Thor Is Locked in My Garage!

by Robert J. Harris

  With a clang, the shield crashed into the force barrier. There was a terrible screeching sound and sparks flew everywhere, then the shield clattered to the ground. The metal was scorched and the jewel in the centre had burnt to a cinder.

  The shimmer in the air had vanished. Lewis walked forwards with his arm extended. “The force wall is down,” he announced.

  “It short-circuited itself!” Susie exclaimed in delight. “Good thinking, Lewis!”

  Greg stooped to pick up the shield. “Ouch!” he complained, sucking his finger. “It’s blazing hot!”

  “It won’t work now anyway,” said Lewis. “Like Susie said, it’s burnt out.”

  “Well, what are we waiting for?” said Susie, brandishing the hammer. “Let’s go and catch that rat!”

  They hurried inside the palace then skidded to a halt. In the middle of the entrance hall loomed a ferocious looking dragon, its head almost brushing the rafters. Its gaping jaws showed a double row of fangs as sharp as daggers and its upraised claws looked like they could tear a tank in half.

  Greg reeled back and grabbed his brother’s arm. “You could have warned us about this, Lewis!”

  Susie hefted Mjolnir to strike, then relaxed with a laugh. “It’s okay, guys. It’s just a statue.”

  “Sure, I knew that,” said Greg, recovering his swagger. Even though he could see now that the dragon was made of stone, he still kept a wary eye on it.

  “We still have a bit of a problem though,” said Susie. “There’s a dozen different ways we could go from here.”

  Beyond the dragon countless passages and stairways opened up before them.

  “Lewis, we’ll never find our way without help,” said Greg.

  “All right,” said Lewis, “but don’t complain if I give you a guided tour.”

  He slipped the ring on and its power hit him with a jolt. The layout of the palace was so complex, its history so ancient, that there was more information than he could sort through. It was like a toy train set inside his head, with a hundred trains zooming around it all at once, in constant danger of collision.

  Rubbing his brow, he waved his hand vaguely. “This way… I think.”

  “You think?” said Greg. “You’re supposed to know.”

  “Take it easy, Greg,” said Susie. “Can you not see it’s stressing him out?”

  “Okay, Lewis,” said Greg, his tone softening, “you go on ahead and we’ll follow.”

  Lewis led them up a stairway and through an arch. They passed down a long corridor lined with statues of once heroic figures who now stood with sagging shoulders, their faces weary and depressed. They walked through halls where tables were laid out for feasts – but the plates and goblets were empty and covered in layers of dust.

  On the walls were tapestries, their colours long faded with age, depicting tired deer slouching among dead, leafless trees. Mud coloured carpets were rough and threadbare beneath their feet. All through the palace there was the dismal air of neglect.

  When Lewis tried to tell the others about the areas they were passing through, for the ring compelled him to try, he found it impossible to make sense. “Sheep, margarine, loophole,” he muttered. “I mean extra frog cappuccino… Och, the words keep jumbling up.”

  “Give it up, Lewis,” said Greg. “Just keep walking.”

  At last they came to a set of double doors on which was carved what had once been a battle scene, but now all the warriors had slumped to the ground, too weak to lift their weapons. The doors were ajar, allowing the three youngsters to pass through into a hall as long as a football pitch. The walls on both sides were lined with suits of dull, empty armour topped by helmets decorated with drooping horns and moulded wings.

  At the far end was a raised dais supporting a throne. Approaching it with a jaunty step was Loki. He hopped on to the dais, spun round and plumped himself down on the throne.

  “Hel-lo, Asgard!” he exclaimed in a happy sing-song voice.

  Instantly, a shimmering glow enveloped the dais. A deep throbbing note rang out, like a chord being struck on an enormous piano. It echoed all around them, like an unseen orchestra tuning up

  “That’s right, I’m back, baby!” Loki declared, his green eyes flashing with wicked delight.

  15. Ragnarok and a Hard Place

  Lewis yanked off the ring, ridding himself of the jangling in his head.

