Dead, Sweet Boy (Book One - Dead, Sweet Series)

by Susan MacQuoid

  When I couldn’t take it anymore, I sat on the ground under one of the trees and pulled up my knees to hold my face. The tears let loose into sobs. I almost didn’t hear when my phone rang, and I couldn’t get up fast enough I was so excited. The display on my phone let me know it was my mother.

  “Mom?” I cried.

  “Sunny, it’s mom,” she said softly. “I love you Sunny. Please hang on. You can make it through this. I need you to come back…”

  “Oh, mom I love you too. Please come and get me.”

  The phone went dead. “No, no,” I cried. “Mom? Can you hear me?”

  Over and over I tried to turn the phone back on to call her back, but it wouldn’t work. It was hopeless, and I was losing control. I knew I had to get a grip. At least I got to hear her voice and know that she still loved me. All we had built in a short time was still there. The phone went back in my pocket and I used my shirt to dry my face. If that jerk wanted trees cut, he was going to get what he wanted. With my saw in hand, I attacked the tree that he worked on. Cutting through the trunk until it finally toppled over. It felt so good.

  “That’s a little more off the tree than I wanted,” he laughed. Clay walked up to me with the biggest smile on his face. “What do you have to say for yourself Sunny?” He laughed again, handing me a bottle of water and a couple of my pills. I took the pills and finished the water all at once. It did nothing for my thirst.

  “Looks like you had the right idea over there and then something happened.”

  This time when he laughed, he touched my shoulder, shooting his energy through me. I hated him and was drawn to him all at the same time. He smelled so good, and his chest kept inviting me to fall into it.

  “I get the feeling you’re a little angry at me. That’s okay. It’s healthy.”

  I shook my head. This was crazy. Nothing he did made any sense. He was crazy. I was crazy.

  “Cutting down this tree was probably better for you than those pills, or the counseling Miss Day is going to lay on you.”

  “Whatever.”

  “I’ve got this feeling about you Sunny. For some reason I don’t think you belong here.”

  “Huh? Really?”

  “I’ve read your record, but it doesn’t add up.”

  “What does it say about me?” Did he really mean it, or was this a game.

  “I can’t tell you. It would be breaking the rules.”

  “Well I don’t belong here.”

  “The problem is all the girls tell me the same thing. But there’s something different about you. I can’t quite put my finger on it. I have this sort of feeling for you.”

  Clay dug the heal of his black cowboy boot into the dirt while he spoke, and when he finished, his index finger pushed the front of his hat up slightly, as if he wanted to take a better look at me.

  “Yeah, different,” I sighed. It was horrible standing in front of him as the fashion statement I had become. The sweat and humidity, tightened the wet curls all over my head, and I was covered in sticky sap from the trees. My hands were wrecked because of him, well I guess because I threw horse poop at him, and now he was taking a closer look. “Do I have to keep sawing?”

  His fingers went into his mouth, and he whistled a short and loud command for his dog to come running. It was exactly like the phantom dog I’d been seeing, except it was black and white. It was so fast and eager to obey, but I was frightened. Expecting the thing to growl at me.

  “This is Cash, don’t worry, he’s…”

  “Gentle? Where have I heard that before? No, I’ve seen your gentle horse.”

  “That was just a test. I wanted to see if Deus would pick a pretty girl over me,” he laughed.

  He called me pretty. Was he crazy? “Apparently he’s still faithful,” I said sarcastically.

  Clay got down on one knee to give his dog some affection. It was really sweet, and I guess unexpected. “So what do you say we go for a little walk and take a break from the trees,” he offered.

  “Anything but the trees.” I tossed the handsaw under one of the pine trees and followed Clay and Cash along a waterway of a cornfield. “So what kind of dog is that?” I asked, curious about the phantom who wanted to kill me.

  “An Australian Sheppard. They’re great livestock dogs. Cash here can load hogs, separate livestock, and bring anything in from the pasture.”

