Heart So Reckless

by K. C. Mills

  Everyone else in the building watched him with an admiration that was so dominant that you could feel their regard floating around the building. They respected Red to the point that they held him in a place of power. The crazy thing was that Red hadn’t embraced any of it. He appeared to be comfortable with everyone putting his needs ahead of their own, but he didn’t seem fazed by it in the least. It was as if his presence being revered by these men was the natural order of things.

  The men, however, were careful about their moves. None of them would give me their attention, and if they did, it only lasted for a moment, and their eyes darted to Red before they dropped them and focused on anything but me.

  About twenty minutes later, Red was on his feet and signaling for me to join him. He handed over a hundred dollar bill to EJ who tucked it into his pocket before addressing me.

  “Red is real particular about how he moves, so I may not see you around here again...” His eyes lifted to Red, who was behind me taking Reid from my arms. “So, let me just be sure you know that you have a good one. He’s a little off in some areas, but when he stands with you, you will never have to question his loyalty.”

  “Aye, watch that,” Red warned, bringing a smile to EJ’s face.

  He didn’t seem fazed at all because he followed up with further confirmation.

  “You’re a few screws shy of completion, Stokes. If she doesn’t already know that then I’m doing my civic duty by warning her.”

  Red chuckled while EJ exposed all thirty-two before his eyes made it to me. “He’s a good guy, but you make him step his game up. Never accept anything less than his best for you and that baby girl, you hear me?”

  I glanced at Red before nodding my approval.” EJ opened his arms, awaiting a hug, which I offered right as Red’s voice was heard again.

  “Break that shit up.” He warned, kissing my cheek and handing over Reid. “Let me holla at him real quick, and then we can ride.”

  I stepped back and watched as the two of them created some distance. EJ’s back was to me but Red made sure he faced me while the two talked. Every so often he lifted his eyes to meet mine while the two whispered amongst themselves. Moments later, they hugged briefly, and we left.

  “I like him,” I stated as soon as we were in his truck again.

  “He loves you.” Red laughed to himself before he glanced at me. “I ain’t never brought a woman around before.”

  “Not even Sasha?” I rolled my eyes, and Red laughed again.

  “Nah, she’s from around here, so people know her. She came through a few times on her own, but I ain’t never brought her around. There’s a difference.”

  “Did he like her too?”

  With nonchalant shrug, he followed up with his answer. “Don’t know. I never asked, and he never offered.”

  Red’s hand covered mine. Our fingers intertwined, and he lifted my hand to his mouth, turning just enough to press a kiss to the inside of my wrist. “With you, he offered.” A wink followed, warming my cheeks.

  “Is he really your uncle?”

  “By choice not by blood. That’s some hood shit. I’m sure you don’t know about them play cousins, aunts, and uncles.” Turning to me briefly he offered a smug grin and then focused on the road. After a moment of silence, Red spoke again but kept his eyes straight ahead. I could literally feel his mood shift. “I don’t know any of my family. My mom was an only child, and I ain’t never seen my pops before. I’ve never once had a conversation with him, so I don’t know his people.”

  “Well you don’t need them. You have me.”

  “Word, you down for the kid?”

  “Word.”

  “Yo’ corny ass.” Red shook his head. “We have one more stop about a fifteen-minute drive. We can eat there. You good?”

  “I’m with you, I’m great.”

  His smile was barely there, but I didn’t need to see it. I could feel it.

  “Well, well, look who remembered where he came from,” a short, round woman who looked like she was everyone’s favorite auntie scolded when Red and I stepped into the small space that mimicked an old school diner.

  It was packed to capacity but felt cozy in the way that you felt welcomed and would wait no matter how long that wait might be.

  “Aww, come on, Ms. Anne. I always remember where home is.” Red’s voice was cheerful.

  I stood off to the side while he adjusted Reid’s carrier to allow room for the stocky woman to enter his personal space. She hugged him tight, and his free arm closed around her neck just before he pressed a kiss to her inflated cheeks.

