Do or Die

by Rita Harling

  It was meningitis. Before bringing Robyn for a lumber puncture, the doctor showed me the rash that I couldn’t find earlier. It was hidden between her toes. While she was been treated in hospital all of my family visited her, and Brian’s family came to see her too. Brian visited her on one occasion, and Robyn recalls their conversation clearly. He told her that he was glad that she was in hospital and not at home. He said that he was happy now that we could be a real family, as she was gone and it was him, his girlfriend and their baby son at the cottage. I cannot imagine what she must have felt.

  She hid a lot of things from me then, and it’s too late for me to take them back now I wish I knew what she was going through at the time.

  Young Joey spoke to Robyn about his feelings for Brian. Initially, he had trusted Brian and had thought of him as a father figure. When Joey moved into the house he hadn’t seen Brian’s violent side. When he eventually saw what Brian was capable of, it was too late for him to leave, because he was under Brian’s control.

  I learned that Joey wasn’t doing too well on the witness protection programme. He was away from his family and friends, living abroad under a new identity. He felt very isolated and also had to leave his young daughter behind. It must have been a horrific time for him. I am sure that Joey is still haunted by his time at the cottage. All that I can say to him is: put it behind you and don’t give it any more energy. Brian has taken enough of your strength. Joey has a lot to offer. He has a great sense of humour and a good heart. He is a trusting and loyal young man that gave up everything for justice.

  Brian is serving time behind bars like a caged animal, and I can imagine how trapped he must be feeling. He loved his freedom. He was going to have to serve time with some of the inmates that he himself had probably helped to convict as a registered informant. Brian would soon feel the wrath of their vengeance. I believe that he has been attacked by other inmates.

  During the trial, I left my job at Servisair. I could not stand the pressure from it all. I felt that I was losing my grip, and, again, I found myself hiding away. I must have been out of work for about five months or so before I eventually felt better. By then I had secured a permanent position with a company that handled business for a national airline. The Jonathan O’Reilly case had calmed down and I thought I was free of Brian.

  I needed to get back to work to provide for my kids. Nearly a year had passed and I was enjoying my new job. I was doing really well, working hard and getting on with my new colleagues.

  Then, out of the blue, I received a phone call from the gardaí. They wanted to question me. I had no idea what for, as Brian was locked up. I thought, this is never ending.

  When I got to the garda station, I was questioned about Brian and his garda friend. I couldn’t tell them anything, because Brian had always kept their dealings under wraps. He never discussed their plans with me. He was very clever about that. All that I could tell them about was the events that I had actually witnessed. As far as I was aware, Brian usually met him in car parks or at venues around West Dublin.

  The gardaí told me that there had been an investigation launched into a certain garda’s alleged misconduct, and that the inquiry would hopefully clear his name. I spent three days with them, on and off, as they tried to piece together certain events that Brian had been involved in. I was so sick of all of this. When was it ever going to stop? I left the station feeling like I had been given my own life sentence because of my involvement with Kenny. Over those three days, I had to lie to yet another employer. I couldn’t keep doing this. The past was holding onto me and I had to break free.

  I kept on working and I heard no more from the gardaí. But the panic attacks had returned, and I was feeling very down. I immediately assumed that every phone call or every knock at the front door would be related to Brian Kenny.

  Chapter Ten

  PUTTING THE PAST TO RIGHTS

  When things had settled down somewhat, I decided to pursue my rights and stake my claim to the property in Kilshane. I still felt bitter and I was not happy to let Amanda Joyce have it so easily. I knew that Brian could no longer interfere or threaten me. I contacted Gerry Dohert, a solicitor in Finglas Village, who told me that he could pursue my claim. I often drove past the house in Kilshane. I was saddened to see that the cottage looked rundown. I know that I should have probably let it go, but that’s easier said than done. The cottage was Conor’s birthplace, so it was still dear to me in a strange sort of way.

  One day a friend of mine told me to drive past the cottage as she thought something wasn’t right. A family had been renting it for the previous few months. When I arrived at the cottage the windows seemed to be blacked out and one of them had wood covering it where the glass was missing. There were heavy chains on the gates at the front of the property. There was some garda forensic tape that was discoloured and seemed to have been there for some time. I parked the car and went to investigate.

  I spoke to a neighbour and learned that the cottage had in fact gone up in flames. She pointed to a part of the roof that was missing. I was gobsmacked. She told me that the inside was gutted and that the cottage was now just a shell. I never found out what caused the fire. I don’t know if it was started maliciously or by accident.

  The property remains derelict to this day. When Brian was arrested, Amanda Joyce stayed on at the cottage, but only for a short time. I imagine she feared retaliation after Jonathan O’Reilly’s murder. The house was then rented out so that the mortgage repayments could be met. I learned that Brian’s mam had power of attorney and that she was looking after his interests.

  On 11 March 2010 I attended Courtroom 28 in the Four Courts for the first hearing in relation to the property. Robyn accompanied me that day. I hadn’t seen or spoken to the Kenny family for years and I was no longer afraid of them. They could try to intimidate us all they wanted. Robyn and I were stronger now.

