Hell Hounds Are for Suckers

by Jessica McBrayer

  CHAPTER 9

  Hades decided he’d had enough conversation. More like he went and got his leash and dropped it on my foot. I dropped my eyes to a suspicious wet spot on my shoe. The leash was less than attractive, you might say slippery. I fell into the gaze of Hades the hell hound; lying flat, like a sphinx, butt wiggling as he wriggled with that special brand of begging only a dog can project. I checked my phone for the charge, stuffed some cash in my pocket. I knew where we could pick up some wine on our little outing. I fastened his leash and we headed out the door.

  We moseyed along through my neighborhood and made our way to College Avenue. Hades did his business. I got hostile stares as people walked passed us. I was clueless and a little miffed until I noticed other walkers used little bags to pick up after their dog’s little deposits—or in the case of a hell hound—not so little. Oops. Have to get some of those. On a more positive note, hell hounds probably have super fertilizing power. For all I know, we’d been doing them a favor. College Avenue runs perpendicular to the University of California Berkeley or UC as people in the know call it. Close to the campus the street is a long stretch of apartments, mixed styles and eras. It is a nice street with tall trees and a certain college town look. The further towards 51st you walk the apartments segue into pockets of unique boutiques and what I like to call mini-mansions that line the streets. It’s an eclectic mix that fits Berkeley. College is several blocks above and parallel to Telegraph Avenue. I love the Telegraph area, reminds me of an aging hippie and not just because of the head shops. Lots of history, but a little down at the heels.

  The old-fashioned small store-fronts of College sell one of-a-kind products, anything from handmade soaps, organic produce, specialty cakes to children’s clothes and furniture. Nice toy stores - I love toy stores. Never know when I’ll need a present for a kid. Well, sadly, probably not often enough, but a girl can dream.

  We neared the Rockridge area and I sidled into Market Hall, a foodie haven, to pick up a good bottle of wine. I tied Hades outside before I went in. I was gone about fifteen minutes but when I came out - he wasn’t where I’d left him. At first I figured I’d tied him up somewhere else and had just forgotten where. But several puzzling minutes more and I realized he wasn’t anywhere that I could have tied him. I called his name. I was pretty sure even if his leash came untied, he would have waited for me. After all, the whole dog owning thing had come up because hadn’t left my side for days even when I tried to ditch him in the beginning. My mind knew he was gone, but my heart wasn’t ready to admit it yet. So I kept looking up and down and calling his name. In my growing agitation I admit I even tried the name Ares. An impossible idea was shoving it’s way into my mind—but as Sherlock Holmes said—once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

  . Someone had taken my dog.

  I panicked. My nose twitched like I wanted to cry. I don’t cry. I called Aidan.

  “Hannah, what is it? I can feel your distress from here,” he said sounding as if he were right beside me. He has seriously cool digital hardware.

  “Aidan can you help me? Someone has taken Hades. I don’t know what to do.” I stifled a sob but Aidan heard. Without the clarity of his voice changing he stood next to me. His warm Djinn arms wrapped around me in a reassuring hug.

  “Hannah, we’ll find him, don’t worry,” he said, stroking my hair like I petted Hades when he was upset. I looked into his serious Mediterranean Sea-colored eyes, the ones that rarely stopped twinkling, and saw a friend ready to help and sincerely concerned. And not just for me.

  “Aidan, he means so much to me already. I just need to get him back, safe and sound.” I sobbed. Aidan tried to suppress his discomfort. I realize I’m giving off unpleasant energy. Not cool. Energy is what he feeds on, must be like getting a bite of something bitter. Hopefully the people around us tempered my negative vibes. “Sorry, I’ll pull it together.”

  “Hannah, you know you have to call Diel,” he said gently.

  “I can’t Aidan.”

  “Hades is his hound too, Hannah.”

  “He is going to be so mad that I couldn’t take care of him,” I whispered.

  “I doubt that,” he said, shaking his head, still hugging me. “This isn’t your fault, Han. Call him. Besides, finding things is what he does,” Aidan reminds me.

