Unstoppable

by Bankes, Liz

  Cal gives a rendition of ‘Everybody Wants to be a Cat’.

  Nish and Effie look quite confused throughout, but are too polite to say anything. And Max stands at the back, still looking quite shaken.

  When we come back Jamie and Cleo are sitting on the edge of the swimming pool, dangling their feet in the water.

  Mia and I walk up behind them just as Cleo is expressing her surprise that Jamie has been managing to hold down a job.

  ‘But I suppose it’s got to be done if you’re emigrating,’ she says.

  ‘Ah, that,’ says Jamie.

  Mia stops dead. She stays standing there as Jamie leans towards Cleo to whisper something, just as Cleo’s eyes flick over to us.

  ‘You’ve buried the cat?’ she says and Jamie spins round in surprise. He and Mia look at each other and the tension cuts through the air.

  They are interrupted by Gabi’s voice calling us all over.

  ‘So, The Plan. Drinks and food in the courtyard, then we retire to the poolhouse to play party games. Then tomorrow a barbecue on the roof.’

  ‘Wow, thanks Gabi,’ I say.

  ‘I wasn’t told about the party games,’ says Jamie. ‘Just so everyone knows.’

  Nish is also looking sceptical. ‘Shouldn’t we be playing poker or something? Now that we’re all adults.’

  ‘Exactly!’ says Gabi. ‘We are all adults. And we’re all about to go off and do adulty things, like going to uni or getting jobs or abandoning our best friends to live in Australia. So we should play games now, before we’re too busy giving birth or shopping for curtains.’

  ‘What are the games?’

  ‘Truth or dare, karaoke and pin the willy on the man,’ says Gabi.

  Chapter 42

  ‘I’m going to need a stiff gin before I pin the willy on the man,’ says Nish.

  I’m about to speak, but Mia cuts in.

  ‘Don’t worry, Gabi made an alternative version just for you,’ she says. ‘Pin the fanny on the woman.’

  Nish looks horrified. ‘No!’

  ‘’Fraid so – Effie is playing it now.’

  From the other side of the room we hear Effie’s loud laugh. She has a blindfold on and Gabi is spinning her round. Two life-size cartoon pictures of a man and a woman, drawn on large sheets of paper, are stuck to the wall.

  ‘Who drew them?’ I say and Mia raises her hand.

  ‘Gabi cornered me in my room last week with paper and a Sharpie. The only bit where I was really worried was when she told me I was going to be drawing round Max. But it turned out that was just the outline of the body.’

  We all burst out laughing and then I notice that Nish is still watching Effie.

  ‘Is everything okay with you two?’

  ‘Fine! Fine. Yeah, fine.’ Nish shrugs.

  ‘So you’re still pretending that you’re not worried about her going to Paris?’ says Mia, her eyebrow raised.

  ‘Yep,’ says Nish with a tight smile. ‘There’s no point. If she’s going to leave me, she’s going to leave, whether or not I go mental about it.’

  Well, I suppose going mental didn’t get me anywhere.

  Over at the karaoke Max and Cal are duetting, with Max as Jay-Z and Cal as Beyoncé. I watch Cal and think about the meal, when the housemates gave me their gift. I’d completely forgotten about it, but then there hadn’t been a day when we were all in the house together this week except for the cat day.

  They gave me a signed Quentin Blake print. A scene from Matilda, which was my favourite book as a child. And they could only have known that from Cal. It’s sitting at the side of the pool house in a plastic bag and I get a rush of warmth whenever I look at it. The only pang of disappointment I got was that in the card Cal just signed his name. He usually draws a funny cartoon.

  ‘Hey,’ says Cal.

  He’s appeared behind me as I was looking at the card.

  ‘Hey,’ I say, trying not to show that everything in me surges when I see him.

  ‘I wanted to say something – and it’s a bit easier to say after a beer.’

  I don’t let myself get excited this time.

  ‘Sure – what?’

  ‘The stuff you found on my computer – it’s just silly. The kind of stuff the guys send round to each other. I mean, I can’t pretend I didn’t – you know – enjoy it, but it didn’t have anything to do with the way I thought about you.’

