Love Me or Leave Me Alone

by Nikisha Mock

  As Ayanna talked, I began to have thoughts of all the things I wanted Tyler to do to me one day.

  “Eva! Eva, girl what is wrong with you?” Ciara was yelling and snapping her fingers in my face.

  “I know my story was hot and steamy, but damn, what are you thinking about?” Ayanna laughed.

  I was blushing. All I could do was laugh and fan my face.

  “I bet I know what you were thinking about. Or should I say who you were thinking about?” Ciara teased.

  I turned to her. “Girl, I don’t know what it is about that man, but I cannot get him out of my head!”

  “Who? I know you’re not talking about Damien. Girl, when are you ever going to learn? I’m telling you, if you get all wrapped up…”

  “Yanna! Girl, please! I am not hardly thinking or talking about that dog! I am talking about a real man, and potentially my new boo, Tyler,” I told my girl.

  “Oh, I was about to say c’mon now,” Ayanna tried to laugh off the situation. “Now did you hear any of what I said?”

  “Honey, believe me, I heard enough,” I chuckled. “So when are you going to see Mario again?”

  “Not soon enough!” Ayanna exclaimed and we all laughed.

  “I say if he makes you smile this much, he’s at least worth exploring. Have fun with him, and if you decide to try to make something else out of it then that’s fine too,” Ciara said.

  My girl Ciara. She’s always so positive and optimistic. Sometimes I wonder if she’s not too easygoing. I mean, being a positive person is one thing, but being too trusting is something else entirely. I hope Jay knows what a wonderful woman he has in Ciara. Damien should’ve known what a wonderful woman he had in me, but obviously he didn’t. Just when I thought things were finally falling together for us, he pulled the ultimate betrayal.

  Later that night, after the kids were already in bed, I was playing online Monopoly when my phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognize.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi sexy,” a smooth male voice answered.

  “Hi” I smiled, knowing immediately that it was Tyler.

  “How are you tonight?”

  “Oh I’m just enjoying a quiet evening at home playing on my computer.”

  “Sounds like a lot of fun.”

  “C’mon Tyler, I’m bored as hell. I was just trying to pass some time by. You know good and well that doesn’t sound like fun,” I laughed.

  He laughed too. “Sounds like I called at the right time then. So, what have you been up too lately, Miss Eva?”

  “Same stuff, just a different day man. What about you? How many women do you have stashed away for rainy days?” I laughed.

  “Whoa, what’s that all about? Who said I had all these women stashed away?” Tyler laughed.

  “Don’t even front, Tyler, I know there’s someone in your life,” I said, silently praying for the contrary.

  “There’s no one special in my life right now. I’m just taking my time until the right woman comes along.”

  Is he for real? How can someone so perfectly beautiful be single?

  “What about you, Eva? What’s up with you and Damien?” Tyler asked.

  Touché.

  “There is no me and Damien,” I replied dryly.

  “Well alrighty then, next question,” Tyler joked as he could sense the tension in my voice.

  I smiled. “Thanks. So, what’s got you so interested in my life all of a sudden?”

  “Eva, I have always been interested in you, but you’ve been over there playing wifey for that pretty boy so I never stepped to you like that. You’re gorgeous, and you deserve much better than him. Don’t you know that, Eva?”

  Tyler’s sincerity caught me off guard. I had no idea he even thought of me in that way. It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen him. The last time I saw Tyler, he was with some girl at a basketball game so I figured that was his girlfriend. Now here he was, saying all these wonderful things about me and acting as if he’d loved me all his life. I needed a little more clarity.

  “You never said anything to me or even looked at me twice whenever you saw me. Besides, all you’ve said was that there’s no one special in your life. That doesn’t mean that you’re unattached. I’m just getting out of some drama, and I am not looking for any more.”

  “I know that, and I would never bring any drama to your doorstep. When I say there’s no one special in my life that’s what I mean. I’ve been talking to this girl, Karen, off and on for a while, but it never turned into anything more than a few dates. So to answer your question, yes I am single and I would love to get to know you better.”

