Of Love

by Sean Michael

  “I hope so.” Kent stopped on the stairs on the way up to the master. “Are you sure, love? That you want to be a dad with me?”

  A dad. Still scary as fuck, but as Dex looked up at Kent, he knew he would try his absolute best if it meant being with Kent. “I’m sure that I want to be a dad. With you.”

  “Oh.” Kent sat down on the stairs, hard. “Oh God.”

  “Kent?” Had he done something wrong? Did Kent not want him on this journey? “What’s wrong?”

  “I… I prayed and hoped and wanted. You just gave me everything I ever wanted.”

  “Yeah? I think the lady with three babies inside her is contributing a lot.” He had to tease, had to try to diffuse the intensity a little.

  “Yeah. You haven’t met her yet. She’s the size of a house.”

  “Yeah, well you put three babies into her. She should probably hit you or something.” He kissed Kent. “Come on. Let’s go make plans for our master bedroom.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, sounds great. Our master. Wow.”

  He laughed and kissed Kent. “This feels like a dream.”

  “Then maybe we won’t wake up.”

  “God, I hope not. I truly do.”

  Scary as fuck but also the right decision. Dex could feel it, deep down in his soul.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “I BOUGHT a house with Dex, Mom.”

  There was a moment of silence, then a happy scream. “Oh my GOD! I’m getting a son-in-law!” She almost sounded more excited about that than she had about grandchildren.

  Kent looked over at Dex, knowing he had to have heard. Dex was chuckling, shaking his head.

  “Tell her I’m a brat, and she might regret that.”

  “Dex says he’s a brat.”

  “Nonsense. Can you boys come for supper, tell us all about it?”

  He passed the request on to Dex.

  “Oh man, the grilling is about to start, isn’t it?” Dex said.

  “Welcome to having a bigger family.” When was he going to meet Dex’s mom?

  Dex pulled out his phone. “There isn’t a night I’m not eating for racing for the next few weeks, but tonight or tomorrow night I’m the most flexible.”

  “Okay, Mom. We’ll be there tonight. Call Sis?”

  “Sounds great. I’m so excited for you both!”

  Dex was laughing again when Kent hung up, shaking his head. “We’re going tonight, huh?”

  “Yeah. Have… have you told your mom about me?”

  “I did. I spoke to her around Christmas. I guess I should call her about the house and babies, eh?” Dex leaned forward, took his hand. “Don’t take it personally when she’s not excited like your mom is, okay? Our relationship isn’t like your family’s.”

  “I won’t. I want your excitement, that’s all.” Maybe a little excitement from Dex’s mom.

  “You think we should be married?” Dex asked him.

  “Do you want to be married to me?” What an odd conversation.

  “Well, your mom said I was her son-in-law. I’m not really, though, am I? If we’re not married. And would it be easier for the kids if their dads were married? It’s recognized now, legal. It’d be like a political shout-out if we did.” Dex touched his cheek. “I don’t care if we’re married or not, though, Kent. I just want to be yours, and I don’t need a ceremony to know we belong together.”

  “I’d love to be yours legally.” Was this how it was supposed to happen? Casual, quiet?

  “Oh.” Dex blinked a few times, then laughed, his whole face lighting up, and he fell off the couch onto his knees and took both of Kent’s hands.

  “Kent McMann, will you marry me?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I most totally absolutely will. I mean, I do. Yes.”

  Laughing, Dex leaned up and kissed him.

  “Are we engaged?” Kent asked as they rested their foreheads together.

  “We are. I still feel like I’m dreaming,” Dex admitted.

  “Wait until we’re moving, getting ready for the babies.” It was going to be so fast.

  “Don’t remind me. The renovations start in two weeks. Do you think they’ll be done in time for the babies?”

  “They’ll have to be. Triplets tend to be early, but she’s doing great so far. I want you to meet her.”

  “Okay. Whatever you want. And I’ll ride the contractor, make sure things get done on time.”

  “I guess I have a question—What do you think about Melody for a little girl’s name?”

