Cross Me

by Geneva Lee

  “Someone has to give the empty speeches.” That’s what it felt like, at least. The speaker currently on stage was outlining what sounded like an ambitious plan to make certain that children living in poverty received adequate nutrition. The speech they had passed to me with all the pertinent information would take me less than three minutes. It had taken longer to put on my stockings this morning. Maybe no one remembered I’d once helped execute campaigns to raise social awareness. Maybe they didn’t care.

  “Alexander once told me he went to war because he grew tired of being trotted out like a prize stallion.” Brex’s words were filled with sympathy.

  “Before or after you got stuck with babysitting duty?” I asked. When they’d first met, Brex had expected to waste his time protecting the Royal heir.

  A good-natured smile lit up his face at the memory. “After. It takes him a while to open up.”

  I cringed slightly at the implication. How much had he overheard between Alexander and I?

  Despite how his relationship with my husband had started, I knew that he sympathized with the position his friend was in. Brex also knew what Alexander was capable of—more than most. Neither of them spoke often about their time at war, but I had watched the two of them together and I knew the kind of respect that Brex gave my husband wasn’t given out of obligation. Alexander had earned it from him. I had never asked why. For whatever reason, Brex seemed to extend this respect to me. Sometimes, he seemed more upfront with me than Alexander.

  It was the last thing I wanted to obsess over before giving a public speech. Any other topic would be a welcome change of subject. Only one came to mind.

  “So you and Georgia?” I tipped my head in the direction of the woman, who was a few meters away scanning the audience.

  “That’s a favorite question from your family.”

  So I wasn’t the only one to notice. Had Alexander picked up on it, too?

  “That isn’t an answer,” I pointed out.

  “I like keeping it a mystery. It makes me seem cooler than I am,” Brex confided in me. Lowering his voice, he added, “And less like a loser.”

  Clearly, I had picked a sore subject. “Shot you down?”

  “I’m in security. I do risk assessment,” he explained. “I didn’t even try to breach the walls she put up. Whatever she’s protecting, I’m not getting past her defenses.”

  “You’re not even going to try?” I wasn’t certain why I cared so much about this. I wasn’t Georgia’s biggest fan, but I liked Brex and it was obvious to me he was hung up on her. There was no explaining attraction. Although I did wonder how much he knew about her. Brex, despite his self-assured attitude, didn’t strike me as being into the same things she was. Maybe he knew more about her than I thought. If Alexander had opened up about other things to Brex, had he shared his past with Georgia? “Is there a reason?”

  Brex shook his head. “It might not seem like a good one, but I think there are some people you can’t reach. Some people can’t change. Or maybe they just don’t want to.”

  “I don’t believe that’s true,” I said softly. There had been a time when Alexander couldn’t use the word love—a time when I’d thought a future with him was a fantasy. No matter what trials we faced, I remembered that we had chosen each other. I had reached him when it had seemed impossible.

  “Weren’t you the one punishing your husband earlier by sending away your bodyguard?” he asked.

  It wasn’t like Brex to speak so freely around me, but I didn’t mind. I had been the one to bring up his personal life. It was only fair that he be allowed to do the same.

  “Marriage isn’t easy.” I knew it wasn’t much of an explanation. “Neither is love.”

  “You’re really selling me on breaking down her defenses,” Brex teased.

  But never trying? How could I explain to him that it was still worth it? I had to try. “Love stories never really end. There are no happily ever afters. Love is fighting and compromising and choosing one person over and over again. No matter what.”

  “I guess that means you’re going to forgive him for whatever he did to piss you off,” Brex said with a low chuckle.

  “Maybe not immediately,” I confessed, but my spirits felt lighter. Maybe I would forgive Alexander. Maybe I would forgive him across his desk this afternoon. Then again, sometimes Alexander needed to sweat a little longer. Someone had to keep him in check.