  Susie grasped his arm to steady him and guided him along behind Greg, who was striding forward to challenge the god of mischief.

  At the sight of them, a hateful sneer curled Loki’s lip.

  “You three have more luck than is decent. I could have sworn the shield would stop you cold.”

  “Take it from a top goal scorer,” said Susie, “there’s no such thing as a perfect defence.”

  “You know,” said Loki, “I’ve just about had it with you kids and your meddling.”

  “You’re wasting your time,” Greg told him. “This place is as dead as a doughnut. Why don’t you come back to Earth so you and Thor can talk it over?”

  Loki laughed contemptuously. “Earth? That dung heap! It will be a hot day in Niflheim before you see me there again. In fact, it may be time to do away with it once and for all.”

  “I don’t think so, Larry,” said Greg. “We’re here to cancel Rubberduck.”

  Loki slammed an angry fist down on the arm of his throne. “That’s Ragnarok, you bonehead! Ragnarok!”

  Greg shrugged. “I’ve heard it both ways.”

  “You’re pretty full of yourself, aren’t you?” said Susie. “You think you can just waltz in and take over the universe.”

  “Pretty much,” Loki agreed.

  The rows of torches lining the walls suddenly sprouted flame and the lanterns hanging from the vaulted ceiling blossomed with light. There was a resounding CLANK as the rows of armour drew themselves up to attention, gripping axes, spears and swords in their iron gauntlets. All of a sudden they flashed in the firelight, as though polished up for inspection.

  “Asgard is powering up,” said Loki slyly, “and I’m the only god in town.”

  Susie leaned in close to Greg and asked. “What do we do now?”

  “He’s not so tough,” said Greg. “Between the three of us we can drag him off that throne before he can do any damage. Ready, Lewis?”

  Lewis nodded numbly. He was so shaky from the effects of the ring, he couldn’t think of anything to do except follow Greg’s lead.

  Greg started forward. In response Loki snapped his fingers and a ring of fire sprang up all round the dais. The three youngsters drew back reflexively as a wave of heat washed over them.

  “Like I was saying,” sneered Loki, “I’m the boss here now, and there’s nobody to help you.”

  From behind them came a series of clangs and clashes. Lewis looked round and saw that one by one the suits of armour were pulling away from the walls and lurching toward them.

  “Boys,” said Susie through gritted teeth, “I hate to say this, but it looks like we’ve got a battle on our hands.”

  Loki looked on smugly as the empty suits of armour closed in on the three mortals. Their movements were slow but relentless, and their raised weapons glittered dangerously.

  “You can’t stop us with a lot of scrap metal,” Greg challenged him.

  “I’ll say this for you, kid,” said Loki, “you’ve got more nerve than a rotten tooth.”

  The three youngsters drew together as the suits of armour clanked closer and closer.

  “We should rush him,” said Susie, “before he gets even more powerful.”

  “What, through a wall of fire?” Lewis exclaimed.

  “Maybe if you put the ring on, it will tell you how to switch the flames off,” Greg suggested.

  Lewis groaned at the thought of the headache he was in for, but it was worth a try. He pulled the ring out of his pocket, but before he could slide it on to his finger, the nearest metal warrior took a swing at him with a two-handed sword.

&n
bsp; Greg snatched him out of the way, but as the blade flashed past his nose, Lewis dropped the ring and saw it roll off between a pair of iron feet.

  “Rats!” Greg exclaimed. He started to go after the ring, but Susie hooked his arm to keep him back.

  “Don’t be stupid!” she said. “One of those things will have your head off!”

  More armoured suits were pressing forward.

  “We’d better get out of here while we still can,” said Lewis.

  “Right!” Greg agreed.

  Moving nimbly, thanks to the Shoes of Vidar, he charged through the remaining gap, bumping two metal guards aside. Lewis and Susie darted after him, but they could see that suits of armour had come to life all over the hall. They had completely blocked off their route to the door.

  “We’ll never make it that way,” said Greg. “Quick, up those stairs!”

