Spit Against the Wind

by Anna Smith

  Dan shook his head and laughed. ‘I thought it was the farm.’

  ‘Farm animals don’t smell that bad,’ Tony laughed.

  ‘Hey! Chicken shit!’ We all turned when we heard the voice. It was Jamie, who appeared out of the trees with a great big smile on his face. He was running towards us and making a clucking noise like a chicken. When he got up to us he squatted down and started to cluck louder and louder with his face turning red. We all wondered what he was trying to do when suddenly he put his hand behind his backside and produced four eggs. We all fell about laughing.

  ‘What the hell did you do?’ Tony said. ‘Dan thought you’d been kidnapped. Jesus, did you break into the henhouse?’

  ‘Sure,’ Jamie said, his face beaming. ‘Told you I would. I got us eggs and I stole milk from the farm, but it’s back there in the trees because I couldn’t carry it all. What do you think? We could live like this for ever.’ He carried the eggs carefully over to the fire and set them down.

  ‘Right. Somebody fill the bean cans with water and we’ll have boiled eggs and bread. That’ll do us, won’t it?’ Jamie was animated. He really believed that now that we had a source for food we could live here and he would never have to go back and face the pain of his home again.

  Tony took the bean cans and went to the canal while Jamie and I went into the wood to retrieve the milk he had stolen. Dan stocked up the fire. We were ready for another day.

  Chapter Nineteen

  He seemed to come from nowhere, and for that first second we laid eyes on him we looked at him in sheer disbelief. It couldn’t be him. But it was. The big, angry, hateful face just appeared from behind a tree and stopped us dead in our tracks.

  It was the Nazi. He had a rifle over his shoulder, the one Tony said he used for shooting rabbits in the countryside. But to us, now that we knew what he really was, all that was missing was the SS uniform.

  ‘Hallo, Tony,’ he said, his hand caressing the butt of the rifle.

  None of us could move. We stared at him, and I could feel my breath nearly stop. His thick lips stretched back in a sardonic smile. I swallowed hard, but there was nothing to swallow. The Nazi ran his hand over his chin and walked around, like he was on guard. Maybe he was reliving the old days.

  ‘Well now … Well now … How’s the camping trip? Hmm?’ He took a step closer to Tony, who took a step back.

  ‘You look surprised to see me, Tony. Did you think you’d killed me … you bastard?’

  His big meaty arms reached out to grab Tony, who was frozen with fear.

  Tony dodged his grasp. ‘Fuck off! Leave me alone!’ he said, walking backwards as the Nazi followed on. ‘Fuck off! I know who you are! You’re a stinking Nazi, and I’m gonna make sure you get jailed! You asshole! I’ve got all your papers! Ha! Ha!’

  The Nazi’s face was almost purple with rage. We edged closer to him but were terrified he would turn on us at any moment.

  ‘Why do you think I’ve come here looking for you, Tony? Did you think for a minute I would let you get away with this, let you ruin my life after all I’ve worked for?’ He put his hand out towards Tony.

  ‘Now give me the papers and let’s get back home, and we’ll just forget all about this. C’mon now, Tony, your poor mother’s worried sick. She’s been walking the streets day and night searching for you.’

  The Nazi’s face almost softened and a tiny part of me was thinking that maybe he had turned over a new leaf and perhaps we should all trust him and go back home. I was tired and hungry and if there was a chance we could trust him, maybe we should go. But there was still that evil look in his eyes.

  ‘What do you care about her anyway, you Nazi bastard!’ Tony said. ‘You make her life miserable. She hates the sight of you and so do I! We were fine until you came along and ruined everything.’

  The Nazi sneered. ‘You were a poor bastard child with no bottom to your trousers until I gave you everything … a roof over your head and food on the table. Now stop this nonsense and give me the papers.’ He took the rifle off his shoulder. ‘There is no other way, you know that. You’re just a boy. There can only be one winner, and it won’t be you, or any of your stupid little friends.’ He lifted the rifle and pointed it in our direction. We all took a step back.

  The Nazi licked his lips. He cocked the gun. I couldn’t believe it. He was really going to kill Tony.

  ‘The papers, Tony. Now! And my money. Now! You have five seconds.’

  Then he swivelled around to us and pointed the gun. We took another step back, terrified.

