Thor Is Locked in My Garage!

by Robert J. Harris

  “We’d better get out of here,” said Susie, backing up.

  They had the sense that a multitude of restless spirits were closing in on them, hidden from view by the mist. The fearful, dreary song was growing louder.

  “Did anybody bring a compass?” Greg asked. “Because I’ve got all turned around.”

  “This mist, it confuses everything,” said Susie.

  “Follow me,” said Lewis.

  The ring was tugging him in the right direction, but as soon as he took a step, a spectral shape flickered across his path and a breath of chilling vapour struck him in the face. He pulled back with a shiver and bumped into Greg.

  “Steady, Lewis,” said his brother encouragingly. “I’m pretty sure ghosts can’t hurt you. Pretty sure.”

  “They’re not even real,” said Susie, though her voice was quavering.

  “This place seems real enough to me,” Lewis muttered, moving forward.

  Every few steps an eerie apparition flitted across his sight and cold fear clutched at his heart, but he pressed on with the others right at his back. Finally the mist parted and they could see the way ahead.

  “There’s the path!” Lewis exclaimed.

  Before them lay the great flattened branch that led out of Niflheim.

  “Well, don’t hang about. Let’s go!” urged Greg, pushing Susie and Lewis on ahead of him.

  They hurried down the wooden path to the welcome safety of the Yggdrasil. Leaning against the trunk to catch his breath, Lewis removed the ring. It was a relief to have the buzzing in his head subside.

  “Are you okay, Spinny?” Greg asked. “You looked a bit shaken up back there.”

  “I’m fine now,” said Susie. “Aliens and monsters are one thing, but that place – uuurgh!” She shuddered as she glanced back in the direction of Niflheim.

  “You’d better keep that ring handy, Lewis,” said Greg. “One more wrong turn like that could be the end of us.”

  Once again he led the way up. As they climbed, Lewis felt something dropping onto his hair. He brushed it off and saw that there were flakes of dry wood stuck to his fingers.

  “Look at the tree,” he said. “The bark’s drying out and crumbling.”

  “Right, and have you noticed the path crunching under your feet?” asked Susie. “It didn’t do that when we started out.”

  They gazed around them and saw that the leaves, once bright green, now looked bent and tired, their colour fading against the background of stars.

  “It’s because Loki used up all the life in the seed in order to make it grow so fast,” Lewis guessed. “It’s ageing and dying just as quickly.”

  “You mess with nature and that’s what you get,” said Greg ruefully.

  “We’d better make tracks,” said Susie, “before it falls apart.”

  There came a crack from above and they looked up to see one of the smaller branches snapping off the tree. They flattened themselves against the trunk as the loose branch came spinning past them, end over end. It hit another branch below, jarring that loose too.

  “Right, let’s go,” Greg urged. “And keep your eyes peeled for a way off this thing.”

  As they hurried, the wood underfoot cracked and crunched. It was like walking across a floor covered in breakfast cereal. At last they came to another path that branched off and stretched away into a black cloud.

  “What do you think, Lewis?” Greg asked.

  Lewis slipped the ring on and placed one foot on the outstretched branch. He shook his head. “This leads to Muspell, the Realm of Fire.”

  “Oh great!” Greg groaned. “There must be some way to get to Asgard.”

  “It will be higher up,” said Susie. “Just keep going.”

  Upward they went, with showers of dead leaves raining down on them from above. Deep cracks appeared in the trunk and more branches were snapping off every few seconds.

  “There, that’s got to be it!” Greg exclaimed, pointing to another path jutting out from the trunk.

  Lewis put on the ring and tried it. “No good,” he sighed. “This is the way to Jotunheim, the Land of the Giants.”

  “If we don’t find another way off soon,” said Greg, “we might have to take our chances there. Otherwise we’ll be in for a long drop.”

  Susie forced a brave smile. “And nobody thought to pack parachutes?” She gave Greg a prod. “On you go then.”

  Flakes of bark and dead leaves were falling on them steadily now and their feet were sinking into the path like it was sand. They struggled on, trying to ignore the creaking and groaning of the dying Yggdrasil.