  “Mmmhmm. It’s been weeks since you’ve been around here. I been telling Leonard to send you by. I’m giving you a pass since you brought me company,” she fussed with her eyes on Reid who had succumbed to the half hour drive that it took us to get there.

  “He didn’t say shit,” Red pushed out through a smile that had her pushing a hand into his chest.

  “Don’t you lie on my son. I know he told you. He’s not good for a lot of stuff, but he knows that I don’t play about seeing you.”

  Red chuckled and then tugged at my arm, pulling me into his side. “You’re right, he told me. I’ve just been busy, but you knew I was gonna eventually show.”

  “You better have, now introduce me.”

  “This is Peyson.” He smiled down at me before slightly shoving me her way. I offered a smile and extended a hand, but she sucked her teeth hard before pulling me into a hug.

  “If you’re here, you’re family, and family don’t shake hands, baby.” She smiled softly at me. “I’m Mrs. Anne.”

  “Pleased to meet you.”

  Her eyes quickly darted from me to Red, and when I looked at him, he grinned while her face scrunched up.

  “Where you find her at, Redmon? She damn sure isn’t from around here with that cute little white girl voice.”

  “Nah, she isn’t, so don’t scare her off. I’m trying to keep her around.”

  Red winked at me, causing her eyes to dart my way. A big smile filled her face, easing my worries a little. The last thing I wanted was for someone important to him not to accept or like me.

  “Chile, she isn’t going nowhere. I see the way her eyes are smiling. Those cheeks blush every time you look at her. Welcome, baby. Y’all go get that table and give me this baby. She isn’t gonna sleep her first time meeting Mrs. Anne.”

  While she tugged at Reid’s carrier, Red glanced at me.

  “Don’t be looking at her. I’m taking this baby, now go find a seat so I can feed y’all.”

  Red shook his head but surrendered Reid before escorting us to a booth near the front, making sure to keep his hand on the small of my back. It was about the only empty space in the entire place, which I found odd. I also noticed how everyone revered Red as we moved through the tiny space. It made sense that the women gave him attention, but the men also offered their attention by way of head nods as he glided with ease like he owned the place.

  Once we were seated with Red across from me, I looked around to locate my baby girl. Mrs. Anne had her out of her carrier and propped up in her arms while she carried on a conversation with one of her servers.

  “You want me to get her?”

  “Huh? No. It’s fine.”

  When I looked at him, there was a softness in his demeanor. He was relaxed in a way that I hadn’t seen before. I knew it had to do with being there.

  “More adopted family?” The smug grin I offered allowed him to return one.

  “Yeah. She made the cake that you inhaled that night.”

  My brows piqued, causing him to laugh. “Yo’ greedy ass. Yeah, she’s gonna hook you up, but you have to eat first. The food here is fucking amazing. You can’t get it like this anywhere else.”

  Leaning slightly to the side, he grabbed two weathered menus and handed one off to me. The plastic that covered them was rolling at the edges, and the paper beneath it was fading to a yellowish tint. I frowned at the list of items
. There were four. Catfish and fries, fried chicken and fries, Southern Special, and Morning glory.

  “Is this it?”

  “Yeah, but trust me. That’s all you need.”

  “What are you getting?”

  “Southern Special,” a deep voice that sounded similar in dialect and tenor to Red’s answered just before I was moved closer to the wall by the long body that eased onto the seat next to me. “That’s all he ever eats ’cause he’s a country nigga just like me.”

  “Why the fuck you over there?” Red narrowed his eyes at the tall, light skinned man who was now beside me, but whoever he was only flashed his platinum grill Red’s way before he turned slightly face me.

  “Lobo. You’re Peyson, right?” His massive tatted hand extended my way, and I glanced at Red before accepting it. I had heard that name enough times to know that he was important to Red.

  “Yes.”

