W.H.O. Files: Potions in the Pizza

by Mikey Brooks

  “I’m right! I knew you guys were hiding something.”

  “Emmaline, please.”

  Emmy sat back in her chair and crossed her arms. Ethan copied her movements. She fixed her parents with her best glare. The one that told them she was not happy at all.

  “Your mom and I have to go away for a little while.”

  “Oh, like that’s new?” Emmy said sarcastically. “How many days is it this time . . . three . . . four?” Mom gave Emmy a warning glance. Emmy forced herself not to roll her eyes.

  “We’ll be gone for about two weeks,” Dad said.

  “Two weeks!” Emmy and Ethan chorused

  “Look, there is a big case—er, thing with the family business. We need to make sure we tie all the loose ends on this one. We might be back sooner, but we wanted to give you enough notice should we actually take the whole time.”

  Emmy couldn’t believe what her dad was saying. Sure, they’d gone off on business trips for a few days, but never for two full weeks.

  “Who’s going to look after us?” Ethan asked. Mom smiled and leaned her hands across the table. She motioned for Emmy and Ethan to take them, but Emmy pretended not to notice.

  “You’re going to stay at Jaxson’s house,” Mom said. Emmy could tell she was trying to maintain her perfect smile. “Jefferson and Jackie are thrilled to have you stay so long. They’ve planned some fun activities. You don’t have to worry about taking all your stuff over. You can get it as you need it.”

  “When are you leaving?” Emmy spat the words like fire. Her mom’s smile faltered for a second then fixed itself.

  “Tomorrow. We’ll be back before Halloween. Probably in time to take you costume shopping. Have you both thought about what you want to be this year?”

  “Changing the subject isn’t going to get you off the hook.” Emmy stood up. Her mom’s smiled faded completely. “I hate this family. It really isn’t a family at all. It’s two parents that care more about their stupid job than they do their own kids!”

  “Emmy!” Dad stood as he roared her name.

  Emmy ignored him. She ran up to her room, making a point to slam the door as hard as she could. What do they care? They’re going on a trip for two weeks! It wasn’t that Emmy minded hanging out at Jax’s house. She actually liked his parents. It was the fact that there was something about tonight she had liked. As they played the domino game they were a family—a real family. At least the fun was real. The rest was a lie.

  I will never be like my parents. I will never join the “family business.”

  Chapter Three: Changes in the Lunch Menu

  Ethan double-checked his Star Wars lunch box to make sure his mom had actually put something in it this time. Sure enough, a turkey sandwich and chips smiled up at him. He hated to imagine what was on the menu today at school. Probably liverwurst and Brussels sprouts, with a side of slug salad. At least he knew that Jax’s mom would be taking over lunch duty. When Jax brought lunch from home, Mama J would pack him enough food to feed the entire fifth grade, yet he still managed to swallow it whole and ask his friends for more.

  “You got everything, baby?” Mom asked. Ethan gave a half-smile and nodded. She pulled him in for a hug.

  Ethan wondered how long his parents really planned on being away. His mom acted like they were never coming back. She kept calling him “baby.” True, he was the baby of the family, but she hardly ever called him that.

  “You sure you’re okay?” He’d asked her that question a half dozen times already, and she would nod and smile that strange, forced smile. He could tell something bothered her. Maybe it was this new “case-thing” Dad had mentioned last night? He did say “case.” That word made Jax’s theory about them being secret agents more plausible. One thing was for sure: they weren’t undertakers. Maybe they were lawyers? Lawyers for the mob. Ethan made a mental note to Google his last name to see if anything mob related showed up.

  “I’m fine, baby. I’m just going to miss you.” She gave him another big squeeze and tousled his hair. “I talked to Principal Fenwick. He said everything would be taken care of today. You let Jackie know if there are any more problems with that bully at school.”

  Ethan cringed inside. He’d already had his sister fight his battles for him and now his mother was doing it. Part of him hoped Principal Fenwick would ignore whatever his mom had asked. The last thing he needed was to be the theme of a school assembly.

  “Sure, Mom.”

  Her face returned to that concerned expression she’d had all morning. He hoped she still wasn’t thinking about Robbie Maser. It wasn’t that big a deal. Ethan could handle it. She needed to stop calling him baby and treating him like she was sending him off to war.

