by Anna Smith
‘We’ll build a raft,’ Dan said. ‘I saw them doing it in Robinson Crusoe. You tie the logs together with branches and away you go.’
‘Right,’ Jamie said. ‘That’ll be easy.’
We walked off into the bright, fresh morning, our duffel bags slung over our shoulders, and we never as much as looked back.
Chapter Seventeen
We could feel the sun on our backs as we walked on and on through the fields, none of us talking much, each of us focused on the task ahead. We were glad of the shade in the woods to cool us off from the walk across the fields and over the hill, far enough away from the village. The woods were dark but we strode straight through, seeing ourselves in the jungle with no turning back. When we reached the end of the trees we were glad to see the light. The woods always made strange noises and if you stood still there was a branch cracking or a hissing noise somewhere around you making you feel uneasy and alone. Out of the woods, we stood looking down into the fast-flowing river. It looked massive to us, but it really wasn’t that big because I had gone there once with Kevin and his mates and they were all swimming from one side to the other, despite the current raging against them. Kevin told me that on the other side of the river, if you walked for about thirty miles, you would get to the sea. I didn’t know if it was true though, because I had only ever been to the seaside at Helensburgh on the blue train or on the bus to Ayr, and they were not on the same road. But if it was true, then maybe if we kept crossing the fields we could get to the ferry on the coast and I could cross to Donegal and see Ann Marie. I didn’t want to tell the boys what I was thinking in case they said I was daft.
Tony looked at his watch.
‘We’ve been walking for nearly two hours. I’m whacked. Let’s sit down and have some food.’ We all sat at the edge of the hill and brought out the food from our bags. Nobody had actually taken any time to make anything. We had cans of beans, bread, cheese, water and juice. Tony had a pocket knife with all the bits on it. He set about cutting cheese and making sandwiches. We ate them hungrily, in silence, looking down at the river, all of us wondering what we had got ourselves into, but nobody daring to admit it.
‘Once we cross the river, we’ll walk for about another hour and that will take us to the mineshafts and the old workshop. We can stay there for the night,’ Tony said.
‘Maybe we should have brought a tent,’ Dan said.
‘We don’t have a tent, Dan!’ Jamie said, throwing a piece of bread at him.
‘We could have borrowed one,’ Dan insisted.
‘Yeah. Like say to your next-door neighbour, “Can I borrow your tent? Me and my pals are going to run away.”’ Everybody laughed.
‘First thing we’ve got to do is try and build a raft. We’ll go down the hill and see if we can get enough bits of wood to make one,’ Jamie said.
‘Could we not swim across?’ I said, thinking about Kevin and his pals. I knew we could all swim.
‘Wouldn’t like to risk it. There’s undercurrents,’ Tony said.
We all looked down at the river in silence. It rushed on relentlessly, foaming white torrents raging over rocks and pebbles, then on and on downhill and into the distance. It looked deep in parts, dark and scary.
We took ourselves down the hill and threw our bags off while we set about looking for wood.
‘How are we going to chop logs?’ Dan said. We all looked at each other. We hadn’t really given it much thought. I was beginning to feel worried.
Jamie had gone off into the trees and suddenly we heard him shouting.
‘Hey, guys, quick! I’ve found us a raft.’ We rushed in and there he was, dragging what looked like an old home-made raft, built from railway sleepers. It looked as though it had been discarded ages ago, and the edges of it were damp through at one side where it had been buried beneath the undergrowth. We pulled all the leaves and dirt off it and kicked away the dozens of beetles, slaters and spiders that infested it. It was big, built from at least three thick sleepers that had been sawn in half and tied at the ends with rope. The rope was damp, but it held the sleepers together and we could see that it must have been used by older guys who played on the river at some time or another. It didn’t seem like it was rotted and looked as though it might float. Tony found a long piece of branch twice his size.
‘This looks as if it would do. It looks strong,’ he said.
‘I know they used to go down the river in rafts a couple of summers ago. My big cousin told me they used to race each other, so it must be safe.’
I wasn’t so sure. But it did seem sturdy.