  He looks around while he’s talking and ruffles his hair. Then we look at each other and laugh.

  ‘Argh,’ he says. ‘Why is this awkward? This is you. I’m not awkward around you. I guess I just want you to know it wasn’t because I was missing anything. You were more than enough for me.’

  I smile at him then.

  ‘So you don’t wish I was a spanking lesbian?’

  He does a face like he’s considering it and I hit him on the arm.

  ‘No,’ he says. ‘You’re perfect as you.’

  We look at each other and it’s too much. I look down. Then I think of something I can say.

  ‘I’ve decided to drop out from my course.’

  His eyebrows rise in surprise. ‘Hey, just because the other cool kids are doing it . . .’

  ‘I’m going to do primary school teaching,’ I say. ‘Next September. And this year I’ll be a classroom assistant.’

  ‘Where will you do that?’

  I stop. It was going to be Oxford when I planned it.

  ‘I don’t know yet – home, probably.’

  ‘That’s awesome,’ says Cal. ‘You’ll be great. You got my cousins reading books rather than destroying the house. My aunt would probably employ you herself.’

  ‘Thanks, Cal. I’m really looking forward to it, actually. I mean not that there’s anything wrong with business – I’m sure Nish is going to be a terrifyingly successful businesswoman. I just don’t think it’s for me.’

  ‘It’s really cool.’ His smile spreads over his face. He looks genuinely happy for me.

  ‘How are things with you?’ I say.

  ‘Ah well, I got a new job!’

  He tells me he’s going to be a crewmember at the Boathouse and take people on boating tours. Apparently he got talking to them when he was down there and they think he’d be just right for it.

  ‘Something where you talk to people all day – I think you’ve found your perfect job.’ I smile at him.

  ‘Ha – yeah!’ He nods. ‘And I’ve found a local rugby club to try out for, so I can keep that up while I work out the next step.’

  ‘It’s not easy, is it?’ I say.

  ‘No!’ he agrees. It feels like we are standing a bit closer with every sentence. ‘It seems much easier to work out what’s wrong for you, than what’s right,’ he carries on.

  ‘But in a way it’s quite exciting,’ I say. ‘You could do anything!’

  He looks at me in surprise. ‘You think I could do anything?’

  I hold his gaze. ‘Of course I do.’

  ‘Truth or dare!’ calls Gabi. ‘Everyone round the coffee table.’

  Cal and I wander over to the table where the others are slowly gathering. Everyone looks a bit apprehensive. Effie comes over and joins Nish and Mia on the sofa. She puts her arm round Nish’s neck and gives Nish a big kiss on the cheek and Nish pushes her away with a frown because she doesn’t like public displays of affection. But then I see she puts her hand over Effie’s.

  Jamie is sitting on a bar stool next to the kitchen counter and refusing to join in. But he’s the only one. Even Cleo comes over and sits down after Dan persuades her. Cal is a few people along from me. Out of the corner of my eye I can see his hand with his Leeds Festival wristband. This whole year I’ve been telling him it’s really grim he’s still got it on, but now even that is one of the details about him that makes my heart ache.

  Gabi has a proper spinner in the middle and cards prepared in two piles. The first person it lands on is Arlo. He picks ‘dare’ in what must be a rare fit of confidence and then he immedi
ately regrets it because his dare is to jump in the pool.

  ‘But I’ve got nice trousers on!’

  Poor Arlo is given a helping hand by Cal and Simon and soon he is back in the circle, soaked and shivering. Then Dan chooses ‘dare’ and has to eat a teabag. Mia shouts out that he’s already done that because they used to do eating challenges when they worked at Radleigh together. Jamie puts his glass down on the counter loudly and Mia’s eyes flick over to him, but she doesn’t respond. I’m beginning to think I jinxed them when I was thinking how amazing they were earlier. Simon asks for truth and is asked to name his secret crush. He looks over at Nish and Effie and says he’s always thought he would be able to convert lesbians. Nish gives him a stony glare and Effie bursts out laughing.

  Then Max also picks truth and his card says, Tell someone what you really think of them.

  Max looks at Gabi.