  “Everything’s packed and ready to go,” Dad said, shutting the garage door.

  “How come you guys are going to be away so long?” Ethan asked. His parents exchanged a glance before saying anything, as if having a telepathic conversation. Dad gave a nod and Mom forced a smile.

  “We’ll hurry back as soon as we can,” Mom said.

  Dad nodded in agreement. “And we’ll call you every night. You don’t have anything to worry about.”

  Ethan pretended to look reassured but inside he was conflicted. So many times they’d promised to call daily and didn’t. He knew they weren’t trying to ignore him and Emmy on purpose, but their work, whatever that was, kept them busy. He just didn’t want to look forward to a call that would never happen.

  Emmy marched into the kitchen and plopped her backpack down on the counter. Her ginger hair was pulled back in a braid as usual. Dad pulled down on it. “Ding dong.” Emmy made no sign that she even felt his tug. “Oh, come on, Emmy. Are you planning to stay mad at us the whole time?”

  “Pretty much,” she said, opening her lunch box and examining its contents.

  “If I promise to bring you back something, will you forgive us for going?”

  “That all depends on where you’re going.” Emmy looked back at him. “If you’re going to China, I want a Chinese dress. If you’re going to Mexico, I want a sombrero.”

  Ethan knew Emmy’s motives. Dad was the worst secret keeper. If Emmy guessed where they were going, Dad would give it away with a lift of his eyebrows. Emmy went on about different countries and the things he could get her. Dad’s eyebrows stayed still the whole time.

  “If you go to Japan, can you bring me back a samurai sword?” Ethan asked.

  “We are not bringing back weapons of any kind,” Mom said, washing the cereal bowls.

  “If you give me a hint where you’re going, I might be able to tell you want I want.” Emmy continued trying, but nothing worked. Mom dried the bowls and put them away. Then Emmy grabbed her jacket. “Time to go.”

  “Emmy,” Mom said, turning around. “I’m sorry I got mad at you last night. It really is my fault. We should’ve told you before playing games. It was fun though, wasn’t it?”

  Emmy shrugged and then gave Mom a hug. Ethan smiled. Emmy could be extremely stubborn, but he knew if she didn’t make up with Mom and Dad before they left, she’d just give herself grief the whole time they were gone. Dad wrapped his arms around Emmy and Mom, squeezing them together really tight.

  “I’m feeling left out,” Ethan said. His dad grabbed him and pulled him into the family sandwich. “Okay, that’s good. I’ve got enough family bonding.”

  “Ethan, you’re a dork,” Emmy joked. “Don’t forget your backpack. Hey, Dad, if you go to Moscow will you get me a fur coat? You know, one made out of wolf fur or something?”

  “Emmy, that’s morbid. They don’t sell wolf coats in Moscow.” Mom grabbed the car keys and they headed for the front door. Dad followed, sipping at his cup.

  “Okay, okay, no wolf coat. How about a gothic cross from Transylvania?”

  Ethan watched his dad’s eyebrow lift.

  Their mom pushed them out the door before Ethan or Emmy could ask another question abou
t Transylvania. They got into the car and she drove them to school. She made a point to get out of the car and give each of them an embarrassingly long hug for the whole school to see. Ethan felt like a kindergartener. Be good on your very first day. Make sure you tell the teacher when you have to go potty. Humiliating!

  “I love you both!” she said, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. “Jackie will be by after school to pick you up, and then you can go home and get whatever you need to stay the night. We’ll call as often as we can.”

  “You’re coming back, right?” Ethan blurted the question he’d been wondering all morning. She gave a slight hesitation as if trying to find something to say.

  “Of course, baby. We’ll be home before you know it. Now, you two be good to the Washingtons. I love you.”

  “Love you, too,” Ethan and Emmy said in unison. Mom got back in the car and waved at all the other mothers waiting anxiously for her minivan to move. She blew the kids a kiss and her car disappeared into the flow of traffic. Half of Ethan was mad that they’d be gone so long, the other half already missed them.

  “What’s in Transylvania?” Ethan asked, looking to Emmy.

  She shrugged. “Werewolves and vampires?”

  “Just in time for Halloween, we find out Mom and Dad are involved in the occult.”