  He pointed to a stairway in a corner of the room. They made a dash for it, but as they reached the first step, a suit of armour wielding a club lurched out of the shadows to block their path.

  “Leave this to me,” said Susie, her eyes blazing.

  She took a swing with Mjolnir and sent the helmet flying off the armoured shoulders with a loud clang. The headless warrior staggered for a moment, then fell over. Susie jumped over the heap of metal with a whoop and the three of them raced up the stairs.

  The metal warriors tried to follow, but as they crowded on to the narrow stair, they got tangled up with each other and went clattering back down to the bottom.

  “Those boys have got a lot to learn about teamwork,” Susie commented with a grin.

  They ducked under an arch and down a passage that took them to a long gallery. Lined up along one wall of the gallery were a dozen dwarfs in pointed helmets, each clutching a double-headed axe.

  “Whoa! More trouble!” Greg exclaimed, pulling the other two back.

  Lewis squinted at the dwarfs and breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s okay. They’re just statues, like the dragon was.”

  Susie eyed the dwarfs as they hurried past them to the other end of the gallery. “They may not be very big,” she noted, “but they look pretty fierce.”

  They passed through a doorway at the far end and came to a corridor that branched off in two directions.

  “We need to find a way around the throne room that will take us back to the entrance,” said Greg. “So how about it, Lewis? Which way do we go?”

  Lewis rubbed his brow, trying to remember the layout of the palace the way it had appeared to him while he was wearing the ring, but his recollection of the halls, chambers and corridors was all scrambled, like a deck of cards tossed into the air.

  “It’s hard to sort it all out,” he groaned. His head started to throb like it did when he was wearing the ring. “That door there,” he said, pointing.

  “Are you sure?” asked Greg.

  Lewis shook his head. “It’s more a hunch than anything else.”

  “Well, it’s all we’ve got,” said Susie. “Let’s go!”

  They entered a new gallery lined with tapestries of forest scenes that fluttered as they passed, as if disturbed by a gust of wind. Lewis was sure he glimpsed beastly eyes lurking among the woven trees, spying on them as they hurried by.

  “What’s that growling?” said Greg. “It sounds like it’s coming from those pictures.”

  “Best if we don’t find out,” said Lewis, pushing him on.

  The next door led to another gallery. The walls here were hung on both sides with long mirrors made from polished metal. As they passed between them, hundreds of reflections sprang up, like an army leaping out of ambush.

  Lewis paused to peer at himself in the shiny metal. To his astonishment, his reflection pointed an accusing finger at him and yelled, “Where do you think you’re going?”

  “Shut up, Lewis!” Greg hissed.

  Before Lewis could open his mouth to protest, all of Greg’s reflections leaned towards him. “Shut up, Lewis!” they shouted in chorus.

  All of Lewis’ reflections now jumped up and down, yelling, “Here they are! They’re in the mirror gallery!”

  Images of Susie all down the gallery cupped their hands around their mouths and shouted, “Guards! Guards! Come and nab them before they get away!”

  “Talk about being your own worst enemy,” said Susie.

  Covering their ears to block out the din, they barged through the door and banged it shut behind them. Back in the gallery, their reflections were still raising the alarm.

  “As long as we’re in the palace, Loki will find us,” said Greg. “The throne lets him control everything in the place.”

  “Right,” Susie agreed. “We need to find a way out before he brings the roof down on us or something.”

  They were now in a large banqueting hall where wooden benches ran down both sides of a long table. The walls were decorated with hunting trophies, drooping antlers and sad-looking animal skulls.

  “We should keep going this way,” said Lewis, pointing to the door at the far end.

  They had no sooner reached it than there came a grating, clomping sound from the other side. Freezing in fright, they watched in horror as something enormous took a huge bite out of the door. Through the hole they saw the snout of a huge lizard chewing on the wood.

  “Oh no,” groaned Lewis. “More bad news!”

  “It’s that stone dragon we saw at the entrance,” said Greg. “Loki’s brought it to life and sent it after us.”