  “Don’t worry. I want to… I don’t want to settle for…” His words faded away as a distant look came over his face. I recognized what was happening. Someone was speaking to him through the security earpiece he wore. I didn’t have to wait long for him to update her. I’d expected it to be an update, a heads up that they were nearly ready for me. Instead, Brex grabbed my elbow and gently started pulling me toward the hallway. “We need to leave here now.”

  It was remarkable how calm he sounded given the implication in that statement. I had been trained on this by Norris. When a member of the security team—as long it was it was my personal security—informed me it was time to leave, I was to do so without question. The problem was that I wasn’t very good at not questioning things. My head whipped around and I pulled against his hold, nearly crashing into Georgia.

  “What about those people?” I asked. The auditorium was full. Any threat I faced was also a danger to them.

  “Our job is to get you out of here,” Brex explained, tugging at me. I refused to budge. “Look, the important thing is to get you out of here now and then to make sure everyone else gets out in an orderly fashion.”

  I didn’t ask what the threat was, but if this whole building needed to be evacuated, it wasn’t good. “I don’t care what Alexander’s orders are. My life is not more important than any of theirs.”

  Brex looked like he was seriously contemplating picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. I silently dared him to try. I didn’t care how much I liked him. A move like that would earn him a swift kick in the gentleman’s sausage.

  Georgia moved forward and took my other arm. “I’ll get her out of here and you go help them.”

  He looked from me to her, a muscle twitching in his jaw before he jerked his head in agreement.

  “Stay on comms,” Brex barked, before disappearing back into the wings.

  I stared at my newfound ally. Georgia had sided with me. I didn’t know what to think about that. “Thank you.”

  “For what? You were being a stubborn ass and someone has to oversee the evacuation. He’s better at leading people.” She was less gentle than Brex as she dragged me out of the backstage area. “I’m less of a people person than Brex.”

  My arm hurt from her tight grip, reinforcing the truth of that statement. “You don’t say.”

  She guided me to the corridor, checking things out before allowing me to head toward the exit. Part of me—a very surprised part—found myself glad she was with me now.

  There really was a first time for everything.

  “Where are we going?” I asked when we didn’t head the direction we’d entered through.

  “I’m sure your husband would prefer as few photographers catch this as possible,” Georgia said tightly.

  I tried to ignore the pit opening in my stomach. Being taken out the back was never a good sign. I dared to glance over my shoulder and saw a line of people streaming out the front. It would be chaos to be with them there now. There was no way my security team could keep track of me in such a large crowd, which would only make Alexander panic more when he found out what was going on. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of being singled out. I had meant what I’d said. I was no more important than these people. At least, to no one but Alexander. Didn’t they all have their own families to go home to? Children or husbands or wives?

  We had almost reached the exit when the entire structure shook. I’d been in a few earthquakes when my family lived in California and I stopped, trying to remember what I should do. Georgia handled it for me. Her arms shot arou
nd my shoulders and we raced toward the exit until another small blast shook the walls. Debris fell from the ceiling and smoke poured from the center of the building. There were screams. Chaos. I wanted to help—to turn back. I didn’t have an option now, Georgia kept a tight hold on me, shielding my body. Two more small explosions rocked the building. I tried to ignore the first sharp spikes of panic and focus on the glass doors ahead. Only a few more steps…

  We were out the doors before I’d begun to process any of what happened. The moment the sunlight hit my face, I whirled around, yanking out of Georgia’s grasp and turning to stare. I was barely aware of the security forces swarming around me, pressing me back and away from the scene. On the outside, it didn’t look like much had happened. Had it all been my imagination? The building answered with a final blast, bigger than the others. The deafening sound split the air and a small scream escaped me as part of the roof caved in.

  “Brex!” I yelled, fighting against the guards trying to keep me back. Brex had stayed inside. He’d stayed because I’d asked him. Next to me Georgia stiffened as if she was thinking the same thing.

  “He’ll be okay,” she said fiercely.

