Dead, Sweet Boy (Book One - Dead, Sweet Series)

by Susan MacQuoid

  “Sunny, could you pass the butter?” I jumped like the freak I was, when Clay’s question shot through my thoughts of Rick like a missile.

  “Sunny?” he asked again. The girl next to me gave me a little jab with her elbow. It made me furious. If she were so concerned, why didn’t she pass him the butter?

  I passed the butter to her, and looked back down at my plate. It was almost empty, while the other plates on the table looked as if they had just been started on. Great. On top of my good looks and charm, I was also a pig. Why should it matter? These people were nothing to me. They were just another place where I had to pass time.

  Pull yourself together. You’ve been through this before.

  The voice invaded me again. “After lunch, we’ll groom the horses.”

  The other girls seemed excited about the task. They bombarded Clay with requests for the horse they wanted to groom. He laughed, and told them to settle down. I could feel his laughter like a swirl in my belly, making me want to go back to the hard garden, instead of our next task. I was the only one who didn’t have experience with horses, so I would be his student. Not at all a tolerable situation in my condition, whatever that was.

  There was a routine for cleanup after each meal. I was shown my name on the list of household chores, and handed a broom. So I swept, while everyone else went about their duties like a dance. They were all finished before me, and waiting. The trick was, no one left until all the work was done. It was embarrassing to have all eyes on me, while I gathered the last of the dirt on the floor into a pile. The dust pan seemed to appear out of nowhere, attached to Bobby.

  Someone in the group of girls said, “Oh, brother,” under her breath. They all waited while I nervously swept the pile into the dust pan. When Bobby straightened himself up, it was their queue to pile out the back door.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, afraid to look in his eyes.

  “No problem. You’ll catch on.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Are you still in pain?” His voice was concerned. He noticed.

  “Yes.”

  “Sunny!” Clay snapped from the back door. I jumped. “Let’s go.”

  When I looked in his direction, his face was angry, but he wasn’t looking at me. His glare was meant for Bobby. When I looked at Bobby, I caught the tail end of a reciprocal glare.

  “She’ll be there in a minute. I’m going to check her wound,” Bobby said. If he was angry about something it didn’t show in his voice.

  “I can do that,” Clay snapped. “I’m sure you have better things to do.”

  “No, not really. Go ahead, and she’ll be out in a minute. The girls are waiting for you.”

  “No tricks Bobby.” Clay let the door slam behind him. What did he mean by that? I watched through a window as he stormed across the grounds to the barn. Bobby let out a little chuckle, as he held my elbow to guide me to the kitchen. His touch was so warm and comforting, not at all what I expected. The way my body was acting, I figured I would fall out on the floor or something.

  “Let’s see,” he said softly. His strong hand gently guided my chin so he could take a better look as he removed the bandage. The flash of a grimace let me know that it was bad. Quickly he changed his face back to the calm that matched his voice. “It’s not so bad,” he lied.

  While he addressed the wound, I got the feeling he wanted to tell me something. No, it was more than a feeling. When I looked at his face, I saw a struggle. His eyes looked so deeply into mine, like he was searching for something in them.

  “What?” I whispered. His closeness was comfortable now.

  “There are rules here.” His hand moved from my cheek and brushed a piece of hair from my face.

  “What does that mean?” I asked. My fingers reached up to my face to get a feel for the damage. There were so many stitches, and the wound was so long and jagged. I gasped. Bobby shook his head and backed away a little. His attention went to putting some antibiotic cream on fresh gauze. “What rules?” I insisted.

  “There. You’re all fixed up,” he answered. “You need to think about the rules.” Again he looked like he wanted to say something. “You better get out there with the other girls,” he said more sternly. Again his hand lightly brushed my face. I wanted to ask what he meant again, but before I could, he walked out the back door. When I followed, he pointed in the direction of the horse barn without saying a word. I knew better than to follow him, but I wasn’t about to let it go. So I followed him into a barn that was filled with all kinds of tractors and equipment.