  “Oh he’s a right stinker!” Susie exclaimed bitterly.

  “We need to go back the other way,” said Greg, leading the retreat. “At least the mirrors won’t eat us.”

  The dragon took another bite out of the door, which was all the encouragement they needed to take to their heels. However, even as they fled, the door to the mirror gallery was smashed open and a troop of stone dwarfs came marching out, brandishing their axes.

  “Those guys!” Greg groaned. “We’re right in the mincer now!”

  “Look!” Susie cried. “There’s a wee door there, under those antlers!” They bolted for that door as the dragon burst into the hall and the dwarfs formed a column and marched after them.

  “In here!” snapped Susie, flinging open the door and bundling the brothers through. They stumbled into a room furnished with a table and a few chairs. There was a window in the far wall.

  “That was a bit of a gamble, Spinny,” Greg grumbled. “For all you knew, this could have been a broom cupboard.”

  “And there’s no way out,” Lewis noted glumly.

  “Oh shut up and help me block the door,” Susie ordered.

  They piled the few items of furniture against the door. From outside they could hear the stone dragon’s rasping breath.

  “That won’t hold for long,” said Lewis gazing at the flimsy barricade.

  Susie dashed to the window and when she turned round she was grinning. “It’s okay, there’s a ledge out here.”

  The boys joined her at the window and when Lewis looked out his stomach lurched. “It’s only a couple of feet wide and we’re three floors up!” he gasped.

  “Well it’s better than waiting around here to get eaten,” said Susie. She started to climb outside.

  “She’s right,” said Greg, following her. “Come on Lewis, get a move on!”

  There was a crash against the door and Lewis saw the wood start to splinter. He clambered out of the window and teetered anxiously on the ledge.

  16. A Splash in the Pool of Urd

  Slowly, Lewis worked himself sideways after the other two.

  “Hurry up, Lewis!” Greg urged.

  “It’s all right for you,” Lewis complained. “With those magic shoes on you can’t put a foot wrong.”

  There was a terrible crash as the door burst apart and with a roar the dragon bashed the flimsy barrier aside.

  “Look, just keep close to the wall and you’ll be fine,” said Greg. “I won’t let you fall.”

  The drago
n’s stone snout scraped through the window, but its head was too big to fit through. It gave a disgusted snort and ground its jaws in frustration. That was enough to speed Lewis along the ledge until he was pressed against Greg’s side.

  With a growl of frustration the dragon pulled back inside. One of the stone dwarfs crawled clumsily on to the ledge. As he drew himself upright he overbalanced and toppled to the ground. He hit the paving below with a resounding crash and shattered into a hundred pieces.

  “Not exactly gymnasts, are they?” said Greg.

  The other dwarfs bunched round the window and made a low moaning noise, as though shocked at the sight of their fallen comrade. None of them dared to follow.

  Susie, Greg and Lewis continued to edge their way carefully around the corner of the palace. Above them the grey clouds were breaking up and a radiant sun blazed across the bright blue sky. From this height they could see out over the rooftops of Asgard.

  The halls and palaces of the gods, which had looked ancient and derelict when they first arrived, now shone white and gold in the glorious sunlight, as if they had been newly built that day. Flashing banners of silver and green flew from the many towers, fluttering in the fresh breeze that was blowing across the city.

  “Look!” said Susie pointing down. “There’s some kind of a pond down there.”

  Below was a large circular pool of crystal clear water, the edge of which came right up to the palace wall. A memory jumped into Lewis’ mind from when the ring had mapped out the whole of Asgard in his head.

  “It’s called the Pool of Urd,” he said. “That’s the House of the Norns on the other side and that’s where they—”

  “Forget the geography lesson!” Greg cut him off. “The point is we can jump from here and land in the water.”

  “Are you kidding?” said Lewis. “From this height?”

  “This is nothing,” said Susie. “Easy peasy.”

  “Maybe for you,” Lewis protested.

  “What’s the big deal?” said Greg. “Last time we were at the Olympia pool in Dundee you jumped off a diving board this high.”