  “I could have used him on your black horse today.”

  “Yeah, I’m sorry about that. I thought Bobby was going to blow a gasket. I was having a little fun with you.”

  “Fun. I’m not sure you understand the concept. That wasn’t fun.”

  Clay picked up a stick and threw it into the hip high corn. Cash took off running. “Let’s just say I like to know what a person’s made of. You handled it.”

  “So it was a little test? Like I need a test right now. Look at me.” I put my arms out from my side as an expression, but when I got a whiff of myself, I slapped my arms back down to my sides. Had I asked him to look at me? Really?

  He stopped and did just that. Thank goodness for the sunglasses. I was sure I didn’t really need them for his colors, but I did need something to hide behind. I thought too soon. His hands reached over and took the glasses from my face, exposing me completely for the insecure girl I felt like. He folded up the glasses and handed them to me. “Much better. You’re a pretty young woman.”

  “I smell good too,” I said, picking up the pace out ahead of him. The guy was way out of my league and comfort level. I didn’t want him looking at me. It wasn’t fair. He probably had everything he needed to feel comfortable with himself, I mean besides a great body and beautiful face. In his living space I’m sure he had his favorite soaps and shampoos, along with the fine cologne I got a whiff of when he turned or a breeze came. My shower the night before consisted of a generic bar of soap and the same brand of shampoo. No conditioner and no creams for my skin. No makeup and no perfume. Not fair. Maybe on my best day, I might feel comfortable talking to him or Bobby, but not as frumpy prisoner girl.

  “Hey this is a relaxing walk. Remember? Slow down,” he said as he caught up and pulled on my elbow.

  “I’m not relaxed. I’m not comfortable. How the hell am I supposed to relax? I don’t know where I am, or how long I have to stay here. Last night a couple of cops signed off on me and now I belong here. I was in an accident and I don’t feel…”

  “Shhh, okay. I get it. That’s why I brought you out here. I wanted to get your story. What happened? Tell me.”

  “I crashed a car trying to get away from something. I was afraid. So I don’t have a license and that’s a parole violation. Nobody asked me what happened. I’m sure they didn’t listen to my friends either.”

  “What were you afraid of?”

  For a second, I thought about telling him about the grave yard, but then I thought about the phantom dog. He would think I was crazy. I closed my mouth.

  “Okay. The paperwork says you were drunk and you were alone in the car.”

  “I wasn’t drunk. Someone spilled beer all over me. And I crashed in a field. It was my friend’s car, and I couldn’t stop it because the breaks don’t work that great, so I drove into a ravine.”

  “The story we got was different. I’m not accusing you of lying Sunny, but maybe you pushed the memory out of your head.”

  “What did they say happened?” I shrieked. The anger I felt made me want to scream. “It happened just like I told you. What’s in the paperwork?”

  Clay shook his head. “I’ve already told you more than I should have.”

  I couldn’t tell if the frown on his face was mocking me or if he really felt badly. It was a little piece to the puzzle either way. I knew for sure that something wasn’t right, but why? Who would set me up and change the story. It was clear that I wouldn’t have a clue unless I found out what was in my paperwork.

  “We better head back,” he said. “We don’t want them out looking for us, do we?”

 
“Is it against the rules to take a girl off by herself?” I asked, giving him my best coy girl act. It was probably hopeless to think he would fall for anything about me, but he was looking like a good guy to have in my corner.

  “I’ll let you know if we’re close to breaking any rules. The thing about rules Sunny is you always have a choice.” His fingers reached up to my face, to reattach the bandage that didn’t want to stick because of the dirt and sweat. “Your problem is living with the bad choices you’ve made.” His voice turned soft and gentle, and I swear my head started to buzz. I wanted him to talk some more, just so I could feel the effect. Too much of him, might be good.

  “Sometimes it’s hard to get over what you find out your capable of,” I said.

  “Maybe you should own what you’re capable of.”