  His usually thoughtful face looks even more serious and his eyebrows are raised. He swallows.

  Then Max looks over at Cal. ‘You should change your shorts more often.’

  There’s a ripple of laughter and Gabi quickly leans over to spin again, not meeting Max’s eye.

  It lands on me. There are noises of surprise when I pick ‘dare’. But I’m not really up for revealing secrets.

  I see Gabi fiddling with the cards and then she hands me one face down.

  ‘Don’t I get to pick?’ I say.

  Gabi shakes her head.

  I turn the card over. It says, Kiss Cal. I give Gabi a look and then everyone else starts asking what’s on the card. Nish grabs it off me and reads it out.

  When I look up I see Cal is already looking at me. He half smiles at me.

  ‘Well, you’ve go to do what the card says.’

  I lean behind the others sitting on the sofa and so does he.

  I sit back down and nearly fall over. I’m dizzy and my heart is pounding in my chest. It feels like my whole body is tingling.

  I’m barely concentrating on the game and suddenly realise that everyone is calling to Jamie.

  ‘Not playing,’ he says. ‘Leave me alone!’

  ‘It’s pointing right at you!’ says Mia.

  ‘Thanks for the loyalty, dear,’ says Jamie drily.

  ‘Truth or dare?’ says Gabi.

  ‘Truth. Dare. Whatever – I don’t care,’ he says.

  ‘Truth!’ says Gabi and picks up the cards.

  ‘Have you saved the money for Australia?’ says Mia.

  Jamie looks at her. No one speaks.

  ‘Do you really want to do this here?’ he says.

  ‘Have you?’ says Mia.

  Jamie’s eyebrows knit into a frown and he breathes in. Then he looks at Mia again. His usual confidence is gone and he looks scared.

  ‘No.’

  Mia stands up and walks out of the open French windows. Jamie goes after her.

  ‘That’s what happens when you don’t play by the rules,’ mutters Gabi, shuffling the cards.

  We all look around the circle and seem to make an unspoken group decision that the game is over.

  Cal is the one to break the silence.

  ‘I think Rosie wants to go swimming again.’

  I look up. ‘What?’

  Cal leaps over from his side of the sofa and scoops me up. I wriggle and protest as he carries me out of the doors and everyone else follows. I scream as he throws me in. It’s a heated pool, but being submerged in tepid water is still a bit of a shock. There’s a huge splash as Gabi pushes Cal in and then another one as she pushes Max. Soon everyone is either pushed or jumps in voluntarily and a massive water fight begins.

  I swim towards Cal and splash him and in response he picks me up again and throws me into the air. I’m getting a weird sense of déjà vu as I go for him again. Maybe we are gradually getting back into sync.

  Chapter 43

  ‘It was a stubbly person!’

  Cleo rolls over and peers drowsily at me. ‘What?’

  ‘It was a stubbly person with hairy arms!’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘The person who carried me the night I fainted. I didn’t remember before, but Cal picking me up by the swimming pool brought it all back!’

  Cleo sits up in bed. We’re in the master bedroom, which had been reserved for me and Cal, but after all the room shuffling Cal is sharing a room with Dan.

  The four-poster bed is so big that they could probably fit in here as well. Although obviously that would be a bit odd.

  ‘Okay, yes,’ says Cleo. ‘Cal carried you. But he said not to tell you if you didn’t remember.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘He said he’s not the guy for you. But he wants you to be happy. That’s why he was staying away. When he did try to get you back and it was such a disaster, he realised he’d had it right the first time.’

  I swallow and my heart thumps weirdly in my chest.

  ‘And did he see me kissing that guy in the window?’

  Cleo bites her lip and nods. ‘Yeah.’

  I roll over and face away from her. I don’t say anything else. I think she thinks I’m asleep. But I’m awake for the rest of the night.

  About an hour after we talked, I hear her leave the room.

  Chapter 44

  ‘Whoa, it all lurches when you lean over the edge, doesn’t it?’ says Effie as we stand by the wall at the front of the castle roof. The grounds and the hills in the distance are bathed in sunshine.

  ‘Don’t lean over then,’ snaps Nish.

