Unbreak Me

by Julieanne Lynch

  She had nothing to offer a relationship. Everything she touched died or was destroyed. She couldn’t face the prospect of letting down her guard, only to have her heart broken. She’d been hurt and humiliated too many times in her life, and she wasn’t about to let someone like Connor come along and turn everything she had built for herself upside down.

  She composed herself and tied up her hair, avoiding having to look at herself in the mirror. There were days that she hated her reflection and today was one of them.

  Molly closed the door behind her, walked into the kitchen and scrolled through her phone until she found Connor’s number, blocking and deleting him. As much as it hurt doing that, she knew it was for the best.

  Just as she put the phone back on the counter, she saw the two cups of unfinished hot chocolate and her heart sank.

  “Stupid moron,” she scolded herself as she lifted the cups, pouring the contents down the drain and aching inside as the memory of their intimate encounter flashed through her mind.

  A knock on the door startled her and she jolted, dropping one of the cups in the sink, smashing it. “For crying out loud.”

  The knock came again.

  Molly ran to the door and opened it. In front of her was a delivery man with a huge bouquet of flowers.

  “Delivery for Molly Rice.” He handed the flowers to her and left the foyer.

  Molly closed the door and smelled the fresh arrangement as she saw a small gold envelope sealed on to the side of the organza bow. Setting the flowers down on the counter, she opened the envelope, taking out the small card inside.

  I’m sorry.

  Connor XO

  Molly’s heart sank as she read the words. Was he purposely trying to destroy her? Angry and vexed, she lifted the flowers, grabbed her keys and left her home.

  The scent alone was beautiful. There was no denying that Connor had taste. But how many times would she have to reject him before he got the message? She wasn’t ready for what he wanted and she needed to make sure he understood.

  Molly drove for the best part of an hour, but didn’t know where she was going or what she was doing. Not until she realized she was sitting at a bar, looking into the full glass of wine, contemplating that first sip.

  She sat there, frozen, just watching the red claret teasing her, willing her to drink it.

  “It’s not gonna bite,” a voice said from behind the bar.

  Looking up, Molly felt drained. She wasn’t in the mood for idle conversation. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.” She trembled, holding on to the stool to stop from losing her balance.

  “It’s the perfect place to drown your sorrows,” the blonde bartender said as she filled a shot glass with vodka and downed it straight. “And I’m guessing you have some serious shit to drown.”

  “No, not really,” Molly muttered as the thirst burned in the back of her throat. “This was a mistake.” She panicked as she grabbed her bag and fled the bar. Outside, she leaned against the wall of a nearby pawn shop and cried. “You stupid fool,” she whispered to herself as she caught the glares of a few passersby, looking at her as though she were insane.

  With shaking hands, she lifted out her phone from her purse and called the only one who knew how much she was struggling. “Jenna…” she cried. “I think I need that pep talk.” She crouched down on the ground, resting her head on her hand as she tried to control her breathing.

  “Where are you?” Jenna asked.

  “It’s okay. I didn’t touch the liquor…but I think I’m gonna break.”

  “Are you able to stop by my place?”

  Molly wiped her eyes and gazed up at the blue sky, squinting from the radiant light of the sun, and the familiar pang of guilt swept through her. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon.”

  The short drive to Jenna and Barry’s comfortable home was one mixed with apprehension and growing anxiety. Not once had she thought about the implications of taking that drink. How she’d have set herself back months, and not to mention the disappointment she’d cause Jenna and everyone else in her AA group.

  Molly parked outside the two-story home. She sat in silence, gathering her thoughts before walking up to the front door, leaving herself open for scrutiny and indignation.

  Barry answered, welcoming her with a hug. “It’s okay, sweetie.” He held on to her tightly as she cried. So much relief from a single embrace. The caring nature was enough to calm the mental strain that had overtaken her.

  “Come on in, I’ve fixed you two something to devour in the den,” he said as he ushered her in through the front door.

  “I’m so sorry about this.”

  “What have I told you before? If ever in doubt, you call us, otherwise Jenna would be failing in her role as sponsor and friend.”

  “I know,” Molly whispered. “I just… I don’t know. I allowed him to get under my skin.”

  “Hey,” Jenna called as she walked up to Molly. Gazing at Molly, Jenna placed her hands on either side of her shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. “You did the right thing calling me.”

  Jenna closed the door to the den and sat on her favorite chair while Molly threw herself on the couch, lifting a cushion and holding it under her chin.

  “What happened?”

  “I don’t know. I just flipped. The poor guy never stood a chance with me.”

  Jenna poured the coffee into the cups then lifted hers and gestured for Molly to help herself.

  “I take it that things progressed?” Jenna inquired, trying not to pry too much.

  Shrugging, Molly shook her head. “I was such a fool.”

  “How?”

  “I don’t know… I let my guard down.”

  “Molly, look at me,” Jenna said. “You deserve to be happy. You don’t need to keep punishing yourself for what has happened in the past. You have paid the ultimate price for what your father did to you. Don’t you think it’s time to allow nature to take its course and allow someone into your heart?”

  “But that would mean revealing all the dirty, sordid details about my past and I’m not sure he’d want me after that.”