  “What does that mean?” I asked. And I was completely surprised that he would tell me to own the evil I had done.

  “Some things aren’t our fault. Sometimes we are victims of terrible circumstances. You had a great loss, and you acted out. It’s over.”

  He knew about the fire of course and about Mack, it would certainly be written out on that file they had about me. But I didn’t care that he knew, because he was the only person who understood that it wasn’t like me to do what I did. He was the first to blame the circumstances like I wanted to. I could only hope that I could apply his thinking to my secrets too.

  “Come on Sunny. Let’s get back,” he looked at his watch. “We have to get you cleaned up for supper.” One more touch. His hand brushed my cheek, as his eyes reached into my soul. When he winked, my heart jumped.

  “But wait,” I complained, wanting to hear more about his thoughts on my circumstances. “I did something awful.”

  He laughed a little, not at me, but with a sort of pleasure. “Did your friend do something bad?” he asked. “Was it wrong for him to take his own life?”

  “Of course it was,” I sighed. “Of course. He lied to me and didn’t let me know what he was really going through. Maybe we could have helped him.”

  “His suffering is over Sunny. It’s gone. This world is so selfish to judge people like your friend.”

  I shook my head to try and clear my thoughts. Was he saying that what Mack had done was alright? It was confusing to hear him say that. Mack’s death was a tragedy. “Are you saying it was a blessing?” I asked.

  “Not exactly a blessing. Sometimes the world can’t understand what’s appropriate, because they are frightened by courage. The world is sometimes too civilized to understand instincts. I’m not condoning burning down houses or hanging one’s self, but I understand. Unfortunately, the law can’t be fair. We are all different. I’m sure the judge who sentenced you might have felt differently if he were in your shoes.

  “Off the record, I admire what you did.”

  He had to be joking. But I knew that he wasn’t.

  “Shocking,” he said with a smile. “I shouldn’t think like that, right?”

  “I don’t know,” I said softly. “I was wrong to burn down the house.”

  “Okay,” he said, shrugging his shoulder. “I’m not your judge. All I’m saying is you ought to lay off yourself a little.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  We All Fall in Love Sometimes

  The full moon’s bright

  And starlight filled the evening

  We wrote it and I played it

  Something happened it’s so strange this feeling

  Naïve notions that were childish

  Simple tunes that tried to hide it

  But when it comes

  We all fall in love sometimes

  We washed up outside. If we weren’t in a hurry to get in for dinner, a few playful splashes in the water might have turned into a full blown water fight.

  The dining room went silent when he and I walked through the kitchen laughing and smiling. It was clear from the vibrant colors coming from the girls, that I was the enemy now. I put Rick’s sunglass back on, feeling only a small vibration of guilt this time, and took the only seat available. Near Clay.

  It wasn’t like I could help it that the only seat available was near him. And it wasn’t my fault that we seemed to connect out in the field when we talked. Was I supposed to ignore him during dinner? Maybe I shouldn’t have laughed so freely at the stories he told, but it felt so good to think about something other than my problems. It felt great to have someone to connect with in that hell hole who seemed to care. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him. What girl wouldn’t be? It didn’t mean anything. Not like he was in to me.

  A couple of times other girls tried to get into our conversation. It wasn’t that he completely ignored them; let’s just say that his focus was on me. My discomfort with the raging colors around me was nothing compared to my fascination with him. Maybe it did mean something.

  Miss Day interrupted Clay’s story about a colt he had when he was a kid. It was hard to pull myself away and concentrate, but eventually her business like tone got my attention. She was babbling about something to do with service to the community, and then I realized she was talking about working. When she saw the question on my face, she took a minute to explain.

  “We go out and work in our community to give back. According to your record Sunny, you have some experience in the kitchen. So tomorrow, you will work at the banquet center. They’re having a wedding. You won’t be paid. The banquet center donates money to the ranch, so we help them out whenever they need it. Service. It’s very important that you girls understand service. You’ll find yourself through service, and that’s important. You can’t make the right choices unless you can love and forgive yourself.”