  We stood rooted to the spot. Dan put his hands in the air like he was in the movies. Jamie looked at him, then at me. He looked like he didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The Nazi turned back to Tony and started to count.

  ‘Five … four …’

  From the corner of my eye I could see Jamie bend down and lift the chunk of tree we had been swinging around earlier. He pulled it slowly upwards, then behind his back. I looked at him and shook my head. Dan kept his hands in the air. His face was white as a sheet. I felt sure we were all going to die. I closed my eyes and said a Hail Mary.

  I stopped praying when I heard the thud. I opened my eyes to see the Nazi buckling at the knees. Blood was pouring from the back of his head as he fell to the ground. Jamie stood over him and smashed the wood on to the back of his skull. Tony jumped to his feet. Jamie raised the wood and was ready to hit the Nazi again when I leapt forward and stopped him.

  ‘No, Jamie! You’ll kill him! Christ! Let’s go!’ I pulled the wood from Jamie, who had a wild look in his eye just like his dad. I dragged him away.

  Tony jumped in. ‘Let’s get the gun,’ he said, and rushed forward to pull the gun from the Nazi’s hand. As he did, he gave him a swift kick in the ribs and the Nazi made a gurgling sound. He was alive, but he wasn’t going to touch us.

  ‘Quick! Let’s get out of here! Run!’ Tony said, and we were off with our legs moving like pistons. In a minute, we were out of the woods and back to the camp. When we got there we threw ourselves on to the ground, breathless and sweating. I thought I was going to be sick again and tried to control the urge to throw up. Dan was ready to burst into tears, but Jamie and Tony were high as kites.

  ‘Jesus,’ Tony said. ‘Did you see him go down? What a strike, Jamie! You saved my goddamn life!’

  ‘Christ! Did you see him with that gun? I’m sure he’d have killed us. I mean, he’s had plenty of practice. God, I nearly shat my pants there!’ Jamie said.

  ‘Right, let’s get moving. We can’t stay here,’ Tony said, stuffing everything into his duffel bag.

  ‘We’ll go along to the sewer pipe. Nobody will ever find us there. Down by the viaduct. We’ll hide out there,’ I said. ‘If the Nazi was able to find us, then that means they must be out looking for us.’

  ‘How did he know where to look for us?’ Dan said. ‘I mean, he’s not even from here.’

  ‘Yeah, but he goes walks and stuff sometimes in the early morning to shoot rabbits. He knows a lot about around here. I guess he must have seen the smoke or something.’

  When we got to a hill overlooking a deep clump of trees, Tony threw the rifle away. We listened as it tumbled through the thick blackness of the trees below.

  *

  ‘I’m starving,’ Jamie said. ‘Are you sure there’s nothing else to eat, Tony?’

  Tony emptied the duffel bag on to the ground. There was one piece of bread and a small chunk of red cheese.

  ‘That’s it,’ he said, apologetically. ‘We’ll have to keep the bread until tomorrow morning, then one of us will have to sneak up to the farm and see what we can get.’

  It was already getting dark and we huddled inside the sewer pipe, cold, tired and hungry. On top of that it was pouring with rain outside and all our attempts to light a fire kept failing. We were scared to light it inside the sewer pipe in case we got trapped, so we just sat there, our clothes damp and our bodies chilled even though it had been warm in the afterno
on when the heavy shower of rain had started. We watched the drips gathering on the roof of the sewer pipe, then plopping on to the ground. All I wanted to do was go home, but I didn’t dare mention it. Tony didn’t feel the same. I knew that much. Since the Nazi had tried to kill him in the afternoon he knew there was no way back there and that was what made it all the harder for the rest of us. We couldn’t leave him no matter what. And Jamie was determined he wasn’t going back either, though he was worried about his brother and sister and his mum. Nobody was having fun any more. We were stuck and we had no idea what we were going to do.

  ‘Tomorrow morning, first thing, I’ll go up to the farm. I’ll creep up even before they are out of bed and break into their house and take some stuff from the kitchen,’ Jamie said, trying to convince us that all was not lost. ‘I might even get some bacon.’

  ‘God, I’d love a bacon roll right now, with some brown sauce on it,’ Dan said, his eyes picturing the crispy bacon on a buttered roll.

  ‘Don’t think about,’ I said. ‘It will make you feel worse.’ But my mouth was watering at the thought of it.