  “Ethan, the parentals are the furthest thing from the occult.”

  Emmy was right. Maybe Jax’s theory was more on target. Maybe some psycho terrorist was shacked up in Draculatown and they needed to stop him? Or maybe the mob had connections with vampires? The warning bell rang. Emmy gave Ethan a smile before running to catch up with Hannah and her friends.

  Jax was at his desk when Ethan got to class, placing a tiny square piece of paper on his mosaic falcon.

  “Is that due today?” Ethan asked, slight panic beginning to well up in his stomach.

  “Nah, it’s due Friday, but I’m getting a head start.”

  “You mean you’re not done? It looks awesome!”

  “Thanks! No, I want to work on the background next.” Jax picked up his art piece and stowed it in his desk. “I also want to do a border like you see in all the old Greek mosaics. Did you know that most of the Roman mosaics were actually made by Greek artists? Yeah, they really knew their stuff.”

  “What do you know about Transylvania?” Maybe his best friend’s vast knowledge of history might shed some light on what else could be found in Spookville.

  Jax’s face scrunched up and Ethan imagined him mentally flipping through the hundreds of files he kept on useless information.

  “I haven’t done much research into Romania. I know that it was the setting for Bram Stoker’s novel, Dracula. There are several castles that are claimed to be Count Dracula’s real castle, but the most popular one is Bran Castle.”

  Jax’s knowledge amazed Ethan. “Wow, that’s more than I knew.”

  “Good morning, class,” Mrs. Burton said.

  The kids who hadn’t yet taken their seats scampered to them.

  She picked a sheet of paper off her desk and looked it over for a few seconds. “Before we start, there are a few announcements. Principal Fenwick has made changes to the recess staff. There will now be two members of the faculty as well as an office aid supervising the grounds. Apparently, there was an incident yesterday that caused some unhappy parents.”

  Ethan’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. Several kids turned and looked at him. He tried to ignore them. Jax offered a sympathetic grin. Ethan sat up taller.

  “We also have a new lunch room staff. For whatever reason, the district has seen fit to move things around. Some of your parents might have already told you, but the lunch room staff has asked me to share that the menu has been changed. Instead of meatloaf and lima beans, they will be serving triple cheesy pizza, french fries, and cupcakes. Aren’t you all lucky?!”

  A few kids cheered. Mrs. Burton smiled and continued reading her list. “We also have a new member of the faculty. Mr. Braffin’s fifth grade class will be taken over by Miss LeBeau. If you see her today, please make her feel welcome.”

  Whispers ensued.

  “The Barf Bag is gone! Did he get fired?” Misty Nelsen, a pretty blonde girl said behind Ethan.

  “I heard he quit,” Marcus Freely announced with authority. “My mom should know; she works in the office.”

  “A-hem!” Mrs. Burton cleared her throat and the chatting died. “Please, take out a piece of paper. I want to have a quick spelling quiz to get your brains working.”

  The classroom groaned and Mrs. Burton’s smile returned.

  Wow! I can’t believe it! The Barf Bag is gone! Ethan leaned toward Jax. “Break out an extra pair of your tighty-whities. Emmy’s got a new look to sport come tomorrow.”

  ***

  Emmy stared in wonder at the beautiful woman standing at the front of the class. Her sleek chestnut hair was short and stylish. Her bright clothes were fitted and fashionable. Her nails were polished a glimmering ruby red that matched her glossy lips. Miss LeBeau looked like a movie star.

  “Where are you from?” Madison asked.

  “I was born and raised in Paris, France. I moved to New York when I was seventeen, and began a life on the stage.”

  “You were an actress?” Abigail cooed.

  “Oui. I performed on several Broadway stages, including the famous Ambassador and Belasco Theaters. I was mainly a dancer.”

  “You dance?” Emmy nearly fell off the edge of her seat. This is the best day ever! The Barf Bag was gone and her new teacher was a dancer!

  “Oui, chéri. I used to dance for the most renowned ballet in Germany, the Hamburg Ballet. But that was many years ago.”

  “Wow, you’ve lived all over the word,” Tyler Johnson said. Emmy could see that the boys were falling in love with Miss LeBeau as much as the girls. Why not? She’s beautiful and she’s talking to us like we’re people, instead of scum.