  I honestly didn’t know what to say. He was being so honest with me which was a definite turn on, but I was still wondering what the catch was. It’s sad, but whenever I meet a new guy, I always wonder when the BS is going to kick in. I’m always waiting for him to show his true nature.

  After being treated so badly by men, I expect the bottom to fall out at any moment. Each time it does, I’m a little less shocked.

  I’ve heard so many of my girls say that they know their man is cheating, but as long as it’s not in their face, they can live with it because all men cheat. I used to think that was just the mentality of a desperate woman who’d put up with anything just to keep a piece of a man. Then I met Damien and became that woman. Once I decided I was done, I put up this huge wall to protect my heart. I didn’t swear off men but I didn’t put anything past any of them either.

  I guess I was quiet for a little too long because Tyler said, “Eva? Are you still there?”

  I laughed a little. “Yes, I’m still here. Sorry. I guess I was just caught up in my thoughts.”

  “You want to talk about it?”

  “Nah, that’s okay. Listen, if you’re serious, I just may take you up on your offer. But be sure you’re ready. I really don’t have time for any more games, and I definitely don’t need any more drama in my life, okay?”

  “A’ight. All I want to do is get to know you a little better. If something develops during the process then hey, that’s even better. I just happen to think you’re fly as hell, and I need to find out what’s behind that sexy smile of yours.”

  He did it again. I swear it was like Tyler had a sixth sense that enabled him to say exactly the right things at precisely the right times. I was not to be fooled by this though. Many men know how to use and manipulate words to make a woman feel like she could walk on air. We disconnected the call, and I spent the next few minutes just going over all the possibilities in my head.

  Was it possible that I could begin to like Tyler in a way that I had never even considered before? And if I did start to get into him, how long would it take for the real Tyler to show up and break my heart? I was already preparing myself for the worst.

  Chapter 5

  “Eva! Open the door, please!”

  I jumped up and ran to the door frantically. I peeped out, then yanked the door open.

  “Oh my God! What is wrong with you?” I yelled.

  Ciara was pacing back and forth. “I can’t believe this shit! All these years, I’ve been putting up with Jay and never questioning him. Then today I run into his baby’s momma and she has the nerve to try to go off on me? Oh hell no. I wasn’t having it!”

  What she was saying didn’t make sense. Ciara has always gotten along with Jamilla. I don’t understand the sudden change.

  “Whoa whoa, hold up. I thought you and Jamilla were cool. She and Jay have been broken up! What gives?” I asked.

  “Eva, I don’t know but the bitch is crazy! I was at the grocery store when we bumped into each other. When I saw her, I smiled, but she wasn’t having none of that. She started coming at me sideways talking about I’m taking money from her kid. She was saying Jay ain’t been paying because he trying to do for me and my sadity ass. Before I knew it, me and homegirl was having a knockdown drag out on aisle three. I tried to pull all that blue weave outta her damn head. She don’t know me, but
I bet her ass do now!”

  Ciara was talking so fast spit was flying out of her mouth. She was hot and I was too. The nerve of some women!

  “Girl, that is some crazy shit! What would make him tell her he’s spending more money on you and not paying his child support like he should?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, but I will be finding out, best believe that! Got me fighting in grocery stores and shit. That ain’t even my style. I was so embarrassed afterwards. The store manager said he was calling the cops so I dropped Jamilla’s ratchet ass on the floor and bounced. She didn’t get up. Trust me, she didn’t want no more problems,” Ciara said.

  I chuckled. “I know that’s right. I didn’t know you had it in you. But if it had to go down, then it is what it is. Let no chick disrespect you like that.”

  “Exactly,” Ciara said.

  She flopped down on my couch and started wailing. I put my arm around her and let her cry it out.

  Men. I’m about sick of them altogether.

  Chapter 6

  Even though I was slowly getting fed up with men, Tyler managed to grow on me. We had a comfortable connection. Talking to him was easy. It never felt forced, and we never ran out of things to talk about. He was actually taking the time to get to know me without being pushy or forceful.