  “I see why he’s been hiding you from us. You’re sexy as fuck.”

  Seconds later, my eyes landed on the table after hearing something hard make contact with it. Red’s gun was there with his hand covering it. I immediately looked around, but no one seemed to be paying us any mind, and apparently, Lobo wasn’t paying Red any mind. He only chuckled and pointed to it.

  “Man, put that shit up. I know what it is.” He seemed even more amused, exposing his grill again.

  “Nah, you don’t. Check that shit.” Red’s tone was firm, but one of his cheeks was hiked just enough to expose the appearance of a smile.

  “Yeah, he serious about you. This nigga done known me for years, and he’s about to light me up for stating the obvious. You gon’ have him bodying muthafuckers for just looking at your pretty ass.”

  “If you know that then move easy.” The two shared a hard look that ended with them both smiling. Red eased out of the booth but stood firm beside it. “Bring your ass over here before I have to end years of friendship.”

  Lobo grinned but moved away from me, filling the spot where Red had been.

  “I’m going to put our order in, or we won’t eat. It’s busy as fuck in here. You eating?” His eyes landed on Lobo, who nodded.

  “Yeah.”

  Nothing else was said between them, but Red left us there.

  “That’s my brother.”

  I studied the man sitting across from me. He was handsome. His golden skin was tatted up the same as Red’s, only his didn’t stop at his neck. There was a small black star next to his left eyebrow, and the word Faith tagged at the peak of his right cheekbone, just above where the reddish brown beard began. It was long and silky, even with the tightness of the crinkles that showed its texture. One of his massive hands rested on the table while the other toyed with the end of that same beard, which hung seven or eight inches past his chin.

  “Has he told you about me?” was his next statement.

  “No, but I’ve heard your name a lot.”

  Lobo grinned, and it reached his eyes. “Figures.” He paused and pushed his tongue into his cheek before continuing. “To both. That nigga don’t share anything with anyone.” His eyes rolled up to me. “Except, apparently you.”

  I wasn’t sure how to respond, so I didn’t. My attention was moved from him to Red, who was standing at the counter deep in conversation with Mrs. Anne. Then I focused on all of the eyes that were on him. People just stared, but in that same way, exposing admiration. It was that same feeling that was in the air at his barber shop but with more people.

  “You seem uncomfortable. That bother you? The attention he gets?”

  “No, it’s just different.”

  Lobo chuckled and moved his hand across his freshly cut waves. “This isn’t anything. You should see how they act when he’s on the block. Red is a street God. It might not mean anything to you, but it’s everything to the people around here. I’m a lot prettier than he is, but I can’t get half the attention he gets, and that nigga don’t even respond to it.”

  With a quick frown, my response followed. “He means something to me.”

  Again, Lobo grinned. “No disrespect or discredit to what y’all have going on. You need to understand what I mean. I don’t have to know shit about you to know that he’s just as important to you as you are to him. And truthfully, I don’t know shit about you. Like I said, Red keeps his personal shit personal. Even from me, and I’m the closest person to him. He’s just funny like that. Only reason why I even know you exist is that he didn’t have a choice after you had his head all fucked up.”

  My brows knit, and Lobo’s charming smile was whisked my way again. Damn, he smiled a lot. “That Valentine’s Day thing. I don’t know what kind of spell you put on his ass, but you definitely fucked with his head. He wanted to reach out. He planned to, and then shit happened that changed his mind. But you’re here now, so none of that matters.”

  I immediately wondered what happened that changed his mind. Did he reconnect with Sasha?

  “Can I ask you something?”

  When I lifted my eyes to him, his expression was serious. It made me feel uneasy, but I kept my cool.