  “There, check that out, Lewis!” Greg ordered urgently, pointing at another path up ahead. It ran out across the empty sky and vanished into a white cloud.

  Lewis slipped on the ring and placed a foot on the branch.

  “Yes, that’s Asgard out there!” he exclaimed.

  “Are you sure?” Greg asked.

  “Yes, yes!” Lewis insisted, flashing the ring at him.

  “Just in time,” said Greg.

  He strode out along the limb, but at his first step the wood cracked and splinters rained down into the void below.

  “No, Greg!” Susie exclaimed. She grabbed his arm and dragged him back. “It’s too far gone to hold our weight.”

  “Well, we can’t just stay here,” said Lewis. “The whole tree is going to fall apart any minute now.”

  “Hang on a second,” said Greg. He pulled the Shoes of Vidar from his backpack and swapped them for his boots. “With these I can practically walk on air.”

  “And what about us?” asked Susie.

  “You said you’d brought rope,” said Greg. “Get it out.”

  Susie handed him the rope. Greg quickly tied one end around his waist and gave her the other. “You two hang on to that,” he said. “I’m making a run for Asgard.”

  He raced off down the long wooden path, the rope uncoiling behind him. The branch cracked and sagged as he ran but the magical shoes kept him from losing his footing. Susie and Lewis wound their end of the rope tightly around their hands and watched as Greg disappeared into the cloud.

  All at once the rope went taut.

  “There’s no choice now,” said Susie. “We have to go for it.”

  “Let’s run,” Lewis agreed.

  Clutching the rope, Susie raced along the branch with Lewis right behind her. They made it a few metres before the wood broke apart beneath them and they plunged downward through the empty air.

  “Hang on, Lewis!” Susie cried.

  Lewis twisted the rope around his hands so tightly it burned his skin and his fingers turned white. Dangling over the void, he glanced back to where the Yggdrasil was in its final throes. It reminded him of a film he once saw of a skyscraper being demolished. With a dull boom, the gigantic tree burst apart in a shower of dead leaves and shattered bark that scattered across the starry void.

  14. The Rough Guide to Asgard

  Tearing his eyes away from the horrifying emptiness below, Lewis looked up to where Susie was clinging fiercely to their lifeline. Grunting at the exertion, she was hauling herself upward inch by inch.

  Lewis tried to do the same. As he shifted his hands the rope burned his fingers and his muscles ached as though streams of fire were running through them. He was shocked by a sudden jolt on the rope.

  “Greg’s pulling us up, Lewis!” Susie shouted down at him. “Just hang on a bit longer.”

  Lewis peered past her to the white cloud that spread right across their vision. With each jerk of the rope it came closer, until they were engulfed by it and he could see nothing at all. The strain on his arms was almost unbearable, but he clung on grimly and felt himself ascending.

  Above him came a triumphant whoop. Emerging from the murk, he saw an outcrop of rock, like the edge of a cliff, jutting out into the emptiness. Susie and Greg were perched together on the edge. Between them, they hauled Lewis up the rest of the way.

  Once they had dragged him
up beside them, the three of them retreated from the edge and collapsed side by side on a stretch of grass, panting for breath.

  “I didn’t think we were going to make it,” Lewis gasped.

  “I couldn’t have pulled you both up if the magic shoes hadn’t kept me rooted to the ground,” said Greg.

  Susie lifted her head off the grass. “I’ve always said it’s important to have the right footwear.”

  When at last they had recovered their breath, they got to their feet and took a proper look at the landscape before them.

  “This is it,” said Lewis, “Asgard, the home of the gods, the Golden Realm.”

  Greg gazed about him, unimpressed. “Frankly, it’s a bit of a dump.”

  Lewis had to agree. He had expected Asgard to be a riot of colour, bright with sunlight and vibrant with life, a home worthy of the Viking gods.

  It wasn’t.

  The sky overhead was a sullen grey, clogged with gloomy clouds. The tall trees drooped like weary old men, their dull leaves like wrinkled hands. The drab hillsides were mottled with banks of withered flowers, their petals shrivelled and dry. In the distance was a city surrounded by a wall, but even from a distance it looked ancient and abandoned. The worst thing was the silence. There was no birdsong – not even the whisper of a breeze.