  When we arrived at Courtroom 28 I could see Billy and Ann seated on one of the benches. Brian’s grandmother was also present in a wheelchair. None of them looked our way, but Billy had obviously made Ann and the grandmother aware of our presence, as they remained seated with their backs to us. Robyn and I sniggered to one another.

  My solicitor, Gerry Doherty arrived and introduced me to my barrister, Bernadette Kirby I was delighted that my barrister was a woman. I believed that she would fight tooth and nail for us. I caught a glimpse of Amanda Joyce through the crowds in the hall. Amanda had been called to the hearing as she was still married to Brian and obviously also had and interest in the cottage. I remember wondering how many more of the Kennys would arrive.

  When Gerry Doherty and my barrister went into the courtroom to register the case, Robyn and I took our seats on the benches outside and waited to be called. Gerry returned and told us that they were waiting for Brian to arrive from Mountjoy Prison. On hearing this, Robyn and I laughed. I think we laughed because we couldn’t believe it. I felt that the Kenny family was really trying their best to stop me getting my share of the property.

  We were beginning to find the whole situation entertaining. Then I noticed Robyn’s facial expression change to shock as she gestured for me to turn around and look behind me. Brian stood there in handcuffs, accompanied by two prison wardens. I looked him up and down and felt repulsed by him, so much so that I wanted to be sick.

  Brian had aged and his skin had taken on a grey pallor. He looked terrified and paranoid. He looked at Robyn in disbelief, as she was now a young woman and not the vulnerable child that he remembered. The years had changed both of them in very different ways.

  Eventually, we were called into court. The Kennys sat on the left-hand side and Robyn and I sat on the right side of the courtroom. Brian sat at the back of the court, still cuffed and flanked by the two officers.

  The judge that day was also a woman. The hearing began and the judge heard from both sides. She tried to unravel the details, as things became more complicated when Amanda Joyce declared that she also h
ad an interest in the property. When Brian’s counsel introduced Amanda as Brian’s wife, the judge asked her where her representation was. Amanda told the judge that she had none, as she had only been told about the hearing a couple of days before. It was now apparent that whatever the intention of bringing Amanda Joyce into the hearing had been, it was not going to plan — Amanda had her own ideas. At that point Ann Kenny wheeled her mother out of the courtroom, and it seemed to me that she was not too happy that Amanda was also looking for part of the property.

  During the proceedings, a group of young schoolboys was brought into court and sat at the back of the room. I could hear them whisper and giggle amongst themselves. Amanda Joyce was standing in the middle of the courtroom, to Brian’s left. When the judge asked her what the relationship between the two of them was now, Amanda answered:

  We don’t live together now’

  ‘Obviously you don’t live together now You wouldn’t be living where he is, would you?’ said the judge.

  The whole courtroom broke into laughter.

  The judge that morning wasn’t falling for anything Brian had instructed his barrister say. She was a tough lady. The hearing was eventually adjourned. Robyn told me that Brian couldn’t take his eyes off us as he was led away.

  When we left the courtroom Brian and the Kenny family seemed to have vanished. My barrister spoke to me outside. She was concerned because there was no paper trail to prove that I had lived at the cottage. Everything was in Brian’s name, even down to the household bills. Brian had also lied and told them that I didn’t move into the house when he had purchased it, but that I went to live there a year later. He was still trying his best to get one over on me. Even in his prison cell he was trying to wreck my head.

  On 18 January 2011 my solicitor informed me that Brian’s barrister had put proposals to settle the case. It was agreed that I would receive a percentage. However, my barrister worried that this would be a fraction of what I was entitled to. We went to the Law Library at 1.00 p.m. to hear the outcome. Again, Robyn came with me, and we joked on our way into town, wondering if it would turn into another circus performance.

  When we got to the Law Library, Gerry and Bernadette were there to greet us. I noticed that this time Amanda Joyce had legal representation. The Kennys were nowhere to be seen. Brian’s barrister was present to represent him, but his mam and dad were not. Robyn and I waited in a quiet hallway while the barristers went back and forth, trying to reach a settlement. As it turned out, nothing was settled that day.

  My barrister told me that Ann Kenny had also engaged a solicitor to represent her, as she was now making a claim on the property herself. She was claiming that she had also put money into the cottage. Robyn and I were not surprised; we had expected their delay tactics. o me it seemed that she was trying to secure a larger portion for her son. I found it hard to understand this and I also felt that she was taking away from her grandson and what was rightfully his. I didn’t care about percentages or money — I just wanted justice.

  Another hearing date was set for 7 February 2011. Robyn and I arrived early at the Four Courts that day. Brian’s solicitor had been hinting that they were willing to do a deal to reach a settlement. We hoped that that was the case and that we would finally be done with Brian and the Kennys.

  When we arrived at Courtroom 28, Ann and Brian’s sister were already there. Amanda Joyce was also present but she was not talking to the Kennys and a coolnesss appeared to have developed between them. Although Robyn and I suspected that this might have been staged in order to secure a larger portion of the estate for Brian, I was still quite entertained.

  Brian was once again brought to court handcuffed and accompanied by prison wardens.