  Chapter Nineteen

  DEX WAS making terrible time, he just knew it. He couldn’t find his rhythm, couldn’t clear his head and just go. He’d been middle of the pack for the swimming and the biking, and now he was just trying to finish the running, period. It probably shouldn’t have surprised him; there was so much on his mind.

  The wedding. Meeting the in-laws on a terribly regular basis—Mom wanted them over for supper every damn week, and while he liked Kent’s folks, he wasn’t used to all this family togetherness.

  Then there were the renovations. They were actually on time so far, but they were so over budget it wasn’t funny. Every day there was another phone call about some surprise that had been uncovered and would need more money thrown at it to fix it.

  And the babies. God. Dex was trying not to think about them, about being a father. They had lists and lists of stuff they needed to buy, a nanny to find, and then on top of it all, he didn’t think Elizabeth liked him. Plus she was feeling sick all the time.

  He just couldn’t deal with it and run.

  Dex pictured Kent’s face in his head, his lover smiling, laughing, rubbing him down after the race, and he ran. Finally, finally his head cleared of all the thoughts chasing each other, and he felt himself click into that rhythm. He was so into it that he didn’t realize he’d crossed the finish line until someone threw a blanket around his shoulders.

  Then he heard it, someone cheering his name. No. Someones cheering his name. Kent and his entire family and a huge group of friends cheering for him.

  He waved, grabbing a Gatorade as it was handed to him, and headed for the cheerers, still jogging lightly.

  “Go Uncle Dex! You did it!” The girls’ voices made him grin.

  “I did.” His eyes moved to Kent. “How did I do?”

  “Not your best time, but given the stress, you did great.” Kent looked so proud.

  “Cool. I really need to keep walking so I don’t seize up.”

  “I’ll come with.” Kent walked with him, handed him a towel.

  “Thanks.” He drank down more of the Gatorade. “I can’t believe your whole family came out.”

  “The family, Elizabeth’s husband and kids, some of the guys from Tech for Life.” Kent shrugged. “You’ve a lot on your mind. I thought you could use a boost.”

  He stopped them and kissed Kent. “You’re so good to me.”

  “I love you. Hell, I intend to marry you and start a family. I ought to be.”

  “I still appreciate it, sweet.” Dex kept walking, his legs feeling really wobbly. He finished off the Gatorade.

  “All my people are going to head home after you say hi. I told them you’d need some downtime.”

  “Oh, thank you.” It was nice to have the support, but he couldn’t do social right now. He was too wrecked. “You’ll be staying, though?”

  “Where else would I be?”

  He beamed at Kent, then nodded. “Okay, let’s go say hi.”

  “Works for me, love.”

  He just wanted to get the making nice over. Kent’s family was awesome, but Kent was absolutely right. He needed downtime after a race, and he’d started to get used to that downtime being him and Kent.

  The girls had made him a card and a poster that everyone had signed.

  “Wow, this is really special. It totally makes up for me not placing well.” He gave them each hugs.

  “You did great!” Kent’s dad eyed the course. “You think I could do this?”

&
nbsp; “I think anyone can. With the right buildup and training.” It wasn’t something you did on a lark.

  “Yeah? Do you do that? I mean, for money?”

  Kent looked at his dad, blinked. “Are you trying to hire my fiancé?”

  “I think I’d like to try this. I’m in good shape.”

  “If you’re serious about it, we can have a conversation about it.” He wasn’t a trainer per se, but he’d done the apps, and he knew what he was doing. It could work.

  “Sure. Later. Right now you need to recover and rest.” Brian was all smiles.

  Kent nodded. “He does. I’ll call you guys later. Love you!”

  “Love you!” they all called back.

  God. So much family. And he was becoming a part of it. Willingly. Dex looked over at Kent. Yeah, he sure was. He gave them a wave and leaned on Kent as they headed toward the lot reserved for participants.

  “How are you feeling, babe?” Kent had him, was holding him like he was precious.

  “A little rough. I turned it on hard at the end.” He was still kind of wobbly for sure.

  “You were flying.” Kent always thought he did great.

  “Thanks, sweet.” He took another kiss. “I was having trouble finding my mojo.”

