tippingthescales_GEN
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Table of Contents
Excerpt
Tipping the Scales
Blurb
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
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Note from Michelle
eBooks by Michelle Hoppe
Michelle recommends … Sami Lee
Excerpt
Eugene felt Mary snuggle into his chest. Her body was soft, warm, and damn she smelled good. Looking over at Joe, he tried to let him down easy, “Sorry, buddy, I don’t think she’s interested.”
Mary’s body stiffened at his words. She pushed back from him, her angry eyes locking with his. “You ass. What the fuck do you mean?”
“Mary…”
“You asked me out so you could hook me up with this jerk.” Mary pointed at Joe.
“Hey, wait just a damn minute,” Joe whined. “I thought you said…”
“It doesn’t matter what he said,” Mary found it hard to control her mounting temper, “it’s what I say, you idiot.”
“But…”
“But nothing. I never agreed to date you and even if I had, you can’t honestly believe I’d fall into your arms in two-point-five seconds!” Mary stepped back. “As for you, Eugene, I hope you and Joe are very happy together.”
Eugene watched as Mary walked out the door. Turning to Joe, he tried to find something to say. “Joe—um, sorry, buddy.” Without further words, Eugene headed for the door. Scanning the street, he spotted Mary’s retreating back. She was walking briskly, putting as much distance between them as possible.
“Well, damn!”
“You blew it, Cupid.” A familiar voice spoke from behind him.
Eugene spun around to find George standing next to him. Fuck, he didn’t need this right now. “Ya think?”
“Yes, I…”
“George, do me a favor and shut up.” Without waiting to see if George was following, Eugene started walking home.
Twenty minutes later, he walked through his front door to find George already sitting on the couch. Great! “Someday you should try walking, George. It’s good for the heart muscles.”
“My heart is just fine, Cupid.”
“Oh yeah, I forgot, yer dead.”
“Don’t be rude. This is your plan, not mine.”
Getting a little tired of the reminders about his plan, Eugene responded, “That’s right. My plan. My way of doing this, so stop pestering me.”
“I’m not here to pester you, Cupid. Guinevere asked me to come by and tell you taking Joe on your first date with Mary might be a mistake.”
Eugene ground his teeth, softly biting the tip of his tongue in an effort to control his rising temper. “Well, thank you very much for the warning! Next time you might want to be a little quicker on the uptake.”
“Next time you might want to turn your brain on.”
“George!”
“I know. I’m leaving.”
Tipping the Scales
Michelle Hoppe
Published 2016 by Book Boutiques.
ISBN: 978-1-944003-78-4
Copyright © 2016, Michelle Hoppe.
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written permission of Book Boutiques.
This book is a work of fiction. Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, locales, or events is wholly coincidental. The names, characters, dialogue, and events in this book are from the author’s imagination and should not to be construed as real.
Manufactured in the USA.
Email support@bookboutiques.com with questions, or inquiries about Book Boutiques.
Blurb
About to be unemployed, Cupid has a last chance to prove he is worthy of keeping his bow…restore true love to a world where personal relationships have taken a nose dive. With more interference than a football game, Cupid tries to find the perfect man for Mary before The Benevolent Order of Heavenly Souls rip off his wings and consign him to a job filing forms in the basement.
Janalee, of The Romance Studio, had this to say about Tipping the Scales… “a witty and naughty look at how Cupid handles love and lovers. The premise is unique and entertaining. This is a lot fun wrapped-up in a book!”
Tipping the Scales is a laugh-out-loud, romantic comedy that will keep you entertained from beginning to end as you find out if true love can conquer all. Experience the unexpected as Michelle Hoppe tips the scales on romance.
Previously Published
(2014) Liquid Silver Books
Dedication
This novel is dedicated to Dakota Cassidy, a wonderful woman I’m proud to call my friend. In this wild and sometimes crazy world of writing, Dakota has been a staunch supporter of my work and a true inspiration. I value her friendship, the support she gives without expectations, and her ability to make me laugh. Thank you, Dakota, you are truly a treasure in my life.
Chapter 1
Libra - The Scales
September 24th to October 23rd
Traditional traits: Diplomatic, romantic, charming, and idealistic…
On the other hand: Changeable, easily influenced, flirtatious, and self-indulgent…
Crystal blue skies and a bright golden sun welcomed a glorious spring morning. Rainbow rays floated through pristine stained glass windows, casting beautiful patterns on marble floors. Though still early in the day, the corridor was crowded with people going about their business.
Cupid didn’t have time for niceties, ignoring shouted “hellos” and “hey, what’s up?” His eyes were set determinedly on a doorway at the end of a long hall. Cupid, like everyone else, knew a summons into His presence equated haste. You didn’t dawdle.
Arriving at last, Cupid knocked three times in quick succession before opening the portal to enter the massive conference room. At once he noticed a group of people seated around the table, speaking in whispered tones. Cupid stopped in mid-flight, his wings slowing until he almost fell from the air. “I’m sorry,” Cupid stammered. “I didn’t realize you were already in session.”