  “It is a bit of a let down,” Lewis agreed.

  “Well, it’s obvious what’s happened,” said Susie, rolling up the rope and stuffing it back in her pack.

  “Not to me it isn’t,” said Greg.

  “Look, if you wander off and leave your computer,” Susie explained, “it shuts itself down to save power. The same thing has happened here. Asgard’s been uninhabited for centuries, so it’s shut itself down.”

  “But if Loki reaches Odin’s throne, he can boot it up again,” said Lewis.

  “Right,” said Susie. “And once it’s back online, who knows what he’ll do with all that power.”

  “That’s what we’re here to stop,” said Greg. “Come on.”

  They crossed over an arched bridge, its stonework pitted and stained with dead moss. The stream below was still and scummy. There was no sign of life in the motionless waters.

  A wide roadway paved with cracked grey flagstones led to the city. As the three youngsters advanced, their footsteps rang hollow in the still air. In front of them the wall rose up like a cliff made of huge granite blocks.

  The arched gateway was decorated with carvings that were so blurred, it was impossible to make out what they were supposed to be. The wooden gates hung tiredly on their rusted hinges, leaving a gap for the visitors to pass through.

  The city beyond must once have been a wonderful sight. Buildings of every shape and material rose in tier upon tier against the sky, but over them all hung an air of long abandonment, as though they had lain empty and derelict for centuries.

  As they walked down the broad avenue between the huge buildings, Greg said, “This is a big place, Lewis. You’d better get that brainy ring out so we can find our way around.”

  “I suppose so,” Lewis agreed reluctantly.

  He slipped the ring on to his finger and at once the familiar buzzing filled his head. Although it was feeding him lots of information, it made it hard to concentrate, like having one of Greg’s favourite metal bands dinning in his ears.

  He pointed back the way they had come and said, “The wall of Asgard was built by a giant stonemason with the aid of his stallion Svadilfari, but he was cheated out of his payment by Loki.”

  “No surprise there, then,” said Greg. “What’s that building up there on the crag, the one with the horns?”

  Lewis shifted his gaze to the square stone building that stood alone on a table of rock. From the flat roof a pair of pillars extended into the sky, bending inward towards each other and tapering to points as they rose.

  “It looks kind of like the observatory on Balgay Hill in Dundee,” said Susie. “Except for the horns, of course.”

  “That’s the Himinbjorg,” Lewis informed them, “the Gatehouse of Heimdall, guardian of the Bifrost.” He turned and pointed to another building constructed in the shape of a great ship with a dragon prow. “That’s the home of the god Njord, the god of the sea.”

  Further on he gestured towards a stone-built fortress where an anvil sat outside the gate. “That’s Bilskirnir, the home of Thor,” he said. “There are 540 rooms inside and 300 suits of armour.” Unable to stop the words tumbling from his lips, he added, “Down that way is Sessrumir, the hall of Freya. She’s the goddess of love and beauty.”

  “All right, Lewis, that’s enough,” Greg interrupted.

  “Greg’s right,” said Susie. “It is starting to get annoying.”

  “Don’t tell us anything else unless we really need to know it,” said Greg.

  Lewis rubbed his head. “Okay, but I was going to point out Ydalir, the hall of Ull.”

  “Don’t bother!” Greg told him. “Just get us to Odin’s palace.”

  Biting his lip, Lewis pointed down a wide street on their left.

  “Thanks,” said Greg. “Let’s go.”

  As they pressed on, Lewis had to bite his lip to keep from telling them about every spot they passed. Keeping it all bottled up inside made his head ache more than ever, and it was a huge relief when a great marble palace came into view, with brass doors and a pair of stone ravens peering down from the roof.

  “That’s Odin’s palace right there,” he said, yanking off the ring. At once the buzzing in his head stopped, but the ache was still there.

  They halted in their tracks, for bent over the lock of the brass door was a familiar figure in a long dark coat. Loki was probing the mechanism with a needle, and when he heard a click, he stepped back with a sigh of satisfaction. The door swung open, revealing a shadowy hallway within.