  The case was put before the judge and he requested that all parties come to an agreement outside the courtroom.

  We stood in the hallway for over an hour with the barristers shuffling back and forth, trying to reach some agreement that would satisfy everyone. My barrister was still worried about the lack of a paper trail linking me to Mitchelstown Cottage so I really wanted to get it sorted that day.

  Amanda Joyce had told the court that she was applying for a separation order in the Family Court. This meant that our case could be dragged through the Family Court if we failed to reach a settlement that day. That would result in higher legal fees and the possibility of me ending up with nothing.

  Eventually we agreed that I would receive 20 per cent of the property, Amanda Joyce would receive 20 per cent and Brian’s parents would receive 20 per cent. Brian would be left with 40 per cent.

  It’s not the ideal outcome but I am happy with it and as Shakespeare said, I got ‘my pound of flesh’.

  The cottage will now be sold and the proceeds divided. A part of me feels sad about that. I loved that little cottage. But it brings the matter to a close and there is great relief in that too.

  Chapter Eleven

  LIFE GOES ON

  Violence of any type disgusts me and even more so when it is used on women. Why do so many men treat their wives or partners this way? I will never understand that. But why do women remain in the home? I do understand that. Women are afraid to leave, and they also try to keep their family unit together. As someone who has been in that position, I would say that you are no use to your children if you’re not around to see them grow up.

  But you also have to think of what your children witness and have to endure. Living in a home where there is a violent relationship shapes them for life. I held on to the relationship with Brian for as long as I could. I had two children with two different fathers, which is not something I am proud of, but I hoped that things would turn around. I was fooling myself. I was afraid to leave for fear of violent retaliation, and I was also afraid to find myself homeless. So for those reasons and those fears, I stayed for as long as I could. They might not seem reason enough to stay, but it seemed that way at the time. No matter which decision I made, I knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I would have to make a sacrifice. I am glad that I choose to sacrifice the cottage and not my life.

  When I think back to my time with Brian there were lots of external indicators that he was not liked. At the time I tried to ignore them and keep my head down in order to survive. I saw him in the company of some shady characters and witnessed the hatred that seemed to follow Brian around. He was crossing the wrong people without fearing the consequences.

  I remember on a few occasions when we were out shopping together, coming across young men that would sneer and spit at him. These men called him a snitch, a rat and a liar. They were very hostile. I was always nervous when we came across them, though it didn’t seem to bother Brian. I also remember being heckled. At the time, I had no idea what it was about, but I knew it had something to do with Brian. Some people who knew that we were a couple might have thought that I condoned or was involved in whatever it was Brian had done to them. None of these people knew the truth behind our relationship. I was fighting my battle with Brian and I didn’t need another one. Things were tough enough.

  Thankfully, we are all doing well today. Robyn is a successful young woman and I am very proud of her. She doesn’t let anything get the better of her. She is ambitious and funloving and she is her mam’s rock. Conor is now at secondary school. He is a typical young teenager: he loves his food and his Xbox 360. He’s a funny, witty and easygoing young man with a very gentle way about him. I am a very proud mam. They kept me strong through all of the craziness.

  I can only imagine what the outcome would have been if I had not left Mitchelstown Cottage with the kids. Brian would have moulded Conor, and God knows what he would have trained him to do.

  Since leaving my job in October 2008,1 have had a lot of time on my hands. I don’t have the morning rush to work anymore, and I no longer have to care for my dear Mam.

  Mam passed away in December of the same year. After she died I felt that there was a huge void in my life. So I decided to write my account of events before
somebody else decided to do it for me. I also wanted to write this for my children, so that they, especially Conor, would have some understanding of why we left Mitchelstown Cottage. I think that it is important that he understands when he is older. I am sure it will also cause Robyn to reflect. She remembers things that Conor is too young to remember. I hope that they will grow up having learned a lesson from our past and will never find themselves in a violent situation again.

  This is a different world from the one that our parents grew up in. Domestic violence was kept hidden back in those days — it is not today. Women are now stronger and are not afraid to speak out, but there are some that slip through the system and remain alone, dealing with this horrendous crime. Domestic violence can also affect men. They too can be recipients of violence and many men are too embarrassed and ashamed to speak out about their treatment. This shouldn’t be the case. Abuse is abuse, in whatever form, and it needs to be exposed.

  The present economic situation worries me for a number of reasons. Money problems have a big impact on families. As money is tight for a lot of people now, they feel under pressure to meet mortgage payments and pay bills. Some people worry about feeding their families on a budget, some remain sitting in the cold, afraid to turn the heating on. There are even those who are losing their homes. Anyone stuck in a violent situation will now worry even more about escaping. It might be the deciding factor in whether they feel able to make a break or not.

  Most people are unaware of the new laws that the government is trying to introduce. If passed, this new law will allow anybody to report domestic abuse — it will not be up to the victim alone. A similar law was passed in Great Britain and Northern Ireland. We need to demand that the law is passed here. If you know of a case of violence against another person, report it and keep reporting it. Keep diaries if you can. It will help the victim in the event of a serious injury or if they eventually decide to report the perpetrator.