“It’s all right Cupid. We’ve been waiting for you,” God assured him. “Come in and have a seat so we can begin.”
Cupid hung in the doorway a moment, amazed as always at the round table in the middle of the room. The massive table was made of solid gold with twelve thrones positioned equally around its perimeter. There were silver inlays depicting fairies, unicorns, and cherubs dancing along its edge and in the center, a full moon with beams of light reaching fingers of silver to touch on smiling faces.
Many years ago, when King Arthur first set into motion his idea of a governing council in Camelot, God sat up and took notice. What a wonderful idea for sharing the burden of leadership, God had thought. He ordered the massive table built, and set about appointing members to his very own round table council. When Arthur died, God made him a member of The Benevolent Order of Heavenly Souls. He joined a distinguished group of council members who were God’s advisors, and while it was an honor to serve, there was one drawback…you had to be dead.
Pulling himself together, Cupid slowly floated forward to join the others, trying to figure out what could be so damn important. He had so much work to do, with Valentine’s Day only a month and a half away. Cupid would love to tell the boss he didn’t have time for this, however, the last time he’d been so bold his wings were singed before he could escape the path of God’s wrath.
Deciding silence would be the best course of action, he took his seat between Ju
piter and Zeus, and, along with the others, waited for God to tell them why he’d called this emergency meeting.
*
God relaxed deeper into his throne as he waited for Cupid to take his seat. He surveyed the group and was pleased to see all eleven members of the council in attendance. Getting them in one place at the same time always took a lot of effort. However, this issue needed to be dealt with. Once Cupid took his seat, God sat forward and picked up a little golden bell sitting in front of him. With a quick tinkle, he called the meeting to order and everyone fell silent, turning to look in his direction.
“I have called you here today to discuss the lack of true love in the world,” God stated, as a collective moan rang out from the crowd around the table. “I know you think we’ve covered this issue before, but I’m telling you, I want something besides flying arrows responsible for true love.”
Holding his hand up to forestall any comments, God continued, “I’ve been informed by Queen Guinevere,” he nodded slightly to the lady on his right, “that she heard they are singing a new song on earth. I’m not sure of the exact wording, but I believe they refer to Cupid as stupid, and beg him to stop shooting arrows at them.” God paused for a moment to let their whispers die down again.
Looking at Plato, he addressed his next comment to him, “Plato, you’re familiar with sonnets and such. Perhaps you’ve heard this new song.”
“My apologies, Sir; however, I must admit, since ‘Rap’ became the norm on earth I’ve turned off all receiving devices in my quarters. I just can’t stand mindless noise. I’ll state here and now however, I’m not surprised they think Cupid is stupid. I’ve been saying it for years!”
A loud roar of disapproval rose from the group as many voiced their objections to Plato’s statement.
“That will be enough!” God’s tone quickly silenced the group. “You will respect each other during this meeting, otherwise nothing will be accomplished.”
Looking across the table at the newest member of The Benevolent Order of Heavenly Souls, God spoke again, “George, you’re most familiar with these Americans. Can you give us any insight into what we might be doing wrong?”
George sat up straighter in his chair and cleared his throat. “Having followed the ways of my successors to the presidency for the last two hundred and six years, I can tell you several of them used astrologers. Mind you, I don’t hold with such nonsense, however, I believe one recent president consulted a personal astrologer for every decision he made.”
God noticed this statement brought a look of surprise to most of those seated around the table. “I take it from your expressions that this is news to most of you?
Raising his hand, Ra-Atum, Egyptian God of the Sun, waited for God to call on him.
“You have something to add, Ra?”
“Yes. I believe astrology has been around for many centuries. It’s a noble occupation and one I think we could use for our purposes.”
“Fiddle-faddle!” shouted Juno, Roman Queen of the Gods. “Have you watched the television commercials lately? There’s one woman claiming that if you call her, she can read your future over the phone, and all it will cost is three dollars and ninety-nine cents a minute. Fiddle-faddle, I say.”
Once again, God rang his golden bell to bring order back to the room. “I didn’t plan on a long-winded discussion. What I want is to give Cupid instructions for getting true love back on course before February fourteenth.”
God waited for everyone to settle down again before continuing. “I think George hit the nail on the head with the astrology angle. Therefore, here’s what we’re going to do. Cupid will assume human form and go to San Francisco. He’ll advertise himself as a singing astrologer, specializing in reading people’s astrological charts at parties,” God paused to make sure everyone was following along. “While he gets things set up, the council will pick a couple for Cupid to work with. If he’s successful, we’ll continue until we bring true love back to the world. I believe this will solve the problem of arrows once and for all.”
“This has to be the stupidest idea I’ve heard in centuries,” exclaimed Hera, Goddess of Marriage. “Do you plan to dress him in an ape suit too?”