  “You are a silly girl, but I understand completely,” Jenna sympathized. “Listen, do you like this guy?”

  “Well, yeah.”

  “Then why not give him a chance?”

  “Because he’s the guy everyone is talking about… The guy from the bridge the other night. That’s why I missed the meeting. I was the one who called it in and stayed with him until the cops came.”

  Jenna’s eyebrows raised as her mouth opened, unsure of what to say. Then a smile spread across her face. “And you’ve been beating yourself up over this?”

  “No,” Molly replied. “I’m afraid that if we fall too deep, we’re heading straight for disaster.”

  “But you won’t know unless you try.”

  “It’s pretty obvious that we’re both fucked up. I mean, he’s got issues, and let’s not even begin to scratch at my problems. It couldn’t possibly work out.”

  “What would Aggie say if she were here?”

  That made Molly sit up straight and she knew she was right. There would be no way Aggie would sit back and allow her to wallow in so much self-doubt and deprecation. Aggie would have encouraged the thought of a blossoming relationship.

  “We both know what she’d say,” Molly responded as she looked down into the coffee swirling around in the cup. “But she’s not here.”

  “Don’t be such a defeatist. Look at it from this angle—if you had never stepped in, stopped him taking his own life, you’d have never faced the opportunity of finding that someone who could complete you.” Jenna made a fair point.

  “So, you suggest I give him a chance?”

  “I do. Otherwise you are going to beat yourself up over this in many months or years to come. Don’t let the chance pass you by, honey.”

  “And ignore the fact that I nearly had a drink today?”

  Getting up from her seat, Jenna walked around the s
mall coffee table and sat down beside Molly. “No, we don’t ignore that, we address that.”

  “I was so close to taking that drink,” Molly cried.

  “But you didn’t. You left, and you called me, which tells me you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for,” Jenna said as she touched her shoulder. “I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, but sobriety is a lifelong commitment. To allow your addiction to stop you from moving on, and living your life, would be unfair to you.”

  “So you’re saying to take a chance?”

  “Absolutely. I am living proof there is life after addiction. You just have to work at it,” Jenna said, her smile warm and genuine.

  “Then I guess I should apologize to him.”

  “That, my dear, would be a start.”

  Chapter Nine

  The gym was quiet, which meant less chance of having to make idle conversation with any of the patrons eager to poke their noses in his business. Not that he had much chance of avoiding it. The local press coverage meant that it was slightly impossible to hide, so he began to slip back into his old routine, only altering the times he went to the gym, or out for his morning paper. Simple things that eased the burden of facing the same questions time after time.

  Mark had made sure that his statement went out simultaneously as the news broke about the fall of the Lanscorp merger. He watched the stock fluctuate on the markets and knew that his father would have been spitting fire. Avoiding the ridicule of his parents was one thing, but to hear the hushed conversations between his siblings was harder to stomach.

  Running fast on the treadmill, Connor didn’t hear the door to the gym open. He was too focused on ridding his body from the tension and mind from all the clutter.

  Connor’s heart pounded hard. His breathing was fast and sharp as he concentrated on the last few miles, only to have a hand touch the handrail, making him stop.

  “So this is where you’ve been skulking?”

  “Marissa!”

  Lifting the towel, he rubbed the sweat from his brow as he took a swig of water from his bottle, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

  “You’ve been ignoring my calls, Connor, why’s that?” Running her long red fingernails along the bar of the treadmill, she tilted her head to the side, waiting for an answer.

  “I’ve been keeping a low profile.”

  “Is there something you need to get off your chest, darling?” Marissa was far from concerned. She was more worried about saving face and not being associated with someone who had a delicate constitution.

  “Nope,” Connor replied as he stepped down from the treadmill, walked over to the water fountain and refilled his sports bottle. “Besides, shouldn’t you be sunning yourself in the Bahamas?”

  “Well, yes, I was, but once Daddy called, filling me in on the events, I had to come home,” she remarked as she followed him. “And what kind of girlfriend would I be if I weren’t here for you in your hour of need?”

  “Marissa, we’ve discussed this before—we’re not in a relationship.” Connor rolled his eyes before looking at her, watching the scowl appear on her perfectly made-up face.

  “You are such a pig, Connor Ellison.”

  Letting out a laugh, Connor shook his head. “I’ve been called much worse.”

  Marissa Rivers—spoiled, arrogant, beautiful, controlling, delusional—everything he didn’t want in a partner, had been pushed in his direction when he had been selected to escort her to her debutante ball. There was no mutual attraction. It was more her obsessing over him. Connor had expressed on many occasions how she wasn’t right for him, but his mother was insistent that he gave her a chance. Little did his mother know that the more she pushed, the more distant he became.

  “Connor, don’t be so rude!”

  “Marissa, what do you want?”

  “I just wanted to make sure that you’re okay. Is that so wrong?”

  “No, but if it were genuine, I’d stomach your words a little easier. Has my mother put you up to this?”

  Walking up beside him, she touched his arm. Her warm hands were like silk against his sweaty skin. “She may have mentioned that you were a little jaded.”

