible, remember?”

  He kissed my cheek, then my neck. “You are pretty fucking awesome.”

  I giggled, feeling the knot in my stomach unwind.

  “I mean it. Now, let’s eat so I can help erase it all.”

  He took the drugs out of my hand and tossed the bottle back on his desk, then tugged me to the couch.

  I took a long swig of the drink he’d mixed, it burned all the way down but no more than my emotions.

  After we finished eating, Kirk made us each a second drink. By the time we went to bed, I was stumbling and buzzed.

  “I can now add taking advantage of a drunk girl to my long list of sins.”