  “Tell me…”

  “Sunny, you are expected in the horse barn,” he snapped.

  “But what did you want to say to me?” I knew it was important somehow. “Do you know something I should know? What is it?”

  Again, his face looked so concerned. For an instant I thought he might just tell me whatever secret he had, but instead he took in a deep breath. “Clay’s looking for you,” he warned. I looked and I couldn’t see Clay, but I felt the concern in Bobby’s face, so I backed out of the building. Bobby turned and watched me leave. He looked so conflicted.

  “There you are,” Clay sounded, from behind me. I let out a little scream. “Are you lost? The horse barn is over there.”

  “Oh,” I whimpered.

  “You weren’t trying to avoid me were you?” he joked. At least I thought it was a joke.

  “No,” I shook my head as I spoke, feeling like I had been caught doing something wrong. Clay turned to look at the machine barn, as if he knew why I was there. It gave me the creeps.

  “Here, take this,” he said, handing me some sort of rope with a clip on the end. “See that horse in the pasture? Go get him and bring him to me.”

  “Huh? Me?”

  “Yes, you silly.”

  “I don’t know how to get a horse.” He had to be kidding. There were two horses in the pasture, and they were both big enough to kill me.

  Clay laughed, making my belly swirl with fear and excitement. “See this?” he asked, showing me the metal clip on the end of the rope. “Connect the lead rope to his halter and bring him to me. Go ahead, he’s very gentle.”

  “Gentle.” I repeated after him. “Right.”

  “Hurry up now,” he sort of ordered. I didn’t get him. There was an edge to every word and action coming from him, whether he was calm or not. There was something dangerous maybe about him, and it felt a little familiar.

  I walked to the gate and looked over at the horses in the pasture. One was jet black, with red and orange colors radiating from it. Not so gentle, was the feeling I was getting. The other horse was white with a few black spots on her rump. A softer pink around that one, made me choose it. I didn’t know the difference between a girl horse and a boy, so I figured the gentleness I felt meant it was my target.

  “Not that one,” he yelled when I approached the white horse. “The black one is my horse. Bring him here.”

  I didn’t want to get near the black horse. It was so, well strong and jumpy. Clay was waiting impatiently, so I took a step in the horse’s direction, while saying a little prayer for my safety. The horse lifted its head from eating the grass and stepped away. When I took another step, I got the feeling the horse was giving me a warning as it shook its head around wildly and scraped a front hoof on the ground several times.

  I wanted to run. From behind me I heard the white horse getting closer, making me tense up and drop the lead rope. My body couldn’t move, but I flinched when the white horse moved in between me and the angry black horse. The two horses reared up and struck each other right in front of me.

  Where is he? I expected Clay to come to my aide, but instead I heard him laugh and give out a whistle. The black horse leaped away from the next strike and ran to him. The white horse stood in front of me, snorting out what seemed like a warning to its fleeing enemy.

  “Were you protecting me?” I asked softly. The horse surprised me when it walked up and nudged its head against
my arm. “Okay, don’t hurt me,” I said nervously. It nudged me again. It wanted me to pet it, I knew. But I didn’t know how.

  “Sunny, come get this horse,” Clay ordered.

  “No way,” I said under my breath. I didn’t care if they took me out back and flogged me for disobeying; there wasn’t a chance in hell that I was going to touch that crazy horse. I bent down and picked up the lead rope. When I petted the face of my new friend, I knew I had nothing to fear. Quickly I clipped the lead rope to its halter and called out to Clay, “I pick this one.”

  “You know she can’t handle that horse,” I heard Bobby yelling as he approached Clay. I couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation, just Clay laughing. The two reminded me of the horses. The conversation ended when I approached with my choice of horses.

  Bobby opened the gate and grabbed the halter of the wild black horse and told me to lead the horse I had out of the pasture. Clay seemed to be enjoying the whole scene, but his face changed when Bobby came to see if I was alright.