  I wasn’t certain if either of us believed that.

  Before I could so much as say a prayer, Brex came out the back door, yelling, “All clear. Building is clear.”

  I relaxed immediately, and I noticed Georgia did as well. Brex ran toward us, his suit dirty, smoke smudges on his hands and face, but he didn’t stop when he reached them. Instead, he skidded to a halt a few paces past me, his attention on something slightly beyond us. The crowd of security guards parted and I turned to see the one man who could command any situation. The one man I most wanted to see and the one man who definitely should not be here. Because Alexander’s life did matter more. To the country. To the world.

  To me.

  He strode past Brex, giving him a cursory nod, but keeping his eyes on me. One step. Two steps. Ten more steps. And then his arms were around me, erasing, if only temporarily, the horror of what had just happened. He held me for a long moment, before the security teams began to move us towards the cars that had been brought around to get us out. He seemed reluctant to let me go, but when he did, I looked up to find his beautiful face as hard as stone. I knew that face all too well. His eyes were cold sapphires—set, determined, deadly. I also knew what came next. There was no escaping it.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  ALEXANDER

  I kept checking her—touching her—as if she might vanish if I looked away. Since we’d married I had always preferred to drive her, but today I let Norris take the wheel. I didn’t trust myself not to stare at her instead of keeping my eyes on the road. She’d faced enough danger today. I wouldn’t risk her again.

  Clara kept her face pressed against my shoulder. On another day, she might have done it to avoid the paparazzi. But the Range Rover’s windows were tinted and I suspected the reason Clara kept her face turned away from the glass was to avoid seeing the destruction outside. I’d had an initial briefing and knew the situation wasn’t as bad as it looked. Because it had looked bad—very, very bad. Somehow, now didn’t feel like the time to update her, though. Not while she was still shaking. Not while the memory was still so fresh. She would ask soon enough and then I would. Not a moment before.

  “Are we going home?” she asked in a soft voice. Her words were searching, her lost eyes looked into mine.

  I shook my head, knowing how she was going to react to this bit of news. She had a stubborn streak that I loved, but right now I didn’t want to deal with it. I wanted to be in control. Of something. Of anything. Later, everyone would tell me this wasn’t my fault, but it wouldn’t matter. I hadn’t put my foot down when others had changed the plans. I should have sent Norris immediately rather than wait. I wasn’t budging on what I wanted now. “I want you checked out by a doctor. Both of you.”

  She couldn’t argue with me on that, even as she looked to Norris, who gave no hint of having heard our “secret.” It might be poor form to bring up the baby, but I wouldn’t be able to focus until I knew they were both unharmed. I wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to my body, wishing I had never let her out of my sight.

  Most of the injuries from the explosion had been routed to a small hospital near the school. I wanted to avoid that, knowing the press would descend like vultures. It took us longer to get to St. Mary’s, but we had family doctors there. Right now, I needed to be surrounded by people I trusted. Norris had sent a team ahead of us, enabling us to utilize the south door. Since most of the media had swarmed the other hospital, it was an extra cautious move—one I appreciated.

  Doctor Ball met us at the entrance along with a nurse who had been present for the birth of Elizabeth. An ounce of weight was lifted from my shoulders at the familiar faces, not enough to make a difference—but felt all the same.

  “Your Majesty,” Dr. Ball said in a clipped tone, ushering us toward a private exam room. I appreciated him dispensing with the formalities in favor of getting down to business. “We’ll need to do a full physical exam. The nurse will take your blood pressure and other vitals.”

  The nurse bustled around the room, laying out an exam gown for Clara and prepping a blood pressure cuff.

  “We should do blood work as well and possibly have an ultrasound,” I said, stepping in. Clara had an appointment coming up where all of this would have taken place. I was unwilling to wait that long given the circumstances.