  “You keeping that baby from him, that shit hurt when he found out. There’s not a lot of shit that really fucks with him, but he took that to heart. His pops bailed on him, and I think in a way, he felt like he was bailing on a kid that he didn’t know existed…”

  I opened my mouth to defend my actions, but he held up his hand to stop me. “You don’t have to explain shit to me. It’s not my business, but what I want to know is if you’re staying. That is my business. He has a lot of shit on his shoulders right now, and he doesn’t need to be worried about you disappearing on him. What we do requires his mind to be sharp. He’s already compromised because he now has to think about you and that baby, but Red can handle keeping you safe. What he can’t handle is you making him weak. If you disappear on him again, that will make him weak. That’s a problem for me.”

  Lobo’s eyes were stern and serious while he waited. “I’m not going anywhere unless he tells me to leave.”

  “And you can handle this?” He waved his hand in the air. “This is who he is. If you ask him, he’ll deny it because it don’t mean shit to him, but even when he denies it, he knows the truth. In your world, the doctors and fucking lawyers mean something. In our world, we have G’s like Stokes. You sure you can handle that? Because even when he walks away, he’ll never fully be separated from any of it.”

  I thought about the bag of bloody clothes after I considered his question.

  “I can handle it.”

  After what felt like forever, he offered me his smile again along with an extended hand. “Welcome to the family, sis. So, who you got on your team that you can hook me up with?”

  “Not a damn person. That’s not happening.” Red eased into the booth next to me and draped his arm around my shoulder then tucked me against his body. His lips brushed the side of my face before whispering, “Are you good?” to which I offered him a short nod.

  “So, we doing it like that? Why can’t we just keep it in the family?” Lobo frowned at Red, who chuckled.

  “’Cause you ain’t shit, and I’m not about to subject anyone to your you-ain't-shit-ness.”

  Lobo and I both burst out laughing, me throwing my hand over my mouth to conceal my smile while he shook his head and slipped out the booth, stepping in the way of a woman who was passing by. Just before he addressed her, he grinned and looked at Red.

  “I bet she’ll have a different story to tell.” His eyes landed on her. “Won’t you, shorty?”

  I watched as she frowned at Lobo and then immediately smiled after he leaned to her ear and whispered a private message. Whatever he said had her all smiles and him leaving with her and easing into a chair at a table a few feet away, where she had been sitting with a friend.

  “You sure you good?” Red questioned again, this time with a little more concern in his eyes.

  “Yes, should I not be?”

  He pushed his face into m
y neck, leaving a kiss before I felt his voice vibrate against it. “You’re always good with me. Trust that.”

  I did, beyond a shadow of doubt.

  “But we might not get baby girl back for a while.” He looked up at Mrs. Anne, who had Reid tucked in one arm while she worked the registered behind the counter.

  I felt warm inside from the love that Reid was receiving from Red’s family. Adopted or not, they were his, and he was theirs. They were now mine.

  Red.

  When I entered my room, Peyson was propped up against the headboard with a suspicious look on her face. Tonight had been good. I allowed her to see me through the eyes of people who knew me best. Outside of my grandmother, EJ, Lobo, and his mother were the sum total of my family. I knew that being around them would give her a vision of me that contradicted what she had made up in her mind about me.

  I was flawed. The streets made me dark, they branded me in ways that would always be there. I knew that, and I believed that Peyson could see that in me, but I wanted her to know that even with the darkness, there were parts of me that appreciated the light. I needed it. She and Reid were my light.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong.” Peyson smiled softly as I approached her from the foot of the bed. When I was close enough, I tugged at her ankles, and she allowed her body to slide my way until she was on her back, and I was hovering above her. My lower half wedged between her legs as I rested my weight on my elbows, so I could see her face. Her eyes lowered to me, and there was a softness on her face that had my dick growing.

  “Thank you for tonight.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Why do people love you so much?” She grinned slightly before her face balled up.

  I chuckled at her reaction. She was able to see me in my element which included a presence that I couldn’t avoid. She was right, people loved me, but not like she was conveying. They appreciated my realness, they respected my hustle, they envied my status, and they feared my consequences. I provided her with the simple answer.