We dragged the raft along to the edge of the river.
To our amazement Tony pulled a piece of rope out of his bag and said: ‘You see, I knew this would come in handy some time.’
‘What were you going to do? Hang yourself?’ Jamie laughed, as Tony tied the rope to the end of the raft.
‘Watch this,’ Tony said, as we pushed the raft on to the water and let the rope out gradually to see how it floated.
‘Well, it floats,’ Jamie said. ‘But will it hold all of us?’
We watched the raft bobbing up and down in the water. It looked strong and the sleepers were thick so there was no water lapping over it. Tony dragged it back in.
‘I’m going to give it a try first,’ he said, and we looked at him, a bit worried.
‘Maybe we should think about going by the road, Tony. Or just hiding up here somewhere,’ I said.
‘No, Kath. It’ll be fine. We’ve got to try.’ His face was serious.
He pulled the raft to the edge and crawled on to it. We held on to the rope as we gently pushed it back into the river. Tony looked scared, but determined. Dan’s face was white. The raft was a few feet away from the river bank, but sure enough it floated.
We kept hold of the rope, but our raft was out there, floating on the river, and Tony was on his feet, proudly saluting us.
‘Yahoo! We’ve got our own boat. C’mon, pull me back in.’
We dragged him back, carefully, and he clambered out.
‘But will it take us all?’ I said.
‘I’m sure it will,’ Jamie said. ‘It looks really strong.’
We secured our duffel bags on to our shoulders and got ready for the journey. I looked across the river to the other side. It wasn’t all that far, maybe about thirty yards, but at that moment it seemed like an ocean. The river swirled around in the middle and white waves drove it downstream. We all eased ourselves on to the raft one by one. Our faces were tight with concentration. Tony held the paddle and pushed us into the water. I swallowed hard, half expecting the raft to sink. But it didn’t. It floated. There we were, the four of us, out in the open river. It was magic. Jamie hooted with excitement.
‘Ya beauty! We’re sailors! Yahoo!’ He moved to kneel up but the raft bobbed around in the water and we all froze.
‘Sit still, for God’s sake,’ Tony said, laughing as we all braced ourselves.
Tony put the paddle into the water. He said he could feel the bottom and pushed the raft so that we were now yards away from the side. We sat nervously as we slowly headed for the other side.
‘This is brilliant!’ Jamie said. ‘I can’t believe we’ve got our own boat! Maybe we’ll go fishing tomorrow.’
I was beginning to feel more at ease. We were getting closer and closer to the other side and I could see the tall grass at the edge of the river bank. Everything would be fine.
It happened so quickly we didn’t even see it coming. We were in the water before we knew what had hit us. Suddenly the boat just disintegrated. It didn’t sink under our weight, it just broke apart, and by the time we were in the water all we could see were little bits of wood being carried away in the current. I was first to come up from under the water and I spat and gasped, looking around for the others. Jamie popped up beside me coughing and choking, then Tony, his face covered with a slimy reed.
‘Where’s Dan?’ I screamed, treading water, but feeling the weight
of my clothes dragging me down. I kicked and kicked with my legs, but I was getting further away from Tony and Jamie as the current carried me.
‘Where’s Dan?’ I screamed, panicking, breathless.
‘Oh shit!’ Tony screamed, the current dragging him down towards me. ‘Oh shit! Kath, where’s Dan?’
Jamie swam towards the other side and we saw him grab the edge of the river bank and try to drag himself out. But the soft soil kept giving way under his hand and he was being dragged back into the river. Eventually he made it and pulled himself out. He was on his knees spitting and coughing. Then he suddenly looked out to the river and started screaming.
‘Oh shit! Oh shit! Dan! Dan! Oh God! No! Dan!’ Jamie was on his feet shouting into the river.
Suddenly we saw the figure being carried towards us. Face down. It was Dan. My legs stopped moving. They wouldn’t move. I wanted to be sick.