  ‘Chillax,’ says Effie. ‘I thought you were getting me a burger.’

  Nish rolls her eyes and walks off towards the barbecue.

  ‘Thanks, lover!’ laughs Effie.

  ‘She’s being like that because she’s worried,’ I say.

  ‘I know, silly woman,’ says Effie. ‘I have a plan, though. I’ve hidden a ticket to Paris in her bag, for the first weekend I’m there. She hasn’t found it yet. I thought it might help show her that she’ll be a part of my life there too – from the beginning. What do you reckon?’

  I smile. ‘She’ll love it. Well, she’ll pretend not to, but she will.’

  We are quiet for a while, just enjoying the feeling of the sun on our arms and listening to the sound of people chatting and the sizzling of the barbecue. There’s the occasional shriek from Gabi as she runs around organising things. She’s in a bright pink dress, so impossible to miss in every way.

  The only person who is missing is Jamie. Mia says she hasn’t seen him all day.

  And Cleo didn’t appear until about midday. I haven’t had the chance to ask her where she went.

  ‘What about you and your man?’ says Effie. ‘Things on the mend there?’

  I look at Cal. He’s laughing loudly at something Dan has said. On his plate is the most obscenely big burger I’ve ever seen.

  ‘I don’t know.’

  After a few hours we decide to go inside for a bit to get out of the sun. There’s this lounge-type room upstairs called the Window Room – because, unsurprisingly, it has a lot of windows – so we gather in there. Cal sits behind me and gradually I move back so I’m leaning against his arm.

  Mia has hardly said anything all day. Then suddenly she slams down her glass of Coke.

  ‘I can’t believe he’s ruined my trip. We were supposed to see in the New Year in Australia. Christmas was going to be a barbecue on the beach.’

  The other conversations around the room trail off and everyone’s attention turns to Mia. Her eyes are blazing.

  ‘You know what? I’m going to go anyway.’

  She stands up determinedly and starts walking across the room. There’s a flash of bright pink and before we know it Gabi is up and has rugby tackled Mia to the ground.

  ‘You’re not going.’

  Mia tries to climb to her feet, with Gabi still clinging to her. ‘I didn’t mean I was going right now! I’m going to get my phone and bring the flights forward.’

  She breaks free
and runs into the corridor, but Gabi is close behind. She grabs Mia round the middle and lifts her up, while Mia’s legs kick around in the air.

  ‘Get OFF me!’ she cries.

  ‘NO!’ says Gabi firmly and the struggle continues.

  We’ve all gathered at the door. No one is quite sure what to do.

  ‘She’s pretty strong!’ says Cal.

  ‘Oh she is.’ Max nods wisely.

  The struggle continues down the corridor, until they reach a door, which I think is a bathroom for staff to use. Gabi has her arms round Mia’s waist. She lifts her up off the ground again and practically throws her through the toilet door.

  She grabs the doorknob and slams the door shut. Mia’s cries of protest from the other side are muffled.

  ‘Now,’ says Gabi, keeping a firm grip on the door handle, ‘I’ve done this so that I can say something and you’ll listen. You can’t just run off without finding out why Jamie’s done this. All you think about is the next place you’re going. And all you talk about is how crap it is round here and how you want to get out. Maybe Jamie just wants to hang out with you and do something normal, like watch TV or go shopping or get your nails done, instead of planning the next trip.’

  Gabi’s voice chokes a bit at the end. She frowns and grips the doorknob harder. Mia says something and Gabi puts her ear to the door to listen.

  ‘Yes maybe it’s not Jamie who wants to get his nails done with you,’ Gabi replies.

  Mia says something else.

  ‘I know you do. It’s just you’re always going off. So sometimes it doesn’t feel like it,’ says Gabi, more quietly, and then she puts her ear to the door again.

  ‘Yeah it probably is a better idea to talk in the same room.’

  She lets go to allow Mia to come out. The doorknob turns but the door doesn’t open. It turns again and then back the other way and still nothing happens. Gabi tries opening it and the same thing happens.

  ‘I think it’s jammed!’ she says. We all look around to see who would be the best person to break down a door. That’s when I notice that Cleo has gone.