  “I’m fine,” I assured him. Even though my knees were shaking.

  “You won’t have any problems from Angel here. She’s my horse, and as sweet as can be.”

  “Do you think that was funny?” I snapped at Clay. “I’ve never been near a horse in my life. That wasn’t funny at all. What kind of sick joke was that? Don’t ever do that to me again,” I warned. I didn’t care at this point if I was in trouble. “I could have been killed.”

  The girls in the barn must have heard me yelling. They all came out to see what was going on.

  “That a girl,” Bobby said. I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or his horse.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Soul Glove

  You say today was not so easy

  Pressure tends to get the best of you

  Well don’t let them break your spirit

  Keep the faith and you will come on through

  (Elton John’s, Ice On Fire)

  My petite roommate had her hands on her hips as she glared at me.

  “Check her out,” one of the other girls said. “Why does she get to groom Angel?”

  “Go back to your horses girls,” Bobby said, when he heard the comment.

  Clay took a couple of steps in my direction, but Bobby put up his hand. “It’s my horse. I’ll show her what to do. She picked my horse. It’s a choice.”

  “No sense of humor,” Clay snickered, letting his shoulder clash with Bobby’s as he walked past us. Bobby didn’t react. He seemed satisfied with how things ended.

  “Go ahead. Lead her into the barn and find her stall. It has her name over the door.”

  There’s something empowering about leading an animal that big with a little rope. Or maybe it was putting Clay in his place that made me feel so strong. I was sure there would be consequences later, but for the moment, I felt sane. No it was more like a strangely hopeful feeling. Almost like I was going to be okay.

  I walked Angel into the barn to find a long row of stalls on either side of a cement path, wide enough to drive a truck into. All of the other girls watched as I walked with Bobby’s horse to its stall. It did occur to me that they weren’t happy. Maybe some of the wicked comments had something to do with how I felt. My position at the bottom of the totem pole and the top of the dung heap was secured. That was for sure.

  Once I led Angel into her stall, I had no idea what to do with her. So I stood there, waiting for Bobby to show me. My waiting turned into a strong and longing anticipation. In the next stall I heard a couple of girls talking.

  “She thinks she’s so hot. I can’t believe Bobby and Clay were fighting over her.”

  “I know. She’s a real dog. I heard she was a prostitute.”

  I jumped when the stall door opened. Expecting Bobby, I was smiling.

  “You can lose the stupid grin, he sent me in to show you what to do,” the girl said. “Follow me.”

  “Oh,” I said, trying to hide the disappointment in my voice and face. Why I was disappointed, I couldn’t say. Did I really expect him to waste his time showing me how to brush a horse? I shrugged and reminded myself I had a hunk of a boyfriend at home. All that got me was sadness. I had no idea where I was, or how long I would be staying. Rick couldn’t be as invested as he would need to be, to wait for me to get out.

  “Yeah, oh, I can tell you’re thrilled. Sunny, right? I’m LaKisha.”

  “Hi,” I said, quietly.

  “Yeah, well I’m just as thrilled about you. What are you? Some sort of rebel?”

  “No. I mean I don’t think so. Did you see that horse? He wanted me to…”

  “Whatever. I know all about Clay. You just had to go and make things difficult for all of us, didn’t you. The last thing I need is for you to drag this thing out.”

  She wasn’t making any sense. “Hey, I’m not dragging anything out. I don’t even know why I’m here.”

  “Girl, don’t even try and defend yourself. Excuses are boring. Your ass is here because you’re just like the rest of us. No better, and no worse. Why am I wasting my time?” She turned away from me and lowered her voice. “Lord, this girl is never gonna wake up.”

  I was dumbfounded, so I just watched. LaKisha knew her way around the barn, and around the horses. She didn’t listen when the other girls chided her for getting stuck with me. I was struck by how naturally beautiful she was, and when she caught me looking at her, or rather staring at her for about the fifth time, she snapped at me. “What the hell you looking at?”