‘Oh Jesus, Kath!’ Tony looked at me, his face white, soaking, his eyes red. He kicked himself up in the water and in one almost miraculous movement he grasped Dan’s body just as it floated past him. I watched in terror, unable to move. Tony found strength from somewhere and suddenly he was swimming and dragging Dan’s limp body on to rocks towards the edge of the river. He was out of the water and pulled Dan out, turning him on to his stomach. My legs moved and I started to kick wildly, punching and fighting against the torrent. I pushed and pushed, feeling my duffel bag slip off my arm and float downstream. I pushed and kicked and spluttered until I reached the side and dragged myself out.
‘Oh God, no!’ Tony was thumping Dan’s back. ‘Oh God, please don’t let him die! Please, God! Please, God! Let me die! Not Dan! Come on, Dan! Come on!’
I stood over them, watching Dan’s grey face in the mud, his lips a bluish colour.
‘Oh Dan! Please don’t die,’ I could hear myself whisper through tears.
Jamie was clambering over rocks and mud to get to us.
‘Oh Christ!’ he said, as he threw himself on to his knees. ‘Oh Dan!’
Suddenly Dan’s eyes flickered, and he started to vomit water. He coughed and choked and Tony thumped his back. He was alive.
‘Come on, that’s it. Oh Dan, I knew you wouldn’t die!’ Jamie said, pushing Dan’s hair back and rubbing his hands. Dan opened his eyes and started to cry. He sobbed and Tony pulled him towards him and hugged him tightly. I knelt down and threw up into the water. When I stopped being sick, I turned to them and couldn’t stop my tears as I saw the three of them together, holding each other, and crying with the fright and relief of the whole thing. The sun was blazing above us and the river that had tried to swallow us up battered its way on. We pulled ourselves up and staggered to the river bank. Then we sat down and stared into space. Nobody spoke.
*
We were stripped down to our underwear to let our clothes dry in the sun. But even though the heat was rising in waves, we were still shivering. Dan couldn’t stop shaking.
‘I read somewhere you have to take something sweet if you’ve had a fright,’ Jamie said.
We looked at the contents of the two surviving duffel bags. I had lost my bag and Dan’s had also been dragged away. Everything from Jamie and Tony’s bags was emptied out on to the grass to dry. The bread was soggy and unrecognizable. But the cans were there and so were the cheese triangles and the bottles of juice. There were four Mars bars that were soaked, but still edible.
‘We’ll eat these,’ Jamie said, picking one up.
‘Not one each,’ Tony said. ‘We’ll have to ration the food. Let’s just have one between us.’ He got his penknife out and quartered the chocolate bar and we stuffed it into our mouths. It tasted brilliant, sweet and wholesome, and we all eyed the other bars, desperate for more.
Tony was prising open the plastic box he had inside his duffel bag. It contained all the money and the newspaper clippings as well as a petrol cigarette lighter, and rolled-up inside some greaseproof paper were sliced sausages. Everything was bone dry.
‘Mom had these boxes in the States. No air gets in. No water. Even if you’re drowning, your lunch will stay dry.’ He smiled, happy and relieved that we were not just still alive, but that we also had food.
‘I think we should just make a kind of camp here tonight, Tony,’ I said, feeling exhausted from the terror in the river.
Tony looked at me. He could see that I was tired and scared. He smiled.
‘Yeah, maybe that’s best. It’s roasting anyway. We can sleep under the stars. We’ll build a fire later and just lie here.’
We lay back with the sun warming our chilled faces, each of us recalling those terrifying moments in the river when we could all have died. It seemed unreal. I felt drowsy and my eyes began to close. I could feel Dan lying beside me, edging a little closer. I reached down and touched his hand and he clasped my fingers in his. Nothing stirred around us except for the cooing of a wood pigeon somewhere deep in the trees.
Exhausted, we fell into a deep sleep, none of us even knowing or caring for a moment what was to happen next.
*
I woke up shivering and for a split second couldn’t work out where I was. Then I saw Dan lying beside me, his face peaceful. Tony and Jamie lay curled up next to each other. I shivered again. By the look of the sky it was early evening, still sunny, but in the distance I could see the horizon turn to red in the sinking sun.