  For our first date, he took me to the restaurant of my choice, my favorite Japanese steakhouse. Dinner was amazing. The conversation we had left me feeling like maybe I could be really into him.

  I was starting to wonder what Tyler’s deal was. He seemed cool now, but when was the other shoe going to drop? I shook those thoughts off for the moment and began getting ready for our second date.

  Earlier that day, I had my hair cut into a stylish and short look. I took a long hot bath and soaked in my favorite coconut scented bath beads. After my relaxing bath, I dried off and rubbed down in Shea body butter which left my skin feeling radiant and smooth.

  I’d chosen a brown halter dress that accentuated all of my curves. I pulled out a pair of stilettos to match, knowing it would pimp out my thick legs and ass because my walk is mean when I have on a pair of get ‘em girl heels! I can’t wait for Tyler to see me. For the first time in what feels like forever, I feel confident, sexy, and ready to show my new look off to a guy that was someone other than Damien.

  Damn. Even when I’m not thinking about him, I’m thinking about him. Nope. Forget him. It’s his loss and possibly Tyler’s gain.

  When my doorbell rang, I gave myself a quick glance in the mirror by the door before I opened it. When I did, my knees wanted to buckle right then and there. Tyler looked even better than he had the last time I saw him.

  “Hey, Eva, baby, what’s up?” he asked as he came in and kissed my cheek. Damn Eva get it together girl, say something to the man.

  “I’m good, Tyler. How are you?” I managed to ask.

  “Damn right, you’re good. Good for me,” he smiled. “You look real nice, Eva.”

  I blushed. “Thank you. You clean up nicely yourself.”

  “Thanks, I think,” he laughed.

  “Where are we going Mr. Man?” I asked.

  “Since we ate Japanese last time, I assume it’s your favorite right?”

  “Of course it is! Who told you, Ciara?”

  “Nah, but I do know of this nice place called Lil Tokyo that I thought we could try.”

  “I love Lil Tokyo,” I said trying to keep my voice casual as if I dined there all the time.

  Lil Tokyo is an expensive restaurant in Charlotte that just happens to be one of my favorites. I don’t get to go very often because of the prices. I wonder if Ciara gave him some sort of heads up or something because Tyler was taking me to my favorite place to eat, and wearing my favorite men’s cologne!

  I am such a sucker for a man that smells good. There are some men’s fragrances out there that make me want to just drop my panties on the spot!

  “What’s that you’re wearing, Tyler? I really like it,” I smiled.

  “Oh that’s just a little Issey Miyaki,” he said.

  Damn, I knew it! Lord, help me restrain myself.

  “I thought I recognized the scent.”

  “Well, I’m glad you like it. Hey, can a brotha get a hug or something?” Tyler asked with his arms outstretched.

  Without saying a single word, I walked right into his arms and hugged him loosely around the neck while his strong arms encircled my waist. Standing this close to was pleasant. I could feel the electricity between us. Being in his arms like I belonged there felt so right. Tyler looked into my eyes for a long while before tilting his head and kissing. His lips against mine were so soft and passionate that I leaned into him and returned the favor.

  My fingers roamed the back of his neck while we kissed and kissed for a long while. When we finally did release each other, our eyes met. We mutually made up our minds that dinner was going to have to wait because the next thing I knew we were all over each other.

  My cell phone began to ring on the counter behind us. When I tried to turn to reach for it and make it stop, Tyler leaned forward and gently pushed up against me. While he kissed my neck and held my waist with one hand, the other hand reached around to caress my breasts before moving down to help me out of my boy shorts.

  I reached my hand behind me and rubbed his manhood through his jeans. A huge grin spread across my face that I was glad Tyler couldn’t see. I was performing what I call the ‘feel’ test. Whenever I’m in the midst of a possible “sexcapade” I always wait until the guy should be good and excited, and then I casually reach down and caress him to see if it’s even worth getting naked for. Needless to say, Tyler’s size excited me immediately and I could hardly contain myself. He began to grind up against me and my excitement went up ten notches. I managed to unzip his pants from behind and set my new best friend free.