  “So what do you want to learn today?” Miss LeBeau asked, sitting on the edge of her desk and crossing her legs with the gracefulness of a prima ballerina. Emmy was dreamy eyed.

  “You mean we get to pick?” Abigail asked. “Mr. Braffin never let us choose what we wanted to talk about.”

  “That is where Mr. Braffin and I don’t agree. My only rule in this classroom is that you learn only what you want to learn. I have found throughout life that a teacher can bore you to tears teaching something, but unless you are interested and actually listen, it is for naught. Une perte de temps.”

  “What does that mean?” Zachery Smith asked.

  “It means ‘a waste of time.’” Miss LeBeau placed her hands on her lap and beamed a glamorous smile at the class. “Now then, what shall we learn?”

  “Is this a trick?” Madison asked. “Like, if we ask about how you do your hair you’re not going to talk about that, right? Only like school stuff.”

  “If the class agrees that the subject today should be my hair regimen then, oui, we will discuss it. But I fear that subject would bore the boys.”

  “Can you tell us more about the Hamburg Ballet?” Emmy asked. Miss LeBeau locked her dazzling, green eyes on her. They twinkled with the radiance of an angel.

  “Is the class in agreement? Should we discuss the Hamburg Ballet?”

  “Ballet is better than dividing fractions,” Zachery said. The class murmured agreements and Miss LeBeau clapped her hands excitedly.

  This is the best day ever! Emmy cheered inside.

  Two hours passed too quickly. The class sat riveted with Miss LeBeau’s every word. Emmy loved Miss LeBeau’s slight French accent. She sounded so sophisticated and smart. Miss LeBeau’s voice rang with a theatrical glow. The lunch bell rang, rudely interrupting their lesson. Emmy reluctantly got up from her desk. The kids filed out into the hall, talking excitedly about the travels Miss LeBeau had taken while touring with the ballet. Emmy pulled her pink slip from her desk and walked over to Miss LeBeau. />
  “What is this?” Miss LeBeau looked at the paper like it resembled road kill.

  “Mr. Braffin gave me a pink slip yesterday for sticking up for my brother.”

  “Je ne crois pas! Why would he give a pink slip for that? It is your duty to protect your family, no?” Miss LeBeau took the pink slip and promptly tore it into pieces. She tossed the remains of the slip into the trash bin with a satisfactory sigh. “That will be our little secret. Now off to lunch.”

  “Will you be talking more about the ballet after lunch?”

  Miss LeBeau glanced into Emmy’s eyes, her own practically sparkling. She smiled. “Do you like dancing, Emmy?”

  Emmy nodded, a smile spreading across her face. She thought of nothing else but dancing. It was her dream to be a principal dancer and live her life on the stage. “I love to dance.”

  “I am glad to hear that. It takes great love of the art to become proficient at it. I started dancing on stage about your age. It took great discipline and coaching. Do you have a ballet mistress?”

  “No, I just try and learn it myself by watching videos and reading books on technique.”

  “An excellent beginning, but Emmy, if you are to succeed in your dream of being a dancer, you must get a mistress to teach you in the ways of ballet.”

  Emmy’s face fell. Getting her parents to even sit down for a few minutes and discuss her dreams was hard enough. Getting them to take her to a dance academy would be near impossible. Miss LeBeau placed a finger under Emmy’s chin, raising it to meet her eyes.

  “I see. I, too, had parents who were not supportive of my craft. I had to take on my own mistress. Is there any way you could meet with me after school?”

  “You mean you’d be my dance teacher?”

  “I prefer to be called a ballet mistress rather than teacher or coach. We refer to our ballet mistresses as madam.”

  “So Madam LeBeau?”

  Miss LeBeau smiled brightly. “Oui. Oh, Emmy, I would love to show you what I know of ballet, but know that it will not be easy.”

  “Oh, I know. But this is what I want!” Emmy thought of a way for her to stay after school. Perhaps if she got Madison or Hannah involved, one of their moms could pick them all up? She was sure Ethan and Jax wouldn’t want to hang out after school just so she could practice dancing. “If I were to get one of my friends to rehearse too, I might be able to get a ride from one of their moms. Normally, I go home with Jax’s parents.”