  ‘Let’s try and get some sleep,’ Tony said, lying back and trying to make himself comfortable. ‘Here, Kath,’ he said, handing me his duffel bag. ‘You lie your head on that.’

  ‘Thanks,’ I said, gratefully, worried that the damp sewer pipe would be crawling with all sorts of stuff in the night.

  We lay down, huddled against each other, our arms all entwined. Nobody was sleeping, but we all closed our eyes and hoped that sleep would come. I prayed that we would wake up and it would all have been a bad dream, like all the other vivid, scary dreams I had nearly every night. The rain battered down outside and the night grew so dark we couldn’t even see the light at the end of the sewer pipe. I felt my body jerk and shiver, but I was feeling hot all over.

  ‘I’m sweating,’ I said to nobody in particular.

  ‘How can you be sweating? It’s freezing,’ Jamie said.

  ‘Maybe you’re sick,’ Tony said.

  I cuddled closer to them but couldn’t stop myself shaking. My teeth were chattering, but there was sweat running down the back of my neck. I wondered if I was going to die and I pictured what it would be like walking in slow motion up to the gates of heaven to be met by St Peter in his big white flowing gown. I imagined him waving me in.

  ‘This is a better place, my child,’ he would say. And I would glide in there and see everyone who had ever died and gone to heaven. It would be packed.

  I wondered if Barney Hagen was there, and Tommy Lafferty. Maybe Barney would nod to me to let me know that everything was all right and that he knew it wasn’t me who spread the lies about him.

  There were clouds and angels and then this great cool, happy feeling as I drifted off to sleep.

  I felt something strange on my hand and I thought at first I was dreaming. I moved my fingers and it stopped, then I felt it again. It was something jaggy on my hand. My blood ran cold. I turned my head slowly and in the darkness tried desperately to focus. It was only the glint of the eye that I saw, but it stopped me breathing and I lay perfectly still. The rat looked up at me, twitched its nose and scurried away, climbing over Dan’s feet. I turned my head around behind where Tony was lying next to me. There was another rat crawling around his head. I was terrified to scream because I had heard somewhere that a cornered rat would attack. I nudged Tony, who moved slightly and the rat scurried away. I nudged him again. He opened his eyes, immediately awake, sensing danger.

  ‘Rats! Tony, there’s rats everywhere!’ I said, my voice trembling.

  ‘Jesus!’ He didn’t even stop to look. He got to his knees in one swift motion and then kicked hard against the side of the sewer pipe.

  ‘Piss off!’ he bellowed, and Jamie and Dan were up like a shot.

  ‘What the hell …’

  ‘Rats! Quick! Let’s get out of here!’ Tony shouted.

  ‘Oh fuck!’ Jamie said, and he crawled out of the sewer pipe followed by Dan, Tony and me. We reached the end of the pipe and glanced back. It was beginning to get light and we could just catch a glimpse of the rats scurrying away back to wherever they came from, deep down the sewer pipe. There were dozens of them. I thought I was going to be sick.

  ‘Oh Christ!’ I said, feeling faint. ‘Oh God! What if they had eaten us alive? It’s just like Barney Hagen told me while he was a prisoner with the Japs. The rats came and ate soldiers’ legs and hands away. Oh God! That could have been us.’

  ‘Look, it’s all right. Don’t worry. They’re gone now,’ Tony reassured. ‘Anyhow it was our fault for being in their home. Never mind, we’ll just shelter under that tree.’

  The darkness was fading and we picked our way across to a huge oak tree and sat down. We were stupefied from lack of sleep and shock. I was shivering again and I couldn’t stop shaking. Tony wrapped his arms around me and held me tight.

  Chapter Twenty

  When I woke up, my head was pounding and my eyes were burning in their sockets. No matter which way I turned my eyes they were aching. My neck was stiff and even my skin was sore to touch. I could smell the fire and heard the crackling of twigs. My throat was like a furnace. I sat up and looked around me. Tony and Dan were sitting around the fire, their faces grimy.

  ‘Thought you were going to sleep all day,’ Dan said.

  ‘Howya feeling, Kath?’ Tony said, poking the fire and sending smoke billowing into the grey sky.

  ‘Knackered,’ I said. ‘I’m all sore. I think I’m maybe sick or something.’ It was an effort to say the whole sentence and I felt breathless. Something deep inside me told me I was going to die, and I shivered.

  ‘Where’s Jamie?’ I asked.