  “Yeah? What’s up?” Kent got him in the car, buckled up, a bottle of water in his hand.

  “There’s just a lot on our plates, you know? I was having trouble blocking it out.”

  “Yeah. I’m sorry, honey.” Nothing seemed to faze Kent. Nothing.

  “Not your fault. Except that you’re so hot that I asked you to marry me.” He gave Kent a wink.

  “You… are you having second thoughts?”

  “What? No. I just wish we were already on the other side of the wedding.” He’d envisioned the two of them going to city hall and then throwing a big dinner at a restaurant afterward. Kent’s mom had kyboshed that idea just by her sheer enthusiasm for throwing them a “real” wedding.

  He hadn’t had the heart to say no.

  “I don’t want to do a big wedding,” Kent said quietly.

  Dex whipped his head around. “Really? Because your mom….” She had some plans. Like lots. Big plans.

  “I know you and she have made all these plans, but…. The babies are coming and the construction, and I’m tired, Dex. Already. I love you. You love me. That’s enough, isn’t it?”

  He stopped and looked at Kent. Really looked. His lover was drawn and tight-lipped. Tired. Kent was tired. God, how had he missed that? He’d been so wrapped up in his own head.

  “I was just trying to make you and her happy. I just want something small and intimate. A big dinner at the restaurant after for everyone….” It looked to him like maybe they were both on the same page.

  “Let’s just go on Monday, please?” Kent asked.

  “Just the two of us?” It sounded perfect.

  “Yes. You. Me. Like it started.”

  He laughed and hugged Kent, leaning hard against him. “Oh yes. Please.”

  “Yeah?” Kent relaxed, the ease visible, and started the SUV. “Let’s go to the condo and get you in the shower.”

  “That sounds perfect.” He put his hand on Kent’s thigh, just resting it there lightly. “I’ll be able to call you husband on Monday.”

  “My husband. Wow.” Kent grinned at him.

  “You’re not going to think less of me if I hide behind you when you tell your mom, are you?”

  “We’ll call her. She’ll put all that energy into a baby shower.”

  “Oh God.” Dex laughed. That thought didn’t feel nearly as stressful as the whole wedding thing had.

  “Yeah. We need to pick cribs out, strollers. Stuff.”

  “Not today, though.” Dex didn’t want to have to think about all that. He just wanted to go back to his place, shower, and sleep, make love to his man.

  “No. Today you recover, and I have Antonio’s being delivered later.”

  “Really? Oh, I could so go for some scallops Alfredo.” He could almost taste it, and his stomach growled.

  “I sent the e-mail this morning.”

  “You really are too good to me.” Dex squeezed Kent’s leg gently, letting his eyes close.

  That was the thing he had to remember when he couldn’t get his thoughts to turn off. He wasn’t in this alone, he was in it with Kent. It didn’t get much better than that.

  Chapter Twenty

  “WE’RE GETTING married, Mom. Just us. I need you to deal with the baby shower. I’m so overwhelmed by the stuff.” And that was that. Kent didn’t want a huge deal. He wanted a nap.

  He heard her gasp, heard her start to say something several times. Then she sighed. “Are you sure? I would do all the work.”

  “Mom, I love you, but I’m tired and I need you to help with the whole shower thing, registering. All that. We’ve still got to hire a nanny.”

  “You know I would be happy to—”

  He cut her off. “We’re getting a nanny, Mom.”

  “Okay, okay. I’m going to be a frequent visitor, though. Those are my grandbabies.”

  “I know, and I want you to be involved, but you have a life too. We’ll hire someone amazing,” he promised.

  “As long as you don’t invite her to your wedding, I’m good with that.”

  “It’s just going to be me and Dex. We’ll have a big supper this weekend to celebrate, complete with reservations and dress-up clothes.” And that was what he wanted, what he needed.

  “Okay. You’re always going to be my baby boy. And I love you.”

  “I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

  “Okay, honey.” The line went dead.