  There was a moment of hesitation. Then the nurse hurried to a cabinet and began prepping a needle. Dr. Ball smiled uneasily. No doubt he was remembering some of the complications Clara’s last pregnancy had involved.

  “I assume congratulations are in order then,” he said. “We can do our best to check her out and see what we can find out about the baby. We’ll do a blood draw and rush it to the labs.”

  “And the ultrasound?” I pressed, wondering if I was going to have to issue an actual command. I was teetering on a very fine edge. The wrong word was liable to push me over.

  “Unfortunately, we’ve been having difficulty with our machine. It might take a while to get one from obstetrics. I will phone down, of course.”

  “That won’t be necessary.” Clara’s trembling had subsided and although she still looked small and scared holding onto a folded hospital gown, her words were spoken like a queen’s.

  “We’ll leave you to get undressed.” The doctor stepped outside, holding the door open.

  “I’m glad you’re okay, your Majesty. We’ll take good care of you,” the nurse promised before disappearing behind the doctor.

  I turned away as Clara undressed, not trusting myself to the sight of her body. I wanted to touch her. To claim her. The need to possess her ached through my blood and burned deep into the marrow of my bones. “Don’t tell me you’ve developed a sense of shame?” she said to my back. It was meant as a joke, but her voice was hollow and lifeless. I couldn’t find the heart to even laugh. “You can turn around now, X.”

  Even the few moments with her out of my sight had been excruciating. My eyes drank her in as I turned, studying her. She was so physically fragile. I’d once believed nothing could break her spirit. Then, I had wanted to protect her body. Now, I couldn’t help but look for a sign she was cracking elsewhere.

  “Stop looking at me like that,” she demanded.

  “Like what?” Had she seen the naked want in my eyes? Was she still angry about this morning? Could it be possible that after what she’d gone through, she wouldn’t see why I hadn’t liked the idea of her going to the symposium?

  “Like I might shatter,” she said, her gaze darting away to the window and the world outside. She’d seen through to the truth I tried to bury inside me. She’d seen that I was afraid. “I’m not so easy to break, remember?”

  “I know.” But I said it for her benefit, not because I believed it. How much could one woman endure before it was too much? I never wanted to find ou
t.

  “Do we know…?” The question trailed away. I couldn’t tell if she wanted me to answer what I knew she was going to ask.

  I did anyway. This I couldn’t keep from her. “There have been no casualties reported so far. There have been some injuries and some people are being treated for smoke inhalation. All in all, it seems we were lucky,” I said, unable to keep the wild edge from my voice. A rational man—an outsider—would be able to see it that way. But I was no ordinary man and this was my wife. I couldn’t be rational about this. I couldn’t separate myself from the who and the what and the why.

  “Do we know why?” This question she seemed more sure of like she didn’t want this answer, she needed it.

  “We received some intelligence this morning—just in time. The assumption is that you were the target,” I told her. I wanted this to sink in. There was a time I wouldn’t have wanted to scare her, but I needed her to acknowledge that her life was different now. Clara craved control, but at what cost could I allow her to have it? Losing her was a price I was unwilling to pay, even if it meant a fight.

  “No one knew I was coming, only a few council members and our security team. It’s as likely this was a group of radicals.”

  It was a fair point, but I wasn’t about to concede. If there was even a one percent chance that someone who knew she would be there was responsible—it was unacceptable.

  “Why wasn’t Brex with you?” I asked, ignoring her rationale.

  “I sent him back. I wasn’t about to let a bunch of people get hurt just so I could make a clean getaway.”

  “Christ, Clara, that wasn’t your call. You could—”

  A knock on the door stopped my lecture before it got started. When Dr. Ball walked into the room, we were glaring at one another. He looked between us, probably sensing something was off, but didn’t say anything. The nurse bustled in and began taking vitals before drawing Clara’s blood.

  “She’ll send those to the labs now. That shouldn’t take long. But I did find this.” He held up a small instrument that looked like the baby monitor we used for Elizabeth.