[Measure of Devotion 01.0] Measure of Devotion

by Caethes Faron

  “So how do you think things are going to go when he takes you back home?”

  Kale shook his head. It took him a minute to comprehend the question. “What are you talking about?”

  “Holy Saints’ Day? Everyone’s going home. Didn’t you know?”

  No, actually, he didn’t. “I guess I never thought about it.”

  “They do celebrate Holy Saints’ Day where you’re from, right? You’re not that cut off from civilization.”

  “Yes, we celebrate Holy Saints’ Day, Charlie. My master just hasn’t mentioned it at all. I suppose he’s planning to wake up the day he wants to leave, and I’m supposed to have magically packed all of his trunks.”

  “That sounds about right. He’ll probably want to leave the day after classes get out.”

  “Thanks for the heads-up.”

  “Sure.” Charlie rose from the table. “I’ve got to go. But listen, watch yourself back home. I know you say this thing between you and your master is nothing more than the usual, but you could have fooled me. You’d better hope his father’s more dense.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” Kale could see the concern on Charlie’s face, and his words did nothing to alleviate it.

  After Charlie left, Kale sat at the table staring at nothing. Had he gotten too comfortable? Mr. Wadsworth was a fair slave master, but he wouldn’t tolerate any kind of impropriety between Kale and his son. There was no reason to worry, though. There would only be cause to worry if Kale had developed feelings for Jason, and despite what Charlie said, that simply was not the case. Everything should be fine. Really. It had to be.

  Nineteen

  Jason watched Kale sleep through the jostling of the carriage. Jason was usually the first one asleep and the last one up, so it was nice to be able to watch Kale. It was interesting how much a person’s appearance changed in sleep. Kale retained his look of confidence and surety, but he also took on a look of tranquility, as if during the day he had the weight of the world on his shoulders and handed it off to someone else while he slept. It would be easy to look at him and think of him as a powerful businessman, commanding the lives of thousands of workers, or a politician running the country. Kale would be good at both those things, but he would never be allowed to venture into those worlds.

  Jason desperately wished he could free Kale, but no law or legal procedure provided for it. Freedom would change so much in their relationship. Of course, Kale would then have the option to leave, and Jason couldn’t help thinking that he would if he could. As things were, he didn’t doubt that Kale wanted to be with him. But Jason wasn’t naïve enough to think that if faced with other options, Kale wouldn’t run to any of the better opportunities that would present themselves.

  A few months ago, he would have thought it sad that his only significant relationship was with a slave. In that time, he had come to a keen awareness that Kale was a better person than he in every way. When it came to character, Jason knew who was master in this relationship. He had done too many terrible things in his life to ever hope that he could measure up to the man sitting across from him.

  Jason didn’t realize just how long he had been staring until Kale began to stir. Seeing Kale’s face undergo the transition from sleep to wakefulness made him smile. Before long, the restfulness was gone, and the responsible slave with the weight of the world—or at least one inadequate master—on his shoulders stared back at him.

  Jason couldn’t help the attraction he felt to Kale. While Kale slept, it had been easier to keep his physical desires at bay. Now that Kale was awake, Jason found it hard not to pull him across the carriage and kiss him. Kale, still rubbing sleep from his eyes, probably wouldn’t appreciate it. “Did you have a nice nap?”

  “Yes, Master.”

  Jason’s desire wavered, and he grimaced. “I wish you wouldn’t do that, you know.”

  “Do what?”

  “Call me master.”

  “It’s who you are.” Kale was so matter-of-fact that it irritated Jason. Of course it’s who he was, but he didn’t go around calling Kale “slave,” did he? It was so irritating trying to argue with Kale; he was always so damn logical.

  “I wish there were other words you thought of me as first.”

  “Yes, well, it seems like a dangerous habit to get into, calling you something else, when we’re on our way to see your father.”

  Jason sighed. “I suppose you’re right.”

  “Of course I’m right. Next thing you know, you’ll be telling me to sit with the two of you at dinner. It’s almost like you want your father to skin me alive.”