  “I don’t know if I trust him completely not to take Hades back, Aidan.”

  “Hannah, he’s a good guy who’s had a bad time recently. He’s been stalked by this she-demon from hell – literally – that wants to be his mate. She keeps taking Hades to get him to match them up but Hades keeps running away. That’s why he was in the cemetery when you found him.”

  “Why doesn’t he just tell this bitch that he isn’t into her and be done with it. He is a demon after all. They are all evil assholes aren’t they?” I asked, afraid of the answer.

  “Hannah. I’m shocked. That’s very biased. Everyone thinks jinni are evil too and yet you know that’s not true. Has Diel acted evil around you?”

  “No.” I sighed. I hung my head in shame. I’m always the first to rally for the underdog and here I was being as prejudiced as the next asshole. I felt horrible. Aidan put his finger under my chin and raised my face up so he could look into my eyes.

  “It’s okay, Han. Lesson learned. Don’t beat yourself up,” he said as he smiled at me taking the sting out of my guilt.

  “Tell me more about this she-demon. What’s she done so far?” I asked. For some reason she had my hackles raised.

  “Her name is Josephine and she is beautiful and powerful. Not as high ranking as Diel. Her special power is bitchiness as far as Diel is concerned.” Aidan’s eyes got a wicked twinkle as he said this.

  “Why is she stalking him?”

  “Diel is rather a big catch is the demon world and now that he has a hell hound it won’t be long before he is mated up. That is a big bonus of having a hound. One of the reasons Diel got one. He’s been lonely and hasn’t found anyone and the hounds find The One for you.”

  “Wow. What else can Hades do?”

  “He can, as you know, bark fire. He can also give free passage to the underworld to a living person. That is a major power. For instance, you could visit the underworld without being dead and return unharmed with Hades at your side,” Aidan explained.

  “I need to get Hades back, Aidan and not because of all these powers.”

  “I know, Han. Call Diel.”

  I had Diel’s number. I cringed as I imagined what he was going to say. He could help find Hades, though. I had to call him, Hades meant too much to me. I scrolled through my contracts, and hit the call button.

  “Hannah.” Obviously he had me programmed into his cell. His voice sounded confident but pleased.

  “Diel, Hades was stolen.” My chin trembled, I cleared my throat twice because it had suddenly closed up and my voice broke. But I did not cry. Apparently he didn’t need to see me sob to get the picture.

  “What? Tell me what happened. Are you okay?” I took a deep breath. He was being nice maybe he wouldn’t completely blame me for losing our dog.

  “I’m fine.” I breathed another deep calming inhalation, which is really tough when you don’t have to breathe at all. “I tied him up outside Market Hall to get some wine, and then the deli guy, Riley, wanted me to try some new cheese and I bought some and then he asked me out and when I came out Hades was gone. I know he wouldn’t leave on his own, Diel. Someone took him.” He was quiet, I wondered if he’d hung up. Then I realized he’d been running through the scenarios when he spoke again.

  “You’re right,” he said puffing a heavy sigh. As far as I can figure out, demons in human manifestation do breathe. “Where are you, I’m coming to get you. We’ll find him.”

&nb
sp; I gave him directions and waited impatiently. Soon a black Porsche Carrera pulled up. Diel rolled down the window – figures he’d have a killer car. I grabbed for the door hopped in. I put my wine in the back seat.

  “Diel, I’ll go to Hannah’s and let you if he finds his way home. She has my cell. Call me if I can help. Anything. I am his godfather after all,” Aidan said. He patted the roof and Diel pulled away, not fast enough to appease my anxiety, but there were too many pedestrians to peel out and drive. I balled my fists up. Damn water kept leaking from my eyes.

  “Don’t worry, Hannah. We’ll find him,” he said touching my arm. “That’s what I do.”

  “I know. I looked you up on Voogle.”

  “Do you Voogle much?” He quirked his eyebrow at me, inviting me to elaborate. I didn’t. “What else did you look up?”