  ‘He’s gone to the farm to steal some food. He’s been away for over an hour now. He should have been back,’ Tony said, looking at his watch. He stood up and walked away from the fire, straining his neck to see if there was any sign of Jamie in the distance.

  I sat by the fire and the heat made me feel better. Dan gave me a tiny piece of bread and cheese and I ate it, wincing as I tried to swallow.

  ‘God, my throat’s killing me,’ I said, rubbing my neck.

  Dan threw another log on the fire and we sat on the damp grass waiting for Jamie.

  I felt like sleeping again and could feel my eyes drowsing. We had been sitting around the fire for ages, but still there was no sign of Jamie.

  ‘I think we should go and look for him,’ Tony said. ‘I mean, he should have been back by now. I … I’m worried something’s maybe happened to him.’ He looked worried too.

  ‘What if the Nazi’s got him?’ Dan said, getting to his feet.

  ‘Jeez, I hope not,’ Tony said. ‘’Cos if he has, then I will kill him with my bare hands. Honest to God I will.’

  I got to my feet unsteadily and felt my head pound. When I looked around, the trees were swaying a little and I had to blink to get my eyes into focus. My mouth felt dry and my hands were sweating.

  ‘C’mon, let’s go,’ Tony said, and we followed him across the field.

  We walked past the huge viaduct that dwarfed us with its size and strode across the field until we could see the farmhouse in the distance. There was smoke coming out of the chimney. Suddenly Tony stopped.

  ‘Ssssh!’ he said. ‘I thought I heard something.’

  We all stopped breathing, standing perfectly still, listening. Then we all looked at each other, our faces shocked and scared. It was the sound of whimpering. Jamie’s whimpering. We strained our ears to see what direction it was coming from. We heard it again. First a slow, moaning wail, then a sob.

  ‘Help me! Oh God! Somebody help me!’

  ‘Christ,’ Tony said, breaking into a run. Dan and I followed him.

  ‘Over there,’ I said, the pain and shivering suddenly vanishing as I ran towards the sound.

  We ran and ran through the tall grass until the sound of Jamie’s sobs became louder and louder. Then we stopped dead as we saw him.
<
br />   He was lying on his side and his face was chalk white, his eyes staring wildly as he pleaded with us. He didn’t even look like Jamie, he seemed to be in so much agony. Tears ran off his face and his hair was wet with sweat. Then I saw the metal sticking through his leg.

  ‘Oh shit!’ Tony said, throwing himself down beside Jamie. ‘It’s an animal trap! Christ! He’s caught in an animal trap! Oh Jamie! Jesus, Jamie!’

  ‘Oh no!’ Dan burst into tears. ‘His leg’s hanging off! Oh no!’ he sobbed.

  ‘Get me out of this! Please! Oh please, Tony! Oh, my leg! My leg! It’s killing me! Stop the pain! Tony! Stop the pain! Please!’ Jamie pleaded, water running out of his mouth as he slumped back on to the grass.

  ‘Don’t move,’ Tony said. ‘Don’t move, pal. We’ll get you out! You’ll be all right! I promise.’ There were tears in Tony’s eyes.

  We all knelt down beside Jamie and examined the metal. It looked like a jagged piece had snapped through his ankle and stuck right through the flesh to the other side. Blood oozed out of his ankle and through his shoes.

  ‘Quick, Dan! Run to the farm. Tell the farmer he’s got to come quick. Tell him a boy is trapped!’ Tony said, and Dan was on his feet and running immediately.

  It only seemed like a minute before the farmer and his wife came racing across the field. The farmer was carrying some kind of contraption that looked like giant wire-cutters. His wife was running with a basin and some cloths. They were shocked when they saw the state of Jamie.

  ‘My God!’ the farmer said, turning to his wife. ‘Get an ambulance. This boy’s badly hurt.’

  Then he turned to us and said, ‘What are you doing here anyway at this time of the morning?’ We all stood quiet. Jamie was sobbing.

  Then the farmer looked at his wife, and suddenly they seemed to know who we were. But they said nothing. She ran to the house while the farmer knelt down and tried to comfort Jamie.

  ‘It’s all right, son … you’ll be all right. I’ll get you out of there. Christ, I’m sorry, son. But the trap is for the foxes. They’ve been stealing my chickens every night. Jesus, son, it wasn’t meant for a wee laddie.’