  “Not so fast, Larry!” Greg called out. “That’s breaking and entering.”

  Loki swung round and anger flashed in his dark green eyes.

  “You! What do I have to do to get rid of you? Use bug spray?”

  Susie reached behind her and pulled out Mjolnir. “Careful, Greg,” she warned. “Those shoes won’t protect you if he’s got a ray gun or something.”

  Undaunted, Greg stepped forward boldly. Loki flung up a warning hand and sparks danced between his fingers. Frowning in concentration, he struggled to summon a bolt of fire, but nothing came. He finally lowered his arm with a snarl of frustration.

  “It looks like your powers are dead, just like everything else in this place,” said Greg, advancing towards him with Susie and Lewis at his side.

  “Don’t be too sure of that,” Loki sneered. “You should know by now I always have a few tricks up my sleeve.”

  Shoving a hand inside his coat, he pulled out a metal disk the size of a frisbee. It was marked with runes all round the edge and there was a blue jewel in the centre.

  “This is another little trinket I picked up in St Andrews,” Loki informed them with a thin smile. “The Shield Svalin.”

  “That’s one of the treasures Thor told us about,” Lewis recalled.

  “It doesn’t look like much,” said Greg with a shrug.

  Loki thrust the shield out in front of him and immediately all three of them felt some invisible force hurl them back. They stumbled backwards until the pressure stopped and they saw that the air before them was shimmering, as though filled with raindrops.

  Greg stretched out a hand and gave a grunt as it bumped against something solid. “He’s put up some kind of a wall,” he said beating at it with his fist.

  “It’s a force field,” said Susie. “Let me have a go.”

  She took a swing with Mjolnir, but her blow rebounded off the unseen barrier.

  “I don’t think you’re man enough to handle that hammer, toots,” Loki taunted her.

  “I told you not to call me toots!” Susie yelled.

  In a fury she swung Mjolnir again and struck the barrier an even fiercer blow that made it boom lik
e a giant bell. The impact reverberated right through to the other side and sent Loki stumbling backwards. Visibly shaken, he straightened his hat and leaned the shield against the marble wall.

  “I’d love to stay and watch you beating your brains in against this thing,” he said, “but I’ve got business inside.” He jerked a thumb at the palace, then turned on his heel and disappeared through the doorway.

  Susie rained blow after blow down on the barrier until she was red-faced and panting. Lewis clapped his hands over his ears, which were ringing with the noise.

  Greg caught her by the arm. “Spinny, you’d better stop that before you hurt yourself,” he said.

  “Well, what are we supposed to do then?” Susie demanded breathlessly. “Just stand around while that creep takes over the universe?”

  Greg pressed the flat of his hand against the barrier. “Maybe we can find a way around it.”

  “I’ll bet he’s blocked off the whole palace,” said Lewis.

  “Fine!” Greg snapped. “Why don’t you put the ring on and see if it can tell you what to do?”

  “It doesn’t work like that,” Lewis mumbled. He put a hand in his pocket and squeezed the ring between his fingers. It was then that the answer came to him.

  “Susie,” he said excitedly, “do you remember how Thor used the hammer to snatch the ring off Loki?”

  “Sure,” said Susie. “It’s magnetic.”

  “Do you think you could do the same thing with that shield?”

  Greg shot him an approving grin. “Lewis, I think you’re on to something!”

  “I don’t know how he made it work,” said Susie, “but I’ll give it a try.”

  Gripping Mjolnir in both hands, she pointed the hammer at the shield and concentrated. “Come on,” she muttered. “Come to Susie, you wee dustbin lid.”

  At first nothing happened, then Lewis noticed that the shield was quivering. “Keep it up,” he urged. “It’s starting to work.”

  Susie gritted her teeth and focused on drawing the shield towards her. It slid forward on its edge away from the wall, then rose into the air. All at once it started spinning and flew towards them. Greg took a step back and Lewis instinctively threw up an arm to protect himself, but Susie didn’t budge an inch.