  “None of your business,” I snapped.

  “Hmmm.”

  “Please, can we just put our differences aside and find Hades?”

  “We will find him. Maybe we should get on the same page about what we’ll do. Do you have some super powers, Ganja Girl?”

  “Yeah, whenever we find out who took him, I will kick their ass.”

  “So, this Riley asked you out,” he said, casually a dead give away, but in my distracted state I barely registered the tell. Just nodded.

  “So . . .?”

  “So what?”

  “When’s your date?” I probably looked pretty frosty at this point. I was wondering if I should give him a good bite or punch him in the shoulder.

  “Can we just focus here?” I said - okay I may have growled. I won’t quibble about my attitude, I was very upset.

  He looked over at me and saw how serious I was.

  “The hound means a lot to you, doesn’t he?”

  “Yes, he does.” I admitted. “Sometimes you don’t really realize what you feel until you admit it out loud. He really meant a lot to me. “It’s going to sound cliché, but I didn’t think I was lonely until he moved in. He’s filled up a space that’d been empty.” I glanced at Diel’s profile expecting to see him smirk.

  “Understandable.” No grin, no cocked eyebrow.

  “So how does your super power work? Do you have some sort of homing device or something?” I asked him, sneaking another peek. Despite my uneasiness, his confidence dialed down my anxiety. Enough for me to notice he really was delish. Not like that wasn’t always at the forefront of my libido, if not my heart. But when the heart is reassured the libido starts its demanding little nag.

  “Something like that.” Clueless to the sex-check-in I’d just experienced. “I have to concentrate on the object I want to find and then I get a tug towards where it is. Right now, I think he is about three more blocks away.”

  But when we got there the signal was cold. We drove the streets in a grid. Diel would feel like we were getting closer and then the signal would dry up. His frustration and our worry escalated. We increased the area of the search and the signal, or whatever he felt went dead. Just about dawn, I was barely able to keep my eyes open and he drove me home.

  “Get some rest,” he said. “We’ll find him. I have to think about this. Maybe talk to Aidan. Something or someone is screwing with my power.” I nodded before staggering into the house and dropping to my bed. I was unconscious by the time I hit the pillow.

  I woke slowly luxuriating in the low rumbly demon voice that I was beginning to know so well and to the smell of Aidan’s secret blend of coffee. I reluctantly made my way to the shower. A deep melancholy was starting to sink in. What if we never found Hades? Getting another dog would not be the answer. I knew that deep down. Hades was different.

  After have dried off, pulled on jeans, I slid into a corset blouse and slapped some makeup on, I went in search of some morning elixir. I found Aidan and Diel sitting around my table sipping coffee. Well at least Diel was, while they waited for me. Diel’s eyes lit up when he looked up at me. Wowza. They sure are a wickedly stunning green. It took me a minute to realize that Aidan had been talking to me.

  “Hannah!”

  “Yeah, Aidan. What did you say?”

  “I asked if you wanted a cup of coffee.”

  “Yes please.”

  “Good morning, Hannah. Did you sleep well?” Diel said.

  “Good morning, Diel. Umm yes.” Damn if I’m not a bit breathy and doe eyed. Gotta get it under control. Aidan gave me a disgusted look. Diel laughed his rich, deep baritone laugh.

  “Ready to go look for Hades again?” he asked.

  “Let me just grab a to go cup and I’ll be ready. I think we should go and talk to Julian and Helena first. See if they can give us any insight.”

  “Who are Julian and Helena?” Diel asked.

  “Two very old, very wise vampire friends of mine who live in San Francisco. Julian is a scholar and Helena is an accomplished witch. Between the two of them, most problems are solved,” I said.

  “Sounds like a good idea,” Diel said. “Are you coming, Aidan?”

  “Well, since your car is a two-seater and you’re going to need it later and I don’t feel like hanging out as a bug today, I’m going to go and see Lilith, Helena and Julian my way,” he said. “Come, Hannah. Let’s go find our hound.” Diel took me by the hand and that tingling, falling asleep, zapping feeling shot through my fingers. I looked up at him and he was smirking. Double damn him.