  Jason shuddered at the picture. His father wasn’t a cruel man, but having a slave sit in his presence, much less at the dinner table, would push him to use a whip. “You know that’s not true. I just wish you were free. It feels as though I’m taking my intended to meet my father more than it feels like traveling with a slave.”

  Kale smiled. “Thank you for the compliment.”

  “You do know that I’d free you if I could?”

  Kale pursed his lips as he did when thinking things over. Jason appreciated that Kale always gave careful thought to his answers, but it made him want to kiss him even more.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “Good. I don’t think of you as a slave anymore, but I can understand it’s dangerous for you to behave like a free person.” Dangerous was an understatement. There were laws on the books to keep slaves from impersonating free citizens. It was acceptable, and even common, for owners to become close to favored slaves, but there was always a distinct boundary between free and slave, no matter how casual the relationship. If an owner was caught violating the slavery laws, he was required to pay a fine and forfeit the slave. The thought made Jason nauseous. He didn’t know what happened to the slave; he had never thought to ask.

  “Speaking of that, it’s probably best if I’m on the floor when we arrive at your father’s house.”

  “Sure. You’re right, as always.” Jason was sulking. He knew it, and he didn’t care.

  Kale reached over and turned Jason’s face to meet his. The gesture itself was comforting. At least Kale was willing to touch him without a direct order. “Hey, don’t be like that. Say the word, and I’ll bound out of the carriage and grab your father in a bear hug and call him dad. He’ll probably die of a heart attack, and then we won’t have to worry anymore.”

  Try as he might, Jason couldn’t contain his laughter, no matter how much he wanted to indulge his desire to sulk right now. “As much as I’d like to see that, I think having you behave is safer.”

  “You are very wise, Master.” Kale said it with such a solemn face that Jason surrendered himself to laughter once again.

  Twenty

  When they pulled up in front of the house, Kale knelt appropriately on the floor of the carriage as Jason carded a hand through his hair. There was a part of Kale that despised himself for the amount of comfort he drew from Jason’s gesture. It wasn’t right for him to want his master’s touch this badly. Then again, his knees screamed from the hard floor, and there were nerves in the pit of his stomach. Any gentle touch was welcome.

  The loss of Jason’s hand when he stepped out of the carriage made Kale realize just how effective Jason’s touch had been at keeping his nerves in check. His stomach filled with butterflies as he followed Jason outside.

  Standing in the open, Kale felt lost. What should he do? Should he follow Jason, or was that too presumptuous? Should he help unload the carriage? Over the last several weeks, he had gotten sloppy. The line between slave and free blurred, and he found himself questioning every action. How should he behave around Jason’s father? The boys in Perdana wouldn’t raise a fuss about the way Kale and Jason interacted, but he wasn’t so stupid as to believe that Mr. Wadsworth would feel the same. Charlie’s warning from a week ago was ever-present in the back of his mind. Just as Jason had calmed him with his touch, he saved Kale again.

  “Kale, follow me.” Jason said it w
ithout so much as looking at Kale. It felt cold, and Kale noticed Jason dropped the “please” that had become so habitual between them that Kale had stopped noticing until it was absent.

  Thank the gods it’s fall, Kale thought as they entered the house. That was clearly the reason they hadn’t been greeted outside, because here in the entryway the entire staff assembled to welcome the young heir home. It would have been much worse without the small amount of time outside to gather himself and get direction from Jason. He stood behind, off to the side, and respectfully lowered his head.

  “Welcome home, Son. Was the ride from town agreeable?” Kale, keeping his head lowered, saw Mr. Wadsworth come forward and slap his son on the back in a perfunctory hug. The man seemed happy to see his son, and Kale wished he could see the expression on Jason’s face.

  “It was good. We made excellent time.” Gods, Jason sounded so formal. Couldn’t he warm up a bit around his own father?

  “Glad to hear it. I’ll let you freshen up for dinner; we eat in thirty minutes.”

  “Thank you, Father.”