I sat up and looked out into the distance. There was nothing but open fields and woodland, and the occasional tiny dot of a farm. I did not know for sure where I was, but I remembered Dad telling me that underneath the ground here for miles there were mine workings, and years ago the men used to travel on bogeys underground to get to the different parts of the pit.
I was feeling a pang of homesickness. I thought of how things would be in my house at this time of night. We would all be sitting after our dinner with cups of tea, watching the television. Dad would probably be asleep if he had been drinking, and Kevin might be dozing. It was always cosy, even if there were fights. I wondered what had happened when Mum and Dad woke up and discovered I wasn’t in bed. They would wonder if I had got up early and gone to one of the boys’ homes, and within ten minutes everybody would be at each other’s doors asking where Tony, Jamie, Dan and I were. They would all be panicking. I wondered if the Nazi was dead, or if he had killed Tony’s mum. It didn’t bear thinking about. I knew people would be looking for us. Deep down, part of me wanted them to find us, but I was worried that if Tony had killed the Nazi he would be taken to a boys’ home. I knew we had to stick together.
‘C’mon, are you guys going to sleep all day? There’s work to be done. C’mon, get up.’ I gently kicked each of them, stirring them from sleep.
‘I’m starving,’ Jamie said as soon as he sat up.
‘You’re always starving,’ Tony said, getting to his feet and stretching. He shivered and put on his T-shirt that had been drying on the grass.
Dan sat up and didn’t say anything. We all looked at each other.
‘Howye feeling, Dan? All right?’ I said, throwing him a shirt to put on.
‘Yeah. OK, I think,’ he said, rubbing his eyes. ‘I dreamt I was dead. It was a crazy dream. I was floating somewhere, then … then I saw my dad. He was smiling, you know the way he used to, and he was waving me towards him. But I couldn’t get near him. Something was dragging me back. Jesus! Then he came towards me and put his arms around me and hugged me. Jesus! I could smell his hair! I could smell his hair!’ His eyes filled with tears. ‘Then … he just seemed to disappear and I was left alone in this place … I don’t know where it was.’
None of us knew what to say. Dan wiped his eyes, then stood up, trying to pull himself out of the dream that had left him empty and sad.
‘I read about stuff like that,’ Jamie piped up. ‘I read that if you are nearly dead, then you can have an experience that you actually see what there is after you die. Like heaven and that? Maybe that’s what you got a glimpse of, Dan. Maybe you got a glimpse o
f heaven,’ Jamie said, enthusiastically. I knew he was just trying to make Dan feel good, so I joined in.
‘Yeah, that’s right, Dan. Maybe you saw your da in heaven. It’s good to know that, though, isn’t it? That he’s in heaven,’ I said, with my own idea of what heaven was like up there among all the angels and saints and other people who never put a foot wrong while they were living. I wondered if Barney Hagen was up there. I couldn’t see why not. He was decent and had never done anything wrong and ended up dead because people said bad things about him, just the same as Jesus, so I figured that he would be the kind of person God would let into heaven.
‘We’d better get a fire going before night time comes,’ Tony said, breaking the mood.
Jamie and Dan went off and started collecting bits of wood while Tony built a fire from pieces of stone set in a circle, the way the cowboys did. I gathered twigs and we knelt beside the stones, building the fire meticulously.
‘You OK, Kath?’ Tony said, as we knelt close together.
‘Yeah,’ I said, almost believing it.
‘They’ll come after us. I know they will. Especially if I’ve killed the Nazi,’ Tony said. ‘But you know what? I don’t care if I’ve killed him. He had it coming.’ Tony flicked the lighter and set fire to some twigs, both of us almost lying on the ground and blowing on the tiny glow in the middle of our makeshift hearth. It crackled and caught and in seconds there was a flame building up as we put bigger twigs and anything we could find on the fire. We sat and watched the smoke billow up.
‘I got you a present, Kath,’ Tony said, taking me by surprise. He went into his jeans pocket and pulled out something silver. ‘It was wrapped in tissue paper, but it got wet.’