  “Typical, you women can’t leave it alone.”

  “Connor!” she screeched.

  “What? You think coming here, offering to, what—blow me, fuck the bad feelings out of me or maybe try to coax me into agreeing to do something I’d never want under normal circumstances—all to aid your mission of nailing me? I might be a little fucked up right now, but I still have my faculties attached,” he shouted. “Get the fuck out of here. I’m not interested.”

  Marissa stared at him. She was at a loss for words, which was heaven for Connor as he smirked before sauntering out of the gym, leaving Marissa looking every inch the prize ass he’d always wanted her to be.

  Taking a quick shower, he vacated the premises out through the back door and sped home, where he knew he wouldn’t be disturbed. He intended on getting wasted. There was nothing else for it. He wanted to forget the rejection from Molly. Her name alone made him close his eyes, mourning something he had never been able to have. But he was intent on not giving up on her just yet. There was a fire that burned between them. It wasn’t a fleeting moment or a one-night stand. It was something more, and he needed to show her that he could be someone she could trust.

  * * * *

  Connor sat back on the couch and ate a few slices of pizza as he drank his eleventh beer. Scrolling through the channels, he felt irritated. Nothing caught his attention long enough that he could forget the way Molly looked when she slept.

  Every time he closed his eyes, he could hear her, see her and taste her.

  Rolling onto the floor, he picked up his cell from the rug and dialed her number.

  Nothing.

  The called failed.

  “What the—?” he muttered as he dialed the number again.

  Again, nothing.

  “Fuck!”

  Tightening his grip around the phone, he held it to his chin as he thought long and hard.

  Dialing the number again, he prayed. This time it rang. His heart began to pound.

  “Hello,” a groggy voice answered.

  “Molly, don’t hang up,” he pleaded.

  “Connor?”

  “I know it’s late.”

  “It’s two in the morning.”

  “I really had to talk to you… I’m sorry.”

  “Connor, I…don’t know what you want from me.”

  Connor slid onto his back as he stared at his ceiling, listening to her voice.

  “Connor, are you there?” Molly asked.

  “I’m still here,” he replied as he tried to focus on not sounding any drunker than he was. “I feel so bad about how we left things the other morning.”

  “I can’t do this now.”

  “Then when?” he asked, sounding a little angry. “You just blew me off, like I didn’t matter. Do you know how that made me feel?”

  “I’m not doing this. Not over the phone, and certainly not when you’re smashed.”

  “Then can I see you?”

  Silence.

  “Molly?” he asked.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Please.”

  Another pause.

  “Saturday,” she replied. “That’s when I am free next.”

  Connor jumped up, rubbed his eyes and smiled. “Saturday is good for me. I’ll pick you up, say noon?”

  “Okay, I’ll see you then,” Molly said. “Goodnight, and Connor?”

  “What?”

  “No booze.”

  “Okay.”

  The phone went silent, then the dialing tone buzzed. Lying back down, Connor smiled as he held the phone in his hand and drifted off into a drunken sleep. One that wasn’t exactly peaceful, but it was sleep, and boy, did he need it.

  Chapter Ten

  Molly made sure her days were full as Saturday got closer. She couldn’t believe she had
agreed to meet him, never mind talking to him on the phone, especially since he was clearly inebriated. She took on two extra shifts at the shelter, helping Regina make up the beds and check inventory.

  “You seem lost, sweetie,” Regina remarked as they counted sheets.

  “I’m good, Gina.”

  “You sure, honey? Because from over here, you look like a girl who has the weight of the world on her shoulders.”

  Molly stopped what she was doing, looked over at the elderly woman and sighed. “Guy trouble.”

  “Then why in hell didn’t you say so? I could tell you a tale or two.” Regina laughed. Her presence was infectious. “Now, tell me what he has done.”

  “It’s not that he’s done anything to me.” Molly sounded down. “It was me who kind of rejected him after, you know, spending the night with him.”

  “Uh-oh, he didn’t take it well?”

  “Nope.”

  “Do you like him?”

  “Well, yeah, I mean, I’ve agreed to see him tomorrow. But, I don’t know, it’s all happening too fast.”

  Regina walked over to where Molly stood and wrapped her arm across her shoulders. “Sometimes you’ve got to take risks, otherwise life will pass you by and you’ll wake up one morning an old woman with no family, no happy memories—life will have just been one long, wet, miserable day.”

  “I know… I’m being stupid.”

  “Nope, you’re not stupid, honey, but you’re just a little too hard on yourself. It’s quite obvious that this young man has gotten under your skin.”

  “I hate it when everyone is right.” Molly smiled.

  “Oh, me too. Nothing like a know-it-all, huh?” Regina winked at Molly before going back to the closet and checking off bed linen from her inventory list.

  Sometimes Molly was thankful for those who played her conscience. She needed sound counseling every once in a while, and if it made her sit up and take stock, then she graciously accepted the advice—even if it went against her better nature.

  * * * *

  Saturday morning came faster than she expected. It was odd, because although she was nervous, a little part of her was excited about seeing him again. It was as though she was on a roller coaster, fighting with her demons, trying to get off and just be normal.