  With that, the joyous reunion of father and son was over. Mr. Wadsworth went off to some part of the house while the slaves dispersed. Kale followed Jason to his room. In the space of thirty minutes, Kale got them unpacked and ready for dinner. There wasn’t time for talking, and Jason seemed preoccupied.

  Downstairs, Jason went into the dining room and Kale to the kitchen to prepare for the first course. The hustle and bustle of the kitchen immediately put Kale at ease. Even though he had only spent one morning in this house, he felt comfortable in this kitchen. The cook had been nice to him and, as always, the kitchen was clear of any masters.

  “Well, what’s this? Looks like you’ve survived all right.” Darlene was as jovial as she had been the last time he’d seen her.

  “Yes, ma’am. I’ve been lucky.”

  “Indeed you have. It looks like he feeds you well.”

  “Better than I deserve.” Kale gave her a smile and headed to the stove. “I’m to serve him tonight. How can I help get things ready?”

  “A kitchen full of slaves, and not one of them ever asks how they can help. Everything’s ready to go, thank you, sweetheart. Why don’t you just sit here and eat some soup while we’re waiting for the master to be ready?”

  “Thank you, ma’am.” It never fails, Kale thought. Act like you want to take the weight of the world off of a cook’s shoulders and she’ll make sure you never go hungry. It looked like he wouldn’t have to worry about getting enough food while they were here.

  The dining room was new to Kale. He never had reason to enter it the last time he was in this house. The table was big enough to seat twelve comfortably, but there were only four people present. Besides Jason and Mr. Wadsworth, there were two other men who bore no familial resemblance. Kale guessed that they must be business associates.

  Kale performed his duties flawlessly and unobtrusively. After serving Jason, he took his place against the wall behind, with an easy view of Jason’s glass to know when he would need a refill. Fixing his face with the blank look free men seemed to love on their slaves, Kale settled as comfortably as he could and listened to the conversation.

  “I thought we’d keep this dinner small. You’re probably exhausted from your trip. We’ll have everyone over tomorrow night to really celebrate your homecoming.” Mr. Wadsworth began to eat his soup.

  “Thank you for the consideration, Father.” Kale wondered if he was the only one who could tell from Jason’s tone that he had no desire to see everyone tonight or any other night.

  Throughout the soup course, the conversation consisted mainly of Mr. Wadsworth and the other two gentlemen telling Jason all the news of what had happened since he was last home. Jason didn’t act interested in any of it, but that didn’t seem to deter them.

  Abruptly, the conversation took a turn that caused Kale to perk up his ears.

  “How’s this slave working out for you, Son? I’m a little surprised you brought him with you.”

  “He’s great, Father. Thank you. I never thought to leave him behind. His service has become invaluable to me. I’m so glad you didn’t give me Demetri as I had wanted. Kale was the perfect gift.”

  Was it Kale’s imagination, or did Jason’s voice warm when he talked about him? Kale saw the curious glance Mr. Wadsworth gave Jason, and he feared it wasn’t his imagination. Robert did not look happy with his son’s sudden animation at the mention of his slave.

  “It’s good to hear that you like him. I had hoped he would be good for you.”

  “Oh he has been, Father. If it weren’t for him, I doubt I would have gotten such high marks this semester. He keeps my life running smoothly.”

  Kale wished that Jason would shut up already. He knew his master thought only to compliment him, but this was not the way a man talked about a man he owned. Kale found himself staring at the back of Jason’s head, willing him to be quiet.

  “Really? Well, I’m glad I got my money’s worth. I hope you’re keeping him on a short leash, though. You’ve got to remember to show him who’s master.” Robert glanced in Kale’s direction, and Kale made sure his eyes were lowered and that he looked the picture of submissive servitude.

  “I know how to handle my slave, Father.” Now there was a dangerous edge to Jason’s voice that worried Kale. There was no reason for him to get defensive, except Jason never could tolerate anyone speaking ill of those closest to him.