Looking sternly at Hera, God stated, “Don’t be ridiculous madam, he’ll wear regular human clothes and blend in with the people of San Francisco nicely.”
“Oh dear, have you seen the people in San Francisco lately, Sir?” Queen Guinevere appeared shocked by this idea.
“Listen to me!” God’s voice exploded over the room. “We could spend the next six days talking about this, which I refuse to do. The last time I took six days to do anything it made the history books. I’m positive Cupid is smart enough to adapt to anything San Francisco can throw at him, so let’s just agree to try this and see what happens.
*
Cupid remained silent throughout the discussion taking place around him. Stupid Cupid! He’d heard the song and after listening to it twice, he’d made a special trip to earth to shoot several arrows into the backside of the singer.
He wasn’t happy with the decision of the council; however, he knew it would do no good to argue with the almighty dead ones. Once they made up their collective minds something was broken, it didn’t matter what you did to prove them wrong. At least with this plan he’d get to spend some time on earth in human form.
Yes, he thought to himself, time away from the day-to-day dealings of politics on Uranus. No more flying around naked, shooting arrows at thankless people. Best of all, he could enjoy the pleasures of a human body for as long as this experiment took. Cupid smiled. With a couple of minor adjustments, this might just be the best plan after all, he told himself.
Chapter 2
Mary Smith spent forty-five minutes walking in circles, hungry, tired, and very thirsty. She couldn’t get over the feeling she was being stupid.
Just get your ass in the door and apologize, the nagging little voice in her head shouted. He’s a man, no big deal.
Be quiet, I’m the one who has to do this not you, you little shit. Yet each time she headed for the door, memories of the last time she’d gone into the deli returned to haunt her.
It had been a week ago today, and she hadn’t realized there was a new clerk working. True to her daily routine, Mary ordered her sandwich without really looking at the person behind the high counter. Everything went fine until she reached the register to pay for her food. Hearing his voice for the first time, she looked up and saw the most handsome man she’d ever seen smiling at her.
Frozen in place, unable to speak, unable to count out money, Mary found herself powerless to move. He’d told her the amount owed several times and then waved his hand in front of her face to see if she was awake. Still incapable of movement, Mary just stood there like an idiot, staring at him.
Finally, the woman behind Mary tapped her on the shoulder. “Dearie, either pay the man or kiss him. I don’t care which, but decide before I die of starvation.”
Now she’s a funny lady, Mare.
“Would you shut up?”
“Excuse me!” Both the man behind the counter and the woman behind Mary said in unison. Mary wanted to curl up and die. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. Now see what you did? All Mary could hear in response from her little voice was laughter. Wanting nothing more than to sink into the floor, she handed Mr. Handsome a fist full of cash, grabbed her food, and ran from the store.
It had taken her a week to get up the courage to return to the deli to apologize. She’d made such a fool of herself and he was so damn good looking. Not normally shy, Mary couldn’t figure out why this man turned her brains to scrambled eggs.
Glancing at the deli one last time, Mary shook her head from side to side, lowered her eyes to the ground, and turned to walk out of the park.
You’re such a baby, the voice in her head taunted.
“Oh, shut up!”
Mary’s pace was steady as she walked to the gate, not looking at any of the people
she passed. As she neared an exit, she felt rather than saw someone on the path ahead of her. In a split second, Mary realized they were on a collision course and stopped.
“Excuse me, miss.”
Glancing up, Mary realized it was the clerk from the deli. “Oh God, he’s talking to me.”
“Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.”
Mary wanted to run. Why did she keep saying her thoughts out loud? She could feel the heat in her cheeks and knew her face was turning red.
“Are you okay?”
“Yes,” she stammered. “I’m just late returning to work.”
“I don’t bite.”
“Right.”
Wow, nice come back, Mare.
If you don’t stop, I’m going to hit something.
Okay. Mouth zipped.
Mary stared at the man standing in front of her, a questioning look on his face, and once again found herself dumbstruck by his good looks. Perhaps his eyeglasses were larger than they needed to be and the white medical tape holding them together in the middle was a little dirty.
She was almost certain pocket protectors were no longer in style, however his short cropped hair looked neat, his chin was nicely shaven, and his eyes were the perfect shade of brown. His green and blue short-sleeved, plaid shirt buttoned to the neck and a green bow tie sat neatly in place. The tails of his shirt were smartly tucked into the belted waistband of his slacks. His suspenders, the same color as his tie, were a little outdated, as were the brown penny loafers on his feet. Some might think him too short, perhaps a little pudgy, yet to Mary he looked like the perfect specimen of manhood.
He just stood there, watching her look him up and down. “I didn’t think you would bite, I stopped so I wouldn’t run into you,” Mary finally squeaked out.
“Perhaps if you looked in front of you instead of at the ground, you’d be less likely to run into people.”
Mary drew herself to her full five-foot-five-inch height. “And you, sir, could be less critical of people you don’t know. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get back to work.”