  I sensed a theme. They all seemed to talk about choices. But then so did the nurse at the hospital. Miss Day went on to explain that some of the girls would clean up the roadsides and some would pack boxes to send stuff to our soldiers overseas. It was a way for us to give back and make up for the things we’d done.

  Clay seemed completely bored with her little speech, and when I checked to see what Bobby thought, he was looking from Clay to me in an accusatory way. The blush rushed to my cheeks, making me look down. Suddenly I felt a little ridiculous for the way I had been flirting with Clay at the table. It was so not like me. I wasn’t a flirt.

  When dinner was over, it was my turn to help wash dishes. Before I could get to my station, Bobby announced that he needed someone to help take care of a sick little pig. Every girl in the place wanted to volunteer, and I was sure it had nothing to do with getting out of evening chores.

  “I think it would be a good idea if Sunny had a chance to work with the hogs. She’s new and hasn’t been exposed yet.”

  If the colors were flaring before, they were on fire now. Didn’t he know what a target I had become? “Uh me? No, I have to get the dishes done,” I tried to calm the colors.

  “Go ahead Sunny. There’s nothing like pig crap on a full belly,” one of the girls said. Everyone else laughed.

  What was it with the ranch? For most of my six month stay in my last brush with crime, I had managed to slide under the radar. Somehow I had become the center of attention, and I knew I was going to pay dearly.

  “No, really. I think I should help with the…”

  “Go with Bobby Sunny,” Miss Day ordered.

  Clay got up from the coffee someone had served him, and walked out the back door a little too quickly. The screen door slammed, causing some of the girls to take notice and nudge each other with their elbows.

  I had to walk through them to do what I was told, and it wasn’t comfortable at all. To top it off, when I got out on the back porch, the phantom dog was waiting for me. She blocked my way down the steps. I say she, because I knew who the dog was now. Whether or not she was a real ghost or a product of my damaged imagination, she was the dog I had killed, and had every reason to hate me.

  “It’s okay Lucy,” I whispered. Her head turned a little, confirming the name was r
ight. I had heard the name only once, in court. It came back to me that night.

  “Sunny, let’s go,” Bobby called from his truck.

  One step in her direction let me know she wanted to attack.

  “Sunny!” Bobby called again.

  I thought about going back into the house and finding another way out, but how do you avoid something like Lucy? “Please girl, don’t be angry. I’m sorry for what happened. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She was listening. Her head tilted from side to side when I spoke.

  Bobby got frustrated and headed back to the porch where I stood frozen, to see what the holdup was. How does one explain the phantom Lucy?

  “Is something wrong Sunny?”

  A deep breath helped me to come up with something. “No, I mean yes. I’ve never been around pigs before. I’m afraid.”

  “This is a very little pig. It won’t hurt you. Come on now. Do you think I would let anything happen to you?” Bobby reached his hand out for mine.

  “I don’t know,” I said, reaching my hand past the killer dog, hoping she couldn’t take it off for real. The dog growled, but sat back a little. Then I figured if it did attack me, I would have a witness that she was real. I didn’t realize how little sense that made. How could Bobby witness something he couldn’t see?

  Luckily the dog didn’t attack when I reached Bobby’s hand. It let me pass. Sparing me what would have been an insane scene. Me, wrestling for my life on the ground with an invisible dog, would have been a scenario worth the padded room.

  “Did I mention that we don’t have any animals at my house?” I asked nervously, trying to break my nerves.

  “Animals aren’t people. The only ones that really want to hurt us are the ones that see us as food.” He opened the passenger door of his truck, and took my shoulders to say, “People get hurt when they make mistakes with animals.”

  “Yeah, mistake with animals are bad,” I said, looking at Lucy who was following us. “What if you accidently hurt an animal and it hates you.”