  Looking for a way to break the sudden tension, Kale refilled Jason’s cup, even though it wasn’t necessary yet. When that didn’t appear to ease the stiffness in Jason’s posture, Kale decided to risk speaking, even though it wasn’t appropriate without having been addressed first.

  “Is there anything else I may get you, Master?” Kale kept his voice soft, as if the thought of him ever being forceful or manipulating his young master was the most outlandish idea.

  The sound of Kale’s voice seemed to have the desired effect on Jason. Immediately, he relaxed. “No, thank you.”

  Kale returned to his station. When he faced the table, he caught Robert looking at him and felt the pit of his stomach drop. Instead of helping, he had made the situation worse. Kale had calmed Jason, and possibly prevented him from saying something he would regret, but his influence on Jason had been noted and was not appreciated. Kale mentally kicked himself. He had stupidly confirmed Mr. Wadsworth’s suspicions.

  Jason either didn’t notice or just acted as though he didn’t, and the conversation continued. Kale took care to make sure his service was impeccable, but every time he approached the table, he sensed Robert’s scrutinizing gaze. Made more aware by the observation, Kale couldn’t deny that Jason relaxed whenever he was near, that he always turned his body toward Kale when he approached to refill a glass or remove a plate. Kale felt like he watched Jason seal his own doom and couldn’t call out a warning. Kale wanted to tell him to stop it, to stop acting like he cared for his slave, but even if he could, it would be useless. Kale knew that Jason had no idea what he was doing.

  After dessert was cleared away, Robert tossed his napkin on the table and stood. “Jason, why don’t you join us for drinks and cigars in the lounge? Go ahead with John and Stefan. I need to speak to the cook, and then I’ll join you.”

  “Very well, Father. Kale?” Jason turned to Kale, bidding him to join him.

  “Why don’t you let Kale stay and help clear the table? I know the kitchen staff would appreciate the help. He can come to you when he’s done.” Robert looked at his son with a smile, as if everything was fine, but Kale knew that he didn’t intend to talk to the cook.

  “All right.” Jason looked at his father and then back at Kale. “Come to me when you’re finished.”

  “Yes, Master.” Kale bowed his head in acknowledgement.

  Once Jason and the other men were gone, Robert dismissed the other slaves. When he turned to Kale, all pretense of friendliness was gone. “Don’t think I don’t know what you
’re doing.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.”

  “Don’t play with me. You’ve manipulated him, and I won’t stand for it. I won’t have a slave taking advantage of his inexperience.”

  The comment riled Kale, and he met Robert’s eyes with cool control. “If you think my master is inexperienced, then you don’t know him very well, sir.”

  The crack of Robert’s hand against his cheek was more of a surprise than it should have been. Dammit, was he really this careless and stupid? This wasn’t Jason he was dealing with. Tacking a “sir” onto the end of a sentence didn’t make it respectful, and he damn well knew it. Still, it took all of his effort to do no more than clench his fists.

  “Watch your mouth, slave.”

  “If you have a problem with my behavior, sir, I suggest you take it up with my master.”

  “Your master is my son, boy. I gave you to him, and I can take you away.”

  Kale was caught off guard. Did Robert still hold his title? The thought chilled him. If that were the case, he could take Kale from Jason, and even worse. Without Jason as a safety net, Kale felt the indignation leave him to be replaced by dread. His first instinct was to beg. It took every ounce of self-control to keep from falling on his knees, bowing his head to this man, and begging him not to take him away. The picture of it disgusted him, but there were more important things to think of than his pride. If he let Robert know how much he wanted to be Jason’s, it would be a sign of weakness, an admission that there was something inappropriate between them. Kale knew that how he handled this could very well determine the course his life would take.

  Lowering his eyes, Kale spoke in a soft submissive tone, careful to sound acquiescent while trying to keep any trace of desperation out of his voice. “I assure you, sir, there is nothing inappropriate between myself and the master. He has simply become accustomed to me; he went through a terrible bout of homesickness, and my presence comforted him, reminded him of home. He was just nervous tonight. He’s been anxious about coming back here. I serve him with complete loyalty, sir, and he appreciates it, that is all.”