  Diel held the door of the Porsche open for me and I got in. It’s a misconception that you can get into one of these things gracefully if you are close to the ground like me. Nope, I practically crawled and then fell into the seat. Vampire grace and all. Then the overlarge hotshot demon slid into his seat. Bastard.

  CHAPTER 10

  We hit the Bay Bridge and sailed through traffic thanks to some demon magick. Amazing how the toll light turns green mysteriously. I’ve had that happen with Aidan, but he does it for the pleasure of mischief. Diel was focused on our mission. Without any traffic, Diel really let the car move and it was good to go fast, felt like we were finally doing something. Hell yeah!

  Before long I was giving him directions, helping him navigate the Pacific Heights neighborhood my friends live in. We pulled up into the oyster shell driveway behind all the other cars and Diel rushed to get my door. I hid my smile.

  Aidan and Lily were at the door before we could knock. Aidan had his arm around her waist and Lily’s eyes were sparkling. Aidan whispered something to her and she burst out giggling. Somehow I thought it was at our expense. I looked up at Diel and his expression on his face reflected what I felt - annoyed.

  “Don’t scowl, Hannah. Introduce me, please,” Lily begged.

  “Lily, this is Diel. Diel, this is my best friend, Lilith Goodwill.”

  “Lilith, the first vampire. A pleasure to meet you,” Diel said while he shook her hand and grinned at her.

  “So I’ve been told. If only my parents had known the irony of naming me what they did.” Lily flashed a wistful smile and took him by the elbow to lead him into the house. “You’ll have to excuse the demolition zone. Helena is redecorating,” she waved her hand at the stacks of lumber, and materials spread out along the hallway Everyone is in the library and anxious to meet you and work on you and Hannah’s problem. We have to find little Hades,” Lily said with a frown. She had gotten quite attached to Hades.

  Diel looked back at me, panicked, as Lily dragged him off and I just smiled and shrugged. She has a way of being a social director. Taking every lost soul in whether they wanted taking in or not. Andrew and I could attest to that.

  I walked into the library to find Diel surrounded by Helena, Sebastian and Julian. Lily was busy making introductions. Aidan was next to me chuckling. I glared at him.

  “You knew she
would do this. Why are you glaring at me?” he said.

  “Because poor Diel is uncomfortable.”

  “You’re afraid the little bitty Demon Duke can’t handle a social butterfly like Lilith?” Aidan asked with a smirk.

  “Well no, not when you put it that way.”

  “I do believe you like the demon, Hannah.” Aidan’s eyes were positively glowing.

  “Shut up Aidan.” I went and parked myself across the room on the chaise lounge.

  “Please sit down, Diel. Let’s talk about Hades and how we can find him,” Helena said.

  Diel sat next to me on the chaise. It groaned under his weight but he didn’t seem to notice. I appreciated a man who wasn’t afraid of delicate furniture. Everyone in the room was staring at us. Diel cleared his throat. I just glowered at everyone, daring them to say anything. Julian snapped out of it first.

  “Aidan has told us about this demon who has been stalking you, Diel. We think it highly likely that she may have Hades. I want Helena to do some scrying and see if she has better luck. I’m not sure she will. If it is this she-demon blocking you then she will be blocking all psychic attempts to find them until she wants you to find them,” Julian said.

  “Does she have any special powers, Diel?” Aidan asked.

  “Being a pain in the ass. No, she’s good at escaping. She can get herself out of almost anything, which is good because she is always in trouble.”

  “Let me scry and see if I can pinpoint her for you,” Helena offered.

  Helena set up a map and took out a necklace with a beautiful crystal on the end. As soon as she put it over the map it started spinning. It circled the East Bay and more specifically Oakland. The crystal stopped on the intersection of two streets we had crossed yesterday. She looked at us and Diel and I said hasty goodbyes as we ran for the door.