  His breathing intensified as my fingers wrapped around him. I could feel him getting harder in my hand. His hand that had been around my waist went into his pocket and I heard the condom wrapper rip open. I got even more excited when Tyler placed it on the counter in front of us and the wrapper was Gold!

  Tyler placed first one finger inside me and then two. As soon as he felt the moisture gathering there he moaned in my ear and said, “Damn baby, all that and I’m just getting started on you?”

  Before I could respond, my dress was being pulled up and over my ass. Tyler continued letting his fingers do the walking while still kissing my neck and whispering in my ear about how wet I was. I tried to contain my excitement, but it was getting harder and harder and my breath was coming in short fast gasps.

  Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore of his fondling, Tyler moved his hand. In one quick motion, he entered me strong and forceful and just held it there. My breath caught in my throat with the sudden intensity of him filling me completely. I could feel him pulsating inside me. I wanted to move and grind against him, but I was afraid I’d hurt myself because he felt so big. He slowly backed away a little and began to move in and out of me in slow, rhythmic movements. Each time he pushed up inside me, I moaned. Each time he pulled back away from me, I hissed like a snake.

  “Yeah, you like that baby?” he whispered in my ear.

  “Yes, baby, I love that,” was my breathless response.

  He gripped my waist harder and forced me backwards into him, filling me up even more. Our rhythm and our breathing were in sync as he pounded me faster and faster. He slapped my ass and asked if it was good. I yelled that it was and asked for him to do it harder, faster, ooh yeah baby like that!

  Tyler was definitely a man who knew how to please and he whispered in my ear, “You going to cum for me, Eva?”

  “Yes Ty, I’m cumming right…right…noowwww! Oh shit, Tyler I’m cumming!” I moaned loudly.

  “Yeah, say that shit, baby. Throw it back. Give it to me!”

  I couldn’t say anything more as my legs started shaking. I squeezed my pelvis tighter around him as I came loudly
and furiously. Tyler increased his tempo. As soon as I began to come down from my rapture, he went even harder. He pulled my hair and I loved that! His rugged actions had me wetter than I had ever been in my life.

  He fit inside me perfectly, and I began to feel orgasms coming on in waves. I was shaking. I thought I might even shed a tear. I could feel him jerking inside me and he let out a moan so loud it turned me on too! As his thrusts slowed down like a treadmill coming to a stop, he still held onto my waist as he kissed my neck softly and tried to catch his breath, which was hot and heavy. Sweat had gathered between us. As he slid softly from my center, it felt so good that I didn’t want him to move.

  I turned to face him and wiped the sweat from his forehead. He turned his head to my palm and kissed it. He grabbed my hand and began to kiss the center of it. Who knew that felt so damn good? I guess it’s another uncharted area of the body just like that behind the knee thing Ayanna was telling us about.

  Tyler pulled his pants up a little and asked, “Where’s your bathroom?”

  “Down the hall, to the left. There are bath towels in the linen closet right outside the bathroom.”

  “Thanks.”

  While Tyler freshened up in the main bathroom, I retreated to the bathroom in my room to do the same. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and I stopped in mid stride. My face was flushed with color and I couldn’t get that goofy grin off my face.

  Eva, you’s a hoe is the song that was playing in my mind.

  Then I stopped smiling. I was thinking what a terrible mistake I’d probably just made. We’ve only gone on one date, but I’d just let him screw my brains out after being in my house for less than five minutes. Tyler must think I’m a ho for real.

  I was certain this definitely wasn’t going anywhere now. How could Tyler take me seriously after I gave it up to him so quickly? I know we’re grown and all, but some things are just better if you have to wait for them. The attraction between us was just too strong, though. It was like we looked straight through to each other’s soul and knew what we wanted so we took advantage of the moment. There can’t be anything wrong with that.