  Kent sighed, knowing she wanted a huge, fabulous gay wedding, but he didn’t. He wanted a peaceful, quiet afternoon thing with his lover. Which is why he’d called her this morning instead of earlier. He didn’t want to chance anyone showing up.

  Dex came in, wearing a suit and tie, looking so handsome. “Is this good? I like the purple tie, but the navy blue one was nice too.”

  “You look amazing, lover.”

  Dex stopped to pose for him. “Thanks. You’re looking pretty damn good yourself. Like you’re getting married or something.”

  “I know, right?” Kent gave a little twirl.

  “Careful now. You’re going to make me want to jump your bones pre-ceremony.”

  “I think we’re supposed to be virgins,” he teased.

  “We are! Born again, huh?”

  “You and me, babe.” Kent took Dex’s hands, held them. “We’re going to get married. You and me.”

  “I know.” Dex squeezed his hands. “It’s amazing.”

  “Yeah?” Part of him still didn’t believe it, that Dex wanted him, the babies. Everything.

  “Yeah. You’re something special and all mine. If that’s not amazing, what is?” Dex asked.

  “I love you. I want to spend the rest of our lives together.” Forever. Kent wanted forever.

  “Ditto. And I promise to have better vows than that when we’re in front of the judge,” Dex said.

  “Are you scared?” Kent asked.

  “Of marrying you? Not at all. Are you?”

  “No. No, this is my dream, love. My soul.”

  Dex beamed at him and tugged him in for a long, tight hug. “Good. I love you.”

  “I love you too.” Kent grabbed his wallet. “Let’s go, babe. Let’s do this.”

  Dex was right there with him, no hesitation at all, backing up his words. “I can’t wait to make you Mr. Lochland.”

  “Oh. Yes. Yes, I can’t wait.” His eyes filled with tears, and they headed through the moving boxes to the elevator.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  DEX LAY on the big hotel bed, glass of champagne in his hand, feeding Kent the biggest chocolate-covered strawberries he’d ever seen. It had been a little wedding gift from him to Kent—the fanciest hotel suite he could find.

  They’d made love in the bed, in the tub,
in front of the fireplace in the living room, and in the bed again. He was exhausted, melted, and totally happy, wrapped up in Kent.

  “Mmm. Hey, Mr. McMann.”

  Dex couldn’t believe the peace in Kent’s face.

  “Hey, Mr. Lochland. You want another strawberry? Some more champagne? Or do you want another go-round with me?” Dex waggled his eyebrows.

  “Oooh. Yes, please!” Kent kissed him and grabbed another strawberry to share.

  Dex ate it with him, both of them working from one end, their lips soon sliding together as the flavor of chocolate and strawberry danced on his tongue. God, this was perfect. Magical. Everything he’d imagined.

  He traced Kent’s features. His husband’s features. His husband. Wow.

  Kent’s phone went off and Dex groaned.

  “Let me see who it is.” Kent grabbed it, and to Dex’s surprise, didn’t just turn it off. “Hey, ho— What? What? When? Where? Okay, which hospital? No. No, we’re coming. Just relax. We’re coming.”

  That didn’t sound good. “Hospital?”

  “They can’t find the babies’ heartbeats. They’ve rushed her to the hospital. Elizabeth. Our babies.”

  “Oh God.” Dex got up and went to their bags, pulling out clothes. Having the babies scared the shit out of him, but the thought of losing them hurt him somewhere deep inside.

  He pushed clothes into Kent’s arms and pulled a pair of jeans on, a T-shirt. “I’ll call us a cab.”

  “I…. Okay? Okay? I…. Dex?”

  Dex grabbed Kent’s arms and looked into his gaze. “They’re going to be okay. This is our day.”

  “They’re going to be okay. You swear?” Kent asked him.

  Dex nodded. “I swear.”

  He couldn’t know that, he knew he couldn’t. It was what Kent needed to hear right now, though.

  Kent took a deep breath. “Okay. All right. Let’s go. They need us.”

  “You should put those clothes on first, sweet.”

  “Oh. Oh right. Clothes.”

  “Yeah. Come on. Get dressed so we can go.” He grabbed his phone and ordered a taxi online.