  “Nothing,” I answered nervously. It wouldn’t go over real big if I told her that she was beautiful. She would probably kick my ass for hitting on her. I couldn’t help it though. The girl could have been a model if she wanted to. She didn’t belong at the ranch.

  “Are you prejudice or something?” she snapped.

  “Huh? Prejudice? Lord no.”

  “Well then quit looking at me like you never saw a black girl before.”

  “I’m not, I mean… oh never mind. Just show me what I need to know. I didn’t mean anything. Here, give me the brush and I’ll brush her.”

  “Relax,” she said. “You can’t go around staring at girls like that around here,” she whispered. “Do you want to get jumped? It doesn’t bother me, but most won’t like it. Are you gay?” she asked even softer.

  “NO!” I squealed.

  “It’s not a crime. Chill.”

  “No, I’m not gay.”

  “I didn’t think so, the way you’re working our boys,” she smiled.

  “I’m not working anyone.”

  “Okay, whatever.”

  LaKisha filled me in on the rules, and some of the worst girls in the house, while she showed me how to groom the horse. She was careful to whisper when she gave me information that might help me. I didn’t trust it.

  “Why are you helping me?” I whispered. “What do you want?”

  “Nothing, and don’t worry, I’m not gay either.”

  “I wasn’t worried,” I lied.

  She went on to tell me about my roommates. “Unfortunately, you got stuck with two of the worst in this place. The little one is Missy. She’s a real bitch. The fat one is Vicky, she’s just stupid, and will do whatever Missy wants. They’re tight, so don’t trust either one of them.”

  “Can I change rooms?”

  “Not without everyone knowing that you’re afraid.”

  “Is it that bad here?”

  “Girl, are you kidding? Where do you think you are? Summer camp? I don’t know what you did to be here, but every one of us deserves to be here. There aren’t any innocent girls. Don’t let the lack of barbed wire make you feel comfortable. There’s no barbed wire, because if you leave? The beasts, I mean animals out there will eat you.”

  I swallowed hard. This place was nothing like my last confinement. For her to tell me that every girl at the ranch did something bad enough to deserve to be there, well I can only assume that she was talking about herself too. I tried to focus
on the horse while she talked, but we were interrupted when a piece of horse crap flew over the stall and hit me in the head.

  “You can’t let that slide,” she whispered. I didn’t know what to do.

  “It came from over there,” she pointed.

  I picked up the road apple and chucked it back. We both smiled when we heard it hit something. The stall door opened. I expected to see the girl I hit, but instead, it was Clay who stood in front of me, with the road apple in his gloved hand.

  “Follow me,” he said calmly.

  “Shit,” LaKisha whispered. “Girl watch out for him.”

  “Do you have something to say LaKisha,” Clay shouted.

  LaKisha looked down and shook her head to mean that she didn’t.

  “I didn’t think so. I’m watching you.”

  He turned his attention back to me and he was frightening. “Follow me,” he said again, only this time he wasn’t calm.

  I was on my own now. Everyone watched and snickered as Clay led me out of the barn. I followed him to a shed, where he handed me a hand saw. He walked so fast and far, until we got to a grove of pine trees. He took the saw and cut into several bare branches at the bottom of one of the pines. He cut until the bare and dead branches were gone.

  “That’s what I want you to do. Get to work. Someone will come get you when you’re done.” There was nothing gentle about the way he handed the saw back to me. The guy was pissed and I couldn’t blame him. I didn’t think he would care that it was an accident, so I didn’t try and clarify.

  In front of me were more than a hundred pine trees, and from the looks of them, they all needed a trim. When I tackled the first branch the way he showed me, it wasn’t as easy as he made it look, and it was so hard on my back to bend over to reach the branches. By the time I got to the third tree, I had a blister on my hand. The thirst I felt was almost cruel and I was sure it was time to take my pills again. My head was splitting.